by Bryan Fields
The buzzing sound had given me an idea what Nadia was doing. The lights going on confirmed it, as well as proving she wasn’t a natural leprechaun green. Our eyes met a second later. She made a throwing gesture toward me and everything went black. I don’t mean I passed out; I mean I was in the middle of the deepest, darkest blackness I’d ever experienced in my life. I moved backward until my shoulder touched the wall. I waved my hand in front of my face, and nothing changed. Blessed Mother, she blinded me!
“David, relax. Don’t move. It’s just a Darkness spell.” I heard cloth sliding on skin and bare feet walking across carpet. “I’ll have it off of you in a moment.”
“No problem,” I said. “I, ah, sorry for disturbing you. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me either,” she said.
I heard Nadia sit down on the couch. A moment later, poof, I could see again. The room wasn’t terribly bright, but after that degree of dark it still made me wince.
Nadia had put on a long flannel button-up night shirt. She pulled her feet up onto the couch and gave me a wary smile. “So, did you get a good look?”
“I’m not sure how to answer…what…um…what happened to the window?”
Nadia waved her hand, dismissing the question. “It’s fine. I just put a hole in it.”
I went to get a better look. The hole was five feet across and perfectly round, right in the center of the main picture window. Even at four in the morning, Vegas was a busy place, and the city’s noises competed to be heard over the sound of the wind. I shook my head. “How did you do that?”
“Movable Hole. Just like in a cartoon.” She leaned forward and pressed her fingers to her lips, chuckling. “You know that trick where you paint a tunnel on a cliff side and then drive through it? I have a set of paints that will do that. It is so cool.”
“I bet it is. Why is there a hole in the window?”
“The windows in my room were too small.” She saw my look and snickered. “I wanted to get high and I was afraid I’d set off the smoke alarm, so I was blowing the smoke out the hole.”
I nodded. “No problem, then. As long as you can fix it.”
“Of course I can fix it.” Nadia’s expression added you idiot to the end of her sentence. “I just peel the hole off the window. That’s why it’s called a Movable Hole.”
“Of course. You’re still high, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but at least Captain Jack had time to save the day. Several times.” She chuckled again.
Flag on the play! Oversharing! Ten yards for roughing the listener! I cleared my throat. “Ah, how long until you come down? I, um, there are a few things I’d like to discuss before things get going this morning.”
She tossed a pillow at my head. “I’ll come down when I’m good and ready.” She picked up another pillow and cocked her arm back to throw it. “Tell me something nice about me. Tell me I’m pretty. Tell me the vision of my nakedness set a fire in your loins. But say it the way you would say it.” She giggled again.
I looked up at the ceiling, shaking my head. “You are a flower of womanhood and were I free to do so I would take you in a manly fashion. After you sobered up. In fact, I’d feel better about this whole conversation if we were both wide awake and sober.”
“Oh, all right.” Nadia muttered something with a lot of vowels in it and snapped her fingers.
That horrible, bucket-full-of-ice-water feeling of perfect wakefulness slammed into me, leaving me moaning and holding my head. When I looked up Nadia was curled in a ball, banging her fist against the back of the couch.
I knelt beside her. “Are you all right?”
“No! I’m wide awake and cold sober on top of it. And I’m pissed because I wasted a perfectly good buzz.” She punched me in the shoulder. “You wanted me sober, you got it. What was so important it couldn’t wait for me to come down?”
I pulled her to her feet and over to the hole in the window. Down in the middle of the Strip, the casino where I’d be meeting Mister M later today was easy to pick out. “Rose and I are going to walk into that casino just before two this afternoon, and I want you to be there. You’ll need to get a new suit if you didn’t bring one.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why? I’m just a programmer. Why would you need a programmer at an investor meeting?”
“You’re not coming as a programmer. I’d like you to become our new Vice-President of Product Development.”
“Wha…wow.” Nadia turned away, wrapping her arms around her sides until a gust of wind caught her, making her shiver. She stepped away from the hole and sat down on the couch. “Why me?”
I sat down as well. “I’d be dead in the water without your advice and resources. If we get this investment deal and The Living Land goes forward, you’re the only person I have confidence will be able to deliver a product. If we don’t get it, I’m going to be depending on you to make Ecophage happen. You’re the best liaison between us and the Llewellyns. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Elves, it’s that, like cats, they look down on mere humans. They look up to you. All I can be is the boss. You can be the leader.”
She snorted and looked away. “They only look up to me because of mother’s antics. If she toed the line with Josephine, I’d be just another nobody.”
“No. They might envy you because of the freedom your mother enjoys, but they respect you for you. Just as Rose and I do.”
“I’m not convinced you’re right, but it would be bad for my ego to argue.” She walked to the window and leaned up against it, arms crossed. “There’s something I want. It’s not a demand. It’s…a desire I’d like to see fulfilled.”
I tried my best British accent. “Give it voice and see it considered.”
“I’d like you and Rose to marry me.”
I daresay I do a pretty good impression of a trout. You know…eyes bulging, jaw flapping up and down, muscle spasms. I managed to say, “Rose and I aren’t married.”
“Neither are Angus and Lilah. They’re each married to Mother, and she has another wife back home who isn’t married to Angus or to Lilah either. We’ve got nine different forms of marriage back home, and only three of them are permanent. Mother is in what’s called a steel chain. One married to another, with the consent of each person’s existing spouses and all marriages being permanent. With you and Rose, I’m asking for a silver chain. We can end it any time we want.”
“I see…” I rubbed my chin and tried to think through the idea. “Nadia, I don’t know if it would work. The acceptance—the spell binding Rose and I together—it actually controls our emotions, our sex drives, everything. I don’t know…well, I do know. We would never be able to treat you as a full partner in the relationship. You deserve better than being an afterthought.”
“Aiigh!” Nadia clawed at her scalp, leaving bleeding furrows in her skin. “If I deserve something so wonderful, where is it? I’m throwing myself at you and still getting rejected! What do I have to do, tear my clothes off and walk down the Strip holding up a sign that says, ‘Fu—”
“No.” Rose propped the separator door open and shook her head at Nadia. “Heal yourself and sit down, girl.” I breathed a sigh of relief that Rose had taken the time to find a nightgown.
“I can’t,” Nadia muttered. “I’m out of potions, and…I’m not a priestess. I can’t do healing magic.” She sat down on the couch and dabbed at the scratches with a tissue.
“I can.” Rose leaned over and touched Nadia’s forehead. Traces of silver light wove through Nadia’s hair, knitting torn skin back together. “I will never understand the point of having skin incapable of stopping even the smallest knife.”
Nadia touched the side of her head and nodded at the feel of smooth skin. “Ah, thanks. Look, I’m sorry. I have an issue with depression and even with the meds…I got carried away.”
“Yes, you did,” Rose said. “I know you’re lonely, but we can’t be your solution. If it was just sex, I’d be happy to indulge you. Harmony has given me a h
ost of advice on sex with Human females and I’d love to try her tips some time. The problem is you’re not happy with yourself, and no one can fix that but you.”
“Sex would help,” Nadia muttered.
“Not as much as you think. Your heart has too many conditions attached to it right now. You’re obsessed with your own mortality, and that obsession will drive you to want children. Family, a home life. I can’t let David be with someone who craves children. He is generous and kind, so he would be compelled to provide them to you. I can’t let him do that. I’m…too selfish. It would hurt me too much to see you carrying David’s child when I cannot.”
“I understand.” Nadia gave me a guilty glance. “I just don’t know how to fix myself.”
“Accept David’s job offer, for a start. If he’s good enough for you to have sex with, his opinion of your management skills must count for something.”
Nadia sighed. “Of course it does. That’s not the point. Why is it neither of you understands how a pity party works?”
“I know that wallowing in self-pity is useless.” Rose grimaced and shook her head. “Believe me, I did my share of it after…after I lost my children. I couldn’t rage. I couldn’t strike out at the one who hurt me…”
“Enough.” Nadia waved her hands back and forth, signaling fair catch followed by time out. “Please, stop! I don’t mean to be rude, but my mother is, literally, the official spokesperson for the god of sucking it up and putting on your big girl panties. There is nothing you can say about courage or self-reliance I haven’t heard over and over again my entire life. I know how to be strong and soldier on.” She buried her face in her hands. “What I can’t do is live with a problem I can’t solve.”
“Then just live,” Rose said. “Let it remain unsol—”
“And live for the moment, seize the day, make it count! Fill your life with living, right?” Nadia snorted. “Like I said, I know how to do that. I know full well there’s nothing about me to fix. I have a Human lifespan, no more, and I have never been allowed to be angry about that. I’m expected to enjoy it. I have to live this life perfectly the first time so Crom doesn’t laugh at me and slam the doors of Valhalla in my face when I die. No second chances, no time to fix things later, and no one to ask advice from. Do you see why I’m going crazy?”
“Yes,” I said. “You don’t want to find out if your mother would stand up to Crom for you. You’re afraid she’d just accept Crom casting you out.”
Nadia turned away, holding her sides and looking at the floor. “Yeah,” she muttered.
“No mother would do that,” Rose said.
“Aerin isn’t actually my mother,” Nadia said. “That whole alternate worlds thing. Danya and I are Daria and Natasha’s evil twins from another universe. Aerin murdered my real mother. I mean, yes, she was an evil, abusive, depraved, perverted bitch, but she was still my mother. Aerin killed her and took me as a loot drop. I’m not Aerin’s daughter, I’m a rescue puppy.” She stopped and clapped her hands over her mouth.
After several deep breaths, she lowered her hands. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Please, never mention any of that to Mother. She saved our lives and gave us a home. She gave us a future.”
I snickered. “So, that makes you the Wicked but Beautiful Daughter of an actual Evil Overlord? Oh, come on, Rose. Can we keep her? Please?”
“Wrong trope. I grew up to be a Dark Magical Girl.” Nadia snorted, shaking her head. “I wanted to be a Dark Action Girl. I really did. But...I just can’t get past needing to be loved. I always fall for either the Hero or the Charming Rogue. Problem is, the way my luck runs, the guy is just a Scoundrel pretending to be a Hero.”
“Oh, no wonder you two are drawn to each other.” Rose looked at Nadia and added, “He’s a Hero.”
“I know he is. That’s why I thought I had a chance.”
“What about one of the Llewellyns?” I asked. “Pretty broad field there.”
Nadia shook her head. “Too conditioned to be deferential. It won’t work if the guy’s afraid to disagree with me.” She took a calming breath to compose herself and turned to Rose. “If you don’t mind—if you can tell me—how do I get a Dragon girlfriend of my own?”
“I can examine you, and if you’re suitable, there is a spell to help my people find you.” Rose moved behind Nadia, hands on either side of Nadia’s head. “Relax, and focus on something that made you happy. Let me know when you feel it.” Rose had the spell powered up well before Nadia was ready, but eventually she nodded for Rose to proceed.
Analyzing Nadia took twice as long as it had with Ember. I tried to sense what Rose was feeling, but her level of focus blocked almost everything. Soon they were breathing together, hard and labored. By the time Rose lowered her hands and sagged back on the couch, both were covered with sweat.
I peered at Nadia, looking for the glow of a beacon spell. Nothing. I waited, but still no glow appeared. I looked at Rose. What happened? The question echoed and re-echoed, as though shouted into a mineshaft.
Rose’s gaze met mine. She is not suitable. There is so much darkness tainting her, joy has no room to grow. Rose’s voice had the same echo. I started to ask how we were talking like this, but it had to be a side effect of the spell she’d used on Nadia.
I did my best to focus my thoughts. We’ve seen her when she’s joyful. She’s a different person then. Test her at her best, not at her worst.
Rose shook her head. I will not risk her darkness contaminating another’s eggs. The danger is too great.
I felt Rose pulling back, prepared to expunge the leftover spell effects from her system and close the mental connection they had created. Mentally, I lunged for the edge of the door, trying to hold it open. We’ve known her for months, and this is not how she is normally. All I’m asking for is another test, when she’s not crippled by depression.
Fine. The door slid open again and I heard the rustle of scales as Rose’s Draconic self-image shrugged and stretched out on a phantasmal obsidian couch. I’ll test her again. How do you propose to cheer her up?
Tell her you need to retest her. Then we’ll go to breakfast, and figure the rest out later.
A masterpiece of simplicity, as always. Rose broke the connection, leaving my skull feeling a disturbing level of empty.
Nadia was at the far end of the couch, curled into a ball. “Well?”
“I’m sorry,” Rose said. “Your depression makes you unsuitable for bonding. We need partners filled with love, joy, and wonder. Depression would poison any children your partner might have, and they would become abominations. I can’t allow that.”
“Hmm. Well, I guess I’ll just stop being depressed, then.” Nadia’s shoulders sagged and she started to roll off the couch. I started to reach for her, but a mental caution from Rose held me back.
Rose caught Nadia’s arm and pushed her back. “You said you know all there is to know about picking yourself up and going on. Show it to me. Fill your heart with fire and come to me again. I’ll test you when you are strong. David has faith you will pass…and so do I. I want you to succeed.”
Nadia turned her head to the side, running her fingers through her hair. When she looked back at Rose, the glitter in her eyes was equal parts anger and tears. “You want to see me get born again hard, I’m good with that. I’ll be ready for the retest.”
“Good. I’m going back to bed now.” Rose started to stand up, and it was Nadia’s turn to catch Rose’s arm.
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Rose. At least, not yet. You and I have some unfinished business.” Nadia undid the top two buttons on her shirt. “We’re going to get high and you’re going to try out those notes your friend gave you. You owe me that.”
“How did you reach this conclusion?” Rose raised her eyebrow, but didn’t pull away.
“That scan you did was…damn personal. You got to know me, so I want to get to know you. I don’t know the spell you used, but I’m happy doing it the old-fashioned way
.” Nadia retrieved a water pipe from where she’d hidden it behind the couch and began refilling it. “Get naked, sister. Dragons can get high, right?”
I felt Rose shift from suspicion to a mix of glee and curiosity in an instant. “My mother did. A lot. I think it was one of the things she enjoyed most about her last trip here.” Rose started to pull her nightgown off, but stopped and looked at me. “David, do you mind if Nadia and I—”
I waved the question away as I stood up. “I don’t mind at all. I’ll…be in my bunk.” I grabbed my laptop and closed the separator door behind me.
Time to find out how much vodka our bar fridge held…
Chapter Thirteen
Flying Lessons
Some sadistic bastard was shaking my shoulder and shouting “I love tickling winter ferrets, catgirls covered in nacho cheese” in my ear. I rolled away. The bastard shook harder. I pried one eye open and found three Nadias standing next to the bed.
I blinked and tried to focus on the one in the middle. As clearly as I could, I asked, “Honkwaddle?”
Two of the Nadias—Nadiaii?—wagged their fingers at me. The middle one poked me in the forehead.
Aiighhh…. It took fifty bucks worth of those little bottles of booze to drown out Rose’s feelings and responses, and now, BAM. Sober and awake once more. I blinked again. The room was down to one Nadia, but it was enough. I sat up and tried to keep my eyes on hers. “Fine, fine, I’m sober. What did you say?”
Nadia glanced down and tucked her robe closed. “I said I’ll take the job. I want twenty percent more than Mitch made and I get to choose my staff.”
I nodded and took a moment to get oriented. It was a quarter of six, Rose was in the shower, and…oh, my. I fell back, grabbing my skull. Without the vodka, all the sensations I’d felt through Rose flooded in on me at once. It wasn’t painful, just embarrassing. I felt like an involuntary Peeping Tom.
