by T. R. Graves
"You and I haven't talked without Sam for years. Who are you dating now?" she asked with a schoolgirl giggle.
He glanced over at me and Mom and said, "Sam has to himself the only woman beautiful and intelligent enough to get me out of the world of politics, Selma. I've told you that a million times."
She playfully slapped his arm. "And, I've known every one of those times that you were lying to me. There's someone you're seeing. I feel it. I just don't know why you won't tell us who she is. It's not as if we'd share your secrets with the world."
By then, we'd made it to the study. As if he lived there, Barone walked over to the fireplace and began stacking the wood high. He meant for the fire to burn long and hot.
"Selma, you'll be first to know if there's ever a woman besides you in my life," Barone said, looking over at me in a way that felt as intimate as the earlier hug.
I glanced away.
"John, it looks like we're out of Gran's brandy. Let me see if there's some in the kitchen," Mom said, heading toward the door of the study.
I jumped into action. "I'll go check, Mom. You visit with President Barone."
Focused on her mission, Mom shook her head. "No. I need to look. I might even have to go over to the lab, and you can't get in there without me because of the security."
There was a smile on Barone's face that told me he was thrilled he and I were going to be alone together. Finally.
After she left, I kept my back to the wall, hugging it like I was attached to it, until Barone walked over to me and put his hand out. "There's no reason for you to be afraid of me, Carlie. I'm the last person in the world who'll hurt you."
Without options and knowing better than to offend our guest, I took Barone's hand and let him lead me over to the settee in front of the fire. The seat was barely big enough for the two of us, and he took advantage of the tight space by edging up closer than necessary, putting his arm behind me, and letting his hand drop down to my shoulder.
"Carlie, your father tells me you'll one day be as brilliant a researcher as your mother. That's truly a compliment coming from him," Barone said, leaning into me as if he were telling me a secret only he and I could hear.
I shrugged and made a point of not saying anything. It had more to do with the way he terrified me than my not having anything to offer to the discussion.
"You're always so shy around me. I go out of my way to bring you things that will let you know how I feel about you, to let you know how special you are to me. Still, you hide behind your parents like I'm going to hurt you. Even now, you're trembling as if you were trapped in a cave with a wild animal. Is that how you think of me, Carlie? Do you think I'd ever hurt you?" Barone asked.
His face was so close to my neck that the whisper of his words brushed across my skin and made me tremble even more.
I stared at my wringing hands and prayed Mom would return soon. "No, sir. I-I know you wouldn't hurt me." I lied.
Barone put his fingers under my chin and gently tugged until I was looking him in the face. "Good, because I won't ever hurt you. Not you. Not ever. Now talk to me about your plans. I know the throw down plans about going to the preparatory academy when you're seventeen, and I know you want to be a researcher like Selma and Peter. What I don't know is what you want to specialize in, what you want for your future. I want to know everything there is to know about you, my special little girl."
There was an inappropriate longing—to know me, to know my plans—that had me stuttering. "I-I'm not sure yet. Mom says I'll know what I want to specialize in after I've had a chance to work in a lab with other people. Sh-she thinks I focus too much on her work… that I-I need to work with other researchers so I'll really know if genetics is what I want to spend my life researching."
Barone pulled me closer and kissed my forehead before pushing me back and making me look him in the face again. "You silly little girl. You're still afraid of me. What can I do to change that? Shall I whisk you away from your parents and make you come live with me so you'll realize I'm not the monster you make me out to be in your head?"
I shook my head a little too fiercely. "No. I'm not afraid of you. I-I'm not ready to leave my parents. Please don't do that. Please," I begged.
I may have been young, but I knew enough about the world to understand if Barone wanted to take me away and do whatever he wanted with me, my parents wouldn't be able to say a word. They would have to go along with whatever he wanted, or he would have them killed. I knew that as surely as I knew the man next to me wanted more from me than I'd ever be prepared to give him.
"Shh!" He hugged me tight. "I'm not going to take you from your parents. I just want you to agree to spend more time with me. I want you to consider that you might one day be more than a scientist… that you might one day be the wife of the president. You could use that position to make a real change," Barone said wistfully.
Words failed me, but clearly Barone was looking for a response. "Do you not have anything to say to me? I just offered to one day make you my wife… to one day give you a piece of everything I own. All I'm asking from you is the chance to father your children."
His grip on my chin tightened, and I knew there was no way to get away from him without saying something.
"President Barone… I-I don't know what to say. I-I've never thought of myself as married, much less as a mother. I think I need a few years to think this over. I'm not even seventeen, and I've never been kissed by a boy, I-I-I…" I was rambling when my words were cut off by Barone's kiss. Not a boy's kiss. Barone's kiss.
Because my mouth was open when he kissed me, he was easily able to slide in his tongue, giving me a firsthand lesson on open-mouthed kissing. He wasn't rough or controlling or demanding. If I were being honest, he was more sweet and gentle. It was as if he were afraid anything more would frighten me, and that was the last thing he was trying to do.
I was too surprised to fight back. Instead, I let him do whatever he wanted. In his mind, my lack of struggle meant acquiescence, so he deepened his kiss, pulling me into him, cupping the back of my head in one hand and sliding his other hand up the back of my shirt.
He didn't pull away from me, and I didn't pull away from him until we heard noises down the hall. With the slamming of a door, he scooted away from me and said, "Th-that kiss must remain a secret between just the two of us, Carlie. Do you understand me?"
He was as hoarse and breathless as I was scared. All I could do was nod. What I wanted to do was run as fast and far from the study as I could. I wanted to go to my room and scream into my pillow. I wanted to scrub my skin and brush my teeth for hours. Afraid of what offending the president would mean to my family, I didn't do anything but sit stunned next to him.
Right before Mom rejoined us, Barone shocked me once again when he leaned into my ear and whispered, "I've never been so excited when kissing a woman, Carlie."
Then he took my hand and touched it to his crotch. The hardness there barely registered because the instant I realized what he'd done and where my hand was, I jerked it back and shoved them both between my thighs.
"You think I won't go in there and grab those out? In fact, nothing would please me more, my future wife," he said.
I knew then… I know now… I could run from him, but I could never hide.
Chapter 23
My Special Little Girl
Carlie
"Where is Carlie? I want to see her. Selma told me she's better, but I had to come here and see for myself that my special little girl is okay." Barone's always majestic and commanding voice echoed through the camp and into the tent where Rorie was curled into me like she was as afraid of our president as I was.
My special little girl! I hate it so much when he calls me that. I wish with my whole heart that Jayden would throat punch him.
Suddenly, I forgot my fear and focused on Rorie.
"Rorie, do you know President Barone?"
She nodded. "Yeah. He likes to meet with Thorne and talk about you
, Carles."
"Does he talk to you?"
Rorie shook her head. "No. Thorne makes me hide from him. He locks me in the closet. I think he's worried President Barone'll separate us. Send me away. When he comes, I stay especially quiet."
I hugged her tighter into me. "That's what you and I have to do right now. He's coming in here to see me. I want you to hide behind the screen, and I want you to be extra quiet. No matter what he says to me or what he does to me, I want you to stay hidden. He won't hurt me. Can you do that for me?"
"Carles, Thorne told me to stay with you. Plus, you might need me to protect you," Rorie said.
She was determined to follow her brother's orders and at the same time protect me if that's what I needed. She was braver than I could've ever imagined. For the hundredth time since I met the girl before me, I wondered how the world had underestimated what she and others like her offered. If anything, I wished there were more people like her and less like Barone.
I smiled and very carefully explained our situation. "He didn't know Barone was out there or he would've told you to hide. Now that we know, I'm going to ask you to do what you know Thorne would want. Then I'm going to remind you to stay hidden no matter what. I'll protect myself if I need to, but I know for a fact he won't hurt me."
As if she understood my urgency, Rorie got up and ran behind the screen and tucked herself into a ball. When I remembered Jayden seeing my silhouette, I rushed behind the screen and turned off the examination light. Then I grabbed a sheet and covered Rorie right before I put a finger to my lips. "Shh!" was the last order I gave her.
I was just about to sit back down on my cot when the flap to the tent flew open. There stood Barone. He had a grin that was wider than any he'd ever given me when he rushed toward me and pulled me into his chest.
"Carlie! Oh my God! Carlie! I'm so glad to see you up and about."
From the corner of my eye, I saw Jayden and Thorne standing on either side of the tent's entryway. Guarding it. Thorne was most anxious as he looked around for Rorie.
While Barone had me pulled into his chest and before he could see me silently communicate with Thorne, I darted my eyes several times over to the screen. I hoped he understood that Rorie was there. When he infinitesimally nodded his head, I knew he'd gotten the message. Rorie was safe, and for him, that was all that mattered.
When Barone pulled me back, he began inspecting me. The examination light may have been off, but there was still plenty of light within the infirmary so he could see my wounds in all their glory.
He turned my head to the side and blew out an exasperated breath before yelling, "St. Romaine! I sent you here to protect her, and this is what I get? I told you how important it was for her to remain unharmed. The fact that she almost died… the fact that she'll bear these scars the rest of her life makes me wonder if Sam's opinion of you is overinflated."
Jayden looked as if he'd been slapped. Rather than defend himself, he said, "You're right, sir. It was my responsibility to protect her at all cost. I failed. I failed miserably."
What the hell?
"No one failed. The entire thing was my fault. Jayden couldn't have prevented this," I objected.
When Barone turned a curious glance back toward me, I realized I didn't know the official story. I went out of my way to avoid mentioning Tawney or Gran.
"How so, Carlie?" Barone asked, tilting his head to the side.
My shoulders bobbed. "I-I don't remember a lot. Jayden and I were hiking… and I was tired. I told him I needed to rest. There was a log that looked like it would be good to lean against. I dropped down next to it only to find there was a bed of snakes curled up near its base. When they began attacking, I-I couldn't move. Jayden saw what was happening, jumped in the middle of them with me, and began kicking them away from me. Picking them up and throwing them as far away from me as possible. Trust me, he did everything he could to protect me from the snakes and get me the help I needed."
Barone's eyes landed back on Jayden. His earlier contempt was replaced with admiration, the admiration Jayden deserved.
"You're right, Carlie. Any man willing to jump into a bed of snakes for you needs both recognition and a reward," Barone proclaimed in much the way a medieval king would if he had a soldier who'd successfully protected his property.
Jayden shook his head. "I'm your Surrogate, sir. It is my pleasure to serve you. I only wish I could have done more for you. For her." Jayden nodded to me.
Everything about the subservience Jayden showed toward Barone sickened me and reinforced the fact that Barone was untouchable. My parents adored the ground Barone walked on, and Jayden idolized the man and the position. There was no one I could talk to about what he'd done to me and what he had planned for me.
Suddenly, I began questioning the mandate that Thorne and I be married.
Why would he have insisted upon that when he had other plans for me?
If I said the first word about what I knew to be true, everyone would assume I'd lost my mind. There was no way anyone would believe the president of our nation would risk his position and our nation's safety because of his infatuation with a seventeen-year-old girl.
If I'd not lived through the last seventeen years of his concentrated attention and if I'd not been party to the kiss myself, I'd think the same thing. The thing was I knew what his plans were and I had no intention of becoming the first teenaged First Lady or a teenaged First Mistress or whatever it was he'd been planning for me to be.
I eyed the brainwashed Surrogate that I'd been stealing kisses with for the last week, and instantly, it occurred to me something was off. Jayden had never treated me kindly. We'd always swapped insults like they were tennis balls and we were professional players. I should've guessed his sudden infatuation was concocted to control me.
Just like he'd controlled Tawney. Goddamn him to hell! He's been messing with me.
He saw the minute realization sank in, and he had the good sense to look embarrassed. No one was more embarrassed than me. I'd been duped. I thought he'd missed me so much that he finally admitted feelings he'd always had for me. He'd known all along I cared. Without a second thought or a backward glance, he served me up on a platter to the pedophile controlling his every action.
Controlling all of our actions.
Thorne's stare bounced between Jayden and me. He realized something was going on but was confused about what it really was.
"What shall we give you for a reward?" Barone asked.
I gulped. This would be the moment of truth. Jayden's request would give me a very clear picture of who he was.
"I'd like to be promoted to a Lead Surrogate position, sir. It's all I've ever wanted," Jayden said with the detachment of a loyal soldier determined to put his president and country ahead of his own needs. My needs.
I blinked back tears. I'd been a means to an end. He'd been told that if he brought me back alive, he'd get the one thing he wanted his whole life. To be a Lead Surrogate Soldier, the highest ranking position for his kind.
He never cared for me, and the only reason he cared if I lived or died is because of his orders. Jesus! How could I have been so stupid?
"There's never been two Lead Surrogate Soldiers, St. Romaine. Are you suggesting there be two now?"
"No, sir. I'm suggesting Surrogate Manniless be demoted back into the ranks," Jayden shouted with the choppiness of a soldier answering his commander in chief.
"The fact is, St. Romaine, he was given the same orders you were: bring Carles Enoche back to me. You were the only one who could get close to her family. You were the only one who convinced her parents to return to their duties. You were the one to rescue her from near death. If either of you should be Lead Surrogate, I believe it's you who's proven to be worthy. As soon as I get back to the office, I'll draw up the proclamation and sign it." Barone conceded.
Jayden reached into his back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. At the top, I saw the official Aspect Society seal. "I have the
papers right here, sir. The sooner you sign it, the sooner I can take on the official duty of notifying Surrogate Manniless of his demotion."
Barone was as pleased with Jayden as I suspect he'd ever been with anyone. He admired the way Jayden saw what he wanted and lied, cheated, and manipulated everyone until he got it. Rather than risk anything happening between now and when the president made it back to his office, Jayden was prepared with the necessary papers.
He really is the perfect soldier, isn't he?
If anyone deserved the lead position, it was the man who'd pulverized my heart into particles of dust so fine they could never be molded back together or left in any condition to ever care for anyone again.
Barone took the papers from Jayden's hand, pulled a pen from his pocket, and, as promised, signed them before pushing a button on the pen, pricking his thumb, and embedding his genetic code within the document. As quick as that, he'd made Jayden the Lead Surrogate Soldier. There were only two people more powerful within Aspect Society, the president himself and my father when he'd been Secretary of Defense.
Jayden's promotion was as tainted as Barone's presidency. I couldn't celebrate it because it came with a cost, one that involved lying, cheating, and betraying, and there was nothing I could say or do to him or Dad to make either of them realize that what he'd done had been wrong. Dad loved Jayden like he was a son. I couldn't very well tell him I had a crush on Jayden and that Jayden had hurt me, all the while saving me and my entire family's lives.
Dammit! There really is no way for me to win, is there?
Jayden's grin spread from ear to ear the instant he had the papers back in his hands. His new position was one of great honor and prestige. I wanted to be proud of him and for him, I just couldn't. Not when it felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest.
It took everything in me to pretend as if I wasn't hurting, to pretend as if I thought he deserved a promotion, to pretend as if I wasn't repulsed by the touch of Barone's hands on my bare skin.
