by Amy Jarecki
The warship beckoned. Once he set sail, he’d leave his affairs behind, fill his nostrils with salty air and enjoy the cruise to the Holy Land. Though when he arrived, it would be a different matter. He didn’t care for killing, but he’d become exceptionally good at it.
He strolled around the wall walk, greeting sentries along the way. With the wind in his face, his heavy heart lightened somewhat. Arriving at the donjon, he turned and retraced his steps, all the way around and through the west tower.
The Campbells had been caretakers of this castle for over two hundred years. Though Dunstaffnage had been through many sieges, his family always prevailed. The Campbells had faithfully been powerful supporters of the king and Scotland. And now, as a third son, he’d first become a knight and then earned his own title as Lord of Glenorchy—so much more than a third son could wish for. He wanted his castle at Kilchurn completed so badly he could taste it.
Jonet’s death had dealt him a calamitous blow. He could not allow his grief to claim his wits. Colin would rise above his melancholy and build a feared dynasty that would remain strong throughout the centuries. Duncan would live. He knew it in the depths of his bowels, and the lad’s healthy cries only stood to cement Colin’s conviction.
Once he’d made it back around to the donjon, Colin rested his elbows on the wall and stared out over the Firth of Lorn. He didn’t want to go inside. This was the first time he’d truly relaxed since—well, he couldn’t recall the last time he’d been at ease.
Up there on the wall-walk, tension melted from his shoulders. It had been the same when he was a lad—a quiet walk with the wind in his face, gazing out over the idyllic Highland scenery.
The sunset filled the western sky with brilliant orange. He could watch the changing sky for hours, but his duties awaited and soon supper would be served.
Heaving a heavy sigh, he whipped around and collided with Lady Margaret.
His breath caught in his throat. Every muscle in Colin’s body seized to stop his forward progress. So small, the lady tottered and nearly fell through a crenel notch. Colin gripped her hands and steadied her. “Bloody oath, what were you doing sneaking up on me like that?”
Margaret jerked her arms away and rubbed her wrists. “I wasn’t sneaking. I stepped outside and you practically barged over the top of me.” She wore a cloak fastened around her shoulders, her chestnut locks uncovered. A breeze swept them up in a shimmering flutter of silk.
He glared at her, not about to allow himself to admire her blasted uncovered hair. God’s teeth, his heart had practically leapt out of his chest when she’d nearly fallen to her death. “I just lost one wife. I’m not certain I’m ready to lose another quite yet.”
“That’s good to know.” She sidled past him, looking at the view. “Forcing me to ride behind the wagon, I’d begun to wonder.”
Must she continually challenge him? “You were safer at the rear.”
She turned, a flash of anger narrowing her green eyes. But her face stopped him dead. He leaned closer. The sun made her eyes look iridescent, like the green water in the shallows. It was unholy to have eyes so vibrant.
She opened her mouth as if she were going to speak, but released a breath and turned, sweeping her gaze across the Firth of Lorn. The waves glimmered with a kaleidoscope of sunlit colors. “Your son is a beautiful bairn.”
He bowed his head. “Thank you.”
“Effie reported he’s sleeping well.”
Against his better judgment, he leaned against the wall. Oh how he craved idle conversation. “’Tis good to hear.”
“Aye.” Margaret slipped her bottom into a crenel notch and folded her hands. Obviously, the thought of a lethal fall to the stony outcropping below hadn’t crossed her mind. “She said about all he’ll do for the next several months is eat and sleep, and…you know.”
Colin chuckled. “Of course.”
She sat silent for a moment, staring out over the water. The sun had nearly lost its light. “This is a beautiful view. I’ve never been to the west before.”
“I’m glad you like it. Jon…er…I like it up here as well.”
Margaret frowned. She’d already proved her intelligence, and his reference to Jonet hadn’t gone unnoticed. Fortunately, Margaret didn’t utter a word. She set out along the walk, running her fingers atop the stone wall.
Colin followed. His hand itched to take hers, but he clenched his fists against his ridiculous notion. A breeze stirred and picked up her hair, making it sail. A lock brushed his nose. Filled with her scent, Colin reached up and watched while the silken tresses tickled his fingers. Mindlessly, he toyed with her hair as they strolled in comfortable silence.
Margaret stopped.
Colin nearly walked over the top of her. God, he was touched in the head, losing his mind over her bloody hair.
The sky turned cobalt, highlighting a strip of white clouds above. “I don’t believe I’ll ever tire of watching the sun set.” Her soft voice chimed on the breeze.
Together they stood and watched the western sky succumb to the last hint of orange sunlight and fade into deep shade of violet. Margaret’s profile looked flawless in the dim light. Porcelain skin, shaded with dark blue. She was too lovely for him—too beautiful for any man with a stone heart.
When blackness fell, the sentries lit the battlement torches. Margaret faced him. “I’d best prepare for supper, m’lord.”
Colin’s gaze dipped to her eyes, then to her moist lips. He inclined his head. Her breath caught and she raised her chin ever so slightly. Her warmth drew him nearer. His need for comfort twisted around his heart. Ever so gently, he brushed his lips over hers. He smoothed his hand to her silken nape and tasted the skin from her dainty jaw line all the way down her slender neck.
When his lips met wool, she stepped away from his grasp, her eyes dazed. “A-are you w-well, my lord?”
Blinking, he jerked up his head. “God’s teeth, forgive me.”
Self-loathing blasted wider the gaping hole in his heart. Colin absolutely did not just permit her to snare him with her allure. Ballocks, he still might choose to annul this marriage. Thank God she’d said something to snap him from his trance. And what the hell was he apologizing for? Was he not allowed a moment’s respite?
He gestured toward the donjon entrance. “Go on ahead. I shall attend you shortly,” he clipped.
Once the echo of her footsteps faded, Colin balled his fists. Why did she have to come up and destroy his peaceful solitude? Margaret’s presence twisted his gut in knots. He didn’t want to like her. Perhaps a good long turn in the Holy Land was what he needed to set his troubled mind to rights.
He descended the stairs. At the first turn he stopped. It would be best if Margaret was with child when he set sail. If he were to die in battle, he’d at least have one more son who bore his name.
Heaven help him, he couldn’t visit her in the lady’s bedchamber. The memories there were rawer than those in his own suite of rooms. No. He should stand beside his decision to stay away from Lady Margaret. Besides, with luck, she may already be with child.
***
Margaret paced in her chamber, tapping her fingers to her lips. For a fleeting moment, she’d sensed a connection with Colin, but of course she had to say something and destroy it. Her knees had wobbled when he’d touched his lips to hers. She’d wanted more, but confusion clouded her mind. Standing beside him and watching the sun set had been so peaceful, like they were beginning to form a bond. Yet further intimacy terrified her.
After, when he’d apologized, she’d become even more confused.
Oh heavens, what was she to do? She needed someone in whom she could confide. Was it normal for a new bride to fear her husband’s touch? Groaning, she glanced into the looking glass and straightened her veil before she headed to the great hall.
Late for the evening meal, Margaret pattered up to the dais. Lord Argyll stood and held the chair for her. “Thank you,” she said.
He bowed stiffl
y. “A pleasure, m’lady.”
Margaret batted the air with a hand. “You must call me Margaret. We are peers.”
He took the seat at the head of the table, and everyone else in the enormous hall followed suit. “Very well.”
Margaret took a moment to study the décor. Long wooden tables sat in the center of the floor, filled with Campbells who supported the community—mostly dressed in muted plaids. The walls were adorned with regal tapestries, and behind her, an enormous yellow flag embroidered with the red lion rampant signified the royal charter of this keep. Indeed, the Campbells lived up to their reputation of being King James’s right hand.
She lifted the ewer of ale and poured for him. “And what shall I call you?”
“I suppose Argyll will suit. I haven’t been called Colin by anyone in so long, I doubt I’d respond to the name.”
“That is funny.” She filled her own tankard.
A servant placed a trencher of food on the table. Argyll held it up for her. “And where is your husband this eve?”
Margaret scanned the great hall. It was filled with people, but she did not see Colin. “I’ve no idea.” Honestly, she was happy to converse with Argyll without Lord Glenorchy frowning over everything.
Argyll broke off a piece of bread. “Perhaps he’s dining in his solar. He’s got a great many matters to attend—and the trip to Stirling set him back a bit.”
“Did it now?” Margaret eyed him. “I’m sorry to have been such a bother.”
He rolled his eyes to the bold, arched ceiling rafters. “Of course, you could never be a bother to anyone.”
“Tell that to Lord Glenorchy,” she mumbled into her tankard before drowning her comment with a healthy swig. Things between them would be so much more palatable if he at least liked her. Kissing and then apologizing as if a man should never kiss his wife? What on earth was the Black Knight thinking?
“Ah, Margaret,” Argyll said. “As I said before, he’s a good man. He needs time, is all.”
A bit surprised Argyll had heard her comment, she sighed. Colin’s nephew may very well be the only soul to whom she could bemoan her woes. “He might need time, but he doesn’t seem to need me.”
“He does—more than you know.” The lord patted her shoulder. “He’s just too proud to admit it.”
“Well, he’ll certainly need someone to handle his affairs after he sails for Rome.”
“Very true.” Argyll shoved a knife of lamb into his mouth. “His father, rest his soul, handled things in his stead during Colin’s last crusade.”
“I’m quite capable, if he would only realize it.”
“I have no doubt.”
She desperately needed a change of subject. “I’m looking forward to seeing Kilchurn finished—and on schedule.”
Argyll arched a single brow. “Aye? Then you can start on my castle in Inverary next.”
“One thing at a time.” She chuckled. “And what about you, Argyll? Have you a woman in mind to marry?”
“No one in particular as of yet.” He raised his tankard. “Eventually I want to marry, but I’m off to court at first light on the morrow. I’m to assume my appointed position of master of the king’s household.”
“Oh dear, that does sound tedious. Though you will have an opportunity to meet every available courtier in Scotland.”
Argyll laughed. “I like the way you think, Auntie.”
“Pardon me?” She whacked his shoulder. “We are both two and twenty. I’ll hear no ‘aunties’ from the likes of you.”
He raised his tankard. “Apologies in the grandest order.”
She tapped her cup to his with a clank of pewter. “Accepted. Though I must say I shall miss you. I could use an ally around here.”
“Never you mind. In time, Colin will become your greatest advocate. I have no doubt.”
“I wish I could be as confident as you.” Margaret also wished Argyll might have married her rather than Colin. Though the younger man wasn’t quite as handsome, he was far more amiable. Colin treated her like chattel. Curses to his knee-wobbling kisses… You will be stepmother to my son or be damned with you.
She touched her fingers to her lips as if she’d spoken the vulgar words aloud. Never in her life had she uttered the word damn…or even thought it. She hadn’t known Colin Campbell for long, but he surely was bringing out deep-seated angst she didn’t care for in the slightest.
A shiver slithered up her spine. She’d been thinking about it since he’d shooed her off the wall-walk. Why had he apologized? Does he hate me? She crossed her arms and rubbed the outside of her shoulders.
That was it.
Colin thought her unsightly and dull. Her throat closed. Once Argyll left for court, she’d have no allies here at all.
Chapter Eleven
Dunstaffnage Castle, 12th October, 1455
Margaret broke her fast in her chamber. Colin didn’t come down for supper last eve, nor had he made any appearance. He obviously wanted distance, obviously detested being in her presence. She couldn’t decide if his detachment or his disdain hurt more. She dabbed the corner of her mouth with a cloth. Definitely his silent rejection caused a knot in her stomach to clamp so taut, she couldn’t eat.
Margaret loathed Dunstaffnage. Her chamber reeked of another woman. It wasn’t at all like the rooms she’d stayed in at the palace. There was a personality to it—winsome, with ivory linen bed coverings embroidered with garlands of colorful flowers. In fact, the upholstery of the very chair she sat upon had the same floral pattern. Yet another reason to see the tower house at Kilchurn finished soon. Living in the shadow of a dead woman, Margaret would have no hope of surpassing Jonet’s legacy. She’d never met Colin’s former wife—how on earth could she be expected to fit the mold?
She wandered down the passage and entered the nursery. Effie smiled from the rocking chair. The matron seemed to never leave Duncan’s side.
“Where do you sleep?” Margaret asked.
Cradling Duncan in one arm, Effie pointed to a side door. “In the nursemaid’s quarters.”
“That explains why you’re with the lad hour upon hour.”
“Aye, but I don’t mind. I was born to care for children.”
Margaret tapped the cradle and watched it rock. “Do you have any children of your own?”
“One son, a bit older than Lord Glenorchy. They played together when they were lads.”
Margaret walked around the tidy nursery, filled with toys with which Colin could once have played. “How nice you were able to keep him with you while you were working. What does he do now?”
“Lord Campbell was kind enough to give him a trade. He manages the stables.”
“And your husband?”
Effie smoothed her hand over Duncan’s head. “He passed.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No need. It was ever so long ago.”
Wringing her hands, Margaret moved to the window. Colin was mounted with his entourage of men. With a gasp, she glared down at the courtyard. Oh no, she could never mistake his physique when clad in armor. His shoulders were as wide as his warhorse’s rump. “Do you know where Lord Colin is off to this morning?”
“Back to Kilchurn.”
Margaret crossed her arms and clutched them tight against her ribs. How did Effie know Colin was returning to Kilchurn, when he hadn’t mentioned a word to her? “He told you?”
“Aye, stopped in to see Duncan at dawn.”
That confirms it. He cannot stand the sight of me. Margaret kept her back turned. Her lack of relations with her husband was none of Effie’s concern.
The old woman set the babe in his cradle and came up behind her. “He’s a good man, Colin.”
“Is he?” She would not speak ill of him to a servant.
“He’s suffering from a bout of melancholy. He took Jonet’s death very hard.”
Margaret continued to watch from the window. Colin led his men out the inner gate. “I’m sure his loss must have been
devastating.” If his attitude toward me is any indication, I’m positive he’s wallowing in misery. But Margaret’s throat tightened. That he was hurting, she had no doubt, nor did she have any clue as to how to ease his pain—or hers.
“I’ve known Lord Colin since the day he was born. He can hide naught from me.” Effie grasped the window furs. “The lord is still in mourning. I can see it in his eyes.”
“Perhaps that’s why he can show me no…” Margaret silenced herself. She mustn’t have this conversation with Effie. She tapped her hand to her chest. “His former wife was nice, was she not?”
“Aye, caring and lovely. Perhaps not as beautiful as you, but she had an endearing air about her.”
Margaret’s stomach twisted. “I gathered as much—the endearing part especially.” The entourage gone, she turned and regarded the old nursemaid. Effie had a kindly, careworn face. “The mistress’s chamber reflects the same.”
“Ah. You will have to see that changed.”
“I’d prefer to be in Glen Orchy, overseeing the completion of the castle. There I’ll ensure every chamber decorated to my taste.”
Effie placed a hand on her shoulder. “You do have ambition. It will serve Colin well.”
The woman’s light touch consoled and Margaret welcomed it. “If he’ll only allow me the freedom to do so.”
“Give him time, m’lady. He’ll come around.”
“Aye.” Margaret grimaced. “Mayhap not before he goes on another crusade and gets himself killed.”
Effie pulled her into a soft embrace, smelling of warm bread. “Lord Colin will not perish in battle. He is far too skilled with a sword.”
***
Left alone for an indeterminate amount of time, Margaret took it upon herself to explore the castle. Besides, it was more interesting to discover passages and secrets without a nosy guide. Colin’s chamber was beside hers, joined by an internal door. Had she known, she would have pushed a table across it. But it mattered not—he hadn’t come to her, and from his cool distance, she thought it a good possibility he might never do so again.
