by Katie Lane
There was a desperate franticness in the way she kissed him, like a kid eating ice cream before it all melted in the heat of the sun. She sucked and pulled at his lips like she couldn’t get enough. Her neediness sent his desire spiraling, but he ignored his need and tried to push her away. She wasn’t having it. She unbuckled her seat belt and crawled right over the console into his lap.
She fit perfectly. Her butt nestled against his hard-on and her soft breasts seared a hole in his chest. He desperately wanted to tug open two snaps of her western shirt and slip his hand inside her bra to cradle the supple fullness of her breasts. Desperately wanted to feel her nipple drilling into his palm before he pushed down her bra and lowered his head for a deep taste of her sweet flesh. Instead, he pulled away from the kiss and spoke the hardest words he’d ever had to say.
“No, Penny. We can’t do this.”
“Cru,” she whispered his name like a prayer. “Please.” The pleading in her voice strengthened his resolve. Penny wasn’t just pleading for a night of hot sex. She was pleading for something more. She might not know what it was, but he did. She was pleading for a man to love her like she deserved to be loved. As much as Cru wanted to be that man, he knew he wasn’t.
He lifted her and set her back in her seat. “I need to get you home.” He took a deep uneven breath before he put the truck into drive and pulled back out on the road.
“But I don’t want to go home.”
“I know what you want, Penny. And I can’t give it to you. I can’t give it to any woman.”
She flopped back in the seat and snorted. “As if I believe that. You’ve given sex to plenty of women, Cru Cassidy. Including my sister!”
Once again, he almost drove off the road. He corrected his steering and glanced over at her in shock. “Your sister? You think I had sex with your sister?”
“I don’t think. I know. The proof is my fourteen-year-old nephew.” Her eyes widened as much as Cru’s did, and she clamped a hand over her mouth as he tried to recover from the bomb she’d just dropped.
Too stunned to drive, he pulled over to the shoulder and turned to her. “You think I got Evie pregnant?”
She squeezed her eyes closed and spoke through her fingers. “Oh my God, what am I doing? I almost had sex with my nephew’s father.” Her face lost all color and her eyes popped open as she fumbled with the door handle.
“What are you doing?”
She didn’t answer as she opened the door and jumped out. She left the door open, and he watched as she bent over and threw up in the wildflowers growing by the road.
He leaned back in the seat and ran a hand through his hair as he tried to digest what she’d just told him. Penny hadn’t just thought he kissed Evie. She thought he’d had sex with Evie. And not just that: she thought he’d gotten her pregnant. No wonder she’d hated him when he first got there. But how had she come to that conclusion? The only answer seemed to be Evie.
He grabbed the bottle of water he always kept in the cup holder and got out. By the time he made it around the truck, Penny had stopped throwing up and was sitting on the ground with her head and arms resting on her bent knees.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No. I’m dying.”
“I wish I could tell you that you’ll feel better in the morning. But you’ll probably feel worse.”
She moaned. “Then shoot me now and put me out of my misery.”
“Here.” He held out the bottle. “Drink some water. It will help.”
She lifted her head and accepted the bottle. After she had taken a few sips, she spoke. “Thank you. Not just for the water, but also for driving me home. I’m sure you didn’t plan to spend your Friday night watching a woman throw up . . . or being mauled by her.”
“I never mind being mauled by a beautiful woman. And I’ve had my fair share of tequila nights where I’ve done some embarrassing things.”
“I’m sure you never had to force yourself on a woman.” She screwed the lid on the bottle. “I’m sorry. It was a huge mistake.”
“Because you really didn’t want to or because I had sex with your sister and got her pregnant?”
Her gaze snapped up to him. “Yet another reason I shouldn’t drink tequila. It makes me say things I have no business saying.”
“Who told you I had sex with Evie?”
She got to her feet. She weaved a little and he took her arm and steadied her. Her gaze locked with his. “No one had to tell me, Cru. I saw you kiss her. And I overheard you bragging to the other boys about how you had sex with her.”
He had bragged about having sex with Evie. But it had been a lie. He hadn’t even made it to second base with her. After one chaste kiss, she’d pushed him away before he could get another. It had been a major blow to his fifteen-year-old super-sized ego, so he’d lied to the other boys. It looked like he hadn’t been the only one lying.
“And you asked Evie and she told you it was me?” he asked.
“She wouldn’t tell anyone who it was. She knew how much my father hated the Double Diamond boys and she didn’t want him to find out and do something that would get him tossed in jail. Or try to get revenge on Chester and Lucas for bringing you there in the first place.”
So it was a Double Diamond boy who had gotten Evie pregnant? He couldn’t believe it. He’d been the only boy after Evie. What kind of game was Penny’s sister playing? Whatever it was, it pissed him off. Not only was Penny’s father a jerk, her sister was too. He wanted to tell Penny the truth, but he decided it would be best if he waited until she was sober. She was still unsteady on her feet and probably wouldn’t even remember their conversation tomorrow.
“Come on. Let’s get you home.”
They didn’t talk the rest of the way to the Gardener Ranch. Cru was busy trying to figure out which one of his friends had gotten Evie pregnant, and Penny looked like she had fallen asleep. Or more likely passed out. Once he pulled up in front of the porch, he jumped out to open her door. He thought he might have to carry her inside, but by the time he got around the truck, she was getting out on her own. He took her arm to help her and her gaze lifted to his. “Did you love her?”
He should lie. Keeping Evie between them would be for the best. But damned if he could lie to those clear blue eyes. “No, I didn’t love Evie. I’ve never loved any woman.”
“Because your mom left you in a bus station?”
He felt like someone had stripped him naked and shown all his imperfections to the world. His face heated with humiliation. “Who told you that? Chester? Lucas?”
She stared back at him, her eyes wide and filled with sympathy. “I found the Double Diamond Boys’ Ranch questionnaire in the barn.”
All the pieces fell together. She’d found the questionnaire the same day she’d invited him to the ranch. She hadn’t asked him here to watch out for Chester and Lucas. She’d invited him here because she felt sorry for the poor orphan kid whose mother had left him at the bus station. He couldn’t help feeling embarrassed and angry.
“I’m not some fuckin’ three-legged dog that needs your sympathy or a home, Penny,” he snapped. “I’ve done just fine in my life without a mom. In fact, I don’t even remember her.”
It was a lie. He remembered everything about his mother. Her long, dark hair that brushed his cheek when she leaned down to give him a goodnight kiss. The sparkle in her green eyes when he did something to make her laugh. The lyrical sound of her voice when she sang him lullabies. But mostly, he remembered the feel of her arms when she gave him a long, tight hug before he went into the stall to use the bathroom.
And he remembered the desperation and fear he felt when he came out and she was gone. Penny was right. He didn’t trust any woman with his heart because he never wanted to feel that pain again. But if he could trust someone, it would be Penny. And she didn’t deserve to be snapped at just because she’d felt sympathy for the four-year-old boy he once was.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just don’t
like to talk about the past.” He held onto her as they walked to the porch. When they reached the steps, she turned to him and sent him a quizzical look.
“Do you really think you’re as cute as Trixie?” He laughed, but his laughter died when she reached up and brushed a strand of hair off his forehead. “You’re wrong. Everyone needs a mom, Cru.” Before he could reply, she climbed the steps and disappeared inside.
Her words stuck with him as walked back to his truck. Once inside, he glanced at the glove box. He should’ve left the letter in the Porsche when he sold it. Instead, he had pulled it out at the last minute. He hated himself for the weakness. And he hated his mother even more.
Intending to rip the letter into shreds, he opened the glove compartment and took it out. He stared at the handwriting on the front of the envelope. It had been addressed to Father Stephen but hadn’t reached him until he’d been too ill to send it on to Cru. Or maybe the old priest had never planned to forward it. Maybe he’d been smart enough to know the past should be left in the past. It had been Sister Bernadette who found it when she was going through Father Stephen’s things. At the funeral, she had been so excited to give it to him. The sister thought she was giving him the best gift of all when she told him his mother was looking for him and had given Father Stephen her contact information.
But the information meant nothing to Cru.
He’d stopped looking for his mother years ago.
Chapter Fourteen
Penny woke up with a queasy stomach, a pounding head, and the feeling that she’d done something very wrong. As soon as she remembered what that something was, her stomach and headache took a back seat to humiliation, guilt, and fear. She was humiliated for acting like a lovesick idiot with Cru. Guilty for trying to seduce her nephew’s father. And terrified her sister was going to kill her for letting the cat out of the bag.
“I hate tequila,” she moaned as she rolled to her back and covered her face with a pillow. The sound of Sketcher sneakers squeaking against the wooden floor had her pulling the pillow off her face and looking at Sadie, who stood there holding a tray in her hands.
“Stop being so dramatic, Penelope Anne.” Sadie set the tray on the nightstand and Penny could smell the wonderful aroma of hot coffee. “You just had some fun last night. It’s not the end of the world.” She walked to the window and pushed open the curtains.
The blinding sunlight that flooded in made Penny’s head throb even more. It also made her realize how late it was. She sat straight up, then had to close her eyes to regain her equilibrium. “What time is it?”
“Close to ten.”
Her eyes flew open. “Ten! I have a million things to do this morning.” She started to swing her legs over the edge of the bed, but Sadie stopped her.
“Stay right where you are, young lady. You’re in no condition to do ranch work today.”
“But I need to help Dylan fix the north fence and the vet is coming to check out that sick calf and I talked Chester into going to the ophthalmologist for his cataracts and his appointment is this afternoon.”
“I’ll be happy to take Chester to his appointment. Dylan can get one of the other ranch hands to help him with the fence. And I told your father you’re not feeling well so I’m sure he’ll take care of the vet.”
Penny flopped back. She really didn’t feel well. She groaned and covered her face with a pillow again. Sadie removed it and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Here, have some coffee. It will help with that margarita hangover.” She picked up the steaming mug from the tray and held it out.
Penny sat up and took it, sighing when the aroma of the coffee filled her nose. “How do you know it’s a margarita hangover? I could’ve been doing shots.”
“You know how word travels in a small town. Millie Stanton called me to go over the minutes of the last garden club meeting and mentioned her son saw you and Emma downing margaritas last night at Cotton-Eyed Joe’s.” Penny rolled her eyes and Sadie swatted her leg. “She wasn’t gossiping maliciously. She agrees with me that it’s about time you enjoyed life instead of spending all your time working the ranch.”
“I enjoyed myself a little too much last night.” As she sipped her coffee, the events of the night before paraded through her mind like the vacation videos her Grandfather and Grandmother Myers used to make her sit through, and it wasn’t pretty. She cringed.
“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Sadie said. “Although I was a little concerned when I heard you left with Cru Cassidy. Is there something going on between you two?”
The night before proved there was plenty going on between them. Or at least on her end. All it had taken was a few margaritas for her to forget all about his relationship with Evie and return to that thirteen-year-old girl who made a fool out of herself over him. If he hadn’t put a stop to things, she had little doubt she’d feel even guiltier right now.
“Nothing’s going on between me and Cru,” she lied. “He just drove me home because I’d had too much to drink.”
Sadie sent her a knowing look. “Do you think I was born yesterday? I’ve seen the way you look at him. It’s the same way you looked at him when you were thirteen.”
Penny stared at her in surprise. “You knew I had a crush on Cru?”
“Of course I knew. Anyone with eyes could see it.”
“Daddy and Evie didn’t.”
“I’m not so sure about Evie. But your daddy has blinders on where you’re concerned. You’re his baby girl. The one who worships the ground he walks on. He can’t see that ever changing.”
“That might’ve been true when I was a little girl, but I don’t worship the ground he walks on now. We argue all the time about how to run the ranch.”
“Argue. But if you notice, you’re always the one who gives in.”
She opened her mouth to deny it, but then realized Sadie was right. “Just because I don’t want to get in a major fight like Evie that doesn’t mean I worship him. I just respect him as my father and a man who knows a lot more about ranching than I do.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Penny. I think you’ve long since earned a say in how this ranch is run. But I figure you’ll stand your ground when it’s something that really matters to you. I just hope that something isn’t Cru Cassidy.”
She tried to ease Sadie’s mind . . . and her own. “I might’ve had a crush on him when I was a kid, but every girl has a teenage crush. If you catch me looking at him now, it’s just because . . . well, he’s a good-looking man. Can’t a girl notice a hot cowboy?”
“If you were another woman, I’d think nothing of it. But you’ve never taken note of hot cowboys before and there have been plenty of them around. Dylan Matheson is a good example. He’s one fine-looking young man and you don’t give him a second glance. Nor have you given any other man a second look. I can count on one hand how many times you’ve gone out on a date in the last year.”
Penny set her coffee on the nightstand. “Ranching is hard work. I have enough to worry about without adding a man to the mix.”
“Well, if you didn’t want to add a man to the mix, why did you invite Cru to stay here? I can see inviting Chester and Lucas. They’re our neighbors and they lost their home. But Cru is a big boy. He could’ve stayed in town at Dixon’s Boardinghouse.”
Penny was surprised. It was the first time Sadie had ever been anything but hospitable. “Are you saying you don’t want Cru here?”
“I’m saying I don’t want you hurt. And Cru Cassidy is the type of man who leaves a trail of broken hearts in his wake. If anyone should know that, you should. Especially after what happened to Evie.”
“So Evie did tell you that Cru is Clint’s father.”
The stunned look on Sadie’s face made Penny realize she’d just put her foot in her mouth. “Where in the world did you get that crazy notion?”
“But I thought that’s why you said especially after what happened to Evie.”
“I was talk
ing about your heart being broken when Cru leaves like Evie’s was when her boy left her. But that boy wasn’t Cru Cassidy.”
Penny felt like she’d been tossed off a horse and had all the wind knocked out of her. She stared at Sadie. “But Cru was the only boy who chased after her that summer.”
“He might’ve chased after her, but you should know your sister never did like to be the one getting chased. She wanted to be the chaser. And Cru Cassidy wasn’t the boy she set her sights on.”
Penny felt like she was still asleep and dreaming. “But all the facts point to Cru. She was in love with him. I know she was. When we talked about him, she always agreed that he was funny and charming and handsome. And she kissed him. I saw it with my own two eyes.”
Sadie sent her an exasperated look. “Do we need to have that sex talk again? Because kissing isn’t how you make babies, honey. And while Evie might’ve agreed with you that Cru was handsome and charming, she didn’t think he was as handsome and charming as another boy.”
“But who could be more handsome and charming than Cru?”
Sadie shook her head. “And you said you weren’t infatuated with him. You’re so infatuated you think every other woman is too. But believe me when I tell you, Evie was not in love with Cru.”
If she was going to believe anyone, it would be Sadie. An overwhelming rush of joy filled her. “It isn’t Cru.”
Sadie released an exasperated sigh. “That look on your face is exactly what I was afraid of. Evie falling for a Double Diamond boy is more than enough. I won’t have you falling for one too. Those boys didn’t stay at the ranch because they were a bunch of sweet teenagers who wanted to learn how to cowboy. They were there because they had deep emotional scars and had gotten into some kind of trouble. And as much as I hope all those boys grew up to became law-abiding citizens and successful adults, I’m pretty sure that some of them are still dealing with those emotional scars. Like Cru Cassidy. You can take one look at him and know that boy is still lost.”
