by Katie Lane
“Is that why you’re here? You fought with your father?”
“That and it was about time I moved out.” She waved her in. “Come on in and join me. Reba just brought me a breakfast tray and there’s no way I can eat all these scones by myself.”
Devlin hesitated for only a moment before she stepped in the open French doors with the sunflower. Penny noticed her cowboy boots and smiled. They weren’t a pair she would’ve chosen, but they were much better than spiked heels. Especially for a woman who was a little unstable on her feet.
“I see you got yourself a pair of boots,” she said. “How do you like them?”
“Much more comfortable than heels.” Devlin held up the turquoise boot with the red hearts stitched on the sides. “The salesgirl in Abilene talked me into this color, but now I’m wondering if they’re a little too flamboyant. What do you think?”
“As long as you like them, that’s all that matters.”
Devlin lowered her boot and took a chair, setting the sunflower on the table next to the plate of scones. “Shoes and clothing don’t really matter to me. I joined an online monthly clothing club with a stylist that picks out all my clothing for me. There was no question on the questionnaire asking if I was a klutz. Which is why my stylist keeps sending me high heels.”
“Why don’t you send them back so they’ll know you don’t like them?”
“Because most women my age do love pretty high heels and I was hoping to fit in. In case, you haven’t noticed, I’m a little socially awkward.”
Her blunt honesty made Penny feel even guiltier for being such a jerk to her. “Well, most women around here don’t care about fancy shoes or clothes. They just want you to be yourself.” She picked up the plate of lemon poppy seed scones and offered her one.
“No, thank you. Reba brought me some this morning too and I found them a little dry.” Devlin cringed. “Obviously, being myself is not a good idea. I always say whatever I think without any thought of hurting people’s feelings. I’m sorry. Reba is probably your friend.”
“Actually, she’s is, although she’s closer to my sister. But there’s nothing wrong with stating the truth. While Reba’s cooking is amazing, her baking has always left something to be desired.” She picked up her tea and took a sip. “I have the opposite problem. I’m so worried about hurting people’s feelings I rarely speak the truth. And when I finally do, I end up having to leave the only home I’ve ever known.”
Devlin studied her. “If you could do it again, would you tell the truth or would you continue to hide your feelings?”
It was a good question. One Penny knew the answer to. “I’d probably continue to hide my feelings. I miss the ranch. And I’m terrified of never going back to it.”
“Is it the actual ranch you miss or what it represents? Home. Security. Family.”
Devlin obviously believed in cutting to the chase, and the truthfulness of her words smacked Penny in the face like a hard slap. She wasn’t as scared of never going back to the ranch as she was scared of never feeling the security she’d felt when her mother was alive and she, her father, Evie, and Penny were one big happy family. Since Evie had left, she’d desperately tried to recapture that feeling by trying to get her sister to come back and live at the ranch.
But even when Evie had been living there with Clint, they hadn’t been a happy family. Not when Evie and her father had constantly been battling. Evie had figured out she needed to make a life of her own and move on, while Penny had tried to cling to the ranch and the past like her only lifeline.
Unfortunately, you can’t go back. Even when life doesn’t turn out the way you want it to. Mothers are going to die. Fathers are going to be bullheaded control freaks. Sisters are going to move away. And men you fall in love with are going to break your heart. You can either weather life’s bumps in the road and fight for your future happiness, or you can hide your head and live in the past.
Penny was tired of living in the past.
She got up from the table. “You’re more than welcome to stay and enjoy the garden. But after your wake-up call, I can’t sit here feeling sorry for myself. I’ve got some things I need to do.”
Devlin stood and picked up the sunflower. “A wake-up call? I’m afraid I didn’t leave you a wake-up call. Perhaps Reba did. But I need to go too and stop by the county surveyor’s office. There seems to be some inconsistencies in the map they gave me.”
After Devlin’s earlier confusion about the property lines, Penny wasn’t so sure it had to do with the map as much as Devlin’s sense of direction, but she didn’t point that out.
Devlin moved to the French doors. “Will you be at dinner tonight? Maybe we could sit together. Last night, Reba sat me next to Miss Gertie. And well, she’s kind of . . .”
“Terrifying?” Penny laughed when Devlin hesitantly nodded. “Yeah, she terrifies everyone. And as the oldest resident of Simple, I guess she’s earned the right. But that doesn’t mean I don’t try to hide from her. Save me a seat at supper . . . as far away from her as we can get.”
Devlin smiled brightly. “Okay. I will.”
Once Devlin was gone, Penny took a quick shower and got dressed before she headed to the Gardener Ranch. Since it was well after breakfast, she figured she’d have to hunt her father down. But as soon as she hopped out of the truck, he stepped onto the front porch.
“Well, it’s about time you came to your senses and got back to work,” he said. “All hell broke loose this morning. I had a buyer call me and tell me he’s going with someone else for his beef because he found a better deal. The website you wanted me to pay an arm and a leg for isn’t working. And a ranch hand quit.”
She moved up the steps of the porch. “That does sounds like a bad morning. But in case you don’t remember, I quit yesterday.”
“That’s pure nonsense. You don’t quit your family. You’re just mad at me for not telling you about the energy company contacting me.”
“I was mad, but now I’m not mad as much as resigned to the fact that it’s time for me to go. I love you, Daddy.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “You and Mama gave me the best childhood a girl could ask for. So good that I wanted to hang onto it forever. But little girls have to grow up. It just took me longer than most to figure that out.”
His eyebrows lowered. “You belong here on the ranch.”
“You did convince me of that. You convinced me I wouldn’t be happy anyplace else. But that’s just not true. It’s not true for Evie and it’s not true for me. You remember what Mama used to say? She used to say, ‘Everyone is responsible for their own happiness.’ After she died, I totally forgot her wise words. I thought you and Evie were responsible for my happiness. I thought if I could just get you to stop fighting and get along—if I could just get Evie to move back here and we could live on this ranch together—we’d be that big happy family we used to be before Mama died. But even if you and Evie got along and she and Clint moved back, it still wouldn’t be the same. Because Mama’s gone and Evie grew up. And it’s time for me to grow up too, Daddy. It’s time for me to be my own person and not your shadow that follows you around everywhere.”
For the first time in a long time, she saw a glimmer of regret in her father’s eyes. “If you’re gonna be stubborn about it, I won’t let them drill.”
“It was never about the drilling, Daddy. It was about treating me as an equal.”
“An equal? Of course you’re my equal. You’re a damn good rancher just like your daddy.”
She smiled. “Thank you, but that’s not going to change my mind about leaving. It’s time. It’s time for me to be own person. But it’s not like I’m moving out of the country. Until I figure out what I want to do, I’m staying in Simple and I’ll be by to visit every day. And if you need help, all you have to do is ask.”
His face took on the stubborn look she knew so well. “If you don’t come back now, don’t come back at all.”
She laughed. “The tough cowboy per
sona might keep Evie away, but it won’t keep me. I’ll be back whether you want me or not. I’m your daughter and you won’t get rid of me that easily. Besides, Clint is coming this summer and I’ll want to spend as much time with him as I can.”
His face lit up with surprise. “Clint’s still coming?”
“Yes, but he won’t be staying long if you can’t lighten up a little. You growl too much at him and Evie will take him back to Abilene so fast it will make your head spin.”
He stared down at his scuffed cowboy boots for a few minutes before he nodded. “Thank you. I know you’re the one who talked her into it.”
“Hey, I’m the mediator of the family. It’s my job to try to keep everyone happy. I just have to remember to make myself happy too.”
He lifted his gaze and stared at her with eyes as blue as hers. “You’re just like your mama. She was the peacekeeper. The one who could walk into a room and soften the hardest heart with just a smile.”
It was the best compliment he’d ever given her and she’d take it. “Thank you, Daddy. That means a lot.” She leaned in to give him a hug.
Usually, she did all the hugging. This time, his arms came around her for a tight squeeze. It only lasted a second, but that was enough. “You’ll be back,” he said as he drew away. “Ranching is in your blood.”
It was. But, at least for now, she wouldn’t be ranching here.
She hooked her arm through his. “Come on inside and I’ll take a look at that website. Then we’ll see if we can’t find you another ranch hand. Who quit?”
“Cru Cassidy.”
Everything in Penny froze. “Cru left?”
“I don’t think he’s left yet. He just quit this morning. And if he hadn’t quit, I would’ve fired him. The cocky cowboy had the gall to tell me to stop being a stubborn jackass and apologize to you because I’d never find another ranch manager as good as you are.”
If Penny’s heart hadn’t been hurting so much, she might’ve laughed at the image of Cru telling off her daddy. But Cru leaving was no laughing matter. She released her father’s arm. “I’ll be back. There’s something I need to tell Cru before he goes.”
She found him in the bunkhouse packing a duffel bag that sat on one of the bunks. When he saw her, his hand with the socks in it froze. He looked as sad as she felt. Which should make her feel better, but didn’t.
“You came back,” he said. “That’s good.”
She moved closer, her boot heels echoing on the cement floor. “I’m not staying. I just came to pack the rest of my things.”
“So you aren’t going to work things out with your dad.” He threw the socks into his duffel. “Damn, he’s such a stubborn ass.”
“True, but I’ve come to realize you can’t change people. You can only change yourself.”
He looked at her. “You don’t need to change. You’re perfect the way you are.”
“Thank you, but I’m far from perfect. I’ve spent most of my life trying to make people happy by telling them what they want to hear rather than telling them the truth.” She moved closer. “I made you a promise I had no business making. I promised I wouldn’t let you hurt me. But in order not to get hurt, you have to keep from getting emotionally involved. And I was emotionally involved with you from the moment you rescued me and tried so hard to keep me from feeling embarrassed about being thrown off a horse. That emotion grew when you came back and I got to know the man behind the teen idol face and teasing smile. And I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for falling in love with—”
He cut her off, his eyes pained. “Penny, please stop.”
“No. I can’t keep my emotions bottled up anymore, Cru. I can’t pretend not to be hurt because I don’t want to hurt you. I’m hurt. I’m brokenhearted that you’re leaving. And if that hurts you, then you’ll just have to deal with it. But you need to realize that it’s your choice this time. This time, you’re the one choosing to leave someone who loves you with all her heart.”
She didn’t wait for him to reply before she turned and walked out.
She was through with waiting around for men to show their love. She was ready to be responsible for her own happiness.
Chapter Twenty-One
Cru watched Penny walk out the door and the pain in his chest returned. He wanted to grab his bag and try to outrun it like he always did. But, this time, it didn’t feel like a giant fist squeezing his heart. This time, it felt like someone had pulled his heart right out of his chest and left a big, gaping wound. And all he could do was sink down on the bed and pray that he died quickly and was put out of his misery.
Instead, God sent two demons from hell to harass him.
“You just had to do it, didn’t you, boy?” Chester said. “You just had to charm your way into that little gal’s heart and then break it. If you were fifteen, I’d take you out to the woodshed and paddle your ass. Now, I’m going to have to beat the sass out of you with my fists.”
Lucas snorted. “You couldn’t beat your way out of a paper bag, you old fart. Besides, it already looks like Cru’s been beat. What’s the matter with you, boy? You’re chugging like a steam-engine train after a long haul.”
“I think I’m dying.” Cru closed his eyes and massaged his chest.
The mattress dipped. “And when did you realize this? Was it before or after Penny walked out that door with tears the size of acorns rolling down her cheeks?”
His eyes flashed open. “She was crying?” He sat up and cracked his head on the top bunk, then fell back and covered his face with his hands. “Of course she was crying. I hurt her. I hurt her badly.” He removed his hands and looked at Chester. “Go ahead. Kick my ass. I more than deserve it for breaking her heart. Or better yet, just shoot me and put me out of my misery.”
“Don’t tempt me,” Chester growled.
Lucas got up from the bed. “No one is shooting anyone until Cru explains what happened. Although, now that I see that duffel sitting there, I can probably put two and two together. So you were planning on running off like a sneaky hound dog who just killed all the chickens in the coop?”
That was exactly what he’d plan to do. He’d planned to sneak off without saying goodbye to the Diamond brothers or Penny. And if he’d succeeded, he wouldn’t be sitting there with a hole in his chest the size of Texas trying to explain himself to Chester and Lucas. He’d be on his way to sunny California where the women . . . weren’t anything like a fiery-haired cowgirl with eyes the color of a summer sky.
“I’m not good at goodbyes,” he said as he sat up. “I figured it was best if I just left.”
“That’s a coward’s way out,” Chester said. “Ain’t nobody good at goodbyes, but that doesn’t mean you just run off without saying them. Folks who care about you have a right to a goodbye. Penny had a right to a goodbye. Even if you don’t care about her as much as she cares about you.”
“I care about Penny. I’m not leaving because I don’t feel the same way she does. I’m leaving because I do. Because she deserves better than an orphaned delinquent deadbeat who still doesn’t have his shit together.”
The punch took him completely by surprise. He grabbed his jaw and stared at Lucas who was shaking his hand. “What the hell?”
“Yeah,” Chester said. “I wanted to hit him.”
Lucas didn’t acknowledge his brother. His gaze was pinned on Cru. “Don’t you ever belittle one of my boys in front of me again. Even if it’s you. Now, I realize you haven’t yet reached your full potential, but you are not a deadbeat. A deadbeat wouldn’t stay with a couple of old men and help them out. He wouldn’t sell his fancy car so he could put money in on building them a new house. He wouldn’t work his butt off on a ranch that isn’t even his because he likes a girl and is too stubborn to accept it. Too stubborn to accept what a good man he is.”
Cru released his breath and ran his hands through his hair. “Not good enough for Penny.”
“Shouldn’t she be the one who’s the judge of that?”
“She’s in love. She’s not thinking straight.”
Chester moved closer. “I really do want to punch some sense into you, boy. You should be thanking your lucky stars that she’s in love with you and not thinking straight. Instead, you’re sitting there looking like a whupped pup moaning about how you’re not good enough for her. So get good enough!” He pointed a finger at him. “Because if you let Penny slip through your fingers, it will be the worst day of your life. I should know because I let the love of my life slip through my fingers. Instead of grabbing that woman and making her mine, I was convinced she’d be much better off without a good-for-nothin’ rodeo cowboy like me. And look where that thinking got me.” He nodded at Lucas. “Stuck with this old coot for the rest of my born days. You want that for yourself, boy? You want to spend the rest of your days regretting not grabbing love with both hands when you had the chance?” He kicked Cru’s boot. “If that’s what you choose, you are a deadbeat. Come on, Lucas. We shouldn’t be wasting our time on a fool.”
But Lucas didn’t follow his brother. Instead, he waited for Chester to leave before he released a sigh and moved over to the window. “He’s right, you know. Love shouldn’t be taken for granted. Whenever it’s offered, it should be accepted and cherished like the rare gift it is. Chester isn’t the only one who lost a love he should’ve hung on to with both hands.” He turned to Cru. “I know you had a tough childhood. I know you put on that big smile and act like everything is okay when inside you’re scared to death. It’s okay to be scared, Cru. But it’s not okay to let that fear keep you from living life. Stop using your head and learn to trust your heart. That might be what’s it’s trying to tell you.” He turned and walked out.
Cru lay back down on the bed and covered his eyes with his arm. He felt like he had been in the worst fight of his life. His chest hurt. His jaw throbbed. And his stomach felt like it was going to revolt at any second. He had been so convinced leaving was the right thing to do. But isn’t that what his mother had thought? Hadn’t she thought the right thing to do was to leave? And it hadn’t been. It had been the worst thing for him. And if what she’d said in the letter was true, it had been the worst thing for her as well. What would’ve happened if she had made the decision to stay? What would’ve happened if she’d decided to not give up, but to fight for him? To fight for love?
