by Gail Sattler
“Waut sajst dü?” William stopped, his hammer poised in midair. “Certainly not. There will be hay, and hay can catch fire. You do not want to do that.”
Chad shuddered at the thought of putting his chickens in danger. He would simply find another way to keep them warm at night.
Once more, the curtains next door moved.
He grinned. He didn’t know why she was watching. He was only glad that she was.
Since he definitely had her interest, he was going to have to figure out what to do with it.
14
Anna paused from her data entry and turned her head to look into Chad’s office. Fortunately, he was concentrating on something, so he didn’t notice her watching him, allowing her to continue to watch him as he typed.
Ever since they had started using the new accounting program he’d moved both her desk and William’s. Now, when his office door wasn’t closed, Chad and William could look at each other while they talked without either of them needing to get up. Then, when William wasn’t there, he could do the same with her.
She didn’t know why they couldn’t just pick up the phone, or why he thought it necessary for them to look at each other when they talked. However, since he was the boss, she had to abide by his wishes, and this was his specific request.
He’d said that balancing the phone on his shoulder while he typed and talked was awkward, but Anna had looked in the office supply catalogue earlier this morning. She’d seen a cradle people could put on the phone to balance it comfortably. She didn’t know why Chad didn’t want to do that, although it was rather unsightly when not in use. She’d also seen headsets to make phone calls hands-free, but neither of them spent enough time on the phone to make the expense worthwhile. Therefore, without William there, she and Chad now sat in direct line of each other’s sight if either of them turned away from their computers.
Yet she liked the idea of watching him as he worked. Being a handsome man, he was easy to watch, but since she’d come to know him better she found many of his habits amusing. When he was thinking hard, he tapped his pen to his temple, and when frustrated, he smacked that pen into his open palm. When he thought she wasn’t looking, he moved his coffee cup closer to his keyboard, then moved it back to an acceptable distance before he called her into his office.
Sometimes he smiled as he read something on his computer, and she found herself smiling, too.
This also meant he could watch her when she didn’t know he was watching, and she didn’t like that idea. She had nothing to be ashamed of. She worked hard and always did her best. To do less lacked honor. She just didn’t like being watched.
As guilt crept up on her for doing to him what she didn’t like him doing to her, she returned her concentration to her work. She managed to tune him out with the clacking of the keys as she typed until the phone rang. She put the call through and began to type when Chad’s office door closed.
Her fingers froze over the keyboard. The only reason Chad ever closed his office door was when he had visitors. Even though she never deliberately listened to his telephone calls, she could always hear some of his conversation, unintentionally, of course. Chad closing the door could only mean that he didn’t want her to hear any of his part of the conversation.
It shouldn’t have bothered her, but it did.
It reminded her how little she knew of his life prior to four months ago. For all the time they spent together, she knew very little about his life before the day he got as far as Piney Meadows and ran out of gas on Christmas Eve.
She told herself it didn’t matter how much she knew, or didn’t know, about Chad Jones. As soon as she knew enough to get a good enough job to support herself, she would leave Piney Meadows and Chad behind.
Strange how she didn’t feel as excited about that plan as she did a few months ago.
Just as she started typing again, the door to Chad’s office opened.
He stood in the doorway, looking like he’d just done battle with one of John Penner’s stubborn, old cows, and lost.
“Waut schot die? What is the matter?”
He sighed, then sagged against the doorframe, letting it support his weight. “That was a guy I hired to find my ex-girlfriend after she left me. He reported he still hasn’t, but he’s got a few more things to try. I really thought he should have found her by now. I thought once she heard through mutual acquaintances that I’d moved out of town, she’d start getting sloppy. But she hasn’t.”
Anna didn’t know much about his situation; he’d been very silent about his life before he moved to Piney Meadows. He said very little about the friends he’d left behind, and even less of his ex-girlfriend. She only knew they’d had a rough breakup. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he had been hurt deeply. “Sloppy?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “She’s being careful so I don’t find her.”
A chill coursed through her. She didn’t think Chad was capable of doing something horrible to a woman, yet this woman would have to have a very good reason for making sure Chad couldn’t find her. Anna had heard in the cities some men were physically violent with women they supposedly loved. She couldn’t see Chad being that way. Despite his large size, he was a very gentle man. She’d seen him with his chickens when he didn’t know she was watching. Last Saturday had been a warm spring day, and after they had finished building the Poultry Palace, as William had called it, he’d taken the chickens into his backyard to test it. She’d been very surprised to see that instead of running around the yard, the chickens followed him to the coop. Then, instead of nudging them inside and closing the door, he’d picked up both chickens, cradling them in his arms. Neither chicken had fought or squirmed to escape. Unless she had imagined it, they’d both leaned into him as he carried them inside the coop. Then he sat on the ground and released them. He’d remained seated within the fenced area while the chickens explored the pen, then walked up the ramp into the nesting area. After a few minutes, the chickens walked down the ramp, at which time he’d stood and walked back into the house, again with the chickens trailing behind him like baby ducks after their mother.
If he could be so gentle with chickens, she couldn’t see him being any different with a woman he loved.
Yet, she really didn’t know. It was probably not her place to ask, and part of her was afraid of the answer he might give, but she had to know.
She gulped. “Is she frightened of you?”
Chad shook his head without hesitation. “Of course not. There’s something I need to work out with her, and she doesn’t want to talk about it.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a second, then inhaled deeply. When he opened his eyes, they became unfocused as he spoke. “But I have to.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he stiffened, and she could see him closing up. It made her think that in a moment of weakness he’d said more than he wanted her to know. She didn’t know why that hurt, only that it did.
He pushed himself away from the doorway, swiped his palms down the sides of his pants, then stood very straight. “I need a cup of coffee, and I need to go get it myself.”
Anna watched as he returned to his office, picked up his cup, gulped down the last sip of what was left, turned, and left the room.
She would respect his need to be alone. She’d never seen such raw emotion in a man as she had for that split second. His moment of sorrow tore at her heart. She hated to see him in such a state. If he later came to her because he needed to talk more, she would listen as a friend.
But in the meantime, she needed to distract herself, not dwell on her boss, the man from the cities. She was here to work, and so she would.
Chad’s hands shook as he poured himself a new cup of coffee.
Thankfully, no one was in the room to see.
He shook his head, then sank into one of the empty chairs in the lonely room.
Of course, no one was here. It wasn’t lunchtime. He’d never seen a group of people like this. When it was time to work, they worked. There was no g
oofing around and no slacking. Ever. No one was ever late, and no one ever tried to sneak home early. No one ever took off sick time when they weren’t really sick. The expression “doing an honest day’s work” took on a whole new meaning here.
He’d never met such honest and trustworthy people in his life.
Chad stared out the window, blankly watching a bird landing on a tree branch.
He was the least honest person here. Not with his actions or his work, but with his words.
Not that he was lying, but evading the truth was next to it.
He lowered the steaming mug to the table, rested his elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands.
He’d been honest with Anna about Brittany leaving him, but not entirely about why. In fact, every time the subject of his prior living arrangements came up, he’d avoided that, too.
None of these good, honest people knew that not only was Brittany his girlfriend, she was his fiancée and they’d been living together. The reason he had to move out of his apartment was because Brittany’s name was on the lease. He’d moved in with her because her place had been larger than his when they decided to live together.
In hindsight, he now knew moving in with her had been a huge mistake. She’d used all her feminine wiles to draw him in, and it had worked. Now he wasn’t sure he’d really been in love with her in the first place. Sure, he’d asked her to marry him, but if he had to be honest, it was more infatuation than the I-love-you-until-the-end-of-time kind of feelings he should have had. As the engagement drew out longer and longer, he’d started to have doubts about their future together. When he mentally stepped back to analyze their relationship, he learned he didn’t love her enough to spend a lifetime together. In fact, in the last few months of their relationship he’d felt them drifting apart, and it should have hurt much more than it had. He’d been ready to end the engagement the next time she delayed setting a date.
Until he found the discarded pregnancy kit and saw the blue stripe. They’d always been careful with birth control, but apparently they’d been in that low percentage of failure, and now had to deal with a baby on the way. He didn’t love her, but he did want to do the right thing. So he’d demanded she finally set a wedding date, and soon. She said she’d think about it.
That Friday, when he’d come home from work, Brittany, all of her stuff, and a lot of his, was gone.
Most men in his situation probably would have felt relieved, but he didn’t. A life was in the process of creation, and he was the father. He was glad he knew Brittany well enough to know she’d never get an abortion. Regardless of the status of his relationship with the mother, he wanted to be a viable part of the life of that child—the child of his genes. He would not be an absentee or deadbeat dad. Of course, now that he had chosen to live so far away from Minneapolis, it wasn’t as if he would be able to see his son or daughter every day, but he did not intend to be an every-second-weekend father. With the way these people were here, the way they valued family, hearth, and home, he probably could ask someone like Lois to babysit during the day while he was at work, and he could have his son or daughter live with him every second week and weekend. Brittany would have to put the baby into daycare when she went back to work, and there was no reason he couldn’t do the same. Unlike a place Brittany could afford on a single salary, the house he had was certainly big enough to sustain a family of a wife and children, plus a dog, and the chickens.
Except nothing was the way it was supposed to be.
Here, there were no single fathers. There weren’t even any single mothers. Everyone single lived with their parents until their wedding day. The one couple he’d heard about who got pregnant before they were married eloped and moved to Minneapolis because they couldn’t face the community’s disapproval, even though they did get married before the baby was born.
No one here would approve of the relationship he’d had with Brittany, especially since he and Brittany would never be married.
Chad lowered his hands, leaned back, let his head fall back on the top of the chair, and stared up at the ceiling tiles.
Obviously, Brittany didn’t want him to be part of his child’s life. Not only had she left him, she was hiding from him. Even a paid PI couldn’t find her.
All he had to do was tell the agency to drop it, and he could go on with his life as if it had never happened. But he couldn’t.
He was going to be a father. He’d created a life that was precious in the sight of God.
Chad squeezed his eyes shut. In many ways, he’d felt God finally giving him a break since he came here, but today, he’d felt God step back again, leaving him alone at a time when he needed God the most.
He’d seen the look on Anna’s face. He knew he wasn’t hiding his feelings well, and she knew something was wrong. As always, Anna was kind and gracious. He could see the kindness in her eyes, and he felt the warmth in her soul.
But he couldn’t tell her what was tearing him apart inside.
He hadn’t known her long, but they spent most of their time in each other’s company. They walked to work together, spent the day together, and walked home together. Often he ate at her home with her entire family, and then they went out together to either a Bible study or a young adults evening.
Every day he saw her, he liked her a little more than the day before. He had a bad feeling he could even be falling in love with her. Real love. Not the way he felt with Brittany. The true, real thing.
In fact, life would be so much better if maybe she could fall a little in love with him, too.
Maybe it could happen. He’d seen the way she’d looked at him a few nights ago when he walked her to her door. He’d felt like kissing her good night, and he had a feeling she would have let him.
But first, he had to be honest with her and tell her that he was an expectant father.
When he did, in an instant, everything she felt about him would change, and he didn’t want that to happen. He couldn’t handle seeing the disapproval and disappointment in her expressive eyes.
Chad sucked in a deep breath, stood, picked up his mug, and began walking back to his office.
He didn’t want to tell her, but he had to.
He just couldn’t do it today.
As he passed her desk, he did his best to smile before he sat down and returned to his work. Here, he couldn’t allow himself to wallow in his personal problems. He was going to be the best boss they could have, and he was going to work for them with the same dedication they gave to him. He was on the verge of getting a big contract for the company, and he was going to use everything in him to get it. He couldn’t be the person these good people deserved, but he could be the manager they needed. And maybe, just maybe, God could honor that.
15
Remaining seated in the pew, Anna smiled. Chad complained loudly, and often, about the lack of computers and how no one had any home access to the Internet or e-mail, but it didn’t stop or slow the flow of communication in Piney Meadows. Friday night at the ladies’ meeting Anna had asked for prayer for Chad, and today, both before and after the worship service, he’d been continuously surrounded by people.
She hoped it would cheer him up. All week long, he hadn’t been his usual self. She didn’t know what was wrong, but whatever it was, he’d been uncharacteristically solemn, and even sad. But what really disturbed her was the change in his work habits. He was a diligent and hard worker, but suddenly he became almost obsessive. Even William noticed a change, which said a lot, because William was now only there a few hours a day, three days a week.
The only time Chad seemed relaxed was after lunch. For the past week, since it was now the middle of May and warmer outside, he had jogged home during the lunch break to put his chickens into their coop, so they could be outside for the warm part of the day. Because they were only six weeks old, he took them back into the house before the temperature started to cool for the evening. Anna had expected him to complain when she knew they would be ho
pping out of the box in the kitchen at night, yet he never did.
All week long, even though she’d kept herself available for the time he was ready to talk, it never happened. She could only conclude, since he became moody after the call from the detective who could not find his ex-girlfriend, that the change was related to him being single and alone because the detective couldn’t locate Brittany. In preparation to pray for him, she had told the group as little as she possibly could without betraying his confidence. The best she’d been able to come up with was to ask for prayer for him because he was struggling with being alone.
As she continued to watch, the crowd around him thinned until all those who now surrounded Chad were the mothers of single young ladies. To the side, all the young ladies stood watching, anxiously waiting to see which invitation to lunch Chad would accept.
To Anna’s dismay, her own mother was not in the group. However, her mama didn’t need to vie for his attention. Typically, Chad joined them for supper two or three days a week. They were past the point where he needed an invitation, although he never came without one.
Until now, Chad had accepted invitations only from Leonard and Lois, whose daughters were no longer single, and from her own mama and papa, with both herself and her sesta Sarah still not spoken for. She’d sustained repeated resentment from the other ladies, even though she couldn’t count the times she’d assured them neither she nor Sarah was seeking Chad’s attention—at least not in that way.
Friday night, during the time for sharing prayer requests, when she’d asked the group to pray for Chad, she’d again confirmed her relationship was only as his secretary, or rather, as he insisted, his administrative assistant. Once she’d reassured them, again, the talk had started. Since he had now been living in Piney Meadows for six months, everyone had plenty of opportunity to observe him during the Sunday worship services and at both the regular and young adult Bible study group meetings. During the sharing time, Chad didn’t say much, but he always listened, and watching him make his sloppy notes in his Bible had become very entertaining. When he first began attending there hadn’t been a single note or highlight in his Bible. He’d explained that he’d never written in his Bible before because he thought it was not allowed. Even though he was not one of them, he had slowly gained almost everyone’s approval and had become accepted as a Christian brother among them. Since there were more single ladies than single men, the mamas had now officially added him to the bachelor pool.
