by S R Watson
Chapter Nineteen
Harlow
The last few days with Phoenix have been amazing. We sneak little kisses in when nobody is watching or early morning touching before everyone else gets up. Our constant flirting is giving me a blue vagina, though. Still, I appreciate the time we get. This is the Phoenix that I fell for—the tender moments that eradicate witnessing him being a manwhore. Although, we haven’t put a label on what we’re doing, it feels like old times. We’re teetering on dangerous ground, but I have never felt more alive. I’m addicted to this feeling—this high. I’m addicted to him, and I can finally admit that to myself.
He is in his bunk above mine now, but since Asher is in his with Lily right across from us, I don’t make any attempts to mess with him. His phone rings, and I hear him answer.
“Yeah, Sevyn. What’s up, man?” Phoenix lowers his voice, but I can still hear him. “What? I wonder how in the hell they found out? This is good, though, right?” He pauses, and I wish I could hear what is being said. I know I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but something is up. “Okay. Look into it and let me know when you have something,” he finishes before ending the call.
“Everything all right?” Asher questions from across the way.
“Just peachy,” Phoenix remarks. He hops from his bunk when the bus begins to come to a stop, and I see that he is shirtless. I watch his muscles flex as he pulls a T-shirt from the place he was just lying and slips it over his head. I want to sneak in a touch so bad. I need to tide over this hunger for him. He looks down at me and smirks. Handsome Fucker. I stick my tongue out at him.
“Give your girl a breather and come rehearse slacker,” he tells Asher. He walls off, but not before winking at me. I swear it’s one of his hottest Phoenixisms. That and his signature smirk. Asher kisses Lily before he gets up to follow Phoenix, and a pang of jealousy hits me. I wish we could be just as open. I’d be lying if I said I wasn't envious of his relationship with Lily. Those two are so perfect for one another. As soon as he is out of sight, she comes over to my bunk.
“Want to watch some reality TV and make fun of the stupid crap they do?” I’m caught up on homework, and I’ve already written some for the book. I don’t watch television that often, but a distraction is in order.
“Sure. I need your help with this grocery list first, if you don’t mind. Asher asked if we could get the stuff on the list they made while they rehearse,” Lily mentions. “The list is not too bad.”
.
“You know I don’t mind. It’ll help cut the time in half if we split the list.” I’m already out of my bunk. “So, they’re not getting off the bus at all?” We’ve haven’t reached our next scheduled stop, but sometimes Gus and Stewart will stop to take a break from driving and allow us to get things we need.
“Yeah. They’re getting off to rehearse on Wild Silence’s bus,” Lily says. She’s looking through the refrigerator to see if the guys forgot to put anything on the list. She writes some things on the paper she has in her hand while I peek out of the window. The guys are already gone.
I see the sleek black bus parallel to ours. Both buses purposely leave off any identifying signage revealing who’s inside. The other bus is always either in front or behind us, but Wild Silence is rarely on it. They travel by flight and stay in hotels mostly. Their bus just carries their equipment to each tour stop.
“I bet the interior of their bus is even nicer than this one,” I say, still staring out the window.
“I’m sure it is. It’s the party bus.” Lily pauses and tries to change the subject. “Are you ready to go?”
“What do you mean by party bus?” I’m not letting her off the hook. Apparently, Asher shares with her way more than he does with me. She looks at me hesitantly. “Spill it, Lily.”
“Sometimes the guys get off the bus, Harlow. We stop long enough for them to get on the other bus before we start moving again. That’s where all the groupie shit happens. Since the other band is rarely on there, it’s a place for them to be wild without subjecting us to their sexual conduct.”
My jaw drops in shock. I think back to all the times the bus seemed empty, but I just naively assumed that they were up front or in their bunks. “Asher told you all of this?” I question.
“Yeah. I only know because I woke up in the middle of the night, and he was nowhere to be found. I didn’t understand since we were still moving. When I messaged him, he told me he was on the other bus. I made him come clean about what was going on. He promised me that he didn’t do anything. He was just hanging with the guys. He even said he wouldn’t go back on there if I didn’t want him too.”
“Why would you keep this from me?” Our guys have been creeping out at night for some extracurricular activity and I didn’t even know about it. We’ve been on the road for a few weeks now, and I didn’t think the guys were living out the full experience. I thought they were keeping things tame for our sake, and they were. They just moved shit to another bus. Well played, Asher. I know he’s behind this. “Lily?”
“I’m sorry, Harlow. It really has been a while since the guys visited the other bus. Last night was the first time since before our conversation.” Then it hits me. What’s she’s not saying.
“Phoenix went on the other bus last night? After I was asleep?” She was referring to the conversation when she said she would cover for Phoenix and me if needed. The fact that she didn’t say anything means she thinks he was screwing someone else on that bus.
“I’m sure it was nothing,” she explains. “It’s just their time away from the estrogen on this bus.”
“Really? Did Asher go too?” She shakes her head no, and I can feel my face getting hot. Phoenix has been flirting with me like crazy. The sexual tension between us has been off the charts, only he’s had a way to release his. Why wouldn’t he fuck someone else? I want to storm that other bus and demand he tell me what game he’s playing. He sang that fucking song for me and gets me all emotionally invested again to go do God knows what on the fucking groupie bus. Tears stream down my face, and I don’t bother wiping them away. “You should have told me, Lily. I thought you said that I had you. I thought you said you were my friend.”
“That’s not fair. I’m your friend.” She tries to reach for me, but I step back. “You don’t know if anything happened. Wild Silence is on the bus, so maybe they just hung out last night.”
“So why didn’t Asher go? Answer that. He didn’t want to piss you off because I’m sure he knew exactly what was going down on the other bus. My God. Fucking Ivy is over there. The one person who has made it known that she fucked Phoenix.” My tears fall harder at the cracking of my voice. I feel so stupid right now.
“Please, Harlow—” Lily tries, but I flip her off. A real friend wouldn’t let me look stupid.
“Go to the store by yourself. Ask Gus or Stewart to help you. I’m done.”
I don’t stick around for her response. I leave her standing there. I retreat to the bedroom and slam the door. Once I’m behind closed doors, I allow myself to fall apart. It’s true what they say about highs. What goes up eventually comes down—except I’ve fucking come crashing down. Now I’ve trapped myself in the very room with all of our damn memories. I take a seat on the floor on the other side of the bed and bring my knees to my chest. Sobs wrack my body from the unfairness of it all. I know I can’t expect him to wait around for me when there is an invitation to pussy right on the next bus.
I don’t know how long I’m on the floor, bawling my eyes out before there is a bang on the door. “Harlow, open this damn door.” It’s Phoenix. So now Lily decides to have a big mouth. I don’t move from my spot here on the floor, nor do I answer him. “I swear I will break this fucking door down. Either open it now, or we’ll both have some explaining to do—your choice.”
I don’t know what all Lily told him, but he has some nerve. Fuck him. If he wants in here so bad, then so be it. I’ll leave. I pull myself off the floor and open the door. I try to storm
past him, but he pushes his way in and slams the door behind him.
“What the fuck? You got something you want to ask me?” he huffs. He’s pissed, but so am I.
“I don’t have shit to ask you,” I retort. I try again to move past him, but he grabs me by the wrists.
“I’m not going to let you fucking do this. Not this time.” His eyes pin me to the spot.
“Not going to let me do what, Phoenix?” Fresh tears trail down the path of the dried ones. I see his eyes soften, but I don’t want his pity.
“Run. I’m not going to let you run from me again. Since you won’t ask, then I’ll tell you. Yes. I joined the guys on the other bus last night. We just talked shit and hung out. Yes, there was groupie pussy in the mix, but I didn’t partake. Ivy didn’t join the guys until this morning, but even if she had been on the bus, I wouldn’t have fucked her either. Don’t you get it yet?” He wipes my tears and kisses me softly on the lips. I want to hold on to the anger. Deep down, I feel like he’s telling me the truth, so why is it so hard to let it go? “I know what you need,” he whispers.
He tries to deepen the kiss, but I don’t let him in. He steps back and pulls his shirt off over his head. My traitorous eyes peruse his body. He takes my hands and puts them on the button of his jeans after he locks the door.
“Take what’s yours, Harlow. Free your cock, baby. It’s been waiting for you and only you.” His words shatter my resolve. My nimble fingers undo the button. I don’t even ask about the guys. I don’t care if we get caught. I need this hurt to go away. I unzip him and free his already hard cock from confinement. As usual, he’s commando. The urge to take him into my mouth is the same every time I get a look at how beautiful it is. I drop to my knees, but he pulls me back up. “I said I know what you need. Let me show you.”
When I don’t move, he begins to undress me slowly. It doesn’t take him long to rid me of my ratty T-shirt and leggings. I try to help him by removing my panties and bra, but he stills my hands. “What—” I begin, and he silences me with a single finger to my lips.
“Leave them. I like the white lace. So innocent looking, but what I want to do to you is anything but.” He smirks wickedly. “Get on the bed. I’m going to fuck any doubt you may have right out of your mind.” He’s standing there with his jeans open and his hand around his cock. He strokes himself, and I’m hypnotized by the act. It’s so fucking hot. I get on the bed, getting wetter by the minute watching him. “Now lie back and massage your clit. I want to see you play.”
I don’t know if I can do this. He wants to watch me masturbate? “Come on, baby,” I hear him say. His voice encourages me to let go, so I lay back and close my eyes. “That’s it.” His lust spurs me on. My hands inch toward the spot where he wants them. I’ve never had an audience, so I’m a little nervous. I rub my clit slowly, trying to think about Phoenix’s eyes on me. With my own eyes closed, I try to imagine that I’m alone in this room.
“Mmmm,” I moan. With each pass of my finger, it becomes slicker.
“Holy fuck, baby,” Phoenix growls. “I thought I could just watch for a bit but, fuck, I can’t.” He peels off his jeans, and in an instant, my legs surround his waist. He slams into me, and there is no build-up. He fucks me savagely, driving deeper with each stroke. He leans down and takes my mouth in a punishing kiss as we both race toward our orgasms. I palm his ass to make him go even deeper.
“Phoeeeenix...” I come so hard around his cock that I milk his release from him too. I can feel him throbbing inside me. My legs begin to tremble, and it’s as if my orgasm rolls on and on. We lay there motionless for several minutes with him still inside. When he finally pulls out, I feel bereft. I want to hold on to this moment. I don’t want to go back to pretending for the guys. I grab his arm, and I know he feels it too.
“I have to go, baby. Lily convinced the guys that they had too much shit on their list for her to get after she texted me and told me that you were upset. I knew she was creating a window for us to talk,” Phoenix shares.
“Except we haven’t gotten much talking done,” I point out. I may have been a little hard on Lily. It’s like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop—waiting for Phoenix to grow bored with the secrecy and move on. I took that out on her because I couldn’t address the real issue.
“Didn’t need much talking. All you need to know is that you don’t have anything to worry about. I’m not labeling anything, but I only want you. My dick wants you, too, so I’ll just let him do the talking for now,” he jokes. “But seriously, I need to get back to the store before they start checking out. Can I get you anything?”
“Nope. I’m good. I just got what I wanted,” I assure him. This is what I needed. I needed his reassurance. We don’t have to put a title on it. Knowing that he wants me is enough. I’m okay with taking things slow. Our past makes it hard to trust, but if we’re meant to be together, it will happen. For now, I just want this with him. Whatever “this” is.
“Good. No doubts, okay? If anything ever changes, I’ll let you know. What I want is on this bus not the other way around,” he assures. He kisses me on the forehead before cleaning himself up in the bathroom. When he leaves, I go and draw myself a bath. I’m not ready to leave our bubble.
Chapter Twenty
Phoenix
I’m helping the guys put the groceries away when I look over at the television and see my face on it. Not only mine, but Sevyn is right next to me on the screen. What the fuck?
“Hey, turn that up,” Asher tells Harlow, who is closest to the television. I can’t find my fucking phone fast enough to call Sevyn. It rings in my hand as I pull it out of my pocket. I see that he is calling me.
“Are you watching the news?” I ask before he can get any words out.
“Yeah. I don’t know what to do. It’s all out, man. The whole fucking plan,” he swears.
“Where are you now?” I have to think of something quick. I’m only catching the end of the news, but I know it’s bad. The fucking headlines read Twins plotting to takeover Beck Investments. How in the hell did this get out?
“I had just left the office. I can’t go back now. Our father is due back tomorrow, and I pretty sure he has already gotten the call,” Sevyn says. “What the hell are we going to do?”
“Right now, we need to just get you here. Don’t go back to the office, and don’t say shit to anyone. Stay away from the reporters.” We decide that he is going to meet us in Houston since we’re almost there. We’re supposed to have a show there tomorrow night.
“What the hell is going on?” Ren asks once I end the call with my brother.
I have no choice but to try to fix this. I have to come clean because now my face is all over the media. I don’t know how much of our plan is blown, but I have to get in front of this.
“Sevyn and I had a plan to take over our father’s company,” I begin, and the room goes quiet. Killian turns off the TV.
“Tell us everything, man,” he encourages. I don’t want to keep telling my fucked-up story, but they’re involved now. I’ve brought the band into this mess. I sit down on the sofa, and they take seats around me. I know I need to come clean now, but I hate reliving this shit. I hate having to tell them I’m the fucking son that Claude didn’t want—the fuck up that couldn’t do anything right. I don’t want to admit I got thrown out on my ass at the age of seventeen. It fucking destroyed me. The D/s shit that Melissa introduced me to saved my life. I was able to take control of my life back. It kept me from acting out, getting into drugs or gangs. I had another outlet. They don’t need to know all of that, but this whole fucking story takes me back to a place I don’t want to visit.
I sit here with my head in my hands. Just thinking about this shit being exposed for the world to see has me seeing red. I don’t need people’s fucking judgments or pity. My eyes are closed, but I can feel them waiting for me to tell them what’s going on.
Then I feel her hands on my back. The gesture is simple yet comfortin
g. “Let’s give him some time, guys. He’ll tell us when he’s ready,” I hear Harlow say. “Phoenix, you don’t have to do this now. We can wait.” She knows some of the story but not all of it. I didn’t tell her about Melissa or the plan I had in place with my brother. All she knows about is the abandonment part. I don’t say shit. I just sit there, unable to move. The weight of my reality sits heavy on my shoulders.
“I agree,” Lily seconds.
“We’ll be back. Come on, Phoenix,” she says, pulling me up. I let her, but then I try to release her hand. I don’t think she realizes how this looks.
“It’s okay, Harlow. I just need a minute.” I try again to remove my hand from hers, but she clenches tighter.
“Nonsense—” she insists, but Asher cuts her off.
“Harlow, what are you doing? He’s telling you nicely that he needs a minute. Let him go.” She drops my hand, and her gaze falls to the floor.
“Sorry,” she says softly. “I was just trying to be a friend.”
“You’re fine. Thank you, but I just need a breather. That’s all. Fuck it, though.” I need to get the attention off Harlow and myself. Her open concern for me just cast suspicion overs us. I see it in Asher’s questioning stare. If I leave this room and she follows me, we’re busted.
I divulge my freaking teen years that helped to form my demons. I tell them about Claude giving Sevyn controlling shares of the company and our plan to share ownership. I wasn’t going to leave the band. We just wanted to own the company equally. I tell them everything with the exception of Melissa and the role she plays in all of this.
