Just when fatigue was calling for Alex to return back to the comfort of her bed in her dorm room, she spotted the back of a familiar-looking head in the middle of making out with someone. Her manners dulled, Alex tapped the head on the shoulder, and Ashley turned to look up at her friend.
Ashley giggled cheekily at having been caught making out with a guy. Alex briefly glanced at the guy; he was blond with blue eyes and perfectly chiselled cheeks. He was definitely cute.
“Alex, this is Brad,” Ashley offered by way of introduction. “He’s a lacrosse player,” she added proudly.
“I’m going to head back,” Alex said, her speech slurred.
“Okay, yeah, me too.” Ashley untangled herself from a disappointed-looking Brad and stood beside her friend.
“Want me to walk you girls back?” he offered with a cheeky spark in his eye.
“No, we’re fine,” Ashley answered with certainty.
“You sure? Campus is quite a walk from here.”
“Maybe next time.” Ashley threw him a flirty smile.
“Okay, well, you’ve got my number.” Brad smiled.
Ashley gave him a small wave and then pulled Alex out of the house into the cool night air.
On hitting the fresh air, Alex suddenly felt extremely sick.
“Oh, wait, no you don’t.” Ashley propped an arm around Alex to hold her up. “No being sick. Not on your first night, it just won’t do.”
“I can’t believe you were making out with that guy!” Alex laughed as she hobbled awkwardly against her friend.
“He’s hot, isn’t he?” Ashley grinned.
“I’m tired.”
“Me too.”
“I like being a schudent.” Alex was struggling to pronounce her words.
“Yeah, me too. I think we’re going to have a lot of fun together.” Ashley smiled.
****
Alex grimaced and recoiled beneath her blanket as sunlight seared against the back of her eyelids.
“Rise and shine!” Ashley ordered, her voice unnaturally sharp.
“What, no!” Alex protested, pulling herself into a protective ball.
“Sorry, Sleeping Beauty, but we’ve got to be at the Kappa Pi house for ten. We’re pledging today, remember?”
Alex had a vague recollection of the conversation they’d had about joining a sorority.
“Go shower, and you’ll feel much better, I promise,” Ashley said warmly.
“Can you at least close the curtains?” Alex pleaded.
“No.”
****
Standing in the hallway of the Kappa Pi house, showered and in fresh clothes, Alex didn’t feel all that much better. She felt sick and exhausted all at the same time, but she was doing her best to focus on the immaculately dressed member of Kappa Pi who was strutting before the line-up of twenty-two girls who had turned up that morning to pledge.
“We are only taking twelve pledges,” declared one girl. She was tall and elegant, with her black hair in a neat bun at the nape of her neck. She wore a pleated white skirt and a bright green polo shirt that was emblazoned in pink with the sorority logo. She looked achingly perfect.
“It’s my job as pledge chair to decide who we want,” she continued. She spoke slowly and with confidence.
“So for the next few weeks, it’s me, Taylor Patterson, who you guys need to be sucking up to. The rest of the house doesn’t want your home-baked cookies, flowers or even tickets to the opera. Bribes are forbidden, remember that. At Kappa Pi we pride ourselves on following the rules.”
If Alex had thought that the fraternity house was impressive, then she hadn’t been prepared for the sheer wonder of a sorority house. Everything inside was immaculate. From the hardwood floors to the pristine magnolia walls. Pictures of previous alums were scattered on the walls along with the sorority emblem. It felt like a sumptuous home rather than a student dwelling.
“As you of course know, our previous alumni have gone on to be CEOs of great corporations, media executives, surgeons and congresswomen. At Kappa Pi we want girls who are driven and dedicated in achieving their goals.”
Beside Alex, Ashley stood listening intently. She’d dressed in a blue tennis dress and looked equally as immaculate as Taylor Patterson. You’d never have guessed that Ashley had been out partying the previous night. In comparison Alex felt like a mess. She’d pulled on some jeans and an old T-shirt as Ashley was cajoling her out of their dorm room. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun. She didn’t look like Kappa Pi material.
Taylor went through the line-up of girls, asking them to state their name, their major and why they would be a key asset to the house.
“What do I say?” Alex whispered nervously to Ashley as other girls in the line confidently introduced themselves.
“Mention being head cheerleader,” Ashley whispered back.
Alex frowned to herself. She wasn’t comfortable using something that didn’t really feel like a true reflection of her as currency to gain access to the sorority. She wanted to do things at Princeton on her terms.
“And you,” Taylor was now standing before Ashley, having already assessed her outfit and given a nod of approval.
“Ashley Castennetta, majoring in political studies, and I’m a legacy.”
“A legacy, nice.” Taylor gave another approving nod.
“And you.” She stood before Alex and waited.
Alex took a quick intake of nervous breath. “Alexandra Heron, majoring in mathematics, and I’m a classically trained violinist.”
“Violin?” Taylor smiled slightly at this. “I played cello.”
She moved straight on to the next girl, leaving Alex unsure if she’d done enough to impress the pledge chair and gain access to Kappa Pi.
“You play the violin?” Ashley whispered, sounding impressed.
“I used to,” Alex answered modestly.
“Awesome.”
Taylor’s decision about the twelve girls who would be allowed to pledge was both swift and brutal. She called a dozen names, the girls whose names she didn’t call had to leave immediately. Alex felt as though she were a part of some daytime reality show. There were even tears from those who didn’t make the cut.
But both Ashley and Alex had made it through. Ashley squeezed Alex’s hand with excitement as they stood in a now much smaller line.
“So you will be our pledges,” Taylor welcomed them. “Despite what you will undoubtedly hear around campus regarding rush, we don’t make our pledges suffer. If you keep your grades up and attend our social events, chances are you’ll become a part of the sorority officially before spring.”
Some of the girls clapped excitedly at this.
“Remember that as much fun as college life is, not to lose focus on your studies, as they are, after all, the reason you are all here,” Taylor told the younger students sagely.
Finally dismissed, Alex realized just how tired she was. As she and Ashley began to walk back towards campus, she yawned and stretched, desperate to get back into her bed. It was infinitely more comfortable than the bunk she’d been sleeping on in the trailer.
“I need a nap,” Alex noted sleepily.
Ashley didn’t respond; she was busy texting on her phone.
“Who are you texting?” Alex asked.
“Brad.” Ashley giggled girlishly. “Fancy going to a party tonight?”
****
Alex awoke to find her head throbbing and her mouth as dry as sandpaper. Stretching out from beneath the covers, she found that her entire body ached, each limb protesting every time she moved it.
Groaning, she forced herself to sit up and try to get her bearings. Bright light filtered in beneath the curtains, and she could already feel that the air outside was hot and heavy. Glancing round, she fixed on the alarm clock beside her bed and was shocked to find that it was eleven in the morning.
As the fog of sleep began to clear, Alex felt a panicked sensation rising up from the base of her spine. She’d been d
ue to attend her first class that morning.
She tried to assure herself that she had gotten her days mixed up, that actually classes started the following day. Rummaging frantically through her backpack, she found her class schedule, and as she read it, the panic intensified and was joined by a sinking feeling in her stomach.
Alex’s first class was that morning at ten. She was already an hour late for a two-hour class and had yet to shower and change. Looking back at her bed, she wanted nothing more than to hide beneath her duvet and wish her day away. But then as she looked at her bed, she saw the picture of her father smiling proudly beside it. He’d want Alex to do her best, not throw away such an amazing opportunity to study and learn.
Begrudgingly, Alex grabbed her shower kit and headed for the communal bathroom.
****
With her hair still damp Alex pulled on some jeans and a T-shirt, hurriedly filling her backpack with anything she might need for her class. It was then that she noticed that Ashley was still nestled within her bed, oblivious of the day she was rapidly sleeping through.
“Come on, lazybones!” Alex declared, her voice annoyingly loud and bright as she pulled the pink duvet off her roommate’s bed.
The moment the duvet had been moved, Alex froze in shameful shock. Ashley was not alone in her bed. Brad was curled up beside her, completely naked.
Panicked, Alex threw the cover back over them.
“Sorry!” she mumbled, turning crimson.
“Is it morning?” Ashley asked groggily, rubbing at her eyes. Brad hadn’t stirred.
“Yeah, it’s like eleven.” Alex sighed. “I’m late for class.”
“Don’t sweat it. First class doesn’t count.” Ashley smiled.
Alex wasn’t sure if she agreed but didn’t have the time to argue about it. “Do you have class?” Alex asked.
“Not ’til three.”
“Lucky for you, then.”
“Yep.” Ashley yawned and stretched.
Alex hovered nervously at the end of the bed. She didn’t like the thought of entering her class so late. Everyone would look at her like she was some lazy, rebellious student. While that had been the persona she wanted to project at Woodsdale, it certainly wasn’t how she wanted to be seen at Princeton.
“Tell them you got lost,” Ashley offered, noticing Alex’s troubled expression.
“For over an hour?” Alex didn’t sound convinced.
“Yeah, it’s a big campus, you’re new. I bet it happens loads.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I’m always right, don’t worry,” Ashley joked. “Good luck with your class.”
“Good luck with yours later.” Alex smiled.
“We’ll regroup here this evening,” Ashley declared. “First I need to sneak Brad out of here. We aren’t supposed to have boys stay over, but where’s the fun in that?” she asked cheekily.
“I wonder if he’d fit out the window?” Ashley mused while Alex headed out the door and into the corridor.
****
After easily locating her class, Alex paused outside, reconsidering the plausibility of her excuse that she’d gotten lost.
She waited uneasily by the door, palms sweating as she contemplated her options. She knew that she had to go in; she was just terrified of all the eyes that would suddenly turn her way when she did.
Finally, an invisible force seemed to propel Alex forward, and she was within the classroom before she had a chance to consider retreat.
The classroom was immensely larger than any she had encountered at Woodsdale. Instead of individual desks, students sat in tiered rows, almost as if in a theater, with small, fold-out desks to work on.
At the front of the room a middle-aged man in a camel-colored vest used a pointer to emphasize a point within the presentation he was showing. As the lights were dimmed for the presentation, it gave Alex a slight cloak as she entered the room.
She could feel people’s eyes upon her as they turned to look and silently judge her tardiness. She forced herself to ignore them and focus solely on the spare seat she had spotted.
Once she sat down, she relaxed a little, though still braced for the verbal beating that would surely be bestowed from her professor down below.
In high school when a student was late, the teacher always took the opportunity to publically mock and ridicule them, making an example of them so that other students would think twice about being late.
“Oh, Miss Heron, too busy doing your hair to attend class?” Miss Davies would say from behind clenched teeth whenever Alex was late for Spanish studies. “There’s more to life than looks, you know.”
Alex would ignore the old woman and just sit down.
But here, things were different. Here, she wanted to be taken seriously, not seen as some dumb blonde who cheers. It felt surreal to be potentially fighting against the persona she had created at Woodsdale and had assumed it had been left there.
The professor, however, continued to talk to the class, seemingly unaware of Alex’s late arrival. He concluded his presentation and raised the lights, and only then did he glance towards Alex.
“I don’t condone late arrivals,” he called up simply to her. “Either attend on time or not at all. You get one chance to be late; you’ve just used yours.”
Before Alex could explain that she’d been fake-lost, he turned away from her and continued to teach. There was no threat of detention, no public shaming. Alex realized that he didn’t really care if Alex turned up or not, as the only person she was cheating was herself. Feeling embarrassed, she opened her notebook and did her best to follow the remainder of the lesson.
Alex didn’t regret going out the previous night. The party at Brad’s friend’s house had been a lot of fun. Probably too much fun. Alex hadn’t intended to stay late, but once she’d downed a few beers, time seemed to lose all relevance, and one moment she was dancing along to some song she’d never heard, the next she was waking up in her bed and it was eleven in the morning.
Wearily she rubbed her eyes and continued to make notes. Her head had begun to throb, but she ignored it. Once class was over she could go back to her dorm room and sleep. Sleep away the shame and the fatigue until she felt refreshed again.
****
When class was finally over Alex was relieved to let her mind relax once more. She thought about going to apologize to her professor for being late but thought better of it. She knew that her words wouldn’t be enough; he’d want proof that she was a serious, dedicated student and the only way she could show that was through her work.
The class had already been assigned a problem, which she was determined to solve that very afternoon, after she’d had a much-needed power nap.
As her peers filtered out of the class, Alex tried to linger nearby, perhaps even connect with someone from her class and make a new friend, but they were all giving her a wide berth. Initially she thought it was in her mind, but as she approached a group of girls, they quickly departed.
Alex felt very much the outsider as she came out into the sunshine of the courtyard. The whole area was bustling with activity as students were scurrying to and from class or sitting on the grass, some alone, some in pairs or groups. Reading, laughing or listening to music, there was so much energy, so much movement, it was exhilarating.
Walking with the sun on her back, Alex wished that Ashley didn’t have a class that afternoon. It would have been nice if they could have sat out on the grass and talked and laughed and had fun.
But Alex stopped herself from wishing for an afternoon of sunshine. She had work to do, had to prove her worth. The old cheerleader Alex would have wasted the day basking on the immaculate lawns. Alexandra Heron, serious student and sorority pledge, needed to get her priorities in order. Alex began to fear that the old habits she’d cultivated back in Woodsdale might not be so easy to escape as she’d initially predicted.
****
Back in her dorm room, Alex found that both Brad and Ashley
were now gone. A neatly made pink bed left no trace of the previous night’s debauchery.
Alex sat on her bed and considered going to sleep. She was exhausted, but the bright light outside made her feel guilty to waste a day sleeping.
Emptying her backpack, she decided it would be best to get on with her studies. She moved over to her desk and noticed a stamped envelope waiting for her. Her name and address was written in a spiderlike scrawl on the front. Opening it, she smiled when she saw that the letter was from Mark.
Alex,
I was so thrilled to get your letter. As if I could ever forget you! You’re all I’ve thought about since you left.
I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying Princeton. I’ve no doubt that you’ll work hard there and do amazingly well. I’m proud that you’ve felt confident to be the real you and no longer hide behind secrets. The real Alex Heron is amazing, trust me, and everyone is going to love her!
Woodsdale is the same as ever. A new school year has already started, and I’ve lost count of the detentions I’ve handed out! But you don’t want to hear about my boring school life. I want to hear all about your exciting college life! Is it everything you hoped it would be?
I don’t want to sound patronising and like a father, but make sure you keep focused on your studies. I know what an exciting time freshman year can be. I myself was certainly no stranger to parties, but remember the bigger goal, while, of course, having fun.
You’ve worked so hard to get there, make it all count.
I’m saying all this when I’m certain you’re already top of your class and impressing your professors!
Write back soon with all your student adventures!
Love,
Letters of Love (Lessons in Love) Page 2
