by H. M. Ward
My brows inch up my face. “Really? Who?” Emma is never serious about anyone, but I can tell in the way her posture shifts, in the way her shoulders shrink in, that this is important to her and she’s afraid of what I’ll think. “Tell me, Em. Who is he?”
“You already know him.” She presses her lips together for a moment. After taking a deep breath, she says his name. “Jessie. After you two broke up, I saw him. We talked about you for a while, and then… I don’t know what happened. He irritates the hell out of me, but I like him. A lot. I didn’t want to date him until I told you about it, but then this happened and I didn’t see you for a while.” She glances up at me. “Are you mad?”
I forget myself and smile. “No, that’s wonderful! I felt so bad for him. He’s so nice, but Cole… I wanted Cole. I’m happy for you, Em. I really am.”
She talks to me for a while longer and tells me about Jessie, about why she likes him. She’s so excited that it’s hard not to feel excited, too. Then she starts talking about her internship and the paper. “Then we ran this story on Sottero. Did you see it?” I shake my head. Emma looks around for Cole, and leans in, whispering, “I thought not. Apparently, it’s gotten around her social circles that she’s a two-faced bitch thanks to a loud-mouthed intern that quit a little while back.” She winks at me and smiles, like it’s wonderful. “Her clients don’t want to have anything to do with her. She’s been an icon for years. The article was about how the mighty fall from grace. A few other names were in there too. It was a business piece on the importance of being genuine and remembering where your next paycheck is coming from. It seems that the arrogant fall faster and harder than anyone. I guess the article kind of double-damned her.” She smiles at me. “I thought you’d like that.”
At first, I think I do. I mean, she deserves whatever bad things come her way. The woman is vile, but…
Em’s jaw drops, but she snaps it shut, “Oh my God. You’re too good. How could you not be happy that she got hers?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe my brain is broken, but I can’t take joy in someone else’s misery, even if it is Sottero’s.”
Cole’s voice cuts through the room, “And that’s why I love you.” He walks up behind me and kisses the top of my head.
“Yeah,” Emma protests, “but Sottero had it coming. You can’t be a heinous bitch for two decades and not have it come back to bite you on the ass. Besides, she dropped the lawsuit, right?”
Cole shakes his head, “No, she didn’t.”
Emma’s jaw drops as her eyes widen. “What? Is she insane?”
“She’s playing the victim, Em.” I say. “If she gets the press to portray her in that light, then it makes sense why she’s been so bitter and fucked-up over the years. All will be forgiven. Kiss, kiss and all that.”
“No,” Em replies, looking shocked. “You think that’s her goal?”
“I have no clue what her goal is,” Cole mutters. “She’s Sophia. This is typical Sophia.”
I shake my head, “It doesn’t seem like she wants money. She has plenty of that…”
Cole says, “Revenge. That’s what she wants. She wants to rip out my guts, the way I ripped out hers.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“She thought I was loaded. She felt duped, Anna. Sophia was slightly off-balance before, but now, with the papers running stories about her—she’s like a rabid dog jumping at my throat.”
“Sorry,” Em says and shrinks back into the couch next to me, obviously feeling somewhat responsible for the increase in Sophia’s crazy levels.
Cole says, “It’s not your fault. It’s your job. Besides, Sophia made her decisions and I made mine.” Cole shifts his weight. He looks at me for half a beat and then his eyes shift back to Em. “How would you like to run a story for me?”
Em’s dark eyebrow lifts. He’s caught her attention. “What’d you have in mind?”
CHAPTER 7
My parents insist on checking in with me so frequently that my eye twitches. My cell rings and I pick it up. “I’m still fine, Ma. Cole’s taking good care of me.”
“Thank God!” She blares into the phone. I pull it back from ear a little, so I don’t go deaf. Ma is one of those people who talks louder on a cell phone. She acts like it’s a tin can on a string and practically screams into the thing. “I’m having palpitations out here worrying about you. I can’t stand you living so far away. Come home, Anna. Your old room is—”
I groan, “Ma, I’m fine. Really. And what happened could have happened anywhere. It’s not like the whole stalker thing was random. He went to your house for Chrissakes. He seemed sane to you, too.” I shouldn’t have said it. Reminding her of her conversation with Edward is like a kick to the gut. Apparently his obsession with me was worse than anyone thought. When the police starting questioning my family, my Ma recognized him.
Ma’s voice shrinks back to a muffle. “I didn’t know, honey. I swear to God, I had no idea that he—”
I cut her off, “That’s the point. Nobody knew and it could have happened anywhere. I’m safe here, Ma. I’ll be at Cole’s for a few more days and then I’ll move back in with Emma.”
I don’t pull the phone back in time for the wave of tyrannical threats that spew from the tiny speaker. I open my mouth to respond, but Cole snatches the phone from my hand.
He speaks over Ma, “Anna’s not going anywhere, Mrs. Lamore.” He says it so calmly, so certainly. I cock my head at him and feel extra stubborn. I don’t doubt for a second that he thinks I’m staying here indefinitely, but I feel like I need to get on with my life. It feels like I’m hiding here.
I can still hear Ma yelling back, “She better not!”
“I assure you, she is staying here with me, and if she insists on leaving, I will deposit her on your doorstep. She’s not going anywhere alone until Edward is behind bars. You have my word on that.” Edward’s out on bail, which is why things are kind of hard right now. No one wants to leave me alone so that he can take another go at me.
Ma’s voice lowers and I can’t make out what she’s saying. Cole avoids my angry gaze until he hangs up.
Cole sighs and hands me back my phone. “When were you going to tell me this marvelous plan?”
I squirm on the couch and pull my knees into my chest. “Never.” I knew he wouldn’t like it.
“I thought so.” He sits down next to me. “You can do anything you want, but it’s so far from smart that I can’t let you go back there. He’s out on bail. Edward could come after you again.”
“He won’t” I say, staring straight ahead.
“You don’t know that.”
“Cole,” I take a breath, and look at him. “I don’t want to hide for the rest of my life. I want to get on with things and that means going back to normal.”
“What if normal where here, with me?” His eyes are like twin gems, deep and clear. His voice is so sincere, so loving. Cole hasn’t mentioned the proposal since that night. Too many things happened.
My lips tug into a small smile. I lean my head against his shoulder. “Tell me what that would look like. Things are changing right now. I don’t even know what tomorrow will be like and neither do you. It makes it hard to dream right now.”
His arms wrap around me. “All I do is dream, right now. I dream about having you in my bed every night and seeing your beautiful face every morning. I dream about that lawsuit vanishing and having that part of my life over. I dream of being someone else’s son, with someone else’s name…” he strokes my hair as I listen to him. He breathes, “All I do is dream. I’m living in a fantasy world as long as you’re next to me. I can’t stand the thought of you leaving.”
Silence fills the room. It’s not the awkward kind, it’s the peaceful kind. Cole wraps his arms around me tighter and holds me like that for a second. When he moves to release me and get up, I stop him. My fingers brush his forearms and press him against me. “Hope is important, Cole. Don’t feel bad about t
hat. As for your name, have you thought about what you want to change it to?”
He looks down at me and smiles. “Dude. You inspired me and I had to pick that one. People can call me Mr. Dude, the artist.”
I laugh way too loud and smack his arm. “You can’t change your last name to Dude! Besides, if I said yes, that’d make me Mrs. Dude and I am so not doing that.”
Cole grins. He sits and pulls me onto his lap. I turn to face him. His face is a breath from mine. “Oh? So you’ve thought about that a little bit, have you?”
I nod. “A little bit.” My heart is pounding.
“And that’s the only conclusion you’ve made?”
“It’s a pretty good conclusion, right? There’s no way in hell people are going to call me Anna Dude.” I laugh and he smiles. It makes the corners of his eyes crinkle the way I Iove.
“So, then what would you have me do?”
“Pick a name that suits you, one that makes sense, and that you’d be happy to have.”
“I’m not sure there is a name like that, Anna.”
I want to smile, but I try to hide it. Taking his face in my hands, I say, “Lamore.” I swallow hard, letting the idea sink in. I take a breath. The feeling that I’m falling won’t hush. My stomach is in my throat. “I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I know I want you in my life. I like my last name and what it stands for. Lamore’s think love is worth fighting for, that love is worth more than life, that—”
He cuts me off with a kiss. Cole’s lips press hard against mine and he pulls away grinning. “I would love to take your name. Wedding or not.” He’s not certain that I’ve accepted his proposal.
“Oh, there’ll be a wedding. I thought I had to know everything before I got married. I thought that my life was going to be laid out for me, that I’d go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids—in that order—but it didn’t happen like that. I don’t have much, but what’s mine is yours…” he’s still quiet, watching me. I want to choke or run or jump out the window. I blabber on, adding, “If you still want me.”
Cole’s eyes remain locked on mine. Without a word he stands up, with me on his lap. I scream as he chucks me in the air and catches me. He makes a very loud, happy, sound that almost sounds like a whoop, and whirls around with me in his arms, spinning in circles. We both laugh and scream. I cling to his chest and close my eyes, but it doesn’t stop the joy from bursting like fireworks inside of me. By the time he falls onto the couch, my face hurts from smiling so hard.
I giggle, “Mr. Lamore, you’re going to be a handful.”
“Likewise, Mrs. Lamore.”
CHAPTER 8
“Are you sure that you want me to run this, Cole? It kind of sets things in stone.”
He nods, his dark hair falling forward as he moves. “It’s a warning shot. She needs to see it coming.”
“Who?” I ask. “Sottero?”
He nods. “She thinks that I won’t fight back because I never have, because I’ll lose my name. She knows my past and what that fucking name cost me.” He glances up at Emma. “Sorry—”
“Don’t apologize to me. I swear like a sailor. Anna made me tone it down so I don’t offend her virgin ears.” Emma flips her dark curtain of silky hair over her shoulder. Somehow she always manages to have this sleek look that could make a Pantene model jealous.
My face flames red, “My ears are not virgins.” I hiss, and then realize it sounds weird and grin rather stupidly.
Cole’s eyebrow lifts, “We’ll need to discuss that later, Miss Lamore.” I smack his arm.
We’re sitting in Emma’s apartment. It’s the first time that I’ve been back home since the day Edward attacked me. Em cleaned the place up. There’s no blood, but the smells and the way the light cuts through the blinds is identical. I’m glad Cole didn’t want me to stay here. I think I wanted to do it to prove a point—that Edward didn’t break my brain, that I’m not afraid. The thing is, I am, but the fear has changed. I know who he is and what he was doing now. Instead of feeling the choking panic, I feel jittery and stressed. It’s like a nightmare that surfaces during daylight, even though it was scary when it happened, in the light of day the cold tentacles of fear are still laced around my throat. I shiver and Cole pulls me closer to him. We are sitting at the breakfast bar and Em is across from us on the couch.
Emma ignores our banter. “Well, if you’re sure. Once the article is submitted, I can’t take it back. That’s all I’m saying.” She waits, watching Cole.
“Do it.”
The article is short. It mentions that famed photographer Cole Stevens is changing his last name. While it might seem like a public interest story to everyone else, to Sophia it’s a bomb. It’s telling her to drop her lawsuit, that Cole is going to fight back, and that she will lose. It’s a very gentle, tactful way to warn her to back down. He surprises me with that, especially since Sophia is so vicious.
_____
The article runs the day before the rescheduled hearing. I lift the paper and am surprised at the prominent location. The article is small, but Sottero v. Stevens has been in the papers on and off for a while now. I suppose that’s good, that there’s no way she’ll miss it.
Cole sees me sitting on the couch with the paper. He has a cup of coffee in his hand. He lifts it to his lips and sips it slowly before asking, “Well? Do you think that was worth doing?”
“I don’t know. Sophia seems kind of crazy. No one else will know what this means, but she will.” I twiddle the edge of the paper between my fingers and look over it at him. “What do you want her to do, exactly?”
Cole takes a deep breath and sits at the table. The open floorplan makes it feel like he’s not that far away. The living room bumps up against the dining room, and the couch where I’m sitting is positioned in between. “I want her to drop the lawsuit, but I don’t think that’ll happen.” He looks at the black liquid in his mug. “Ya know, I can’t help but notice that you didn’t accept my proposal until after it was confirmed that I’d lose everything.” He looks up at me. “I wasn’t going to fight back, they seized my assets, and I lost many of my clients, and then you decided to stick around.” He sounds like he can’t believe it. He looks at me from under his brow, the steaming cup in his hand.
His tone worries me. It makes my stomach clench and twist. “Money doesn’t matter to me, Cole. You have to know that by now. All my life, it’s been this poison hanging over my head. I take what I need and nothing more.” I shrug away the defensive feeling that’s coming over me. “I just don’t want it.”
“You’re afraid of it.”
“Maybe,” I say honestly. “There’s a duality with money, like you can chose to have money or love, but you can’t have both. They negate each other, or at least it seems that way to me. So yeah, maybe your money terrifies me a little bit.” I look up at him. The expression in his dark eyes is difficult to read. I can’t tell if I offended or amazed him. Funny how those look so similar sometimes.
Cole’s eyes lower. He looks at his mug as he speaks. “That’s part of the reason why I didn’t fight back with Sottero. I really didn’t want to. I thought I was being like my father, crushing a woman I already shattered. I never told Sophia that I was disinherited before I proposed to her. I couldn’t, and she had no idea. It hit her like a train. The ring wasn’t even taken out of the box. She slapped it from my hand, put it under her car, and ran it over. The look she gave me, Anna—damn—for the longest time I thought I deserved whatever she threw my way. My fortune, all of it was made because she inspired me in the first place.”
A string of images form in my mind. A young Cole returning from the army, wearing that uniform. The Tiffany’s box that was battered and locked in his safe. I blink these things away. They’re his ghosts and I wish they didn’t haunt him, but they do. I’m quiet for a moment and then something he’d said to me clicks into place. He owes her. He said it. He thinks that he’s indebted to her in a way he can’t repay. My mo
uth hangs open for a second and I think I understand. “She gave you your camera?”
He nods. “After I came back from the military, I was listless. I had nothing to do and nowhere to live. Sophia thought that I was on an international vacation for four years. I didn’t correct her. I couldn’t. She thought that I had no job because of my status, that I was a playboy like the papers made me out to be.” His eyes flick up to me. “Maybe I shouldn’t be talking about this, but I wanted you to know how I felt about it. I deserved what I got from Sophia, as far as I was concerned. I did fuck her over, in a manner of speaking. And the gag on speaking about the agreement to use my name and my disownment made it so I couldn’t respond. I deserve this Anna.” The way he says it makes my heart ache. I slip off the couch and hobble over to him. Cole’s eyes seek mine, looking for answers that he can’t find.
I sit in the chair next to him and take his hands in mine. “Listen, I don’t pretend to know what’s right and what’s wrong here. I hear the guilt in your voice when you talk about her, but Cole, I just don’t see it. Even if you led her on to think you were still the heir—which I don’t think you did—it’s been twenty years. She should have let it go by now. Even if she was burned, it’s unthinkable to stay mad this long.”
“I thought she loved me, Anna,” he says, but I can hear it. He means, Will you leave me, too? Have I deceived you so gravely that you’ll crush me as well?
The thread of insecurity is just that, a tiny string that tugs at Cole’s past and connects to his present. I want to snap it. I want to cut that thread and let things fall where they may. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now, than here with you. I’m not going anywhere. And if there’s ever a time that we have too much money, that it’s getting between us, we’ll fix it.”
“How?”
“We’ll give it away. Cole, this is about us, now. I’m not Sophia. I want you for you—all of your kinky, sophisticated, sexy self—I want you. Nothing will ever change my mind. You think I’d share my name with just anyone?” I grin at him.
