by Cross,Lexi
“Oh? What’d she say?”
He took a deep breath and concentrated, like it was very important for him to get it just right. “She said you better believe you’re gonna wear your tuxedo all day, so don’t complain to her about it.”
“Damn,” Tony muttered.
***
It was a perfect day for the wedding—bright, cloudless, and not too hot since it was already mid-September. That was one thing Tony had complained about the most, standing outside in a tux during the ceremony. “Us big guys have to think about stuff like that,” he’d argued. He didn’t have anything to bitch about since the breeze almost made it feel cool.
There weren’t a ton of people there, in the chairs the planners had lined up in front of the little arch where Jess and I would say our vows. Only five dozen or so. We didn’t need the whole world with us, just the people who mattered the most. Our friends, my club. Our club, actually, since she would be my old lady and I would lead with her at my side.
That was something we had talked about a lot in the months leading up to the wedding. One night, in bed, she asked me how I wanted to run things. How did I want her to be?
“What’s that mean?” I had asked.
“What sort of old lady should I be? The kind who expects to know things, or what?”
I hadn’t thought about it before that. “I just want you to be Jess. If there were ever a day when you didn’t expect to know something, I would be worried.”
“Thanks,” she’d said, poking me in the ribs.
“I mean it, though,” I’d continued after I stopped laughing. “I want you behind me, next to me. I don’t wanna keep things from you ever again, because we both know what happens when we do that to each other.” I had told her long before that why I’d pushed her away at the end of our first marriage. The shame and guilt I had felt. It wasn’t worth it, tearing our marriage apart because I didn’t feel like I could talk to her. She was the most important person in my life, right next to our son. I owed her the truth.
“So you think I should know things? I should be privy to what goes on in the club?”
“Are you okay with that?” I asked, looking at her. She had her head on my chest and didn’t answer for a minute.
“Yeah, I guess I am.” She sounded surprised.
“Why do you sound unsure of yourself? We’ll do this any way you want to.”
“I guess I just never pictured you as president back then. I mean, I know you always told me you would be, that Axel wanted to groom you for the job. But I didn’t put it together. It wasn’t real back then. Now it’s very real. And it worries me.”
“I can’t step down, if that’s what you’re asking me to do,” I’d murmured.
She’d looked up at me, gasping. “No! I would never, ever ask you to do that. I’m just saying, it’s a lot to get used to. It’s dangerous. That’s all.”
“Things aren’t the way they used to be,” I’d reminded her. “This isn’t Axel’s reign. I’m a different man, and we’re a different club. Still tough. We don’t take shit from anybody, as you know. But we don’t kill for no reason, we don’t take business from other people with no reason. And we’re not into the bloody shit Axel got us into, either. I’ve seen to that.”
“That’s a relief,” she’d admitted. “I don’t want to worry about you every time you leave the house.”
“And you won’t have to.” I intended to keep that promise. I had more than just myself to think about again. I had her and my son, and that was worth keeping as much peace as possible. Things didn’t have to be the way they were with Axel. That was the exception more than the rule with most clubs. Nobody wanted a lot of blood. We just wanted to do business and make our money and get home at the end of the day.
I knew it would take time to get Jess to understand, and I wouldn’t push things before she did. After a while, she would see things weren’t the way they used to be. I wouldn’t let the club come between us again, as much as I loved it. I loved her, too. I had to find out the hard way that without her, nothing mattered as much. I needed her to make life worth living.
It was almost time to get started. The Reverend waited next to me, with Tony behind me. He didn’t want to make it obvious, but he was just as nervous and excited as I was. He didn’t get to be there for our first wedding, and I knew it meant a lot to him to be there for us when we made it official. All his complaining was just a way to cover up the way he really felt. I knew him well enough that I didn’t need him to tell me so.
There were a few musicians playing, off to the side, and when the music changed, I knew it meant things were about to start. First came David, and I grinned at him as he walked down the aisle with our rings on a pillow. He handed them to Tony, then fist bumped me. I heard everybody laugh.
Cindy came next, in a flowing purple dress. It had taken her a minute to get used to the idea of Jess and me getting together since she never really knew anything about me before I came back into Jess’s life. I had been a secret, sort of, just something Jess never really talked about. I didn’t take it personally. Once she knew I was for real, and that I loved her friend and my son, she got used to the idea. It was an adjustment for everybody, especially since our relationship kicked back off with so much violence and fear.
“Here she comes,” David whispered, beaming. I knew how he felt. My heart thudded in my chest, and blood rushed in my ears. I couldn’t remember ever being more excited to see someone walk to me. Everybody stood and turned to watch.
I saw her, then, coming around the corner, walking down the runner between the chairs. Her dress was simple, just a flowing white gown that didn’t have a lot of beads or anything sparkly on it. Simple, the way she wanted it. Instead of a veil, she wore a bunch of flowers in her hair, tucked behind one ear. She carried a bouquet of roses to match them. I didn’t see any of it, really. I would remember it in bits and pieces later on. All I saw was her smile, and she took my breath away.
She handed her flowers to Cindy, and we joined hands. I felt in her wrists the way her pulse pounded, and I was sure mine did the same. Not that I had any questions about her. I knew from the minute we met that she would be the only one for me, and I wasn’t wrong. She was the only woman I had ever loved and would ever love for as long as I lived. It was excitement, more than anything else, that got my heart pounding. Knowing that we were lucky enough to start over, that sometimes people got a second chance. I didn’t know what I did to deserve her, or David, or the chance for us to be together as a family, but I would keep doing whatever it was for the rest of my life if it meant I would get to keep them with me.
“Hi,” she whispered, already with tears in her eyes.
“Hi,” I whispered back. “You look great.”
“So do you.”
“Shh,” David whispered to the both of us, standing at my side. “It’s time to start.”
Epilogue II
Jess
I slid out of my shoes, glad my gown was long enough to hide my bare feet. I wasn’t used to wearing heels anymore, working as a bookkeeper for the club. The job didn’t exactly require a professional dress code. It was a relief to get the strappy sandals off.
Cindy saw the look of relief on my face and sat down beside me. “Let me guess. You took the shoes off.”
I giggled. “Gee, how did you know?” She lifted the hem of her dress to show me her slippered feet. I laughed.
“You lasted longer than I did. Here.” She pulled a rolled-up pair of ballet slippers out of her clutch. “I had the feeling you would need these.”
“Oh, you’re too good to me,” I said, sliding them on with a sigh of relief.
“That’s what a maid of honor is for. I have to think of these things, since I knew you had more than enough to think about on your own.” She scanned the room with a smirk. “It wasn’t easy, wrangling all these guys.”
I mimicked her move, looking out over the crowd. I loved them all. They would gladly lay down their lives for their
president or me, as some of them had already proven. I didn’t begrudge them to chance to let loose and party a little, though I knew the real party wouldn’t start until David and the other handful of kids had left to go to bed. I didn’t hope to be at that party. That was more for them than it was for Grayson or me.
David sat to my right, dozing a little. I looked at him with more love than I thought was possible to feel. It was amazing, the way I always felt more and more love than I imagined I was capable of. He had stood beside his father bravely, proudly, while we said the words that made us husband and wife all over again. I knew it made him feel good, having two parents who were married and loved each other. His life had started a little shakily, without the security Grayson’s presence had given it.
“So, where do you see you two going from here? Oh, I’m sorry. You three.” Cindy smiled adoringly at David.
“What do you mean, going from here?”
“I know Grayson doesn’t want his life turned upside down, and I respect that, but it seems a bit much to ask his son to live at his bachelor pad for the rest of his life.” I understood that. After everything had calmed down, I had decided to let go of the apartment above Cindy’s—while I missed her, I would never feel the same as I used to feel when I was there. I would always associate the place with fear, and I didn’t want to feel that way in my home.
“You’re right,” I said. “I can’t see us living there forever, either. We’ve talked about buying a house, maybe somewhere out on Long Island. It’s still up in the air. We’re lucky—it’s not an emergency. We’re comfortable enough where we are, even if we know it can’t be forever. We can be choosy now. So many things are different than they were we were first started out.”
That was an understatement. We were adults, not kids. We understood what we were getting into—we might have had a vague idea during our first marriage, but the years had lent us a little maturity. We knew what it was like apart, and it wasn’t worth it. No fight was worth it, no petty difference. No threat, real or perceived. We were stronger than anything life could throw at us.
We had David, too. He was reason enough to keep trying every day, to keep fights from tearing at us. When we were younger, our marriage had been a little more tumultuous. We would fight, then we’d have fantastic make-up sex. There was more to life than that, though make-up sex was still fantastic. We were parents. We had to settle down, find other ways to work out our problems rather than picking at each other.
It was sweet, really, looking at everything we had waiting for us and knowing how far we’d come to make it happen. I’d gone through hell without him, and he had done the same without me. The complete joy I felt as a result, watching him laugh with his friends at our wedding reception, was a result of that.
He looked incredible. “I can’t get over the sight of him in a tux,” I said, raking him over with my eyes.
“They all clean up pretty well,” Cindy acknowledged. “You would think they were honest, respectable people.”
“Watch it,” I warned, giggling. “They’re my people.”
“I know, I’m only teasing. And yes, that man of yours can wear a tux. Damn.”
“Hey! That’s my husband you’re talking about. I have the ring to prove it.” I held up my left hand, a diamond band sparkling beneath my three-carat engagement ring. It was bigger than the first one—much bigger. Life had improved since the old days in many ways.
“You’ve got more than that,” Cindy said, her voice quiet. “I envy you.”
“Your time will come,” I promised, patting her hand. “I’m sure of it. Hey, Tony needs a good woman. I can vouch for him.”
“No, thanks. I don’t know that I could handle him.” We laughed together, watching as he undid the top button on his shirt. He looked at me before he did it, and I smirked as I nodded. I wasn’t a total monster. As long as he looked half-decent. I needed to keep a tight rein on him, on all of them. I felt like I’d become a mother to a lot more than just a little boy. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
***
“Well, we did it.” I looked down at my husband, where he sat on the bed. We’d decided to postpone our honeymoon since finding care for David wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. Neither of us had parents to leave him with, and while I loved Cindy, I couldn’t see imposing on her for an entire week. And the club? I would rather leave my son with a wolf pack, as much as I loved them.
“We did,” I agreed, smiling. We’d at least rented a hotel room for the night, one of the nicest in town. Grayson had told them it was our wedding night, so they’d gone all out for us—champagne, flowers, candles. It was a very romantic scene once the candles were lit, giving the spacious sweet a warm glow.
“Did you ever think we would make it back here? To this place, I mean?” Sitting there on the bed, he was the most irresistible thing in the world to me. His bow tie undone, the top two buttons of his shirt open to reveal the promise of his smooth, broad chest. A sexy grin on his face.
“I hoped we would, for years. I wanted us to be together again. I dreamed about it all the time. But honestly, no. I didn’t think it would happen.”
“Here we are, though. We made it anyway. Because we’re just that good together.” He stood, taking my waist in his hands, pulling me to him. I still wore my gown, and he skimmed the gauzy material. “This is beautiful,” he whispered. “But I think I would like it much better off you.”
I giggled. “Same with you,” I said, working at the rest of the buttons on his shirt. “All this tux made me want to do all day was rip it off you.” He smirked, looking even sexier. Just when I didn’t think it was possible.
Once I had the shirt unbuttoned, I slowly moved my hands over his chest, then his shoulders, sliding it off. I kissed his chest, reveling in the feel and taste of him. He groaned, fingers buried in my hair, as I took my time. I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted it to be like the first time all over again. We had all night.
I licked a trail from his throat down to his abs, running my fingers over his gently pulsing muscles as they fluttered beneath my touch. I unbuttoned his pants, letting them fall to the floor. He was already hard, waiting for me.
“Hang on,” he said, pulling me to my feet and turning me around. “It doesn’t feel right while you’re still wearing this.” I chuckled, waiting for him to unzip me. The gown fell to the floor, and he pulled me against him, grinding himself against my butt, his hands on my breasts. I sighed, leaning back, letting him hold me up. His hardness turned my knees to jelly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, basking in the way he felt against me.
I spun around, dropping to my knees. I wanted to see his face when I touched him. He closed his eyes as I pulled down his shorts, and when I wrapped my hand around his thick, rigid length, he groaned.
“Yeah, baby. Put it in your mouth.” I felt a wave of wetness rush between my legs as I did what he asked, listening to him sigh and moan and my lips closed around the head, then moved slowly down his shaft.
“Yes, Jess. Just like that.” He held the back of my head as I bobbed up and down, rolling my tongue in circles along the underside of his shaft. He tensed, gasped when I increased the pressure from my lips. I looked up, watching his face contort with pleasure, loving the way it felt to have such control over him for even a short time. I loved knowing I could make him feel good.
He pulled out, almost ready to come, and threw me onto the bed. I giggled, but only for a moment as he lowered himself over me. I held my arms out, taking him, holding him close. For a little while, we stayed that way, him on his forearms, me with my arms and legs around him. Just looking at each other. I stared into his eyes, wondering how I had ever gotten so lucky. What did I do to deserve a second chance with the love of my life?
The feel of his sweet, soft kiss swept all thoughts and questions aside. It felt as though I were sinking into pleasure, deeper and deeper the longer we kissed. Our bodies moved against each other, touching, arching, straining for
more contact. I ran my feet and legs over his, my hands all over his shoulders and back, before holding his face in my hands. I cherished him, I worshiped him, I wanting nothing but him for the rest of my life. It finally felt like my life was the way it was always meant to be, just because he was in my arms.
He moved away from my mouth, letting me gasp for air as he explored me with his tongue. He still knew just what to do, just what would leave me aching with passion. I closed my eyes, focusing on the sensations he created as he lapped at my breasts, my stomach, my thighs, my ankles. Every inch of me felt the touch of his hands, his mouth. I writhed on the bed, moaning, crying out for more. Telling him how much I loved it, how much I loved him.
He returned the favor I’d bestowed on him next, diving between my open thighs and lapping at my folds. I clutched the back of his head in place, holding him there, grinding my hips against his face. I was desperate, dying for him. Wanting nothing more than the feeling of him pleasuring me.
