“Syd.” He caressed her hand that was resting on his leg, popping her thoughts like a bubble. “You get to decide: a ride on the bike or office sex?”
“Can’t I have both?” She teased her fingers along the inside of his thigh, working upwards, closer to his cock. “You know you want both.”
“Fuck, baby, you’re a tease.” As he took the exit that would lead them into Davenport, he arched his hips forward—she wasn’t sure if it was to give her a better angle or to readjust himself. Either way, it urged her on, enjoying the feel of him hardening under the faintest touch. “Two minutes and we’ll be home.”
She didn’t want to wait; she wanted him now but the side of the road in the middle of Davenport just wouldn’t do. The chances of them getting caught were too high and that was not the kind of publicity Tanner Cycles needed. She undid the top button of his jeans as he turned onto the dirt road that led back to the family’s property.
“Wait.” He took hold of her hand but it was the stillness of his body that caught her attention.
“What?” Glancing up at him, she found his facial features had hardened, his eyes had turned darker, and the need that had been there moments before was gone. Rather, he stared out the front window, watching something. As she followed his line of sight, she realized what had stopped him.
Her heart beat frantically against her ribs and her chest tightened, making it harder to get air into her lungs. Two police cars near the main gate of the property sent fear rushing through her. Cay and Cyrus were speaking with one of the officers, but she couldn’t make out who the other man was. “Coal?”
“It’s okay, baby.” He squeezed her hand but wouldn’t meet her gaze as he pulled the SUV to a stop a few feet from the police cruisers. “Stay here. I’ll find out what’s going on.”
“I’m coming with you.” She opened her door before he put the SUV in park and watched as the men’s attention turned toward them. Even Cyrus who was always easygoing couldn’t quite meet her gaze. His shoulders drooped as if he had the weight of the world on them. Terrible thoughts of losing Coal rushed through her mind. Could Jay have said something to the police that would have sent them there to arrest Coal? Even if Jay disagreed with their relationship, she was eighteen, making her legal. There was still the possibility Jay could have accused Coal of something else. I’ll kill him for this.
Meeting Coal at the front of the SUV, he slipped his hand into hers and whispered something to her that she didn’t catch because of her overwhelming thoughts. The men moved away from the fence, with Cyrus being the last to move. The way he lingered behind warned her he didn’t want to be there for this but felt he had to. The youngest of the Tanner brothers seemed to be the most emotional but whatever had disturbed him was bleeding off on Cay as well. When Cay looked at her, there was only sadness peeking through his pale blue eyes.
“Mr. Tanner, Ms. Manor, if I may have a few minutes of your time.”
Tearing her gaze from Cay and Cyrus, she took in the man in uniform and recognized him as Chief Kingsworth. If she had taken the time to look at him before, she’d have known him immediately from his height and the way he held himself. He was the law in Davenport, and his six-foot-seven frame made sure everyone realized it.
“Chief Kingsworth, I called you earlier but you didn’t need to make a special trip out here. A call would have been sufficient.” Coal’s voice was light as if he wasn’t worried about the chief’s sudden appearance, but the stiffness in his body let her know otherwise.
“The news I’m about to deliver is better handled in person if possible than over the telephone.” He glanced at her before looking back at Coal. “We should do this inside.”
“What’s going on?” she demanded. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s happening.”
“Shh, baby.” Coal let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her against his body.
“Chief Kingsworth is right. We should go inside. It’s about…” Cay moved to the chief’s side, his gaze more on Coal than on her, as if he was trying to silently communicate with his brother.
“She’s already upset, so just say what needs to be said.”
“Tell me!” Her voice was louder than she’d planned but anger and fear were controlling her. Please don’t be here to arrest Coal. Not my Coal!
Chief Kingsworth didn’t look pleased but he nodded. “The doctors have done everything they can for Jayden but his chance of survival is unlikely. He needs to have surgery to repair the damage one of the bullets has caused to his heart. That organ is the most damaged but his whole body is shutting down. He’s suffering with multiple internal injuries, leaving the doctors to decide which needs to be a priority. Without the surgery, he’ll die, but the chance of surviving the procedure is less than ten percent.”
“You need my permission for the surgery.” Even to her own ears, her voice sounded calm—while inside she was falling apart. Her legs felt weak and if it wasn’t for Coal’s arm around her waist, she wasn’t sure she’d still be in an upright position.
“That and I’ve made arrangements for you to see him if you wish. It could be your last chance.”
Her vision swam as she realized her brother was going to die. That was enough to have her crumbling toward the ground as her legs gave out from under her but Coal’s arm tightened around her. I’d rather be dead than in prison. Was it selfish that she’d rather see him alive? Maybe, but even after everything he’d done, she couldn’t wish her brother dead. “I want to see him.”
Chapter Fourteen
Since the night of her mother’s accident, Sydney hated hospitals. They only served as a reminder of the life and love that had been ripped away from her. Tim had robbed her of her mother, as well as Mr. and Mrs. Tanner, and eventually, the Tanner brothers. With her mother gone, Dad had become more distant and now she knew why. Everything she loved she’d lost that night, the only exception being Jay. Now she was standing in another hospital room about to lose another piece of herself.
Jay was dying and while Chief Kingsworth had tried to make the surgery seem like a possibility of saving his life, the doctors caring for him didn’t seem to have the same belief. The surgery was Jay’s only hope, the doctors had warned her countless times that his survival was unlikely. Her heart was breaking as she tried to brace herself for losing him.
With tears rolling down her face, she stood by his bed, his hand in hers. She wanted to rant and rave about what had happened, to curse him for breaking out of jail and for raising a gun on police officers, but she didn’t. He couldn’t hear her and while it might make her feel better for the moment, it wouldn’t give her the peace she craved.
“Come on, Syd, sit down.” Coal pushed a hard metal chair up behind her so she could sit next to the bed. “You’re too pale. I don’t want you passing out. Sit…please.”
She did as he’d asked partially because she didn’t have the strength to fight him and partially because she felt as though she would topple over. Just being in this place overwhelmed her and made her feel lightheaded. Since the car accident, hospitals only meant one thing to her—death. In her mind, it didn’t matter some sick people came there, got better, and went home. It didn’t matter that new life was born in the maternity ward every day. All she could focus on was the loss that had transpired in a hospital very similar to the one she stood in.
A soft moan came from Jay and he tried to move his arm that was handcuffed to the bed. Though he wasn’t in any condition to walk out of there, the police were not taking any chances. She tipped her head back to look up at Coal.
“The officers he…” the words failed her. Knowing her brother had shot two police officers and actually saying the words aloud were two different things.
“They’re alive.” He squeezed her shoulder. “One will be discharged today and the other was in surgery this morning when I called Chief Kingsworth. That’s why he wasn’t in the office.”
“Will he live?” She was
n’t sure she wanted to know the answer but she couldn’t stop herself from asking the question. The idea that her brother might have killed a law enforcement agent made her sick.
“If the surgery is successful.”
“Sy…Sydn…” Jay’s voice was rough and full of pain but he knew she was there.
“I’m here, Jay. I’m here.” She squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. Don’t talk.”
“Coal?”
“He’s here.” She wasn’t sure if she should be telling Jay that or not. “Don’t worry about a thing. It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m dying.”
Was she supposed to argue with him? Was she supposed to tell him the surgery would fix everything? If she was, she knew she couldn’t do it. Lying to someone wouldn’t make anything better and she wasn’t sure it would make him fight to live, either. The idea of her brother dying felt like a knife stabbing her through her heart.
“It’s okay…it’s better than…prison.” His voice was ragged and breathy. The pain swam in his eyes as he opened them to look at her. “Don’t cry.”
“Don’t die on me and I won’t have to.” She lowered the bed rail so she could scoot closer to him. “Fight, Jay. Fight to live. You’re all I have left.”
“Bullshit.” He tipped his chin toward Coal who was still standing behind her. “You’ve got him. He went behind my back and fucked you. Our friendship meant nothing to him when it came to claiming you—that better mean he fucking loves you.”
“Jay—” She started to defend what happened between them but Coal’s hand tightened on her shoulder.
“You have nothing to worry about. I do love her and she will be taken care of no matter what happens.” She noticed that Coal didn’t try to defend their friendship but asking about it now would waste what little time she had with her brother.
“If I make it through this…” Jay coughed, sending blood dripping from his lip.
She grabbed a tissue from the box by the bed and wiped up the bright red blood; all the while her mind screamed for the doctor to get there, to perform the surgery and save her brother. “Don’t talk, just rest.”
“Listen to me.” With his free hand, he caught hold of her arm, stopping her from wiping away the remaining blood. “I’ll take a deal. I won’t put you through the stress of having to testify against me. If I die…remember the good times we shared. I should have never told you about…Mom’s affair. She was a good woman. She wanted more than Dad could give her. There’s no shame to that.”
“I love you, Jay.” She wanted to wrap her arms around him but with his injuries and the cords from the medical equipment, she couldn’t; instead, she leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “You’re my big brother; our good memories far exceed any bad ones. You kept me safe through the years—for that I’ll always be thankful.”
“I’ve been a shit to you.” He squeezed her arm, just above the elbow. “Don’t deny it. This last year I could feel the divide between us. I didn’t know what else to do but try to force you into the so-called family business.”
“Don’t worry about it.” She blinked, trying to keep the tears at bay. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I know you will be.” He looked past her toward Coal. “You take good care of her. Make her happy. She deserves it.”
“You have my word.” Coal slipped an arm around her waist as he came to stand closer behind her. “I love her and I hope with time you can accept this.”
Before Jay could respond, his body shook with another coughing fit and machines beeped. “Jay!” she screamed as his eyes rolled back in his head and his body started to seize. “No! Jay…please…”
“Someone. We need help in here! Doctor!” Coal hollered and she realized he wasn’t behind her, but at the door, shouting down the hallway.
“Don’t you dare die on me. Do you hear me Jay?” Tears rolled down her face as she held the tissue to his mouth, trying to catch the blood that was seeping out from between his lips.
Hands wrapped around her arms, pulling her back from the bed. “Come on, Syd. Let them do their work.”
She hadn’t realized the nurses had joined them, or even the man in a white coat who she had spoken with earlier. She fought through the fear surrounding her thoughts and tried to remember the doctor’s name, but it was as if a hole had been drilled in her memories. Coal pulled her away from the bed, toward the back wall of the hospital room so they were out of the way of the medical staff.
“Get them out of here.” The doctor tipped his head to the nurse.
“Come on, Syd.” Coal wrapped his arm around her shoulder and ushered her toward the door. “We have to let them do their work. There’s nothing we can do for him now.”
“He’s right, Ms. Manor.” The young nurse looked from Coal to Sydney. “Let me take you to the family waiting room and someone will come speak with you shortly.”
“We can find it. Help the doctor.” Coal pulled her out the room before the nurse could argue, leading her quickly passed the officer at the door and down the hallway before she could protest.
He seemed to understand that she wouldn’t want to fall apart in front of so many witnesses, even if she hadn’t managed to decide that for herself. Mentally she was a mess and she was surprised she could even keep her feet under her as they made their way to the waiting room. Jay had done some horrible things in his life but he was still her family and the idea of him dying broke her heart.
After everything that had happened, she hadn’t wanted to see him and hadn’t even been sure she’d have visited him in prison, but she didn’t want him dead. Even thinking about possibly visiting Jay in prison made her stumble as Coal led her through the door to the waiting room. The pale green walls and worn out sofas made her want to run. How many people had sat in this very room, waiting to find out if their loved ones were going to make it? How many had received the devastating news that they had died? Would she be handed that same news shortly?
They made their way to the sofa closest to the small beverage stand and he helped her sit down on it before turning toward the coffee pot. Even in the haze of emotions, she was thankful the room was empty. The last thing she wanted was people watching her, wondering what her story was.
“I’ve never visited Tim…I refused to visit him. Once Dad tried to force me but that was the one thing Jay had stood up to him about and he never brought it up again.”
“Drink this.” He pressed a warm mug of coffee into her hand. “If they had something stronger I’d have put it in there but it’s a hospital and they tend to frown on alcohol use in moments like this. I don’t want to leave you alone to find someone to get liquor, either.”
“I don’t want…” She stopped because at that moment a strong drink sounded perfect. Short term relief but still relief for the moment. The problems, grief, and sorrow would all still be there whenever the alcohol wore off but a moment of peace was all she needed. Yet, she went ahead and took a sip of the coffee because she didn’t want him to go anywhere.
The warm liquid helped to center her and keep her focused on the moment. “Even once Dad went to prison, I wouldn’t go to see him. I didn’t want to remember him like that; at least, that’s what I told myself. In truth, the moment he was convicted, I disconnected myself from him. I was embarrassed by the fact he was my father…well, at least at the time I thought he was. With Tim, I was filled with hatred over what he’d done. To this day, I can’t get past it. I can’t look at a picture of him without feeling the rage return. I cut him off and refused to consider him. But even when I knew Jay had committed murder and after everything else he’d put me through, I couldn’t disconnect myself from him. He was all I’ve had for so many years. When Mom died and you left, we got closer. The last year or so has been rough; he’s been under more stress. Instead of talking to me about it, he shut me out. Even after everything that’s happened, I knew I would go see him in prison. I couldn’t just remove myself from him, even after his actions could h
ave cost me my life. Now he’s…” She couldn’t say the word dying, even if she knew that’s what was happening.
“You were always closer to Jay than to Tim, so it was easier for you to close Tim off without the loss you’d suffer now. You dealt with the shit life dished out to you the best way you could. There was nothing wrong with cutting Tim or your father off. They made their choices and you had to do what was best for you.” He sat down on the sofa next to her, his hand on her knee. “I went to see Tim once.”
“When?” She jerked, forcing the coffee to slosh around in the cup, and looked at him. “You never said anything about it.”
“It was almost two years ago, just after Cain turned eighteen. Cain needed to face him to gain closure over what happened but it didn’t help. Tim doesn’t take responsibility for his actions. He still blames the accident on drugs and alcohol. He’s cocky as if he’s done no wrong and now that Pennsylvania has put a stay on the death penalty, he feels he’s got a reprieve. He’ll spend the rest of his life behind bars but he’s still alive, unlike your mom and my parents. He doesn’t have to face the world with the burns that serve as daily reminders to Cain.”
“Tim would never take blame for anything he did. I’m not surprised he hasn’t changed; if anything, from what Jay told me, prison has made Tim harder. I still don’t understand how Dad and Jay had any contact. Dad’s in prison in Waynesburg, an hour away from where Jay was held in the Pittsburgh jail waiting trail.”
“There are always ways to get a message to someone if you need to but it’s possible Jay and your father spoke about not leaving a witness behind before he was arrested. The visits were regular between them, making it easy for him to confide in your father after the murder but before he was arrested. But Jay wasn’t going to kill you.”
She wrapped her hands around the coffee mug and shook her head. “He would have if I hadn’t gone with him. There might be a bond between us but his need for self-preservation would outweigh our family ties. He’d kill me if it meant he might walk away from the murder charges. He knows he’s going down on drug charges, but the sentence would be lighter and he’d have the possibility of being a free man within a few years.”
Until Sydney: A Tanner Cycle Novel Page 14
