by Cathie Linz
Damn, you’d think she’d be used to his brooding dark blue eyes, but no. They still had the power to get to her.
She licked her lips.
“You’re nervous,” he said. He lifted his finger to trace her lips. “You lick them when you’re nervous.”
They were interrupted by the arrival of their food, for which Megan was infinitely grateful. It gave her a chance to recover.
“This is really good,” Logan said after his first taste of his pot roast. “Just about as good as my mom makes.”
“If your mom is such a great cook, why do you need me to cook for you?”
He gave her a heated look. “Because you’re not my mom.”
Okay then. She took a quick bite of her mac and cheese.
“Speaking of family, I haven’t come up with anything new regarding your mother,” he said.
“Faith is going to help me with the search.”
“Does that mean you don’t need me anymore?”
“I didn’t say that.”
His beeper went off before she could elaborate. “It’s work. I’ve got to go.”
It was only after he was gone that she realized he’d hidden the check she’d given him beneath the money he’d left for his portion of the meal. Yet another example of how stubborn the man could be. She felt awkward being so indebted to him. Paying her portion of the motel bill from Last Resort was her way of maintaining her independence.
He’d said at the time that she could pay him back later. But when she tried to do so, he ignored her wishes. Cops were used to being in control, being the boss and being obeyed. All those traits made her leery about getting involved with Logan.
He hadn’t really displayed those more than any other guy, a little voice inside her said. Maybe his pride prevented him from accepting money from her.
Even so, she’d be wise not to forget that Logan was a cop first and foremost. Everything else came in second. It took a special kind of woman to deal with that kind of relationship. And Megan wasn’t at all sure she was that kind.
Chapter Thirteen
After careful consideration, Megan decided it was better to confront Gram about Buddy face-to-face rather than over the phone. With that approach in mind, Megan invited Gram to Saturday afternoon tea at her condo. “Or I could come to your place if you’d rather.”
“No, I need to get out,” Gram said. “I’ve been holed up here too long.”
“I’ll make up a pot of that tea you like and some chocolate chip scones.”
“Sounds wonderful.”
Megan tried not to feel guilty for not telling her grandmother that she also planned on talking to her about Buddy. It’s not like she was scamming her or anything.
Meanwhile, that gave her a few days to figure out what she was going to say to convince Gram. Megan reminded herself that she should also be trying to convince herself that getting involved with Logan was trouble in capital letters. The week passed by quickly with work taking up most of her time, both in the library and at home. She had to bring professional journals home to try and keep up.
The upcoming holidays were always crazy times at the library. They’d made it through Halloween okay. Next up was Thanksgiving. It didn’t escape Megan’s notice that this was a time for families, which made her situation with her mother all the more poignant. She’d lost track of how many times she’d stared at the photos of her mother at Woodstock. What was Astrid doing right now? Was she thinking about the holidays? Was she even in the country?
Thinking about it too much drove her crazy, so she instead concentrated on work. There was plenty of that to go around, especially regarding the ALA committee she was a member of.
Saturday came fast enough with no further contact from Logan. She should have been relieved. Reminding herself that she wasn’t going to dwell on him, she got the scones in the oven and then tidied her condo. Smudge knew all this cleaning was a sign company was coming and didn’t really approve. When Megan got the vacuum out, Smudge gave her a dirty look.
“Maybe I should get one of those Roomba automatic vacuums. I saw a YouTube video of a cat sitting on one of those, happy as a clam. Would you like that, Smudge? Would you like to ride around on a Roomba?”
Smudge stuck her nose in the air and marched down the hall into the bedroom.
“Apparently not. Obviously you think that vacuum riding is beneath you. How about a little dusting with that lovely tail of yours?” she called after her. “I wouldn’t mind a little help with the housekeeping.”
Smudge kept going, sliding under the paisley Shabby Chic bedskirt and disappearing from sight.
Megan waited until that moment to turn on the vacuum. This was a regular ritual. She wouldn’t admit it to a living soul, but there were times when she’d put off vacuuming because Smudge was basking in a pool of sunshine and Megan didn’t have the heart to disturb her. Only another cat person would understand. And even then only one who was as polite as she was.
By the time Gram arrived, the place smelled of baked goods. All the loose papers had been tidied and books put back in their places on the floor-to-ceiling bookcases that lined one wall of her living room.
“Something smells good,” Gram said as she entered. “I brought you some of those Swedish mints you like so much.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to. I also gave some to that nice doorman of yours. What’s his name again?”
“Danny. Danny Boone.”
“That’s a nice name. He’s so polite.”
“Yes, he is.”
“So where’s that cat of yours? Taking a nap again? I swear, that kitty sleeps all day long.”
“It’s officially catnap time.”
“Hmmph. If I don’t take naps, I don’t see why she should. You know, you were brave to adopt a black cat.”
“There was nothing brave about it.”
“I’m just saying that some people are superstitious.”
“You know I always speak up for the underdog. Or undercat, in this case.”
“Yes, you do. That’s one of the things I love about you. And you even apply that to teacups, collecting the orphaned ones from thrift shops.”
“It’s true. I don’t have the heart to leave them by themselves, abandoned. It’s all your fault, you know. You’re the one who got me hooked on serving tea. You invited Faith and me to tea parties as little girls. Faith might be the huge Jane Austen fan, but I’m the huge tea fan. I brewed a pot of Earl Grey, by the way. I hope that’s okay?”
Gram nodded her approval. Tea bags were frowned upon in her view. “It’s true that you took to the concept of serving tea more than Faith did. And I got my love for it from the time I spent with my parents in London, when I was a teenager and they were working at the consulate. It’s rewarding to think that I’ve passed that ritual on to the next generation.”
“You certainly have. As for the teacups and saucers, I only get the ones that call to me. This one, for example.” Megan had set the rustic farm dining table with two teacups from her collection along with a white teapot and matching sugar bowl and creamer. “I loved the red leaves on this one, and the other one has a fall harvest design.”
“And they both go with the carved wooden Dala horse from Sweden I got you. Clever of you to use it as a centerpiece.” Gram nodded appreciatively. “You have a real eye for that kind of thing. Design. Colors. Displays.”
“I do the displays at the library. The current one is on holiday recipes from around the world.”
“Did you include Sweden?”
“Of course I did. And I have a surprise for you.” She went into the kitchen and returned with a plate of cookies. “Chokladbollar cookies. I had some in the freezer and I let them defrost a bit.” The no-bake cookies were favorites of both Megan and her grandmother. “Remember how you taught me to make these when I was a little girl?”
“Yes. The fact that they are ready really fast was always a good thing. Not that you were an im
patient little thing, because you weren’t. You had such a long attention span even at a very young age. You got that from your father.”
“I wonder what I got from my mother.”
“She did not like cooking.” Gram took care of pouring the tea, as she had for as long as Megan could remember. “She didn’t like much aside from mathematics.”
“Did she not like me?” Megan asked quietly.
“What makes you think that?”
“Because she left me. Gave full custody to my father, who paid her.”
“Who told you such a thing?”
“He did.”
Gram’s face reflected her confusion. “But he did not have much money in those days. The company hadn’t become as big as it is now. We were still struggling.”
Megan had to admit she hadn’t thought of that, putting the timeline together that way. She offered Gram a scone before saying, “Maybe he continued to pay her to stay away.”
“I thought you talked with him about this.”
“I tried talking to him but he didn’t say much. He claims he did what he did because he loves me. That he was trying to protect me.”
“You don’t believe him?”
“I don’t know what to believe,” Megan said.
“I know the feeling.”
“You’re thinking of Buddy, aren’t you?”
Gram nodded.
“I don’t think he lied to you on purpose, Gram.”
“He lied by omission. By not telling me about his second marriage.”
“It didn’t last very long. What did he say . . . forty-eight hours?”
“It just makes me wonder what else he hasn’t told me.”
“Yeah, I wonder about that with my dad as well.”
“We make quite a pair, don’t we?”
Megan squeezed her grandmother’s hand. “Yes, we do. A fine pair.”
Gram gave her an innocent look as she asked a naughty question. “So you and Logan really haven’t had sex?”
Megan nearly spewed her tea all over. As it was, she choked, forcing Gram to pat her on the back. “Gram!” she gasped.
“What? You were choking so I hit you on your back. What’s wrong with that?”
“I wouldn’t have been choking in the first place if you hadn’t asked me that question.”
“Which you still haven’t answered.”
“No, we did not have sex. I haven’t known him that long.” Megan couldn’t believe she answered her grandmother’s question. Where was her backbone? Her resolve?
The call from Danny the doorman was a welcome relief. “Miss Megan, your cousin Faith is here to see you. I sent her on up. And please thank your grandmother again for the mints.”
The instant Faith walked in, Gram said, “Megan seems upset that I asked her if she and Logan had sex. We Swedes are more liberal about such things,” she added matter-of-factly. “Sex is nothing to be ashamed of as far as we are concerned.”
Megan slapped her hands over her ears. “I don’t want to hear this.”
Faith pulled Megan’s hands away. “So what did you tell her?”
“That she hasn’t had sex with Logan because she hasn’t known him very long,” Gram said on Megan’s behalf.
Megan and Faith shared a look, both knowing that Faith and Caine had done the deed after their first week together.
“Before I forget, I want to talk to you girls about Thanksgiving,” Gram said. “You know, it’s next Thursday, and we usually celebrate at Jeff and Sara’s.”
Megan nodded. She was dreading the holiday given the awkward situation with her dad and uncle.
“This year we’re having it at my house,” Gram said. “It’s neutral ground. And since everyone always brings their specialty dish it’s not much work. You’ll still bring your cranberry Waldorf salad, right, Megan?”
Again she nodded.
“Faith, you’ll bring your lemon-glazed sweet potatoes?”
Faith followed Megan’s lead and nodded in agreement.
“Excellent. We’ve got that settled then.” Gram checked her watch. “I’ve got to get going. I’ve got a meeting concerning global warming to get to. You do know that Swedes are responsible for the refrigerator and vacuum cleaner, right?”
Even though she didn’t see the connection between vacuum cleaners and global warming, Megan again nodded obediently before hugging Gram and seeing her out.
“Did Gram ask you that kind of question about having sex with Caine?” Megan asked Faith once they were alone.
Faith grabbed a cookie before replying, “I don’t remember, but if she did, I’m sure I managed it better than you did.”
“No way.”
“You blush. It always gives you away.”
“Like you don’t blush too?” Megan scoffed.
“Yes, but I’m a much better liar than you are. My PI training helped with that.”
“Maybe you should teach me how to be a better liar.”
“Why?”
“Because Logan is an outstanding liar. He told me so himself. It’s a requirement in his line of work.”
“Your face is too expressive.”
“I can fix that.” Megan schooled her expression.
Faith laughed. “Now you look like Botox gone bad.”
Megan sighed and sank onto the couch. “My dad is great at lying. I mean, the man lied to me for over twenty years and I never had a clue. Did you have any luck yet finding my mom?”
“Not yet, but I have some promising leads.”
“Logan thought it was suspicious that there was so little information about her in the databases.”
“It’s all in knowing where to look.”
“You mean like searching for her overseas? Do you think she went back to Germany?”
“It’s a definite possibility. And she could have remarried there. She could have more kids.”
“I hadn’t really thought about that as a possibility.”
“I know you haven’t. That’s why I’m bringing it up. To get you used to it just in case. She may not want you to contact her.”
“Is this part of your worst-case scenario philosophy?”
Faith nodded.
“I thought Caine cured you of that.”
“He did, where love is concerned. But where investigations are concerned ...”
“Anything is possible,” Megan finished for her. “Do you think she’s even still alive?”
“I don’t know.”
“She was alive ten years ago for the high school reunion thing.”
“I know. You told me.”
“This not knowing is driving me crazy.”
“I’m sure it is.” Faith sat beside her on the couch and hugged her. “Hang in there.”
“I’m trying to.”
“Meanwhile, maybe having sex with Logan would distract you.”
Megan pulled away.
“What?” Faith laughed at Megan’s outraged expression. “It was just a suggestion.”
“A dumb one.”
“He would be one sexy distraction.”
“I don’t do distractions,” Megan said.
“Maybe it’s time to start. If I didn’t do distractions, I wouldn’t have met Caine.”
“You’re different.”
“No, I’m not.”
“I’ve only had two serial long-term relationships. One with Bryan all through college.”
“I know. And you broke up right after graduation when he got a job in London.”
“He dumped me.”
“You told me the breakup was a mutual thing.”
“I lied. See, I can lie if I have to.”
“What about Andrew?”
“Another four-year relationship,” Megan said. “And it took me a while to get over Bryan and get involved again.”
“But you did with Andrew.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Don’t tell me he dumped you too.”
Megan nodded. “Because I refused to aud
ition for that TV show Amazing Racewith him.”
“Wow.” Faith blinked. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Okay, it wasn’t just the fact that I didn’t want to do that reality show, or any other reality show for that matter. It was a bunch of things. We grew apart. He didn’t want kids. I do. He pretended to like Smudge, but he really wanted me to get rid of her and for him to get a Rottweiler.”
“Yeah, I can see how those things would be deal-breakers.”
“Whenever I asked him where he saw our relationship going, he’d put me off. As time went on, he’d act like he was encouraging me, but would really be putting me down in a subtle way. So subtle I didn’t even get it for a long time. I mean, I didn’t recognize it.”
“Neither did I.”
“He wouldn’t say anything in front of others, but when we were alone he’d say things like, ‘Oh you don’t really want to do that.’ Or, ‘Why do you need to get more books when you already have so many?’ ”
“Uh-oh.”
“I mean, it’s not as if he didn’t like reading too. But once he’d read a book he got rid of it. That was just his way. Which is fine, until he tried to make his way my way.”
“Yes, but Logan isn’t anything like either Bryan or Andrew. Come on, you have to admit they weren’t men of action. They were pretty much geeky brainiacs.”
“I like geeky brainiacs.”
“I know you do.”
“Logan isn’t stupid, if that what you’re insinuating.”
“I wasn’t. I wouldn’t.”
“But he’s not geeky.”
“I didn’t think Caine was, but I’ve seen him get his geek on to go undercover when we were investigating his dad’s death.”
“I’m sure Logan could do ‘geek’ if he was working a case. He wanted me to talk to Gram about Buddy,” she added. “Which I tried to do today. I’m not sure how good I was at it though. You know Buddy better than I do. You worked with him investigating Caine’s dad’s death. You should talk to Gram.”
“Buddy’s not the one who needs convincing. It’s Gram. And you know her as well as I do.”
“Yes, but you could sing Buddy’s praises better because you know him better,” Megan pointed out. “You could list specific things about him to remind Gram of why she loves him.”
