Something Borrowed, Something Boo

by Shane Morton

  Danny was sitting at the bar talking to the bartender, who I am sure he knew because this was after all The Pleasant. I stood up and decided to take a walk around the small garden at the other end of the park.

  It was dark in the park. The lights from the gazebo and the reception lit the trees with gaudy disco beams from Hildy’s set up. Orange, red and purple colored the treetops and made me feel like I was walking through a Monet painting. The sounds of people's laughter filled the air, and I just needed to escape, to get some air and clear my head, away from the happiness that permeated the party.

  The garden was about a half-block away from the festivities, and I found myself moving quickly to make my escape. I entered through the small kissing gate and walked down the stone laden path that was surrounded on all sides by fall foliage and late blooming flowers that would soon give way to winter’s kiss.

  Rounding one of the corners, I spied a small fountain that sat in the middle of a quaint courtyard here in the middle of the picturesque garden. I walked over to it. The fountain was small and made little noise, but the lights lit it perfectly. It was beautiful and unobtrusive, like most everything here in this small idyllic town.

  “Blake, honey? You’re blocking my view.”

  I almost jumped out of my skin. I turned around to find my sweet inn operator, Mrs. Markle sitting on a small bench up against one of the hedges.

  “Mrs. Markle, I didn’t know you were here,” I gasped, my heart racing from the shock of not being alone in the garden. “I just thought I would take a walk and I had never noticed this garden.”

  “Come sit with me,” she said, scooting over a little to make room. The light from the fountain bounced off her illustrious white hair, making her seem a bit unearthly.

  “What are you doing over here?” I asked her sweetly.

  “Escape dear. I love those boys, but I needed a little time for myself,” she shifted her purse from her lap to the ground by her feet. “Weddings always make me remember my dear late husband. Next month would have been our fortieth anniversary,” she confessed sadly to me. “I do wish he could have hung on just a little longer. But sometimes, love is about letting go.”

  “I didn’t want to pry, Mrs. Markle, but I had wondered what happened to your husband,” I said slowly, her words hit me hard. Who was I to feel so bad- when there were people like Mrs. Markle. She had shared a lifetime with her someone else; now she was all alone. Love and happiness had no lifetime guarantee.

  “Oh, yes… Blake honey, why don’t you call me Bonnie. I think we have known each other long enough to stop that Mrs. Bullshit, don’t you?” She reached over and patted me on my knee, and I burst out laughing.

  “Sure, Bonnie,” I replied. “You have a little potty mouth, don’t you?”

  “They’re just words.” She grinned. “We were married for almost thirty-seven years… Almost. He had cancer. He was a very dear man; kind and compassionate and never met a stranger. You would have adored him,” she nodded.

  “Well, I sure adore you.” I put my hand on top of hers and held it.

  “I suppose you are heading home soon? It’s been nice having you in my house, and I will hate to see you leave,” she said sincerely. “I thought you might be staying, at least a little while longer. When Evan booked your room, he said he didn’t know when you would be leaving. I think everyone around here held onto some hope you would find a reason to stay in town.”

  “That’s surprising that Evan told you that. He knew I was only coming for a week.”

  Mrs. Markle… I mean, Bonnie, gave me a knowing smile.

  “Of course… You know Blake, the course of true love never did run smooth. Don’t let the bumps on the path deter you.”

  “That’s Shakespeare, right? I forgot you said you were an English teacher,” I chuckled.

  “Midsummer Night’s Dream… It’s one of my favorites, and I think this is my favorite verse. ‘If we shadows have offended, Think, but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber'd here- While these visions did appear.’ It has a lot of truth to it, that verse.”

  “I was never really good at Shakespeare. The language is so hard to understand,” I shrugged.

  “Oh, bullshit. The language is easy to understand. You just have to not elevate it to something it’s not. It’s a bunch of sex jokes, Blake. Especially Midsummer, but I will admit, he did know how to turn a phrase. That small part of Puck’s speech means to forgive. There has been nothing said or seen that cannot be undone. I thought that might mean something to you today.”

  “You are a brilliant and all-knowing lady, aren’t you? How did you know?” I asked, now knowing I didn’t hide my heartbreak as well as I thought I did.

  “I just have to look at the two of you. Let me guess, Danny either got scared of giving away his heart again, or he believes he is giving you up because it’s what would be best for you? Is that it?” She looked at me seriously, her mouth pinched into a bow while she waited for my reply.

  “That’s it. I decided I wanted to come out, and Danny thinks I am doing it for him and not for myself. He thinks I will regret my choice and hate him for it, I think.”

  “Well, would you?” she tilted her head to the side and smirked. “I don’t think so.”

  “I wouldn’t. I have never felt like this before, and it’s ridiculous because it’s only been five days, but I feel like Danny is the left to my right, you know?” I bit my bottom lip, and she patted my hand.

  “Oh, I think he is. We all do, honey. Don’t give up on him and don’t let him get lost in his bullshit. He has always been the type of person to constantly put himself last, Blake. He only thinks of others and never gives himself a chance. Don’t let him wiggle away. Trust me. He doesn’t want to.” She reached down and opened her purse and pulled out a penny. “This fountain is special. My husband had this garden created when he was mayor. He always said that this fountain granted wishes.” She gave me the penny. “So go make a wish.”

  I stood up and walked to the edge of the fountain with Bonnie. I closed my eyes and made my wish as I tossed the tarnished penny into the middle of the basin. Ripples shot across the water as it landed with a hollow plink.

  “I think that should do it. Now,” Bonnie turned to me. “Walk this old lady back to the party so I can dance my ass off to Madonna. Not to mention, I think you have to get your man back, don’t you?”

  “Bonnie. Truer words have never been said.”

  22

  Danny

  Watching my friends dance to Prince was not how I had initially planned on spending this evening. But, it was playing out that way, and Wally looked like he was having a small seizure on the dance floor. I wish I could have laughed about it and teased him, but levity was not high on my list tonight.

  I was exhausted, emotionally, and mentally, and Everett owed me big time. But, if I were honest, everything I was feeling right now had everything to do with the himbo from Hollywood. I noticed his absence from the party a few minutes ago, and it was killing me not knowing where he was. I was selfish. He wasn’t mine to keep tabs on. I made that decision and had to live with it.

  I crossed across the edge of the dance floor and barely escaped Crystal as she did her best to pull me out onto the dance floor with everyone else. I did love to dance, but my heart was not in the mood, right now.

  I moved over to a table that sat back underneath the beautiful white birch tree over near the corner of our reception area. I nursed my fourth beer of the night and didn’t even have a small buzz, which was depressing. I really wanted to get shit faced, but I knew better. That path would only lead me to an emotional breakdown, at this point.

  I was seriously fucked up, and I couldn’t blame Blake… not really. This was my own path that I was walking down, and I had to live with the emotional fallout.

  “What in the hell are you doing sitting over here by yourself, sweetheart?”

  I turned around and smiled at Sandra. “Have a seat.”

 
; “I bet you are ready to put this wedding shit behind you, aren’t you kiddo? You did a really nice job, Danny. Your Mom and Dad would have been really proud of you. They loved Everett as much as I love you. You’re like my own, kiddo.” She pulled out one of the fabric-covered chairs and plopped down into it, a glass of red wine clutched in her hand.

  “I know, Sandra. I love you too,” I did my best to rally. To hide the sadness that was threatening to become overwhelming to me. I should have known better.

  “Why aren’t you out there shaking it with the rest of them? Too tired from all the planning, honey?” She studied me and sighed, before adding, “It’s a good thing that you had Blake, isn’t it?”

  “It sure was,” I frowned, setting my beer down on the table. I glanced around to see if Blake had reappeared. I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. He was still gone. Had he moved on already? Flown back to LA?

  “He’s not here, honey. I saw him walk over to the other end of the park a little while ago. He seemed about as glum as you. Want to talk about it?” she asked, leaning into me and reaching across to take my hands.

  “I am so confused…” I stopped and shook my head. I looked over at all my friends laughing and glanced back at Sandra. “I think I messed up.”

  “Of course you did,” she smiled sadly at me. “Honey, you never could get out of your own way. For as long as I’ve known you, I have worried that you never thought enough about yourself. It was cute when you were younger, but it’s time for that self-worth to start kicking in, don’t you think?”

  “That’s what Dr. Miranda says too,” I shrugged. I glanced down at the napkin around my beer and started ripping it slowly apart.

  “She’s an amazing woman, and you should listen to her,” she chided. “You know what the best part of messing up is, Danny? You can usually fix it. What are you so afraid of, kid? Being happy? Being a part of something bigger than yourself? Depending on someone else? What?”

  “I’m afraid I’ll let him down, Sandra. That, in his world, I won’t be enough. Look at him and then look at me… I can’t fit into his world. I’m not… well, that.”

  She stared at me for a second and then threw her head back at cackled so loud Hildy glanced over, and she was wearing headphones while she mixed the music for the dance floor.

  “That’s too much, Danny. Jesus! You really had to stretch for that, didn’t you? Why have you never seen yourself the way everyone else sees you. I know you know your good looking and you have the body of an Olympic athlete. I know you know that… But, Danny. You are not good looking…” I stared at her horrified. Did she really think I was… “You are gorgeous and stunning. You are the prettiest boy in Point Pleasant, and you always have been. You are enough. You are smart and talented and caring and compassionate, and everything that you would ever need to be for the person you love. You just have to stop listening to that negative brain of yours.”

  “Thanks, Sandra. That’s very sweet. I know… I am my own worst enemy, I know that, but sometimes that voice of doubt is right, isn’t it? If I stay with him now, I will always wonder if he regrets coming out of the closet for me. I need him to do it for himself. My mother used to have a needlepoint pillow with that stupid saying on it- ‘If you love something, set it free.’ It’s silly but true- if it’s meant to be, he will come back to me. I know it.”

  She looked at me like I had two heads and held up her finger for me to stop. She took a large sip of her wine and set it back down on the table.

  “That’s the stupidest saying on the planet, Danny. It’s not meant to be a life mantra. It’s meant to be an allegory. You can’t force someone to love you, is what it’s trying to say in its overly wrought way, honey. Blake loves you. It’s written all over his face. So stop being Danny Downer and grow a pair. If someone looked at me the way he looks at you, I would never let him go.”

  I looked down at the napkin I had shredded during our conversation. I knew Sandra was right, but I was scared I was, too. I was always afraid, wasn’t I? I mean, I wasn’t frightened of anything external only internal- just whatever I was feeling. I was scared of giving myself totally. I had never been enough for anyone else in my life. My parents left me when I was young, and every man I had ever dated found a reason to disappear, too. But that was them… Not him.

  “You are a very wise woman, Sandra,” I said, glancing over at her. “Thank you. You have given me a lot to think about.”

  “Well, don’t think too long, Danny. This is your window of opportunity, kiddo. Don’t blow it. Take a chance, honey.” She stood up and bent down and wrapped her arms around me. She smelled of roses, and it reminded me of my mother’s perfume. I had to bite my bottom lip to stop myself from weeping. I missed her. What would she tell me to do?

  The music came to a screeching stop right in the middle of Cindi Lauper’s, She-Bop.

  “Hi everyone, can I… uh… have your attention, please?”

  It was Blake. I turned to glance over at the sound booth; he stood there with a microphone in his hand. He glanced around at the crowd, and finally his eyes locked onto mine. The group was silent, waiting to see what the Hollywood actor had to say.

  “I just… uh… I took a walk and… realized that we… uh… skipped one of the biggest traditions of being a part of a… a wedding. We didn’t have a best man’s speech,” he looked nervous and laughed a little as he looked over at his brother.

  “That’s because we didn’t think an actor would be very good at giving a speech,” Evan shouted, his voice carrying over the chirps of crickets. “We watch the Oscars!”

  Everyone laughed, and Everett raised his glass.

  “Well… that may be a… little true,” Blake smiled, dazzlingly. “However, as the brother of the groom and his best man, I am going to take a few minutes to… uh… say a little something.” He blushed.

  “Love is everything. Isn’t it? It makes us… happy… crazy sometimes and uh… I am so blessed to be here to witness Evan giving up his life to,” he paused and the audience snickered. “I mean, to join his life to someone he truly loves. Everett, you- my new brother, are a lucky man. Evan will love you to the end of his days, and I know that you feel the same way. But…” he paused again and let the word sink in.

  “But… I know it wasn’t always so easy. You each had to make concessions for this day to happen, didn’t you?” They both nodded. “Two months ago they broke up,” Blake said seriously. “and… I mean, it was only for two hours, but for that short time, they had no future. It took them… I mean, it took those two hours to realize that each of them had to… well, understand the other from another point of view. It wasn’t about changing each other; it was about accepting who each of them was. They needed to let down the walls they had built around themselves, or at least to build a door so they could let each other in.”

  “I can’t believe you are telling this story,” Everett laughed, as he buried his face in Evan’s shoulder completely embarrassed.

  “Bear with me, brother,” Blake cringed. “Sorry... I’m… uh… winging this up here. I just spoke to Point Pleasant’s number one Shakespeare authority, and she reminded me that sometimes you have to go for it and apologize later. Forgiveness- is also a part of love. But… Oh God, I can’t believe I’m going to try to remember this. I had to say it on an episode of The Lost Valley, and I hope I don’t mess it up.”

  He took a few steps toward me and looked directly at me.

  “Uh… ‘Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds,’” he smiled broadly, but his hands were shaking a little. “Did I get that right Bonnie?”

  “Sure did, Blake.” Mrs. Markle shouted.

  “And that’s why I have to say this… Danny?”

  Everyone turned to look at me. I wanted to crawl under the table, but I couldn’t stop watching Blake. He took another step towards me.

  “I love you,” he said slowly and sincerely. People literally gasped at his admission. “I do. I don’t think I have ev
er or could ever love anyone else as much as I do you and I know… that’s insane… right? Because it’s only been a few days, but my life has been better for them. You make me better, Danny Kincaid and I don’t want to experience life without you. You make me want to be honest and to live my life openly without fear. I’m tired of hiding who I am… and with… or without you… I am going to be who I am… for the rest of my life and I owe part of that to you.”

  Sandra slapped me on the back of the head. “Stand up and go to him, stupid.”

  I stood up, but my feet were glued in place.

  “Danny… I want to be here for you. To experience every day that we can, together… Uh… because I truly believe that home isn’t a place… Home is wherever you are. I think… Uh… What I am trying to say is… Danny, please…” He took a few more steps towards me, shortening the distance between us to only a few feet.

  “I need you to be my boyfriend… to at least try to see if you can put up with me, because I am an asshole, sometimes. I’m selfish and immature and can’t hold a job apparently,” everyone laughed again. “We all deserve a happy ending, Lifeguard. You, me… everyone here, and I’m writing my own ending to this story, and it’s going to be a happily ever after. I might not be the best at everything. But I can do one thing… I think… I can love you, Danny Kincaid, if you’ll let me.”

  I don’t know what happened. I felt thirty pounds lighter. My blood beat through my heart and my body faster than it ever had before; it beat so loud it drowned out the sounds of everything else until there was only silence. I grinned slowly. It spread across my face joyously, and I nodded in his direction. I don’t know how, but it felt as if my feet developed springs underneath them and I closed the gap between us quickly as if wings had appeared on my feet and I threw my arms around him.

  He picked me up and swung me around, and when he set me down, his lips found mine and we were the only two people standing in the park. It was just us, and the fire between us was raging, passing its flames from my lips to his and back into mine, again and again until I heard the roar of my friends and neighbors, their applause finding its way through the chinks of our embrace.