“Based on the size of her uterus, yes.” Something on the doctor’s face disturbed me. “When was your last period?”
“Umm… June? I’ve had a little spotting since I started taking the pills, but when I called the office the nurse said it was normal to have some breakthrough bleeding.” Thinking about these details stripped the gears of my mind. All I could think was ‘baby’.
“I really want you to see an OB/Gyn.” She now wore a poker face that made me miss her smart ass comments. “Let me see if they can work you in today.”
“Is something wrong?” Joe demanded, and my eyes shot to him. His face looked pale. “Can taking the pill hurt the baby?”
“That’s very unlikely. But based on my exam, she really should have seen an OB already. Let me make a call. You can go ahead and get dressed, Molly.”
She unplugged her computer and left the room in a flurry. I sat up and stared at the closed door in shock.
“What the hell just happened?” I turned to Joe, whose gaze met mine. He blinked at me blankly.
“I…I guess we’re having a baby.” He replied. We simply looked at one another for a full minute. Unable to process in my state of shock, I started to dress in a daze. When he spoke again, there was amusement behind his words. “I told you not to open the wrappers with your teeth.”
I whipped my head in his direction and the twinkle in his eyes stunned me. “Joe, this isn’t funny.”
He looked down, appropriately admonished and that made me laugh.
“Okay…it was a little funny. But seriously!” I threw my shirt over my head and felt my cheeks burning. “If it was that night after Mason and Mac’s birthday party-”
“It was.” Joe raked his hand through his hair and blew out a breath at the ceiling. As I slipped my shoes on, I felt a lump form in my throat. The one time we had a condom tear, it was at the least opportune moment possible. I’d already brought up going on the pill and he’d been understandably in favor of the idea. We just hadn’t made time in our schedules to get things done. When the condom broke, Joe freaked out and sprang into action. He’d made an appointment the following morning to get tested for everything since I’d already run that STD marathon after Draven’s affair and knew I was clean. Meanwhile, I tried not to panic, but I made an appointment with my doctor for birth control and pregnancy test. I thought we’d covered our bases. I shook my head.
I guess I should have pressed them to draw blood.
As I picked up my purse, I noticed my hands were trembling. I stiffly sat back down on the exam table, afraid to even look in Joe’s direction.
“Molly?” There was marked trepidation in his voice.
“Yeah?” I stared at the tile patterns on the floor. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
He reached out for me and stroked my hair. I nervously shifted my gaze toward him, but I still didn’t dare look him in the eye. When he spoke, his voice sounded thick. “It’s gonna be okay.”
Before I had a chance to respond, the door swung open and the nurse hurried back again. She looked flustered as she handed me a business card.
“Alright. They can work you in as soon as you can get there. But you need to go now.”
“Is this really necessary? Can’t I just go tomorrow?”
“The doctor said ASAP. The OB/GYN agreed.” I may not know anything about medicine, but I know people. She looked nervous. I had a feeling she wasn’t telling me everything. She rushed us out the door and once we were outside in the sunshine, the entire event seemed surreal. I forced myself to meet Joe’s eyes, and was comforted by the fact that he no longer looked as white as a sheet. He took my hand and started in the direction of the truck.
“Let me see where this place is.” Joe held out his hand for the business card. I handed it over to him and when he read the address, he stopped in his tracks. He closed his eyes with a heavy exhale.
“What?” I asked, a feeling of foreboding overtaking me. I was afraid to hear his answer.
“Dr. Myers was Jess’s OB.” His voice had a rough edge. I cringed a little at the mention of his dead wife and the bite I heard when he said the doctor’s name.
“Oh.” I whispered. He pinched the bridge of his nose and then looked up at the blue sky as if gathering himself.
“She’s a really good doctor.” He added, as if he’d sensed my apprehension. I noticed he didn’t look in my direction, and I realized just how terrified I was.
“Okay.” I responded, climbing into the truck. It was the first time I could remember Joe not opening the door for me. I figured he was distracted and couldn’t blame him.
We arrived at the OB/GYN office at 3:30 and scrambled in our bewildered state to fill out the lengthy questionnaires and medical histories. In retrospect, it was probably for the best that we had something to focus on. We were just finishing the last form when they called us back.
The nurse requested more urine from me, weighed me again, and measured my height. Then she hurried us into an exam room.
“New OB visit! How exciting! Congratulations. Can I just say that y’all are a gorgeous couple? I’m sure you’ve made a beautiful baby!” Her toothy grin would have had me laughing along with her any other day. Instead, Joe and I both murmured an awkward ‘thanks’. She paused at our lackluster response, and after another quick look at my chart, she shifted gears to an ultra-professional manner.
As she took my vitals, she started in with a barrage of questions. When she asked the first day of my last period, I gave her the information and Joe chimed in that we were pretty sure about the date of conception. She took down both dates and informed us that based on our responses my due date was April 4th. Joe and I simply looked at one another blankly. We responded glumly to all her additional questions until she asked my family history and discovered my brothers were twins.
“Identical or fraternal?”
“Fraternal.” I replied and she raised her eyebrows as her fingers flew over her keyboard. I realized I was starving and glanced at my phone to see it was 4:15. I needed to eat something but the thought of throwing up again depressed and exhausted me. She blew through several more questions before we hit another roadblock.
“Are either of you of Jewish decent.”
“I am.” Joe chimed in. “On my mom’s side.”
“And you?” She turned to me.
“No.” I shook my head, wondering what on earth Joe’s being Jewish could have to do with anything relevant. “Not that I know of. Why?”
“There’s a genetic disorder called Tay-Sachs associated with Jewish parents. You shouldn’t have to worry about it. Both parents have to have the gene. Well, that was the last of the questions. This is for you.” She smiled and handed me a bag full of samples and coupons. Then she nodded to the gown on the exam table. “Go ahead and change. The doctor will be in shortly.”
I started to undress for the second time in awkward silence. Simply put, I was trying to keep from losing my shit. Joe and I hadn’t even talked about kids. We’d been too busy trying to figure how we fit into each other’s lives to get into any of the serious conversations. Hell, we’d hardly dated at all before we moved in together, much to the astonishment of most of our friends and family.
Pregnant.
A baby.
This just couldn’t be real.
I’d always been careful. I’d been completely anal about taking my birth control when I was married to my ex. Before I realized Draven wasn’t parent material, I had most definitely wanted to have kids. Once I saw his temper in action, I was terrified of getting pregnant. I quickly decided I didn’t want to bring a defenseless target for his anger into our house. But ‘pre-Draven Molly’ had wanted to have babies.
Someday.
But that hypothetical ‘someday’ was usually tied to something stable and permanent, or at least a lot more solid than what I had with Joe. And Joe…well, he was still recovering from losing his son who’d died before he’d even had a chance to hold him. I knew he
wasn’t ready for this. How could he be? Would he even want me to have it?
I shook my head.
Of course he’ll want me to have it. This was Joe.
I felt on the verge of bursting into tears. Joe inhaled like he was about to speak when a loud rap on the door made me jump. A tall, statuesque blonde strode purposefully in and smiled brightly at me.
“Hi, Molly. I’m Kate Myers.”
“Hi.” My response sounded meek. I was afraid if I said anything else my voice would crack and the floodgates would open. I’d already reached my quota of tears for the decade.
“Sounds like it’s been a day full of surprises.” Her sapphire eyes were full of empathy and she turned to Joe with an outstretched hand. The smiled on her face immediately vanished. “Joe?”
“What’s up, doc?” Joe gave her a soft smile and I felt every hair on my body stand on end. Watching the silent exchange between the two of them was like getting a glimpse into the past. I suddenly felt like an intruder.
“It’s great to see you again.” She sounded genuine, and Joe managed a nod in return. She turned back to me and she seemed to reassess me, her eyes resting on my forearm tattoos. I assumed I must have been a bit of a shock to her after the fair and lovely Jessica but Dr. Myers smiled at me again, kindness emanating from her.
“Go ahead and lie back for me, Molly. I want to measure your uterus and I need to press on you in order to do that thoroughly. It might be a bit tender, but I promise it won’t take long, okay?”
I nodded and did as she asked. She used a cloth tape, measuring and re-measuring. When she pushed on me, it was more pressure than I’d expected and I winced and then bit my lip, afraid I’d look like a wimp.
“Well, I can see why she sent you over. You measure a bit bigger than we’d expect you to for eight weeks.”
“How much bigger?” Joe asked, and I shot him a curious look.
“She’s measuring like she’s about ten or eleven weeks along. We usually like to see our new moms at about ten weeks. I’d like to take you down the hall for an ultrasound so we can make sure we’re right about the due date.”
“We’re pretty sure. It was pretty memorable.” I replied with a glance at Joe.
“It might just be a big baby in there, then.” She grinned, but she didn’t look convinced. “Humor me.”
She gave me a robe and I stood on shaky legs to put it on. Joe ran a comforting hand along my back as we followed her down the hall to another room. It was dimly lit, and a butch woman in scrubs was clicking away on the computer. Butch gestured to the table. Joe helped me onto it and the doctor joined the technician on the opposite side. The technician pulled out an apparatus that looked like a large white dildo.
“What the hell is that?” I demanded, turning bulging eyes to Joe. He looked as confused as I did, so I turned back to the doctor expectantly.
“It’ll be more accurate if we do the ultrasound transvaginally, Molly.” Her kind expression soothed my frayed nerves, but my heart still hammered in my chest. “It’ll be a little uncomfortable, but it won’t take long.”
I nodded, but reached out for Joe. He was right there, immediately leaning onto the table and taking my hand.
“Look at me, Molly.” He whispered, and I did. He pulled my hand to his lips as the tech basically violated me with the cold, unyielding wand. I tightened my grip on him, and focused on steadying my breathing.
Joe smiled sympathetically, and I closed my eyes as he softly stroked my cheek. Completely overwhelmed, I swiped at a tear that escaped before I could blink it away. He brushed my bangs off of my forehead and kissed it, his eyes reassuring. Then he glanced over at the two women and I saw his expression sober. I whipped my head in their direction. They exchanged a long, knowing glance.
“What is it?” Joe’s gritty voice sounded grim. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing at all. Your due date looks right. About 7 to 8 weeks along.” The doctor replied, swiveling the monitor in our direction. Even though I’d never been through an ultrasound before, I’d seen it in the movies. It looked all wrong to me. “See? Two placentas, two heartbeats. Congratulations, you two! You’re expecting twins.”
Joe unlocked the door and held it open for me. I wandered into the dark apartment, numbly tossing the folders, pamphlets, samples and newly filled prescriptions onto the table. I dropped my purse in the middle of the floor and marched directly to the bathroom. Turning on the bathwater, I poured in too much bubble bath and stripped off all of my clothes. I’d been poked, prodded and completely violated. A warm bath sounded like a cure.
When I’d woken up that morning, I’d been worried I might have an ulcer. Now I was eating for three. All of my mother’s war stories about having twins came rushing forward from the dark recesses of my mind. Stretch marks, engorged breasts…sore nipples, weeks without sleep…
I dropped to my knees in front of the toilet and vomited again. This time there wasn’t much left in my stomach. We’d driven straight from Dr. Myers’s to the pharmacy to get the prenatal vitamins, extra iron supplements and the expensive pills to control my vomiting. We hadn’t eaten anything for dinner and I was in no mood to cook.
I forced myself to brush my teeth, though I nearly gagged again and then I slipped into the steaming bath. Exhausted, I rested my head against the cool tile of the wall behind me. Staring down at the pale flesh of my belly, I wondered how my family was going to react to our news. They all loved Joe…probably more than they loved me. Granny was sure to enjoy the opportunity to paint me in a scarlet letter, but it was Mac and Mason I was most concerned about. My brothers had an odd way of reacting to Joe and me, considering they’d all been like The Three Musketeers since forever.
“Molly?” Joe’s deep voice resonated through the closed door.
“Come in.” I sat up and a small stream of bubbles sloshed over the side of the tub. I tossed my towel onto the spill just as Joe entered the room. He handed me my favorite cup full of ice water and a pill.
“Zofran.” He explained, and recognizing the name of the drug, I took it. The doctor had insisted I needed to force fluids and that I had to eat something and keep it down.
“Thanks.” His eye held mine and I suddenly felt very shy. Breaking off our stare down, Joe closed the toilet seat and sat down, folding his muscular arms across his chest.
“You know, you have to be careful about how hot that water is…”
“Why?” I knitted my eyebrows, truly confused.
“It’s not good for…” He trailed off and I watched his gorgeous eyes migrate to my mid-section. A striking realization hit me. From this moment forward, there would never be another conversation about us. From now on, it would always be about all of us. “The babies.”
I exhaled and settled further under the water. “I’m sorry.”
He took a turn looking confused. “For what?”
“That we’ve just landed in a situation we’re not ready for.” I felt beads of sweat standing on my upper lip. His warning about the temperature ate at me, and I considered turning on the cold water. The doctor said the babies were about the size of two grains of rice, and here I was already in danger of messing them up.
“Well in that case, I’m sorry too.” The matter of fact way he said it made me flinch.
He noticed and unfolded his arms. He sat forward, an apology splashed all over his face.
“Okay, that sounded really bad. Let me start over…”
“You don’t need to.” I looked away, reaching for the soap.
“Listen to me.” He moved to sit on the side of the tub and placed a hand on my knee. “You and me? This… it’s what I want. This is not how I imagined us starting a family, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.”
“So you’re saying you want me to keep them.” I looked up at him from under my damp lashes. He blinked in astonishment then a sound escaped him that was like a wounded animal. When he spoke, his voice was thick and husky.
“What the hell k
ind of a question is that? What kind of monster do you…why wouldn’t I…” His voice held enough pain to bring tears streaming out of my eyes. “Don’t you?”
“Yes.” I said cautiously. His response scared the hell out of me, but from the moment the doctor pointed out the tiny pulsations on the computer screen, I’d had no doubt. “I want them.”
Joe’s face lit up and he leaned forward, practically falling into the tub with me. He kissed me several times before pulling himself away from me. The outrage and hurt from a moment before had vanished, which I considered more disturbing than their appearance in the first place. “Okay. Let’s get married.”
I exploded in bewildered laughter, a strange sensation considering the fresh tears hadn’t yet dried on my cheeks. I shook my head. “Like hell.”
“I’m serious.” His smile faltered just a tiny bit.
“So am I.” My retort was gentle, but firm. “This is 2014, Joe. I’m not going to roll over and marry you because you’ve put a couple of buns in my oven.”
“You don’t want to marry me?” The smile had evaporated and he looked hurt again. That expression on him killed me, but I’d always promised I’d never lie to him.
“Not like this. I don’t want some quickie shotgun wedding. It never ends well. It’s just a bad idea right now.
“I respectfully disagree.” He argued, his soulful eyes imploring me to listen to reason. “Our babies are a perfectly valid reason to take the plunge. And you and I? We love each other. So why the hell not?”
“Wow. What woman could resist such a romantic proposal?” I rolled my eyes and grinned. He flushed beet red, and seeing his reaction made me feel like a total bitch. I reached for his hand, and luckily, he let me take it. “Baby, don’t misunderstand me. There’s no one else I’d rather have for my ‘baby daddy’. It’s just…we’ve already got a major dilemma to contend with. Let’s not add another, okay?”
He was quiet for a long moment and I felt breathless, wondering if I’d just pushed him too far. His outburst troubled me, but only a little. Joe was nothing but gentle with me, and it was fair for him to get emotional about this unprecedented debacle. Finally, he looked up from the floor. “So I guess we should call our families.”
Mollywood (Carved Hearts #2) Page 4
