“—Gwaa!!”
The next moment, his back was slammed against something hard, wringing out an anguished groan along with all the air from his lungs.
He felt something extremely hard pressing against his back—which turned out to be a fat tree trunk. The palm digging into the center of his abdomen was holding him so far up against the tree that his feet didn’t even reach the ground.
As Subaru moaned in pain, the culprit, Garfiel, glared at him from up close and said, “—And where the hell did you see that?”
“Whaddaya mean where…? Inside, the forest…was right there for the seeing.”
“Ain’t no way ya could have been there. Stop tryin’ to fool me if ya don’t wanna end up squished flat.”
An audible creak accompanied the increase in pressure, causing drool to spill out as Subaru writhed in agony at the churning his internal organs were going through. Twist as he might, he couldn’t even make Garfiel’s hand twitch.
“Don’t move a muscle, land dragon. You do and I’ll crush your precious master.”
Garfiel moved to check Patlash, who was about to make a move to rescue Subaru from his suffering. The land dragon snarled in frustration, lowering her center of gravity as if waiting for an opening.
Upon reflection, these two foul-tempered personalities—one man and one beast—had been at odds ever since their first meeting. This explained why Garfiel had been the cause of Patlash’s death during a previous run.
Of course, neither of the two concerned knew anything about that—and when Subaru thought about it, he felt his agony ease somewhat.
“…The hell’s…wrong with you? Why are you smilin’ at a time like this?”
“S…orry, just…remembered something… Made me laugh…”
“—You’re off your rocker, damn it.”
“Whoa?! The heck are you…?”
With a low murmur, Garfiel suddenly let Subaru go. Unable to break his fall, Subaru tumbled to the ground, immediately glaring at Garfiel as he wondered what the big idea was—and then he realized it.
Resting in Garfiel’s eyes was disgust—and a faint trace of fear.
“Garfiel, you’re…”
“Shaddap, madman. This ain’t funny. Damn it, you were testin’ me, weren’t ya?”
“”
Pressed into silence, Subaru touched a hand to his throat as he let out a light cough. He sensed Patlash rushing right over to his side; during that time, Garfiel moved a fair ways back.
“You knew ya might be killed then and there, damn it. This ain’t no joke. How can ya can smile when your own life is on the line? Ya lost your mind!”
“When you put it like that, it’s kinda hurtful, you know… I’m not exactly calm and composed here.”
Smiling weakly at Garfiel’s statement, Subaru scratched his head.
On one level, what he’d said was correct; on another, it was not. Fact was, Subaru’s hands were shaking, and his stomach hadn’t stopped crying out from convulsion-like pains. Mistaking his demeanor for composure was a considerable misreading.
But it was also a fact that he’d intentionally provoked Garfiel fully knowing it put his life at risk.
—After all, he had to be certain of what drove Garfiel to anger, what was making him explode.
This was an investigation Subaru had purportedly kicked down the road when he previously decided to prioritize the mansion. But it wasn’t a move he would refuse to play if granted a golden opportunity. There was no denying that his life had been in danger as a result, but—
“—If my life’s payment enough, I’ll use it to get the results I want.”
If the only sacrifice that needed to be paid was in Subaru’s heart, he might as well buy something worthwhile with it. If he could cheaply obtain a piece of the puzzle that eventually led to an optimal conclusion, he’d risk his life as many times as it took.
No doubt his determination had been conveyed to Garfiel. Looking revolted from the bottom of his heart, his teeth groaned as he spat a reply.
“I know a bastard who has the same eyes as you do. Me, I hate his guts. Hell, I should crush your head right now while I have the chance.”
“I think that’d end up being a problem for both of us. If possible, I’d like you to let me go with a generous heart.”
“What proof do I have that lettin’ ya go here won’t be bad for us lat—”
“—I won’t betray Emilia. I won’t do anything that’ll harm the Sanctuary, either. Believe me.”
Brushing dirt off his body, Subaru declared his innocence to Garfiel’s suspicious heart.
This was a gamble. If Garfiel suppressed his hesitation and decided to eliminate Subaru then and there, his life could be forfeit at any moment. But from Subaru’s point of view, there was still time before that moment arrived.
“”
Garfiel was unsure what to do. There was no doubt that if Subaru crossed the line, Garfiel’s fangs would mercilessly fall upon him. But this time, he hadn’t crossed that threshold yet.
Accordingly, Garfiel was at a loss as to whether he should put away his fangs and his claws or not—
“—So you’re letting me go. Fine if that’s how I take this?”
“Don’t get cocky. Get lost before I change my mind.”
Lowering his arms, Garfiel spat out his decision as he moved to the side, seemingly yielding the path to Subaru. His demeanor brought a low growl from Patlash, but Subaru held out a palm to stop her.
Some might say that he had both won the gamble and lost. Either way, this time he’d apparently managed not to cross the line with Garfiel.
“Now that you’re letting me go, mind answering my third question from earlier?”
“I said don’t get cocky. Geluugel does not forgive twice, damn it.”
“That so. Guess it was too much to ask for, then.”
That sour reply made Subaru’s shoulders sink as he promptly backed off. Subaru proceeded to mount Patlash as Garfiel kept regarding him with suspicion.
“You don’t wanna talk. I have no way of forcing you to talk. Betting on tears to sway you has bad odds, so I won’t push it this time. I’m saving you for later.”
“This time…? Later…? What the hell are ya talkin’ ab—?”
“Don’t act all mystified, Garfiel. I know you’re hiding something. But I’m going to expose it. That’s an absolute certainty. Because that’s what needs to be done.”
Subaru’s plainspoken announcement made Garfiel open his eyes wide. His gaze met with Subaru’s. However, this time Subaru was not afraid of that sharp stare.
The power behind Subaru’s and Garfiel’s eyes as well as the pair’s standpoints had been reversed. Garfiel ought to have been overwhelming with his clear advantage in brute force, but he was being held in check by Subaru’s bottomless determination.
As if refusing to admit what was happening, Garfiel clacked his fangs once more.
“…Shut up. If I silence you right here, right now, then that ‘absolute certainty’ goes poof, too.”
“Sorry, but this won’t change. As long as I don’t give up, the moment I know someone’s hiding a secret, it’s not a secret anymore. If you’re gonna blame something, blame your carelessness.”
Garfiel, not knowing the meaning behind the cumulative weight of Subaru’s words, was beset by total confusion. He had no way of knowing the meaning of Subaru’s choice of the word “carelessness,” because it wasn’t him, but another Garfiel from a previous time that was responsible. And this was both a future him and a him that already was destined never to arrive.
—They were looking at different realities. They were seeing different numbers of possibilities. That was what separated them.
“Do you still want to try and stop me, Garfiel?”
“I—I…”
“If you do, all it’s gonna accomplish is waste time. It’d be helpful if you don’t anymore.”
If Subaru lost his life at this very moment, he’d have to re
start from last night in the tomb. Re-creating the exact same conditions to make sure he reached the same point again would be back-breaking work. —Not that he couldn’t do it.
“Damn it…curse you! Why are you here?! What are you trying to do to us?!”
If he didn’t plan on stopping them, then Subaru was just about ready to order Patlash to go right around him. Garfiel’s voice, which sounded pathetic as it echoed through the forest, made Subaru sigh deeply.
“I told you my objective is to save Emilia. I don’t have any intention of doing harm to the Sanctuary… I’m not trying to do anything to you and your people.”
Far from hurting anyone, Subaru’s only goal was but to extend a helping hand.
First and foremost, he was thinking of Emilia and company of course, but it applied to Ryuzu and the residents of the Sanctuary, too. He had no qualms about adding Garfiel to the list. Just—
“—In the time before I get there, I’ll probably make you hate me a few times more. Let me apologize in advance for that. Really, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t get it, I don’t get it, I don’t get it, I don’t get it… I don’t get it!”
Garfiel rejected everything he could not understand. Subaru was intimately familiar with that behavior. If only I could make him understand somehow, he thought. But he acted the way he did because he didn’t think that was possible.
When Subaru emitted a sigh heavily laden with resignation, it sparked Garfiel’s indignation and made him explode—
“The hell do ya think you are, lookin’ down on us?! Who the hell asked you to do anything?! It’s none of your… You don’t know anythin’ about this place, anythin’ about the old hags; you don’t know nothin’!!”
“I know I don’t know. Actually, it’s precisely because of that thought that I’m doing this.”
“Whaddaya think ya can do just scratchin’ the surface and coming around with nothin’ but pretty words?! Smilin’ all frivolous, talkin’ only about stuff like it’s a dream, foolin’ people with words to make ’em comfortable—you’re nothin’ but a charlatan son of a bitch!”
“”
“Someone who ain’t known pain and ain’t known suffering shouldn’t run his mouth like he understands!!”
Unable to tear down Subaru’s knowing face, Garfiel remained indignant as he shouted.
Garfiel’s jeer was swallowed up by the far reaches of the daybreak sky. Faced with the distant echo of those bladelike words, Subaru gripped his reins. Patlash changed direction and began to walk.
Leaving Garfiel behind, Subaru turned his back to the Sanctuary to look ahead toward the forest’s exterior.
—Garfiel had said Subaru looked down on him, pretending like he knew things, butting into things he didn’t understand.
Everything Garfiel said was true. Subaru was probably wrong about everything.
Nonetheless, he would say one thing.
“—I do know.”
“”
“I know Hell. —I’ve already seen it, over and over.”
If there was a Hell to be found here, then it must have been in many of the worlds Subaru had seen so far.
Countless times, when the end of the world arrived, Subaru had seen Hell again and again, enough to make him want to avert his gaze; it was burned into his eyes, seared into his body, and forever lodged into his mind.
That was why he said that to Garfiel.
He said it confidently, hoping to put him at ease. He left behind a smile, so that he might find some courage—
“—I’m the only one who needs to know what Hell is. That’s what I’m here for.”
CHAPTER 3
A FOUR-HUNDRED-YEAR-OLD CRY
1
When Subaru passed through the gate, slipping through the front courtyard, he looked up at the sun overhead.
Its position in the sky was a bit inclined to the west. Based on that, the time seemed to be a little past noon.
Roughly half a day since leaving the Sanctuary, Subaru emitted a light sigh as he finally arrived before the majestic facade of Roswaal Manor. It was a sigh of relief that he’d at least made it safely that far.
“Could you not show me such a flabbergasted-looking face?”
“…I am not flabbergasted whatsoever. I am merely surprised at your exceedingly quick return.”
Saying this was a tall, golden-haired woman whose jade eyes were open wide—Frederica. Coming out to receive the arriving guest, she was beside herself when she noticed it was Subaru in the entryway. From her point of view, he’d returned after only a single day, a virtual somersault. It was natural for her to be surprised.
—However, to Subaru, his time away had been one of repeated upheaval.
“I have a reason for the quick turnaround… It relates to you, too.”
“…And so you have returned alone? You did not bring Lady Emilia with you?”
“You know full well why Emilia can’t leave the Sanctuary, right? You don’t need to put on an act. I think you’ll find I’ve returned a lot better informed than you might assume.”
Tension was gripping Frederica, something Subaru intended to relieve as he raised both of his hands. He didn’t want to spark any fruitless arguments. His suspicions about Frederica had already been cleared up once before.
He believed she was positively uninvolved in both the raid on the mansion and the calamity occurring in the Sanctuary.
All she had done was give Emilia that crystal, offered several false pieces of information about the barrier, and refused to explain who had commanded her to do so.
—That said, the secret she was keeping close to the chest was one he absolutely had to expose…
“…Come to think of it, I’ve sworn to expose the secrets of brother and sister alike. Man, I’m a disagreeable guy.”
“Are you speaking to yourself? Also, the way you are staring at my breasts… Y-you mustn’t…?”
“I won’t go so far as to say I’m not interested in them, but that’s not what I’m thinking, okay? Anyway, let’s…”
“—Huh?! Subaru?!”
When Frederica noticed the inappropriate place he had let his gaze linger, she reacted by hiding her cleavage and squirming away. Right as Subaru started claiming that it was a misunderstanding, a lively, high-pitched voice rang out. He could hear energetic footsteps approaching as a small, adorable girl in a maid outfit—Petra—raced down to the pair.
“Wah! You came back really fast, didn’t you?!”
Lining up beside Frederica, Petra looked up at Subaru, her eyes sparkling with delight at his return. Her reaction made Subaru cross his arms and turn his eyes toward Frederica.
“Hey, see that? This is what a maid’s supposed to be like.”
“Petra is a special case. I am simply not as charming… Ahhh, so cute.”
“—? Su… Master Subaru, Miss Frederica, is something wrong?”
Petra tilted her head, looking puzzled by the exchange between the pair. Glancing at Frederica, who was enraptured by the adorable sight, Subaru patted his own chest in relief.
Petra and Frederica. He was truly glad that he was able to reunite with both of them safe and sound.
Getting to meet Petra again was making the corners of his eyes particularly hot. —After all, Subaru’s last memory of Petra was from the height of the tragedy at the mansion, when he grieved at seeing her reduced to only an arm.
“…Master Subaru?”
“Nah, I was just thinking, seeing Petra heals my heart sooo much. Seeing your face is a serious relief. Come to think of it, Petra, this time around, you’re the only one I can talk to without worrying about anything.”
As Petra watched with upturned eyes, Subaru flashed a smile and stretched a hand toward her. He proceeded to stroke her reddish-brown hair as if he was combing it, something she happily accepted.
“Master Subaru, let us put that envia— That charming cuddling for later. You wanted to speak with me, yes?”
“Sounded like a b
it of your true feelings slipped through for a second there, but not dragging things out is a big help… Is talking in the lounge okay?”
“I shall be there with tea. Petra, show him in.”
“Yes, Miss Frederica. Master Subaru, this way, please.”
Briskly dividing their duties, Frederica headed to the kitchen while Petra pulled Subaru’s hand as she guided him along.
“”
The moment Subaru began walking into the mansion, the urge to head to Rem’s room instantly sprouted inside of him.
However, Subaru suppressed that impulse out of a sense of duty. At that moment, he felt that if he prioritized his desire to meet her, something precious to him would break.
For a short while, he would carefully, carefully hide Rem deep within the confines of his consciousness—
“…Come to think of it, there’s something I have to say to you, Petra.”
“—? What is it?”
“Thank you for the charm, Petra. It saved me. Probably in a different way than you intended, though.”
As Petra walked not so much ahead of him than in a more normal side-by-side manner, Subaru showed her the handkerchief wrapped around his right wrist as he conveyed his gratitude. That handkerchief had truly saved him in an unexpected way.
“Really? I helped Subaru?”
“Yeah. It saved my li— Well that’s not quite exactly how it saved me but pretty close.”
“—? —? I don’t really get it, but I’m glad! That makes me really happy!”
Easily accepting even Subaru’s vague, half-baked reply, Petra’s face broke into a brilliant smile, something that brought a great measure of peace to Subaru’s mind.
—Enough to make Subaru firmly swear to his heart that this smiling face was one of the things he had to protect.
2
When Subaru returned to the front entrance, Petra was staring at him with her cheeks sourly puffed up.
There was not even a hint of the smiling face that Subaru had vowed to defend just under an hour before. With her red face and wet eyes projecting dissatisfaction with all their might, Subaru felt distinctly ashamed of himself.
Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 12 Page 10
