A silence fell for a time, and the only sound reverberating inside the room was that of the wind and blowing snow smacking the window. That silence, in which not even the sounds of breathing could be heard, seemed to course for eternity—until it abruptly ended.
“Subaru.”
After his name came up, gazes turned toward him, and Subaru waited in silence for what would follow.
With Subaru taking that posture, Roswaal left a pause before he continued. “—You heard that from me, I take it?”
Subaru did not understand what the question meant.
Subaru had anticipated a number of responses from Roswaal. Excuses, being shaken, attempts to gloss things over, violence—but this result was different from everything he’d surmised.
Naturally, faced with a question he did not understand, he could not even imagine what answer was being sought.
“Mm-mmm… I see. I see. I seeee…… How disappointing.”
Facing the suspicion swirling in Subaru’s black eyes, Roswaal nodded, his face giving an answer that went far beyond words. From his sunken face and voice, it was immediately clear that this was not the answer he yearned for.
The sight threw Subaru off. It felt to him like the man known as Roswaal—despite being heavily wounded, face pale—had literally fallen from his standpoint and clear through the realm of normal men. But—
“—Ya ain’t gonna deny it, are ya?”
The angered Garfiel paid no heed to the change in Roswaal. To him, the important thing was not Roswaal’s sentiments but the identity of the culprit behind the menace assailing the Sanctuary.
Faced with that blame, Roswaal seemed numb to it, letting a heavy sigh trickle out.
“I could assert my innocence, but you are hardly one to politely accept that at this juncture, yes? You came here because you possess more than adequate reasons for doing so. Should I not pay this the proper respeeeect?”
“Respect! Respect, huh?! Ha, well ain’t I grateful. Milkiss had no line of retreat! Maybe it’s high time I paid that excess of stupidity proper respect, yaaah?!”
To Roswaal, who acknowledged the suspicions against him, Garfiel unleashed a sharp exhale and stepped forward. In the cramped confines of the room, it was only a few paces from the entrance to the bed. He easily closed the distance in a single second. Riding that momentum, Garfiel moved to grip the self-possessed Roswaal’s throat.
Was restraint really going to hold back strength whipped up by anger? Fearful of this, Subaru tried to raise his voice. But faster than Subaru could speak, a figure circled in front of Garfiel and spoke up.
“—I told you, Garf. I shall permit no rudeness toward Master Roswaal.”
Now directly in front of the outstretched arm, Ram pushed out her modest chest, blocking its path with her body. For an instant, the prospect of hurting someone he cared for made anger and hesitation rise up in his eyes and then some form of determination.
Guessing that this determination was, in truth, the will to remove even Ram from his path, the color of Subaru’s face changed. In fact, in a previous loop, he had seen Garfiel take Ram’s life once already—
“Ram. You are truly a fine servant.”
—Accordingly, Subaru’s reaction to that sentence was thoroughly late in coming.
Wary of Garfiel’s violent actions and concerned for Ram’s safety, Subaru knitted his brows, perplexed. There was nothing odd per se about the sentence just now. Just as he stated, Roswaal was praising Ram for her attempt to defend her master.
That wasn’t the problem. Roswaal, lying on his side on the bed last anyone checked, was not trying to get up. He was not glaring at Ram and Garfiel, either.
But Subaru felt like something strange had entered his eyes. Not finding a reason for why he was getting a bad feeling, Subaru’s bewilderment deepened his irritation as he desperately groped for some kind of answer.
And finally, that ill feeling took tangible form.
“”
Huh, the heck? There’s a person’s arm sticking out from Garfiel’s back…
He could see a human arm, complete with five wriggling fingers, thrusting through the center of his torso and out his back.
“Go-fu…!”
Garfiel’s body shuddered greatly, seemingly moving while time had stopped.
The back of his vest was dyed by a creeping vermilion as his knees buckled, crumpling then and there. When Garfiel’s knees hit the floor, the arm vanished from his back. Instantly, blood gushed out from the wound that it had been plugging.
“—Eh?”
As Garfiel went down on his rear, Ram and Roswaal were looking down at him.
And as Ram watched Garfiel collapse in a pool of blood, coming out of her chest was…
“Ros…”
“I have not reneged on my promise. I offer this soul to you.”
When frailly, Ram attempted to call out his name, Roswaal interrupted her, speaking those words in an exceedingly gentle voice.
From behind, he preciously embraced Ram’s thin body, softly stroking her pink hair with his left hand. Ram seemed entranced by his touch, her cheeks reddened as a charming smile came to rest upon her face.
—From the corner of the lips forming that charming smile came out a delayed spill of fresh blood.
Of course it did. Her chest had been run straight through from the back.
“”
The spectacle made Subaru recall another he had seen up close. The sight of Beatrice impaled was superimposed over that of Ram.
The arm was pulled back. Without anything to support it, Ram’s body tumbled forward. It was Garfiel who caught her, profusely bleeding himself. The blood-ridden pair embraced each other.
“Gah… Ros…ra, mm… Ram, Ram, Ram, Ramramramramrammm…!!”
In an instant, a heart governed by hatred was smashed to pieces by the sight of wounds on the his beloved.
Calling out the name of the girl in his arms, Garfiel let up a bloody roar as his arm emitted a pale light. Subaru discerned that the flowing energy, enveloped by vivid luminescence, was healing magic.
But that fact was inconsistent with what he was seeing, and more than that, the dizzying situation had thrown his thought process awry.
His impression of Garfiel was that he was wholly unsuited toward using any magic, let alone healing magic, but to pull it off instantly at a juncture like that displayed considerable mastery of healing techniques.
Despite bearing mortal wounds of his own, he put everything aside, pouring all his strength into healing Ram.
All of it was beyond Subaru’s expectations, so far beyond his imagination that he was unable to move a single foot.
“Gah-ah-aaahhh…!”
Employing healing magic, the snarling Garfiel’s flesh bounced, enlarging much like a pulsing vein.
Golden fur covered his exposed flesh, his sharp fangs creaked as they began to lengthen, and his body, which Subaru had guessed was on death’s door, was instinctively urging him to transfigure in order to avert that death.
If he transformed into a giant tiger, it might well save his own life. However, if that happened, his healing would be interrupted. Ram would die. His rational mind rejected that, clashing ferociously with his survival instincts.
If he stopped healing their wounds before he transfigured, there still existed some chance both of them might survi—
“—It would be troublesome to let you transfigure, yes?”
Roswaal took a single step forward. His right leg bent and then lashed out.
With a vividness that made it impossible for Subaru to tear his eyes away, wind entwined around his bent leg as it scored a direct hit to the back of Garfiel’s skull—causing a heavy sound, much like that of an egg cracking, rupturing his target and smearing that blond hair with such ease it didn’t seem real.
“—ll.”
With his skull half-smashed, Garfiel lay on his side, glaring at Roswaal with his one remaining eye. In a twist of fate, he and Ram fell
together almost as one, both lying powerlessly on the floor.
Garfiel was dying, and in his arms, Ram did not move a muscle, either, a thin smile still on her lips.
No healing magic existed that could be effective on people with dead faces like this. None would even activate. By the time Roswaal drew his arm out, Ram’s life had already been lost, for her heart had been destroyed.
Not realizing this, Garfiel struggled to save her, but that was as far as it went.
“Even I would find it extremely difficult to weave magic without Garfiel noticing. Accordingly, for but a brief moment, I relied upon means that are heretical for a magic user.”
Wiping his bloodstained hand and foot with the sheets, the Roswaal that had murdered the pair turned toward Subaru.
During that entire time, Subaru had stood rooted to the spot, unable to move a step, unable to speak a word.
Inspecting Subaru, Roswaal narrowed his eyes before shrugging his shoulders with a casual air as he spoke again.
“Now then—in accordance with the vow we have exchanged, let us speak, Subaru Natsuki.”
6
Subaru stood in a daze amid that incomprehensible scene.
Ram had sunken into a pool of blood; Garfiel had lost his life from his skull being crushed. As the two lay atop each other, Roswaal—he who had murdered both—stood astride their corpses, calmly gazing Subaru’s way.
The incredible physical feat he had witnessed left Subaru unable to even speak. Realizing that Subaru was gawking, Roswaal stared at Subaru with his yellow eye alone as he said, “To believe a magic user cannot engage in unarmed combat is to fall prey to prejudice, you seeee. It is the sort of pitfall even Witches are known to miss. You should remember for future reference.”
Perhaps he meant it as honest advice, but Roswaal’s lecture, made with a raised finger, left Subaru horrified.
Certainly, he was shocked. That Roswaal’s unarmed combat technique was eye-catching was the simple truth. Comparing that shock to what he felt at seeing the pair’s sudden deaths was difficult.
And yet, he could not comprehend how Roswaal could smile pleasantly, not letting it bother him.
“Wh-why…?”
“Mm? Why what?”
“Why did you kill th……? Why did you kill Ram…eh? Even Garfiel’s…”
“Because Garfiel was an impediment to speaking with you. I did a terrible thing to Ram…but her cooperation was indispensable for getting Garfiel out of the way. Had she not created an opening, even my odds of victory would have been quite poor.”
“—Huh?”
Shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal, he came right out and plainly confessed his murderous intentions. The contents flew into Subaru, sailing right over his sentiments of anger, drawing out an unconscious breath.
It was an absurd answer for an absurd situation. It was an absurd comment about an absurd fate. What the hell was going on?
“An unexpected reaction. The Subaru that I know is a boy who would see nothing beyond this situation, fly into a rage, and even try to grab hold of me. —Am I wrong, Subaru Natsuki?”
“What are you trying to say? You’re a shitty, psychopathic bastard… There’s no way in hell I can…!”
“Forgive me or the like? You do not require language such as that. You should be more honest in facing your own heart. That is the ‘you’ I desire, the ‘you’ that I have always, alwaaaays desired.”
“—!! Stop, looking at me with that eye! The hell! The hell is wrong with you?!”
During those words, Roswaal had continued looking at Subaru with his left eye alone. The intent gaze of that lone yellow iris made him feel queasy, like something was clawing at the core of his psyche. Hence, his voice had gone ragged.
“You murdered two people! And that ain’t all! I’m not talking about just this! Before, that’s right, before when you were talking about the Witch Cult, too! You’ve been giving me the slip over and over—”
“—Over and over. Yes, over and over, Subaru.”
Subaru shuddered, feeling an awful chill, almost like a wet fingertip was stroking his spine.
Subaru had given in to his violent storm of emotions, venting about all the things that had been agonizing him to date. The expression that Roswaal trained upon Subaru was exceedingly out of place.
He was smiling. The sides of his face were cracked by his thin lips, and Roswaal wore that pleasant expression full of welcome, the grin of a demon, as he kept staring at Subaru.
This was not sarcasm or anything of the sort. He felt genuine delight at seeing Subaru’s demeanor. All Subaru could feel for that flow of incomprehensible emotion was disgust. He feared it, for it was something he absolutely could not comprehend.
As he peered into Subaru’s trembling eyes, Roswaal made what seemed like an affectionate nod.
“Very well. Since you do not understand, I, someone who assumes he understands, have decided to arbitrarily enlighten you; specifically, I’ll tell you the reason why you, despite witnessing the deaths of these two and now confronting me, the one who slew them both, are not acting out of emotion.”
“”
“It’s quite simple. —You are not sad about their deaths. You are surprised. However, you are not sad. That is why you have not hurled yourself at me in anger.”
—It really was the arbitrary statement of someone who assumed they understood.
What do you understand! As if I’m not sad that they’re dead! I’ll kill you!!
Inside Subaru’s heart, one phrase after another floated up, all candidates for what he should shout in response. They were countless.
In truth, Subaru had multiple violent emotions swirling around inside of him. They cried for him to chew out the clown with the all-knowing face.
Anger, despair, grief, shock—his emotions were ready to make him explode and say those things at any moment—
“—It is because you do believe these things can be undone, is it nooooot?”
“—?!!”
The blow made his blood freeze. Subaru went rigid, feeling like his heart had been clenched.
It was not a metaphor. He truly felt like his heart was in a death grip. The impact was simply that great.
Whatever Roswaal meant by it, his statement’s wording was all too close to Return by Death. The Witch’s court was strict and severe. That very moment, the world might stop and those black arms emerge to impose their sentence. Or perhaps the arms would be insufficient, and the Witch might descend once more, drinking the Sanctuary dry—
“…Not…coming?”
“This wariness… I see. So you and that have exchanged a pact. In light of that, I can now accept how you came to so many of your words and actions to date. She is quite a mean one.”
“Accept, you say…? No, before even that, you…!”
Subaru’s face went pale as Roswaal put a hand to his chin and nodded. There was no mistake: Roswaal’s statement that moment had most certainly touched upon the taboo at Subaru’s core—
“You…you noticed what’s been happening with me…?!”
“To explain, it is likely faster to show you than to tell you.”
“Wait! That feels like you’re just giving me the slip aga—”
When Roswaal turned around and headed toward the bed, Subaru tried to close the distance. However, he hesitated to touch the pool of blood at the tips of his toes—and the corpses of Ram and Garfiel within.
During that time, Roswaal arrived at the bed. He reached a hand under the pillow, groping under it, and—
“…Wait, don’t tell me that’s—?”
“A Gospel? Rest at ease. This is not any such knockoff but one of the only two genuine articles.”
When he lifted what was in his hand, Subaru recalled hearing similar words from Roswaal before. When the topic had come up previously, the man had stated that these were the real deal, that only two volumes existed, and that one was in Beatrice’s hands. As for the other—
&nb
sp; “So you had it…!”
“It would seem you require no explanation as to the book’s contents. It would also seem you do not require an explanation of who possesses the other, either. In that case, you require no further answer to your query, I take it?”
“”
As the black-bound book held his attention, Subaru heard a very loud ringing in his ears.
When he concentrated, working to match what he was seeing with his memories to date, he found his proof. Leaving the reality of the present behind, overusing his brain to the point of meltdown, he finally arrived at a meaningful conclusion.
In Roswaal’s hand rested the second book of knowledge. This tome prophesized the future, and just like Beatrice, whose blank book had reinforced her isolation across four centuries, Roswaal too had read the book’s contents over and over—
“From the look of you, it would appear that Beatrice somehow fulfilled her duty.”
“—. Duty? Duty, what do you know about her…?”
The interjection brought his thought process to a temporary halt. As it continued the work of verifying background information, the sense of loss etched into Subaru’s chest made him flare up at Roswaal for the sake of the girl at the center of that pain.
Did this man know the true feelings of Beatrice, the girl who had cried out in such loneliness?
“Didn’t you know about what she was going through?! Always bound to that room, always clinging to a promise from a long time ago… Didn’t you know about her tears?!”
“Of course I knew. To me, she is someone I have known since the time of my birth. The sense of desolation she harbors within her chest, her desire to move on… These are things I have always known.”
“—!! Then…”
“I hope you do not say, Why did you do nothing about them? or the like. Do you know what that girl desires someone do to relieve her sadness? You have heard her plea, have you not?”
Skewered by Roswaal’s sound logic, Subaru’s heart reeled, like it was spitting up blood.
It was the truth. It was very much the truth. Subaru had heard Beatrice’s plea. He’d reached out to her, wanting to save her. His hand had been rejected, his voice had failed to reach her and in the end, Beatrice’s life had been taken by a vile blade.
Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 12 Page 18
