by Natalie Dean
Lost mother as a child. Healthy and can care for the twins. I am 18, single. God-fearing woman. Housemaid. Available now.
Sarah Smith
Sarah reviewed what she could afford to send. She hoped being deprived of a mother would be in her favor because she could understand what the children were feeling. She had no ties and could focus entirely on the children. Sarah didn't contemplate the notion of having a family of her own.
Cecilia was excited to receive the first batch of replies. She and Lottie sat across from each other to review them.
"I wonder if this is how our men felt receiving our letters," Lottie smiled, but then her face clouded as she remembered how the man she had written to had been murdered before her arrival to Bannack. Cecilia didn't want to remember the past too much either. Her beloved first husband had died shortly after her arrival. He had been her savior in many ways.
"Stop maudlin, Lottie McLennon. We've work to do."
Cecilia opened the first couple of replies and cast them aside. Lottie looked at her.
"Why aren't you reading them?" she inquired.
"I don't like their names. Remember, Lottie, this woman will be our friend and has to replace Maggie. That's not easy to do. We can come back to them if no one else appeals."
Lottie rolled her eyes. She was glad Cecilia hadn't been judging her reply.
"Here's one," Cecilia said, "she twenty and a nurse."
"No, she'll make plans to work with Hamish, and I don't want some young woman around him," Lottie said. She was feeling a little self-conscious lately about her figure. Cecilia was still willowy and guffawed at Lottie's insecurities. "You are a silly thing. Hamish still looks at you like he did the very first day he met you. Anyway, aren't we looking for a wife for Carson?"
"Now, listen to this. This girl, Sarah, lost her mother when she was young. That's good. She'll relate to the twins and hopefully, know how to be what she was missing in a mother. Is eighteen a little young to become an instant mother?" Cecilia asked.
"We'll reply to her and see what she says. The sooner, the better I think. That home needs a mother, and the children need security. Ask her to come."
"Don't you think we should correspond a few more times? Just to make sure she's the right person." Lottie didn't want to make a mistake. It wouldn't be fair to the children to lose another mother figure.
"That's a good point. But we can't go on months trying to see if she's a right fit. We won't know until she gets here. I think she needs to come now. Remember, we both had reasons for coming here and didn't want to wait. Let's send the two of them a question. Let's ask what they think a child needs most. I don't want those children raised by some authoritarian. I had that all my life and Maggie wouldn't want that for Billy and Jane."
Cecilia and Lottie still didn’t tell Carson their plans. It was too soon, and besides, they still hadn't decided on who was the best choice.
Sarah's hands shook as she opened the envelope. "What's that? Who'd be writing to you?" Cook asked annoyed that Sarah had received a telegram.
"I have an aunt," Sarah said as she walked away, puzzled by the question posed. What was the most important thing a child needed? This was a very bizarre question. It was love. Who could thrive without love? Sarah was anxious to send a reply, but Cook was now calling her to do various jobs. None of which were urgent or important, only a ruse for Cook to delay Sarah responding to the wire.
She'd have to wait until Cook fell asleep which was usually in the afternoon after her tipple. Sarah took her chance to send off her telegram. She hoped it was what her future employer wanted.
In Bannack, Cecilia went to the Western Union office. The usual clerk wasn't there. She frowned, not quite sure of whether to ask if any wire had come for C. Edwards.
"Why, yes, ma'am and I've given it to Mr. Edwards already," the replacement clerk smiled cheerfully. Cecilia rushed out and looked up and down the street. Lottie had the children. He was bound to be with them now. She ran as fast as she could, but it was too late. She could see Carson showing the two letters to Lottie. Cecilia could see by his body language that he was angry and Lottie was trying to calm him down.
"Carson, we've only done it for your own good. Come inside and stop making a scene. You're frightening the children," Cecilia took control and managed to get Carson inside Lottie's house. They sat around the table, Hamish included, and Cecilia and Lottie told them what they'd done. Carson was still annoyed. How could they think he'd want to marry again? Hamish chastised them for not telling Carson of their plan.
"But that's just it, Carson. It's the best of both worlds. It's not a real marriage, in any sense but it's proper in the eyes of the Lord. You can't have a single woman living with you. She would take care of the children and cook and clean. I really think Maggie would approve. She loved those children, and you can't cope as it is and we can't keep taking turns with them. They need to be home, Carson." Cecilia rested her arm on Carson's, and he bent his head low. He was usually such a reasonable man, but he was hurting.
"Let me see what the responses were. We set a test for the two ladies we wanted. Our nurse thinks discipline and education are the most important and our housemaid believes love is the most important thing a child needs," Cecilia looked around as she put the responses down. "Everyone agree on love being the most important?" she asked, and everyone nodded. It was settled. Sarah Smith was coming to Bannack.
Within a week, Sarah was on a train heading out of the city. She hadn't much in the way of belongings. She was delighted to find that a ticket had been purchased in her name and she was going to travel relatively comfortable. It was a good start into the unknown. She didn't even know where Montana was, but it was going to be the start of a new life for her. The final leg of her journey was by stage coach. She missed the rickety comfort of the train. She was thrown about in the stage coach. She could hear the call out for Bannack.
She stepped off the stagecoach and looked around. There were two women, a man and two children standing close together. The taller of the women moved forward to greet her.
"Miss Sarah Smith. Welcome to Bannack, I'm Cecilia Dexter. This is Carson Edwards, my good friend Lottie McLennon and here are the children, Billy and Jane."
Sarah's eyes were transfixed on the little girl. She was the spitting image of her dear sister, Katie. The likeness took her breath away, and she became faint. Carson caught her before she hit the ground.
"Carson, carry her to the hotel. Let's get her freshened up. That journey is an ordeal," Lottie said as she fanned Sarah with her handkerchief.
"What's wrong with my new mama?" Jane asked, and Carson frowned. Sarah felt uncomfortable in the man's arms. He was very strong, but it wasn't exactly the first impression she wanted to make.
"I'm quite well. I can walk. It's just the little girl reminds me of someone." Sarah reached out to Jane who was in Lottie's arms, and the little girl went to her.
"That's odd. Jane usually makes strange with people when she meets them first," Lottie observed.
"Hold me too," Billy said, not wishing his sister to get all of the attention. Sarah carried a child on each hip as Carson took her bag.
Chapter Four
Sarah was tired but happy as she sat with them. The children were adorable and friendly.
"Is this the new arrival?” quipped Mrs. Lavery.
“Yes, my name is Sarah. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“I'm Mrs. Lavery. My aren't you a lovely little thing?" Mrs. Lavery said as she served them tea and sandwiches.
"Sarah, we chose you because you understand what the children need. Their mother's death was tragic, and we miss her every day. But as Mr. Edwards has a farm to manage, he can't cope with the children as well. Until now, Mrs. Dexter and I have been taking turns caring for them," Lottie said.
"I'm not afraid of hard work. I look forward to taking care of your children, Mr. Edwards. You live on a farm?”
“Yes, mam.”
“Will have
I have my own quarters in the home or will I live somewhere else? I really don't need much space," Sarah said to the amused looking faces.
"You'll stay in the homestead with the children and me," Carson said, wondering why Sarah was confused.
"I don't know what goes on out here, but in the city, we do things properly. I can't live with a man I'm not married to," Sarah said indignantly.
"But you are here to marry Carson, I mean, Mr. Edwards. It's all arranged for in a few days’ time. We thought you'd like to settle in first," Lottie said.
"Married! You said nothing about getting married," Sarah screeched, unsure of what was going on.
"We thought you understood that. That's why we placed the advertisement in the Matrimonial Times. And anyways, it's marriage in name only. Our main concern is that the children are loved, as their mother would have wanted," Cecilia said.
"You didn't say anything about getting married. I thought it was just about taking care of the children. I'm sorry. This was a mistake. I figured it was a job. I suppose I should have asked about the pay. Oh no, what am I going to do? I've given up my job." Sarah became upset.
"What's she going on about? She didn't know it was supposed to be a marriage?" Carson was annoyed. It was a silly idea. The very notion that someone would come from a city just to take care of the children. She wanted a job. The children needed a mother.
"Carson, you go and find Hamish. She looks very pale to me," Cecilia said as Sarah looked all clammy. He was glad of the excuse to leave. He would never understand women.
"Sarah, we're sorry for the misunderstanding. I know you don't know us, but Carson is a good man. He would never act improperly. We need the children to have a stable home life. If they were older, it would be different. They could help on the farm, but they are too young. You can stay here in the hotel as we planned and get to know Bannack. The children seem attached to you already," Cecilia said, and it was true. Sarah hadn't eaten anything as the children sat on her lap, cuddled into her.
Sarah looked down at the little faces who looked up at her. Jane was so much like Katie, even with the mark on her forehead. Sarah's heart almost burst. It had been a face she had missed.
"I'm not sure about getting married, but the children do seem to have taken a shine to me. If I'm here for a while, I may as well be useful," Sarah said to the delight of Cecilia and Lottie.
"You get settled in and come over to my place when you're ready. I own the tea shop," Cecilia excused herself and looked for Mrs. Lavery to make arrangements.
"I think you should stay, Sarah. The children need love, and I feel in my heart that you are the one to give them this. There's something special between the three of you already," Lottie said as she patted Sarah's arm.
Sarah missed that touch of another. Someone to acknowledge her. She had seen the bond Katie and Nancy had. Lottie and Cecilia reminded Sarah of them. It was something she had never experienced. All she got in service were beatings. She shivered as she remembered the whippings Cook had given her. The scars were still there, but Sarah had managed to forget about them. Funny how a caring touch could remind of such pain, she thought.
The children didn't want to be wretched away from Sarah. And deep inside her, she didn't want to let them go either. "Why don't you leave them with me? We can get to know each other," Sarah said, and Lottie smiled as she watched Sarah and the children go upstairs.
"What do you think? Will she stay or go?" Cecilia asked Lottie with Mrs. Lavery in tow.
"The children have decided, and I don't think she'll have the heart to refuse them. Now if only we could get Carson on board."
As Sarah put the children on her bed, she noticed Jane yawning and it made her want to yawn too. Soon the three of them were laying together on Sarah's bed and fell asleep. It was so long since Sarah had a bed, she had forgotten what it felt like, but she'd never known anything like this. The children snuggled into her, one at each side and she felt content. Her heart was full of love for them. How could she love them already? Sarah knew she could never leave them. It would mean she would have to marry Carson. He didn't seem happy at the idea and rightly so if his wife wasn't long dead. It was a good sign of a man.
She fell asleep again, and in a dream, Katie came to her. But Sarah couldn't hear what she was saying. When Katie smiled at her, Sarah felt a touch of someone's hand on her head. It was something Katie used to do. Sarah woke and sighed. Someone was touching her head. It was Billy who had stretched out, and his little arm rested on Sarah. She smiled and drifted off to sleep again.
"Wake up, wake up," Billy was pulling up Sarah's eyelids. He was crying.
"What's wrong Billy?" she asked as she sat up. Jane was looking at her.
"Mama didn't wake up from her last sleep," Billy sobbed, and Jane corrected him, "this is Mama, my Mama."
"This isn't Mama," Billy admonished his sister, who then started to cry and wail that Sarah was her mama.
"Hush, now. I'm here to take care of you both. I wonder what time it is. Should we look for your papa?"
Billy nestled in beside her and said, "Papa is sad all the time. He isn't fun anymore. I miss Lola." The little boy began to cry.
"Who is Lola?" Sarah asked, wondering if there was another child no one had mentioned.
"She's Mama's dog."
Sarah hugged them. She decided it was time to get out and see what Bannack had to offer. She and the children made their way to Cecilia's tea shop.
"I was going to come looking for you," Cecilia said. Apparently, they had slept for hours. "Carson has gone back to the ranch. It's a little late to go there now. We'll go tomorrow. Lottie will join us later. Sit and tell me about yourself, Sarah. It's difficult to get to know a person from a wire. You said your mother passed when you were a child?" Cecilia asked as she poured some tea and set a cake in front of Sarah. The children dived into the cake she gave them.
"I was twelve. She died in childbirth, and the baby did too. We lived in Ireland at the time. My father sent my sister and me to New York after that. He wanted us to have a new life."
"So, you have a sister and what does she …" Cecilia paused as Sarah's face clouded over. Something was wrong.
"My sister, Katie, died when I was fifteen. I went into service then." Sarah didn't say anymore. She couldn't as the tears began to pour out. It had been so long since she had spoken of Katie to anyone.
"We all have some sadness in our backgrounds. I think that's why we're looking for a clean break here. I do hope you'll stay, Sarah," Cecilia said as she looked at the children. "Maggie was a dear friend and a wonderful mother. She loved these children so much. I think you understand that. The need to have someone that's yours and to love and be loved."
Sarah nodded as she dried her eyes. The good Lord was giving her the chance to take care of children. She was too young when Katie died to care for those twins. Sarah understood that. Now she would love these children as she hoped her niece and nephew were loved.
"Sarah, we'll have to help you with your clothes. You're somewhat shorter than Maggie although I don't think Carson would like you wearing her clothes. Lottie is a similar size. I'm presuming you can cook, but we don't have the same choice as in the city. You'll find dust your main annoyance. I lived on a farm when I first came here, and it wasn't fun. That's why I opened this place. See it as a place to come and vent," Cecilia continued telling Sarah about difficulties she would encounter out here.
Sarah was happy. She had never talked so much in the last three years. Cecilia was kind to her. They returned to the hotel and were joined by Mrs. Lavery and Lottie. Sarah felt she belonged here, but she was still cautious about revealing too much about herself. She had been trying to stifle a yawn, but one finally escaped.
"She's exhausted," Mrs. Lavery said. "Lottie, you take Billy and Jane for tonight. Let Sarah have the night to herself. You go have a bath before bed, and you'll sleep much better, Dear."
Sarah smiled as she watched Lottie and Cecilia take the childr
en. Mrs. Lavery was in charge, but unlike the cook or her mistress, Mrs. Lavery was motherly towards Lottie and Cecilia. And Sarah could feel that Mrs. Lavery's motherly way included her. It felt good.
"That sounds lovely," Sarah said as Mrs. Lavery took her to a steaming bath that was already prepared; the scents were heavenly. Sarah sunk into the bath. The flaming fire was making her cheeks rosy. She was grateful to be in Bannack, and she prayed this good feeling would never end.
Chapter Five
Sarah realized Cecilia wasn't joking about the dust as they traveled by wagon to what would become her home, should she decide to marry Carson. Not being used to having friends and someone to confide in, Sarah kept her own counsel when it came to her life. Cecilia and Lottie didn't push her for answers. Similar to their own stories, Sarah had arrived in Bannack, and things weren't as she expected.
The morning had started with a message to go to Lottie's house. Sarah didn't know what to make of the assortment of clothes Lottie laid out for her to try on.
"We reckoned there was no need for you to buy clothes until you make a decision about whether you'll stay or go. They are only of use out here," Lottie said as she held a pair of trousers against Sarah. She had never worn trousers before, even if it was just a skirt divided into trouser legs.
"It's much handier for getting on and off the wagon. There's a cow to be milked in the homestead. She serves the house, and many of the wives look after the horses too, the ones for the wagon. Also, there's usually a horse that the husband rides. Are you feeling nervous about today?" Lottie asked the pale Sarah who seemed a little overwhelmed by what was ahead.
