by Leann Harris
“We need to rest the horses,” Beth called out.
Tyler didn’t want to, but he wouldn’t abuse his horse because of his guilt. He reined in and dismounted. He pulled out an apple from his saddlebags and fed it to his mount.
Beth walked around and stretched her legs. She didn’t say anything to him. Instead, she stood still, scanning the horizon. “Lord, lead us in the right direction to find Riley. Keep him safe, no matter where he is.”
A streak of lightning raced across the sky, followed by the rattling of the thunder. The horses shied.
“Easy, girl,” Beth soothed Brownie.
The rain followed as if someone turned on a showerhead. Beth searched through her saddlebags for her baseball hat. Tyler readjusted his cowboy hat. There was no shelter closeby, no way to avoid being drenched.
Tyler thought that his relationship with God had begun to heal, but it seemed like everything was working against him.
Try again, a voice inside him whispered.
Could he? Could he trust again?
Lord, I need Your help, because I am lost here. I’m going to trust You. Help us find Riley, well and whole.
The rain stopped as suddenly as it had begun. Maybe there was hope.
Chapter Fourteen
Beth and Tyler returned to the barn close to seven in the evening, soaked to the skin. Although the rain at noon had only lasted a short time, it washed out any tracks Riley might have left. But Tyler and Beth didn’t give up. They continued to search. The afternoon had been sunny, but toward the end of the day it had turned cloudy again and the air smelled of the coming rain.
None of the searchers found any further signs of Riley after the rain. Around five in the afternoon, several of the ranchers radioed they were suspending their search to go home and care for their own stock, but promised to resume the search tomorrow.
Sophie and several of the wives who stayed had fixed a dinner for the remaining searchers. As Beth and Tyler walked to the house, the sky opened up again and the rain came down in sheets.
They raced to the porch, rain drenching them to the skin. They were the last two to come in. Beth paused and looked out into the darkened sky.
“Lord, keep him safe,” she whispered.
Her words caused Tyler to stop. Bowing his head, he remained motionless for an instant, then walked inside. The room fell silent at their entrance.
Sophie left the living room and reappeared with two towels. Handing one to Tyler, she gave the other one to Beth.
“Thanks.” Tyler rubbed his face and hair.
Beth covered her head with the towel. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She disappeared down the hall.
People began to talk again and Zach pulled Tyler to the kitchen table. “Eat. You won’t do anyone any good if you pass out.”
A pot of chili sat on the stove. The pan of cornbread was on the neighboring burner. It smelled wonderful. Tyler looked at it, wondering if he could eat. Sophie didn’t wait for him but dished up two bowls of chili and handed him a bowl.
“Go and eat,” Sophie commanded, using her Army voice.
No one moved.
Part of Tyler instantly responded to Sophie’s command voice. “What was your rank?” he asked.
“I outranked you, soldier. And as a medic, I learned not to put up with nonsense. Eat. That’s what your body needs, and I think you’ll need it for later.”
Grabbing a piece of cornbread, Tyler moved to the table. As he passed Zach, he whispered, “I’m impressed.”
“You’ll thank her later.”
Tyler settled at the table and let the crowd around him resume their chatter. Heaven knew there was nothing left in him to engage in conversation, and no one tried.
* * *
Riley watched Dogger trot along. The dog would stop every few yards and make sure Riley followed. “Okay, okay, I’m coming,” Riley grumbled as he followed behind. He sure prayed the dog knew where he was going, because if he didn’t… Up one hill, down another.
Riley refused to think about it.
Dogger disappeared over the ridge of the land. When Riley topped the ridge he saw the stables at Second Chance Ranch in the distance. Excitement raced through Riley’s veins. Dogger had done it.
Riley hurried down the other side of the rise and splashed through the shallow stream running at the base and walked up the other side. The dog waited for him. On unsteady legs, Riley tried to climb up the slope. He slipped a couple of times on damp soil and plants, grabbing a few of the scrub bushes on the hill. It took a couple of tries for him to get up the hill.
Once at the top, he could see the parking lot and saw several trucks with their horse trailers leaving the back parking lot.
Looking over the ranch building, Riley saw several police cruisers parked in the drive in front of the main house. Fear snaked up Riley’s spine. Had they been looking for him? Now that his panic subsided, Riley realized how much trouble he’d caused and would be in. His courage faltered.
He waited and watched until all the cars left. Once the last police car pulled away, he crept up to the stables. He paused at the treat barrel, grabbed one of the carrots used for rewards for the horses, and took a big bite. It tasted a little dirty, but it was food. He slipped into the stables, wondering what he should do. He turned on the hose used to wash the horses and had a drink of water and washed off the carrot. Dogger lapped up the water on the concrete. Riley let the water run a few moments for the dog to get a drink.
After turning off the water, he wondered what would do now? He heard Charming whinny and he walked to his stall. The horse nodded his head and snatched the carrot from the youth’s hand. “Hey, guy. That wasn’t for you.”
Charming raised his head.
Riley walked over to the reward barrel kept inside and grabbed another carrot, washed it and started to eat it. He went back to Charming’s stall and let himself inside. Sitting in the corner, he wondered what he should do.
Now that the fear had begun to recede, his heart ached from what he’d heard Tyler say. What did he mean?
Leaning against the wooden wall, Riley closed his eyes. His last thought before sleep engulfed him was he was glad to be at the ranch. Dogger had done a good job.
* * *
All the searchers had left. Trucks and horse trailers had all cleared out close to an hour ago. Zach sat with Tyler.
“At light, we’ll resume the search.”
As if his control had finally snapped, Tyler jumped to his feet. “He shouldn’t be out there. It’s my fault.”
“No, it’s not,” Sophie answered.
“I couldn’t save Paul and now I’ve driven away his younger brother and he could be hurt or dead out in the desert. How could I be so stupid? And Susan, if she hadn’t been—”
Beth shot out of her chair and came face to face with him, her outrage making her shake. “I can’t believe my ears, Tyler Lynch.”
He froze.
“Did you also cause it to rain today, and did you make the sun go down?”
Pulling back, he said, “What are you talking about?”
“Well, since you’ve elevated yourself to the status of God, can you control the weather, too? Or stop a boy from hearing? Or stop a bomb from exploding by looking at it?”
“You’re not making any sense.”
“Me. Me. I’m not making sense.” Beth saw out of the corner of her eye Zach and Sophie sitting at the kitchen table in stunned disbelief.
“How much sense does it make to think you could’ve stopped that bomb from exploding and killing Paul? Did you let it explode on purpose?” she demanded.
“That’s crazy.”
“Exactly, so why are you blaming yourself for the b
omb going off? How much sense does that make?”
Tyler simply stared at her. “I should’ve been the one who died.”
Tears rolled down Beth’s cheeks. “But you weren’t. And I don’t know why Paul died, and you didn’t, but you lived.” She drew a shaky breath.
“Lived. Don’t you think that there was a reason? Are you going to be the man who touches Riley’s life or are you going to retreat into yourself, beat yourself up emotionally and benefit no one? You don’t have the powers to make the wind blow or the earth turn or a bomb not go off. But you do have the power to yield to God and have Him direct your footsteps. Neither Susan nor Riley needs your self-flagellation. They need a man who can support them, help them and pray for them. Not someone who’s wallowing in self-pity.”
“Beth.” Zach stood. “That’s enough.”
She looked at her brother, then Tyler. Her chin trembled. Turning, she raced out of the house.
Anger throbbed through her body. Why couldn’t Tyler see that Paul’s death was a terrible thing, but it wasn’t his fault? How could he be so myopic? All he could see was his pain, crowding out others.
Her emotions driving her, she flew down the steps and headed toward the stables. Halfway there, she doubled over in pain. She couldn’t stand by and watch Tyler blame himself for something he had no control over. And Riley, where was he?
She straightened and walked to the first fenced corral. Stopping, she grabbed the top cross post and looked out in to the night. The clouds had cleared and the stars twinkled brightly. The temperature was still in the seventies. Everything looked so clean and renewed.
Resting her head on her hand, she tried to pray, but no words came.
She’d tried so hard to help Riley and Tyler, so why had it fallen so flat? In the stillness, she tried to find a clue to what had gone wrong. Had she been guilty of trying to manage this situation with Riley and Tyler in her own strength instead of letting God work His perfect timing?
Was she trying to do God’s job as Tyler was?
Yes.
The stunning truth robbed her knees of strength, and she stumbled over to Riley’s bench by the stable door. Her heart told her that she’d tried to orchestra Riley’s and Tyler’s lives and not let God do it His way. She thought she knew what was best for everyone and—
She went still.
Was she the problem here, not Tyler? Was getting Tyler to talk a prime example of trying to direct someone’s life instead of allowing God to work His way? Her stomach sank.
The last time she thought she could change someone’s life was with her boyfriend in high school. When she finally realized he was controlling, she thought she could change him with her sunny smile and gentle coaxing. How well had that gone?
And what had her reaction been to that disaster? She’d closed her heart, not allowing any male to get too close.
Now, finally, she’d opened her heart and fallen in love and done what?
Love.
She could admit it now. She loved Tyler. She’d let a man inside her heart and what had she done? Messed up.
She wanted to laugh hysterically.
Lord, I finally opened my heart and I drive him away.
Well, wasn’t she clever? She’d fallen in love with a man who’d decided to lock himself away again. Leaning against the stable, she closed her eyes and let the pain wash over her.
* * *
Tyler stood in the living room, staring at the screen door where Beth had just stormed out. His ears still rang from her tirade.
Zach came to Tyler’s side. “She didn’t mean it. Beth just sometimes gets wound up. I’ve been on the wrong end of her tongue lashing before.”
Tyler ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, she sure can tear a strip off a guy.” But his spirit told him Beth had nailed it. He turned to Sophie, who sat at the table but hadn’t offered any comment. “You agree with your husband?”
She remained quiet for a few moments. “What happened in Iraq?”
“Sophie,” Zach protested.
Tyler held up his hand. “Your wife’s right.” He walked to the table and explained to them about the call to disarm the bomb and what had happened in that café.
Sophie’s fingers played with the remains of her shredded napkin. “I’ve seen soldiers blame themselves when their buddies die, wanting to go back and be the one who was killed. But you were wounded, as well, not only physically, but mentally. And if I don’t miss my guess, spiritually. Beth’s right, Tyler. Paul’s death wasn’t your fault, but only you can decide to let go of that poison.”
The truth kept hitting him over the head.
Zach glared at his wife. Ignoring her comment, he explained, “Beth tends to get into everyone’s business.”
Tyler gave a short bark of laughter. “I know.”
“Like she did for you when she dragged you here?” Sophie replied to her husband.
Zach frowned.
“I see your point, Sophie,” Tyler inserted, trying to avoid the coming fight. “I’ll think about what she said.”
Sophie leaned in. “I’ve never known Beth to be cruel and try to hurt someone. Her heart’s desire is to help others. She carried Zach’s pain—” Sophie’s voice got thick “—and my pain when we couldn’t see beyond our noses. I know her, and she’s acting from concern for you and Riley. Please keep that in mind.”
“I will.” He left, wanting to think about Beth and Sophie’s words, because deep down in his heart he knew he heard the truth.
* * *
Beth heard a dog bark, pulling her out of her despair. Opening her eyes, she looked down and saw Dogger.
“Hey, guy, where have you been?” She bent down to pet him, but the dog stood and walked to the open double doors. When she didn’t follow him, too involved with her self-pity, Dogger came back and sat down before her and waited.
“What?”
He stood and went to the door.
“Okay, boy.” Standing, she followed him into the stables. It suddenly dawned on her that Dogger had gone with Riley.
Her heart pounding, she followed the dog to Charming’s stall. Beth approached the stall carefully, wondering what she would see.
She moved to the stall door and looked inside. Curled in the corner was Riley. By his hand was a partially eaten carrot, one of the ones they kept for the horses. “Oh, Dogger, you did such a good job.”
She debated whether to wake Riley up or run and get Tyler. She turned and ran out of the stables and saw Tyler on the walk between the houses. She motioned for him to come. When he started out slowly, she motioned for him to hurry.
“What is it?”
“Riley’s in Charming’s stall. He’s asleep.”
As if shot out of a cannon, Tyler darted into the stables. He came to a stop in front of Charming’s stall. He looked at the boy curled in the corner. “How did you find him?”
“It wasn’t me. Dogger came to me when I was outside on the bench and dragged me in here.”
The dog stood at their feet, looking up as if to say, “I did my job.” Tyler knelt and rubbed the dog’s throat. “You haven’t failed me yet, friend.”
His words pierced Beth’s soul.
Standing, he released the lever on the door and walked into the stall. Charming started to dance. Beth raced in and crooned to the horse, settling him down. Tyler scooped the boy into his arms. He bowed his head as if giving thanks, then walked out of the stall.
“Are his clothes wet?” Beth asked.
“A little.” He walked out and headed for the doors. Dogger trailed along behind Tyler. Beth closed Charming in and followed behind them. She rushed in front of Tyler and opened the door of the foreman’s house. Tyler placed the boy on the sofa.
>
Riley’s eyes fluttered open. When he saw Tyler’s face, Riley sat up. Riley looked at Beth, then at Tyler. “Did you kill my brother?”
The simple, direct question made tears roll down Beth’s cheeks. She prayed for Tyler that he could answer Riley. And prayed for grace that Riley could hear and accept the truth.
And not judge.
* * *
Tyler knew his next few words would be some of the most important of his life. When Beth had torn into him earlier, it was as if someone had slapped him in the face, waking him up. No matter how hard he wanted to, he couldn’t change what happened to Paul. He’d tried to save his friend, but it had not turned out that way. He was alive and Paul wasn’t. He couldn’t save Paul, but he could save Riley.
“No, I didn’t kill your brother.” They were the hardest words he would ever utter.
“Then why did you tell Beth it was your fault?” His young eyes pierced to the very core of Tyler’s soul.
“Your brother and I were trying to disarm a bomb. I had turned away when it exploded.” He couldn’t describe what the bomb had physically done to his friend. “It killed Paul. I got a few scratches.” Tyler grasped Riley’s hand. “I wish it would’ve been me instead of your brother, but it wasn’t.”
Moisture filled the boy’s eyes. “So you’re trying to be my friend because you feel guilty?”
The verbal blow hit Tyler square between the eyes. “I wanted to visit and tell both your mother and you what a fine man Paul was. When I got home from Iraq, I visited your old home and discovered you’d moved. I got your new address from the neighbors. I traveled around the country for a while and I finally worked up the courage to come here to talk to your mom. I ran into Zach and he offered me the job here at the ranch.
“But what I thought would just be an apology turned into something much more. I discovered I enjoyed talking to you and your mom. She asked me to bring you out here. I rediscovered how much I liked working with horses and the ranching life. It connected me with my early years when my parents were still alive.
