Strip Search

by Erin McCarthy

  This was the first time he could recall getting ripped a new one by Chief Darcy. It wasn’t pleasant, but the Marines had been worse. So he would just take it.

  “This is not like you at all. I’ve never seen you act with anything other than professionalism. Is something going on I should know about?”

  That didn’t sound good. “No. What do you mean?”

  “Are you having some kind of personal crisis? Do we need to see about getting you to a counselor?”

  Oh, fabulous. His boss thought he was losing his shit. Add him to the list of people who thought he was “struggling” just because he didn’t want to settle down. Though in this case, the chief had a good point. It wasn’t like him to do something so unprofessional.

  “No, no, seriously. No counselor. It was a lapse in judgment, nothing more. I swear.”

  “I’m going to have to write you up formally. That video is fucking everywhere.”

  Axl sat up straighter. That was something he did not want. “What? Seriously?”

  The chief stared him down. “If you could tell me she was your girlfriend or something that would be different. But everyone is telling me she’s with that TV show that’s in town.”

  There was no time to think. Darcy had given him an out and he was taking it. “What if I told you she is my girlfriend?”

  “I would say that is a very good thing. But tell me how you met. And make it believable.”

  Axl had known his boss long enough to know what he was really saying. Get your fucking story straight. That’s what he was saying.

  “We met online,” he lied, shocked at how smooth it rolled off of his lips. “She purposely chose a wedding here so we could spend time together.”

  Darcy gave a snort. “You’re full of crap. But I’d better see some wining and dining going on with this girl so that I get to the point where I do believe it.”

  “Yes, sir.” He was going to have to not only wine and dine her but warn her that he was making shit up about her.

  His mom reprimanding him for lying as a kid popped into his head. A tangled web and all that. But he just couldn’t stomach the idea of being officially reprimanded for kissing Leighton. He wasn’t even sure why he had done it.

  He just knew that something was tugging at him when it came to her. He had wanted to taste her and he had.

  Now he just wanted more.

  He wanted her ankles on his shoulders and his cock buried deep inside her softness.

  He coughed into his hand.

  “Why do I feel like your thoughts are in the gutter right now?” Chief Darcy threw his phone down on his desk and leaned back into his swivel chair. “This is why celibacy is dangerous, kid. It makes you do stupid shit.”

  “I can’t argue with you there.” Being distracted by dirty thoughts wasn’t usually a weakness of his, but Leighton was different.

  When he had been a kid he had been into rock collecting. He’d dug through dirt, mud, water. He liked to find ones that were different. That had something unique about them. He studied them, polished them, saved them in his dresser drawer.

  Leighton had piqued his interest because she was unique. Layered and complex. He wanted to run his hands over her and explore every inch of her skin. It was like he was just cruising through his life and then wham. There was a gem staring at him across the stage at Tap That.

  It was totally out of character for him but he was in it now. He had to ride this out and if he was going to catch flak for it he damn well wanted a date with Leighton.

  “Maybe you need to think about getting a girlfriend for real.”

  Axl tried not to sigh. Everyone wanted him in a relationship because apparently, he wasn’t normal if he wanted to be single. “Yes, sir.”

  “Get out of here.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  When he left the chief’s office he pulled his phone out. The guys were blowing his phone up in a group text.

  DUDE.

  WTF. Did you take a blow to the head? So not your style, man.

  The Cali girl? Nice. Your mom. She was right. Haha.

  He wasn’t even sure what to say so he settled for a general Fuck off. That was enough explanation for right now.

  Jesse sent him a gif of a guy making a jerking off motion. Now you don’t have to be this guy for a change.

  Sullivan sent him a picture of a man on his knees being whipped by a dominatrix.

  He couldn’t even get mad at them. He had done this to himself. Now he had to extract himself from it. He waved to the receptionist who shook her head at him and another patrolman who made mock kissing sounds in his direction. “Yeah, yeah, get it out of your systems.”

  “Oh, no, we’re driving this into the ground,” Jack Turner said. They were a similar age and Jack was a perpetual prankster.

  “Awesome. Can’t wait.”

  “The Ice Man melts. This is gold.”

  He hated that stupid nickname. Ice Man. Why, because he didn’t talk just to hear himself talk? Because everything wasn’t a big fucking joke to him? Because he didn’t need all eyes on him at every moment?

  Without responding to Jack, he started for the front door.

  “Hey, Axl, wait,” Susan, the receptionist said. “You have a message from one Leighton Van Buren, who I think you know fairly well.” She made a face. “Is that a real name? Anyway, she wants you to call her. She left a number.”

  Axl stopped in his tracks. He turned around and held his hand out for the slip Susan had been holding. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome, Officer Hottie.”

  Great. So that had been shared too? There was no way the chief was going to believe his story about her being his girlfriend if he watched the whole encounter. He didn’t think. Then again, he had approached the car and used her name. He clearly knew her. Plus she had acted flirty. But he hadn’t responded the way a boyfriend would.

  Damn it. What a mess.

  He didn’t say anything in return to Susan and she started laughing. Actually, cackling. “This is what happens when you start stripping. Women are throwing themselves at you.”

  “I bet you want me, too, then, Susan. I saw you at Tap That last night.”

  Her smile fell off her face. “Jim knows I was there. It’s for charity.”

  “Exactly.” He gave her a wink. “See you later.”

  She looked flustered.

  Leaving the building, he was determined to not be bothered by anyone razzing him. But he did not want to be written up. He could take heat. He could take the joke going on for months. But he had aspirations. He wanted to make detective. He did not want to be written up over something so innocent.

  Well. Innocent wasn’t the right word.

  But it wasn’t like he had fucked up his job. Or put anyone in harm’s way. Or taken a bribe.

  Sliding into his squad car, he was about to call the number on the paper when his saw his mother was calling him.

  “Shit.” If he didn’t answer it, she would just keep calling. Time to just take it like a man. “Hello?”

  “Can you explain to your mother why you are kissing a woman on the internet?”

  He fought the urge to sigh. “Because I didn’t know the camera was running.”

  “This is very erratic behavior, Axl. I know you’ve been struggling since your discharge but maybe you need to talk to someone.”

  Now he did sigh. He could never wrap his head around why his mother couldn’t just accept that he was a loner. He had not been struggling. Jesus. She worried endlessly about him, which worried him. “Mom. It’s fine. Leighton and I know each other.”

  “I suppose that’s reassuring on some level. But unless you’re engaged to be married, not really.”

  Shit. She reached right for the hard stuff. “Mom, I have to go. I’m at work.”

  “Call me later,” she demanded.

  “I will.” And tell her what, he had no idea. He had inadvertently turned up the heat on himself. His mother already thought he was a hea
d case.

  He called the number on the paper Susan had given him. Leighton answered immediately.

  “This is Leighton Van Buren.”

  “Hi, this is Axl. Look, I’m really sorry—“

  She cut him off. “Axl, I need your help. Please. Do you know anyone who would want to get married next Saturday? Winnie’s fiancé canceled and if I don’t find a replacement I’m going to get fired. My producer straight up told me that.”

  He was momentarily taken aback. He had thought she’d be calling about the kiss but clearly that was not first and foremost in her mind. That was a little insulting, he wasn’t going to lie.

  “Uh… no. I can’t say that I do. Rick and Sloane aren’t even engaged yet and none of my other friends are dating anyone.” Brandon was living it up in Chicago as a party boy businessman and Jesse was getting ass left right and center on the road as a pro hockey player. Marriage was not on his mind.

  Then there was Sullivan. He doubted Sullivan would ever get married again. Not after losing Kendra so young.

  “Dang it. This is not good. They saw the video of us too, by the way.”

  “Who is they?”

  Leighton had a smooth feminine voice but now it sounded high-pitched and a little frantic. “Everyone!”

  “I’m sorry about that. It was impulsive.” He didn’t regret it, despite the heat he was taking. Of course, he said that now. If that went on record he might, no matter how sweet and delicious Leighton was.

  “I should have pulled away,” she wailed. “I didn’t stop you at all. I liked it.” She sounded scandalized by that.

  The fact that she liked it mattered more than it should. “Kissing is fun. You wanted to be fun. I don’t see what the problem is.” He didn’t. Not for her. What did her boss care if she was rubbing bodies with a small-town cop? Though he supposed she was probably being paid for her time in Beaver Bend. That might annoy the powers-that-be that she had been briefly unprofessional.

  “I don’t think anyone particularly cares that we were, you know,” she said. “They care more about wasting resources by being here in Minnesota and not being able to film an episode. And they think I’m distracted and Todd canceling is my fault because I didn’t massage his concerns enough. That I was too busy having some full-blown love affair.”

  “It was one kiss,” he protested. “Though I have to tell you, I had to tell the chief of police we met online months ago.” He looked out of the window like someone might suddenly appear and overhear his confession. “Sorry about that. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

  This was the problem with impulsiveness. Then you had to backpedal.

  There was a pause, then she said, “You didn’t. I was flattered. Men don’t usually just spontaneously kiss me.”

  Then she was hanging around the wrong men. “I was serious about getting a drink. And if I can help you in any way with the show, let me know. I don’t know Todd or I would talk to him.”

  “You can produce a whirlwind romance I can film and make the producer and Sadie happy.”

  Axl had an idea. Actually, maybe he could credit Chief Darcy with it. His boss had handed him an out. Now he could hand Leighton an out. It was a crazy idea. But it was what his grandfather would say was killing two birds with one stone. Saving both their asses in one fell swoop. “How about you film us?”

  He was a practical guy. He wanted to spend time with Leighton, especially of the naked variety. He would get unlimited access to her for a week. Plus, neither of them would get fired or written up or busted on. He had no intention of getting married in real life, and he constantly had his mother on his ass about that. People were starting to question whether he was normal. If they thought he was with Leighton, and then the relationship tanked, they would leave him alone to lick his supposed wounds.

  Pretending they were falling in love on camera was a diversionary tactic that could save both their jobs and let him live his life as a bachelor in peace. It would buy him a year at least from familial concern and harassment. Leighton would get the show she wanted to make her boss happy.

  It was so simple and perfect it was kind of genius.

  “Are you insane?” Leighton said, her voice cracking. “We can’t do that!”

  He pictured her full breasts, her narrow waist, her generous hips. He envisioned lifting that sundress over her head and having those curves all access. He wanted to flick his tongue between her legs, then drive his cock into her while gripping those soft thighs.

  “Why not?”

  * * *

  Leighton had an upset stomach from eating not one, but two, ice cream cones, and from anxiety churning her insides. She had called around and hadn’t found a replacement couple. Jill had told her not to post on social media because they would look desperate.

  She felt pretty damn desperate.

  In her hotel room, she was pacing back and forth in front of the window. Jackson had mentioned he had a lake view. She had a view of the dumpster, which seemed appropriate. Her career was a dumpster fire.

  Now she was on the phone with Axl, who might have given her the best first kiss ever, except that it was under the worst circumstances possible. She would be in trouble at work with or without the kiss but it was not making the situation any better.

  She couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. The man sounded serious. He didn’t seem like a prankster bullshit joke around kind of guy. But she didn’t know him at all so she could be totally wrong. “Are you pulling my leg?” she asked him.

  Axl actually gave a chuckle. “Sometimes you say things that sound like my grandpa. It’s adorable.”

  It was actually a habit that annoyed her mother. She wanted her to be more on trend with her slang but it just wasn’t her personality to be using the current catch phrase. “My father is seventy-five years old. I grew up on his phrasing. He’s also German, so the combination is interesting, to say the least.”

  “Wow, your dad had you at forty-nine? I applaud his energy.”

  “He’s a very good father,” she said. “But not exactly the get-down-on-the-floor-and-play-dolls-with-his-daughter type.” Back and forth she walked, agitated and distracted. “Though I don’t really want to talk about my childhood when my future is at stake.”

  “Fair enough. So are you on board with my plan?”

  “I don’t understand your plan.” She didn’t.

  “My plan is we have a whirlwind romance and we get married on Saturday.”

  Leighton needed to sit down. She also needed a stiff drink, the kind her father said would grow hair on your chest. She might also need some oxygen because she suddenly could not breathe.

  “You want to get married?” she managed to choke out. Never, ever in her wildest dreams did she envision being pseudo proposed to over the phone by a man she barely knew.

  “Well, fake married. We can use someone for the ceremony who isn’t really ordained. Think about it. The ratings for a wedding after a quick romance will be huge.”

  It would be. There was no doubt about that. A clandestine love story. An immersion romance. Everyone would love it. Jill would love it. Viewers would eat it up.

  Oddly, Leighton thought she might love it too. A whole week with Axl the police officer? Having him fawn over her and dote on her? What woman wouldn’t want that?

  But it was lying. She would be letting her friends and family and co-workers think that she had a hot boyfriend who was madly in love with her.

  Though now that she thought about it, that was appealing too. Everyone always felt just a little sorry for her. Sorry that she wasn’t skinny, sorry that she was shy, sorry that she didn’t date a merry-go-round of men. It might not be the most humble quality to want everyone to see her as capable of making a man fall head over ass for her in a week flat, but there it was. She was never quite enough for everyone and this would make her seem like she was. It was tantalizing.

  She had to question if she was a good enough actress, though, to convince people she wan
ted to get married on five days’ notice. “I’m kind of a nervous Nellie if you haven’t noticed,” she said. “I’m not sure I can pull something like that off.”

  “I can take the lead.”

  “What’s in this for you?” she asked because this was his home town. Having a romance and wedding that then ended as abruptly as it began would disrupt his life big time. “There could be big consequences to your personal life doing something like this.”

  “I care more about my job than my personal life. I don’t really see myself getting married and having kids. I’m kind of the guy destined to go through life alone.”

  He didn’t sound upset about that. Just matter of fact. But it made Leighton’s heart melt in sympathy and understanding. She often felt that way about herself. That she was destined to be alone. Instantly, she felt calmer. Sinking onto the bed, she said, “Oh. I totally get that.”

  Everything inside her felt squishy when she thought about a man like Axl feeling lonely. The strong, stoic man who hid his emotions. The quintessential Minnesotan. Did his duty and went home to his empty house. Who didn’t date because women wanted marriage eventually and he didn’t want to mislead them.

  “I can meet you at the hotel you’re staying at tonight after my shift and we can talk about it.”

  Leighton shivered in anticipation. A fake romance meant very real kissing, and she had no qualms about that. “I thought you said you work until eleven.”

  “What better time to kindle a romance than at night?”

  That made her feel warm. She wondered how real the fake would be. The kiss had been amazing. Axl had made her feel delicate and desirable and she had been caught up in the moment. “Sure. Okay. I can meet you in the hotel bar.” It was poky and dark and a little dated but it would do. She wasn’t ready to just invite Axl into her hotel room.

  “Perfect. I’ll be there by quarter after.”