by Blue Stour
What she craved more than sex was a partner in her life. She wanted someone to not only share her time and affection with, but Michelle really wanted someone there for her son, as well. Things had gotten so bland in her life that her idea of a great date was a DVD, new batteries, and Chinese food.
The man she couldn’t get over was obviously over her. As far as she knew, he was living a reckless and carefree lifestyle as he fulfilled his dream. She refused to seek out the truth; the loss nearly destroyed her once, and she couldn’t have K.T. see her go through that, again.
Michelle, on the other hand, was struggling to raise a son and make ends meet as a part-time nurse and a college drop-out. Fortunately, all she needed to fulfill her degree requirements was to return to college and complete her senior year. With her single-mother responsibilities, however, she just couldn’t.
In her thirties, she still dependent on her parents to help provide love and support for her son, the love and support she couldn’t provide. Those were things that his father should have been doing—if only he knew.
Stubbornly, Michelle wasn’t about to be the reason that kept him from continuing his life-long goal of professional baseball; she knew how much it meant to him.
Instead, she continued as she had been. Perhaps unrealistically, she held out hope that maybe one day the truth might bring them back together. Until then, she forced herself to be content with just her and K.T.
The last thing she had heard from Kade was the one time he was home for a family funeral. He was playing minor league baseball in Kentucky or Minnesota and on a fast-track to the pros, as far as she knew.
So, Michelle tried to live her life as if she never knew a Kade Toney at all. Never knew him, never carried his child, and certainly never loved him; he had to be dead to her.
Chapter 2
As an energetic eighth grader, Michelle was dancing and laughing with the other junior-high girls. Kade, meanwhile, was sitting in a row of chairs along the wall with “his boys.” He and his friends didn’t dance; that just wouldn’t have been “cool.”
Everyone knew that Kade was Mr. Athlete. He was envied by virtually all of his classmates. Likewise, everyone knew Michelle as the gorgeous genius.
“Ask her to dance, man,” Kade’s best friend urged him at the dance. “She’ll say yes; you’re Kade, man.”
“I don’t know, Bobby,” the future heartthrob said. “She’s really pretty. I’m kind of shy. What do I say to her? We talk a lot in class, especially homeroom, but this is diff . . .”
“Want to dance, Kade?” Michelle surprised both of them by sneaking behind the boys as Lionel Richie’s #1 hit from earlier that year, “Hello,” played.
“Umm,” Kade stuttered in young-teen-boy shock as Bobby urged them to go. “Yeah, sure; let’s go.”
“Hello” would become their song. As the two danced, teachers and students alike took notice. The conversation was the typical youthful-crush silence while they swayed in each other’s arms.
“………………,” she said.
“……….,” he responded.
“Thanks for the dance, Kade,” Michelle said as the song finished. “Why don’t you find me later, and we’ll dance again.”
With that, Kade took his hands off of her developing, curvy hips. Meanwhile, she removed her arms from above his broadening shoulders.
From that initial “Hello,” the two became inseparable. All through their time at Tazewell High, they were high-school sweethearts. As seniors, they were voted best couple. Even before then, they had already planned their college lives around each other. People just knew that they would eventually get married, have children, and be an amazing couple.
In addition to turning into extraordinary athletes, they were also highly-competitive in the classroom. In fact, Michelle’s 3.89 GPA made her the class salutatorian. The only other student in her graduating class of 363 with a higher G.P.A. was Kade. They both could have gone to any college.
Also, as they progressed through high school, the “dream couple” was receiving more and more attention. However, even though they were the best couple in their class, Michelle gradually became known simply as Kade Toney’s girlfriend.
“We can’t afford all the student loans, baby; I’ll have to have enough loans, myself,” Michelle told him. “I know you’re getting a full-ride, but I’m looking at half-scholarship, at best. We can’t start our lives in debt.”
“Chelle, I have to go away; you know that, right?” Kade asked. “From what I’ve heard, I have a great shot at being drafted. They’re not going to draft me from a local community college. After I hit the pros, we’ll be set for life.”
“My basketball career in college will just pay for part of my schooling,” Michelle agreed. “You go to school. I’ll go to college here. Then, I’ll meet you where ever you decide to attend after two years of community college; I can play some ball here, save money, and then transfer to the four-year school to play ball after two years, wherever you’re at.”
Kade hated to see her seem so resigned but it really was for the best. Soon enough they’d be set and he’d make sure Michelle was taken care of the way she should be. Right then, though, their plan was to just get there.
Despite the plans they made in tenth grade, she surprisingly improved to the point of becoming one of the most heavily-recruited female basketball players in the state of Virginia. Turning down full-ride scholarships to the University of Virginia, University of Tennessee, and the University of Michigan, among others, she remained true to their plan. Tazewell’s two-time Most Valuable Player quietly settled on Southwest Virginia Community College.
Unlike his girlfriend’s anti-climactic and highly-disappointing career, Kade’s high school athletic legacy had gotten off to a booming start and only gained momentum. As a freshman, Kade was an all-State baseball player in the spring. Before that, he was also an all-Conference quarterback for the football team. Between his two favorite sports seasons, he was becoming quite the wrestler. The winter sport was “just something to do to stay in shape between the fall and spring.”
His remaining three years of high school saw the class valedictorian continue to earn accolades. Besides earning all-State honors as a quarterback three times, he was a two-time state champion wrestler, and all-Stater on the diamond all four years. Kade was usually plastered all over the local newspapers.
In addition to earning twelve Varsity Letters, Kade left Tazewell High School with a plethora of school records in the three sports. However, his honors weren’t limited to only the athletic arenas.
While achieving his athletic accomplishments, the young gunslinger boasted a best-in-his-class 3.95 grade point average on a 4.0 scale. Obviously, the athletic scholar had his choice of colleges.
When the time came for him to accept a full-ride scholarship, it was a big deal. TV stations and newspapers gathered in the school’s gymnasium for the press conference. Kade, the athletic director, and the superintendent sat at a table before a crowd of about 30-40 audience members, including his parents and girlfriend.
Why wouldn’t Michelle be there? Just seeing her in the crowd calmed his nerves a bit. He winked at her and shyly smirked when he saw her blush. As he was to her, she was his everything.
The anxious media and community patiently wondered if he would choose football or baseball. Though a long shot, he had even received some interest to wrestle in college.
The superintendent gave a rousing introduction and brief speech before turning the floor over to the athletic director, Mr. Kolski. Briefly mentioning how Kade was probably the greatest athlete in the school’s 96-year history and, arguably, one of its best scholars, the A.D. introduced the man of the hour.
“Hi. I’m Kade Toney,” the soft-spoken and humble eighteen-year old stuttered. “Thank you for coming out and your interest in Tazewell
High School. I’ve spent a lot of time discussing this with my family, girlfriend, and our athletic director, Mr. Kolski. We’ve decided that I will pursue my degree and play baseball at . . . the University of Southeast Arizona. Their coach and I believe I can start as a freshman and their biology department is second to none. Go U.S.A. and thank y’all for coming.”
After fielding a few questions, Kade walked over to Michelle and his parents. All three sat smiling, proud of the young man. After hugging his mom and shaking his dad’s hand, he hugged and kissed Michelle.
“Mom, Dad, ‘Chelle,” Kade quietly began as he held Michelle’s hand. “Thank you for everything you’ve done. I wouldn’t be here without my parents and you, Michelle. Someday, soon--but not too soon--Dad, relax, her and I will get married and y’all will have your grandbabies; thanks for getting me this far.”
Chapter 3
While Kade raced off to pursue his dream of professional baseball and ensure their future together, Michelle stayed home to attend college. According to their plan, she was going to play ball at SWVCC, earn her Associate’s Degree, and then join Kade at U.S.A. Neither saw this as Michelle sacrificing her immediate plans but more ensuring their future.
As she concentrated on hoops and homework, Michelle had no idea that Kade’s move away would mean that he would become a completely different person. While uncharacteristically just skating by in the classrooms and prospering as a future professional jock, he was devoting most of his time to booze and women.
Kade’s transformation began just before his freshman year started at the University of Southeastern Arizona. Actually, it all began the day he moved onto the U.S.A. campus after Michelle and his parents left.
Like countless other freshmen away from home for the first time, the quiet, hometown hero became a completely opposite version of himself once he discovered independence; life was good for him, his roommate, and their suitemates.
“There be so much hot chicks here, man,” his 5’9”, 140-pound suitemate, Julio, reported in broken English. “Dis is so much remind me of me home in Floreeda. Where from you, Kane? Where you play baseball position?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard,” Kade shyly replied about the college girls with a laugh. “I’m Kade, though, not Kane; I’m from Virginia, and I play third base.”
At that moment, Kade’s roommate burst in carrying a suitcase and a beer. Wearing sunglasses and his cap backwards, obviously he showed up without a shy bone in his body.
“What’s up, boys?” he welcomed himself into the room. “I understand this is a baseball dorm, so I guess you clowns will be my teammates, eh? I’m Lefty; I’m a pitcher from Chi-Town. Who the hell are you guys?”
“Me Julio. I a second baseman from Florieeda. I your roommate.”
“I’m Kade; third baseman from Virginia.”
“And I’m Vinny. I’m a catcher from Texas. Kade, here, and I are roomies and suitemates with y’all two.”
“Well, it’s damn good to meet ya,” Lefty said. “This is a lot different than Chicago. Oh well. C’mon with me to my car; I brought a couple of cases of beer to celebrate our first night together.”
When Kade first left Tazewell, he and Michelle’s inseparable romance became a long-distance love affair that they both were prepared to handle, so they had thought. They were connected only by two-three phone calls per-day. Then, within the first month, the calls were—maybe—every other day. By Halloween, Kade’s “busy schedule” only allowed them to talk a couple of times per-week.
During Thanksgiving break, Michelle rudely received her first clue that his plans may not really include her. With his first return home scheduled during the four-day holiday/weekend, Kade cancelled at the last minute.
Suspiciously, Kade didn’t call her, nor did he answer any of her calls during that time. His only defense was that he was cramming for finals and had spent a ton of time in the batting cages and working out. Since most other students were off campus, he took advantage of the alone-time in the cages, he said. Kade enthusiastically told her he was also able to get a lot of fielding practice in the gym with the coach.
The once-shy teenager with eyes for only one girl became a player, overnight. By the time his first Christmas break ended, he was single . . . with numerous other women at his disposal. Kade was thriving in his college-athlete status. Furthermore, he was drinking at least four nights per week.
For the first time since he moved to Arizona, he returned to his parents’ home for the break. With no other option, Kade decided to go break things off, officially, with Michelle. It wasn’t something he was looking forward to actually doing, but he knew going on like they had been wasn’t fair to her, neither.
“I’m growing up, Michelle,” he told his five-year girlfriend in a calm, unaffected voice. “We’ve been inseparable since 8th grade. Don’t you want to see what or who else is out there? I just need to completely devote myself to baseball, right now; I don’t want to hold you back.”
Kade knew he was partially lying but he did it to save her pain. If Michelle knew the truth of what he’d been doing it would only make it worse.
Kade’s return home to Small Town, Virginia was a big deal to all who knew him. Even though Michelle knew he was coming, she also knew—deep down—that he wasn’t coming for her.
Knowing and believing were still two completely different things. Michelle couldn’t believe that she was no longer part of Kade’s dreams.
“So when did you come to this realization, Kade?” Michelle stood on her front porch in the cold begging for an answer about his life-altering decision that he was dropping on her. “What about us getting married, our kids, our plans, our dreams, ME SALVAGING MY DREAMS FOR US?
Speechless, Kade couldn’t say anything. He simply stood tight-lipped, unable to muster a defense.
“Kade, how long have we talked about getting married, our children, our future?” Michelle said in tears as she slapped him across the chest of his winter coat. “I even stayed here to go to community college to save money before going after my dreams at a university. Kade, I’m playing basketball at a small college, and I could’ve had any big university I wanted. DO YOU REMEMBER? I don’t have a future in basketball like you do baseball, but I sacrificed what I have for our dream!”
“You deserve all of those things, ‘Chelle,” Kade tried to sympathize as he finally broke his awkward silence. “It’s just not with me, anymore. I have different dreams, now.”
As far as Kade’s dream, baseball was the only certainty. Beyond that, he wasn’t sure anymore. All he knew was that his future didn’t have room for Michelle. There were far too many eager opportunities willing to help him pass the time off the field.
On that cold, December morning, in Virginia, Michelle’s tears were slowly falling from her brown eyes like water from an icicle. More embarrassed than hurt at the time, it didn’t seem real; how could he?
After all, regardless of that fact that she felt it brewing, Michelle loved Kade. She had just always figured that in his own quiet way he loved her the same.
“Okay, Kade,” Michelle finally relented after thirty minutes on her porch. “Go ahead and go, asshole. You’ll be sorry. You know we belong with each other!”
“I know, Michelle; I’m scared,” Kade responded, secretly thankful to be getting away. “Take care of yourself and good luck. I do love you, you know that, right?”
Kade said it; not that he figured she’d believe it at the moment, but he did. His love for her was the main reason he had to let her go. Life at the plate had taken him in too many different directions at once and none pointed toward her.
Chapter 4
After Michelle and Kade broke-up, they went their own separate ways. Youthful ignorance combined with male pride kept him away from her. Trying to posses some dignity kept her away from him. Except for their one drunken
encounter after his senior eligibility had ended at U.S.A.--the Kane Night--they didn’t associate.
Just a few days before he was drafted by the Cubs, he had returned home for his grandmother’s funeral. Michelle saw him at a local gas station in what was a rare visit back to Virginia. She was clueless about his playing career because she refused to follow his progress; it was still too painful.
“THE Kade Toney,” Michelle hesitantly said as she snuck up behind him at the checkout line. “Well, how have you been?”
Turning around, Kade was pleasantly surprised.
“Michelle Tucker! Oh my God!” He said as he turned around and hugged her. “Don‘t know if you‘ve heard, but I’m back for Nana’s funeral. What’s up with you?”
After a few hellos and catching up, Michelle agreed to meet for a drink to reacquaint some more. However, one drink soon turned to two; two turned into three, and so on. Not only had they shared some memories and laughs but more than a few dances throughout the evening.
With each dance Kade held her tighter and Michelle leaned further into his touch. The way their bodies were practically plastered against each other hadn’t felt wrong to Michelle. After all, it was Kade, her Kade.
She found herself closing her eyes as his warm breath caressed her ear while they swayed to another slow song with a doleful steel guitar and lyrics of love-gone-wrong.
Michelle had played this moment in her head many times over the past few years but couldn’t find the strength to walk away like she had done so many times in her mind. Instead, his words had her immobilized.
“I want you, ‘Chelle,” he mumbled into her ear in the sexiest Kade-voice that she missed so much.
“’Chelle?”
“We can’t, Kade.”It wasn’t what she wanted to say but what she knew she should say.
“I want you so fucking bad, right now.”He pushed his thigh harder between her thighs. With every move his thick leg ground against the seam of her jeans and sent a shudder through her body. “I can feel your body quiver and I know your body like I know my own. You want me, too.”
