“What’s on your mind, Derek?” she whispered.
“You…” I saw no reason to lie “…how I can’t imagine life without you.”
She sat up on the bed and brushed her hand over my neck. There was no tension, no apprehension between either one of us. We remained guarded when around others, but once alone, there was a familiarity, a rhythm, almost a dance between us. It was one of the reasons she made me feel so… known.
“I don’t know if this means anything to you,” she began to say, and then hesitated as if she were trying to weigh her words very carefully.
I inwardly scoffed at her statement. It was rare for any word coming from those sweet lips of hers not to mean something to me.
“What?” I coaxed her.
I doubted she could’ve possibly known how moved I was by what she said next.
“From the moment I got here, all I’ve wanted to do was escape and go back home, but Derek…” she placed a gentle kiss over my cheek “…you’ve begun to feel like home.”
Home.
The word and all the sensations it lent me the moment it escaped her lips were still circling my mind the next morning as I sat on the living room couch, my eyes glued to one of the members of the Elite – Claudia, a capricious and vain female vampire who managed to convince my father and brother that she had our family’s best interests at heart.
I still wasn’t sure about her true motives. Before my sleep, she made more than one attempt to foster a relationship with me. I found her very presence, beautiful as she is, repugnant. Still, she requested my audience and I had no reason to deny her that request. I could barely hear what she was saying – meaningless pleasantries that meant nothing to me, because my mind was still so wrapped up in what Sofia had implied last night.
Did she mean that I was the reason she would want to remain here at the Shade?
Claudia just finished her babbling and was waiting for some sort of response. A social cue. Considering how I wasn’t really listening and didn’t actually hear a word she said, I simply eyed her from head to foot and ignored everything she’d just been jabbering about.
“I see you’ve done quite well for yourself, Claudia,” I commented, noting her designer outfits and the aura of extravagance surrounding her.
“It’s all thanks to you, isn’t it, my prince?” she smiled.
“Let’s not lose ourselves in small talk, shall we? Why did you want to see me?” I asked her, eager to get to business and get rid of her.
I momentarily eyed the young man standing behind her by the door, waiting on her. Blonde, gray eyes, well-built – very much the type Claudia enjoyed exploiting. My jaw tightened, remembering why I detested being around the vampire who was at least thirty years older than I was, though she was turned at the tender age of seventeen.
Claudia’s long lashes fluttered as she straightened on her seat. “Other than to pay my beloved prince homage, of course, I’m just really curious.”
“Curious about what?”
“Curious about whom, you mean. Well, I’ve been hearing so much about your beautiful, redheaded pet. I was curious to find out what kind of girl was able to get Derek Novak himself all up in a knot.”
I grimaced. Claudia’s interest in Sofia was not exactly something I had reason to rejoice over. Before I could even open my mouth to answer, however, I heard Sofia’s laughter coming from outside. She and the girls had gone out for a walk, escorted by Sam and Kyle. It seemed they had quite a good time – a feeling I didn’t really share considering how my gut clenched as I rose to my feet.
Claudia and Sofia meeting wasn’t something I found myself eagerly anticipating. It was too late, however, because Sofia just came through the front door, a smile on her face, her green eyes twinkling with delight.
Claudia stood up, turned and eyed Sofia from head to feet.
“So this is her.” She said, enviously.
As if that weren’t already bad enough, something else about the awkward situation began eating at me. Apart from the obvious disdain for Sofia that Claudia had in her eyes, I was bothered by the pure shock on Sofia’s face the moment she laid eyes on Claudia’s slave.
“Ben,” she gasped, tears moistening her eyes.
The same amount of shock was evident in the boy’s face upon seeing her. His face paled as fearful concern replaced his sallow and indifferent appearance only moments before. Sofia threw her arms around him and he returned her embrace. As he leaned his chin over the top of her head, he looked my way. I could almost hear the accusations and the threats he was throwing my way. It was obvious that he feared for Sofia, that he was concerned over what I could’ve already possibly done to her.
A snide smirk formed on Claudia’s face as she stared at the reunion between her slave and mine.
“Interesting. Very interesting indeed.”
I stood there, not knowing what to do. Or what to think. But I was sure that what I was seeing right there in front of me, was Sofia embracing her reason to leave the Blood Shade forever.
CHAPTER 23: SOFIA
Chills were running down my spine as I eased into Ben’s strong arms that wrapped tightly around me. There were so many questions running through my mind, so much anxiety over what he’d been through. I didn’t know whether to be happy or to be horrified that I would see him in a place like the Blood Shade.
“With all due respect, my beloved prince,” Derek’s guest purred in a tone that made me think of no other word than seduction, “I don’t like other girls touching what’s mine, and from the look on your face, I doubt you’re enjoying this sight either.”
I could feel Ben’s body tense the moment she spoke. It was sickening to think of the possibilities surrounding his presence at the Shade. I wanted to speak, to say something to him, ask him at least one of the questions swimming around in my head, but I knew that the moment I tried, I wouldn’t be able to hold back the sobs. I wanted to hold on to him, but we both knew that we had to let go. Holding on was nothing but trouble… for both of us, so we reluctantly let go of each other and stood still in front of the man and woman keeping us captive.
“Who is he, Sofia?” Derek asked.
I didn’t miss the tension in his voice. “A friend.”
His gorgeous blonde guest wrinkled her nose in question. “Just a friend?!”
“The best I’ve ever had,” I replied, my voice breaking in the process as a tear ran down my cheek.
“Grant me a request, will you, Claudia?” Derek spoke up, his eyes fixed on me.
I couldn’t make out the expression on his face. I wasn’t sure if I vexed him in any way. For some reason, my heart went out to him. I felt like I wanted to assure him that Ben being there changed nothing between us, but that was a lie. It changed everything. I remembered what I told him the night before – that he’d begun to feel like home. I can never forget the way he looked at me afterwards – like I meant the world to him. I was so moved by how this strong and powerful man could look at me that way. It was strange, because at that moment, I felt like I had the power and he was the one who was vulnerable and under my mercy.
As I stood beside Ben, fearing for him, I took another glance at the master I’d grown to deeply care about and began to wonder. Is it possible for me to break Derek?
I snapped out of my internal monologue when I realized how disgustedly Claudia was looking at me.
“Yes, your Majesty? What can I do for you?”
Derek made his way to her, his hand snaking along her waist from behind as he pulled her back against his body. She didn’t hide the delight in her face as she eyed me as if she’d somehow won something over me. My gut clenched. I had the strangest reaction to seeing Derek touch another woman the way he was touching her. It was quite similar to the way I felt when I saw Ben at the beach with Tanya, but this was different… more intense... more painful. I hated to admit it, but I was jealous. I wanted to give in to the irrational urge to slap Derek in the face and rip Claudia’s hair off, but tha
t would only spell trouble so I looked away instead.
What Derek said next completely crushed all my resolve to ignore him for the rest of the day.
“As you already know, Claudia, the lovely Sofia has become very precious to me, and she seems to have quite a liking for your slave here. You’ve come to pay me homage, have you not?”
Claudia’s face tensed. “I have.”
“It will please me greatly if you give me the boy. My slave, Gwen, was recently murdered as you may have already heard… I need a new one.”
“Surely there are others…” Claudia tried to protest. “I know you well enough to know that you don’t have the penchant for young men the way others do.”
Derek’s grip tightened on her waist, his mouth speaking directly to her ear. “As I said, Sofia has obviously taken a liking to him. I don’t want anyone else, because it’s this one Sofia wants. What pleases her pleases me. Do you dare deny me this request, Claudia?”
Claudia pulled away from him and straightened to her full height, as if trying to regain a dignity I doubted she even had to begin with. We all knew that to deny Derek what he was asking for would be fatal on her part. He was her prince, and he was asking for but one slave. There was no reason for her to say no. She frowned and shot me a glare before eyeing Ben with unbridled lust.
“I rather liked this one, but I have more than I know what to do with.” She approached Ben and caressed his cheek with the back of her hand. She glared at me and stood on her tiptoes as she kissed Ben on the lips.
From the way his muscles tensed the moment their lips touched, it was obvious that Ben hated her guts.
I looked at Ben and wondered if he felt toward her the way I felt toward Lucas. The sick feeling that settled in my stomach refused to go away. I refused to even start imagining what Ben had been going through while at the Shade.
Claudia took one last look at Derek. “I could never deny you anything, dear prince. I shall visit again soon.” She then walked away, disappointment evident in the scowl on her face as she returned to her home.
With her gone, I grabbed Ben’s hand and pulled him in an embrace. I eyed Derek and mouthed a sincere thank you his way. He nodded and forced a smile. Having Ben there, I found myself confused, because while I was ecstatic to see my best friend, what I felt most at that moment was how much I adored Derek for what he did. I held on tightly to Ben almost in hopes of regaining my attraction to him if I held on tight enough.
“I hate her,” Ben hissed in my ear. “I hate them all.”
I hugged him tighter. “Don’t worry, Ben. You’re okay now. Derek will keep us both safe.”
“Don’t be a fool, Sofia. We need to get out of here before he decides that he’s tired of you and kills us both.”
The idea made me sick to my stomach. What will happen if Derek ever realizes that I’m no one special… and decides he’s had enough of me? I wanted to believe that such a thing couldn’t ever happen, but Ben always had a way of swaying me with his words. I gave Derek a worried glance. It felt as though I’d just lost him.
CHAPTER 24: DEREK
I hated the tension. Since she moved into my bedroom, Sofia and I naturally developed a familiarity to each other. There wasn’t even any awkwardness to begin with. It was like we just knew how to adjust to each other. Of course, there were times when I was greatly tempted to take a sip of her blood, but it wasn’t anything a glass of blood couldn’t fix.
The night Ben arrived, however, it was like we’d become strangers to each other. The large room suddenly felt too small for the two of us. Any form of balance we’d developed over time completely disappeared. She was slipping away from my fingers by the minute.
Finally, she was lying down on her side of the bed while I sat over the edge of mine, fully intending to lose myself in a book.
She was the one who eventually broke the silence.
“Thank you, Derek. For what you did.”
I had no desire to talk about the boy, so I ignored her thankfulness and changed the topic.
“Lucas approached you earlier. What did he tell you?”
“Nothing,” she responded a little too quickly. “You know your brother… says a lot of meaningless things.”
“From the way you reacted, what he said looked far from meaningless.” I remembered what Corrine told me about Sofia’s psychological condition and how it was impossible for her not to remember what happened the night she was attacked.
“Has he been hurting you, Sofia?”
She didn’t respond. “It doesn’t matter.”
“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” I gripped the sheets of the bed, wondering why I was asking questions whose answers I wouldn’t even know how to act on.
“Has he?”
Sofia sat up on the bed and gripped my wrist.
“Why are you acting like this? You’ve seen Lucas and I interact countless times.”
“Interact? Is that what you do with Lucas?”
I knew I was being irrational and unreasonable, but the image of Sofia with Ben embracing was burning away all rational thought and reason in my mind.
“Has something been going on between you and my brother, Sofia?”
“Me and Lucas?!” She said it through gritted teeth, like it was the most disgusting thing she’d ever heard of. “That’s madness, Derek. I would never…”
I moved fast, pushing her on her back over the bed. I quickly grabbed her wrists and pinned them with one hand over her head and knelt on the bed, straddling her hips.
Her eyes grew wide in question.
“What are you doing?” she asked in a small, broken voice. “Wait! Don’t…”
I grabbed her jaw non-too-gently. It was the first time I could remember treating her in an untoward fashion since the attack the first time I ever set eyes on her. I felt like I was losing her and that it was beyond my control. I wanted to regain some form of control and unreasonable as it was, I was taking my agitation out on her.
“You’re mine, Sofia. Many things have changed between us, but that hasn’t changed.”
She didn’t respond. Instead, she just looked at me in a way she hadn’t in a long time. She looked at me with fear.
That woke me up from my momentary burst of insane rage. I let go of her and got off her, feeling like the biggest jerk ever to walk the earth. I couldn’t even look at her. I couldn’t even bear being in the same room with her. I didn’t deserve her.
I knew that I was lying when I reminded her that the fact that she was mine hadn’t changed. No matter what alpha male act I could pull off in trying to intimidate her, I knew the truth. She was no longer mine. In fact, it was the exact opposite. At some point during all those times I’d spent with her, I’d become hers.
CHAPTER 25: SOFIA
No words could explain how shaken I was over what Derek did. It was so unlike him and I couldn’t understand how he could do something like that or why he would do it. Doubts assailed my mind.
Was Ben right? Was this Derek getting tired of me?
I remained motionless on the bed long after he got off me and stormed out of the room off to…I didn’t want to know where. I was trembling, unsure of what to make out of what just happened. All sense of security I felt whenever I was in that bedroom began to wash away and I found myself terrified. Yet after a bout of self-introspection, I realized that though I resented him for treating me the way that he did, I felt more worried about Derek more than any other feeling.
It wasn’t like him to act the way that he did and the fact that he would do to me something like that… I couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong. I looked back to the reason for his outburst. He thinks there’s something going on between me and Lucas. I wanted to explain to him how that couldn’t be further from the truth, but how was I to do that? Wanting to get my mind off of what happened, I climbed off the bed, pulled a white silk robe over the cotton night shift I had on. Plagued by worrisome thoughts, I retreated to the room that containe
d memories of Derek’s smile, of a dance with music that only played in Derek’s head, of a kiss that I wanted so much, but couldn’t allow to happen.
I went to the sun room and was surprised to find Ben standing there with a look of pure bliss and unveiled fascination on his face. After Derek “acquired” Ben, we spent the rest of the day together – up until the point when I had to go to Derek’s room to get some sleep. Ben actually suggested that I stay with him, but much to his dismay, I declined. I knew that should Lucas attack that night, I would only put Ben in danger if I was found with him. The time spent with Ben felt awkward and forced. The Blood Shade had changed him in ways I knew I wouldn’t be able to fully understand. Not many words were spoken between us. We just satisfied ourselves in being around the other. I knew he had his own questions for me, and I had mine, but I assumed that both of us were afraid to know the answers to our questions. I knew I was. I wouldn’t know how to handle it if Ben started telling me something awful about his experience at the Blood Shade. I didn’t even know if I could handle telling him about what Lucas had been putting me through and why I couldn’t possibly tell Derek. Thus, to see that relaxed and almost joyous expression on his face as he viewed the sun room was a precious sight to behold.
“We call it the sun room,” I said, surprising him. “I designed the room myself. You like it?”
I stepped inside the room, putting a smile on my face, trying to forget what just happened between Derek and me. I couldn’t deny the sense of pride I had upon seeing Ben’s face and how enamored he seemed by the illusion of the sun streaming through the room. It reminded me so much of the reaction on Derek’s face when I first brought him there that it almost felt like I was cheating on Derek just by being there with Ben.
“You did this?” Ben asked, not bothering to hide his enthrallment. “Sofia, this is…incredible.”
He breathed a sigh as he approached the mural of the beach on the wall.
“What I would give to see the sun… This place and its darkness… This room is a refuge. What made you think of this?”
A Shade Of Vampire (The Mate) Page 10
