by Holly Hook
Tony rose off the floor and clenched his fists with rage. “Liars,” he said. “Mr. Doomsayer needs to go and--”
“We know,” Christina said. “We know they're lying to everyone.”
“They want people at home so they don't notice the government stealing from them,” Tony said. “My grandmother must not have any idea. She cans stuff, but that won't last her for very long.”
I remembered that Tony's grandmother lived up in Vermont or something. He'd mentioned that once. I couldn't remember where everyone's relatives lived. Jerome had a cousin in Kentucky, but she had left her home by time we got there and checked, taking her two dogs with her, so that gave us no choice but to move on last night. Jerome's mood had improved since then, just knowing she might still be alive. He hadn't been that close to her, only seeing her at family reunions once per year, but they got along well.
Dad might have left New York by now and we were sitting here, listening to the radio. It wasn't like we had a choice with the sun coming up. Everything had to settle down somewhere during the day. I just wished we could travel during the day, even though that might be more dangerous with everyone able to see us.
“...temperatures are expected to continue to fall through the next couple of weeks. We can expect freezing conditions across the northern half of the country by the end of June and far below normal conditions in the southern half of the country. The effect will be limited on the western coast, where the oceans will limit the amount of cooling. Scientists are saying these changes are a result of less sunlight reaching the planet and we are now likely in a period of global cooling rather than warming.”
“That's awesome,” Gina said.
“We need to find our people before it gets any worse,” Alana said.
The room went silent. I had to speak up. We had chosen New York as our first stop, other than Kentucky, because it would be the easiest place to start looking for our families. Alana had to go to Baltimore. Gina had to go look in Florida. That might be warmer than the rest of the country, but things would only get worse north of here. Some people had to head that way.
I had to speak. “I really think we should split up when we reach New York,” I said. “We'll find our families faster.”
The man on the radio kept talking in his Mr. Doomsayer voice. He was repeating the same thing over and over. Don't go out. Don't go into the stores and by all means, don't save yourself. It wasn't in those words, but it was there between them, just like doom had been lurking between the doctors' words over a year ago when it came to Mom. I just hadn't known to look for it at the time.
Now I knew. The man speaking didn't expect everyone to survive. Natural selection had taken over again. I wondered what kind of quarters the army was giving him to betray everyone else or if the guy was like Dr. Marson, caught up in a bad situation and not knowing what to do.
Tony cleared his throat. “I think that's a good idea since we're, you know, running out of time.”
“I know I was supposed to promise to stay with everyone,” I said. “I think it's almost time to split up. We have to.” It would be better this way. There might be no way to see if anyone in our group died or survived the coming months. That would save us all a lot of pain and suffering.
Alana's eyes were tearing up in the dim light. “We can't,” she said.
I felt like the worst person in the room. “I don't mean we should all go off by ourselves,” I said. “We can stay in groups. People who have to go south go south, and anyone going north goes north together.”
“I don't have anywhere to go,” Jerome said. He wrapped his arm around me and I welcomed it, not just because it was so cold in the room and his body heat was amazing. When he held me, I didn't feel like I had to handle all this alone. I felt like I had someone with me who understood, who got it. “I'll stay with you, Laney.”
Jerome and I were both beating ourselves up about the people we had lost. We were holding on, trying not to drown, only I wasn't sure how long I could. I was opening myself up, letting my shield down and making myself vulnerable to loss again. I hated it, but I wasn't sure if I could stop it.
Jerome took the suckiness away for a while.
It was too tempting to resist.
“I'm staying with you, too,” Alana told me. “My grandparents are in Baltimore. That's not too far from New York. I mean, we'll have to travel, but not all the way to Florida.”
Gina coughed. “I'll have to be in the group going south. Christina has an aunt and cousins in South Carolina. Jasmine has some relatives in Georgia. We'll stay together.”
I was going to miss Gina. Once we split from New York, we might never see each other again. It wasn't like Facebook was around anymore, at least for most of the population. Cell phones had become useless. Even though the pulse hadn't knocked out every single thing, it had almost certainly knocked out the satellites in space that made phone communication possible. Well, unless you were the government or other important people. Dr. Marson had access to some secret frequency that the government maintained in case of things like this.
I had let myself like Gina too much and now I was suffering loss all over again.
But Jerome and Alana...I might not have to lose them after all. Maybe there was such thing as hope. I was letting that monster get to me and I was getting more helpless before it all the time.
Tony raised his hand. “Anyone going north of New York? I have to go to Maine.”
I remembered. Maine was where his grandmother was.
“I'm going with you,” Mina said. “I don't have family over here.”
So there it was—our fates. You couldn't tear Tony and Mina apart.
Death would try. I knew it would. When food got short, there was only a miniscule chance we'd all survive. Maine might be better for that, but the cold...it was coming. Isolation would help, though.
Maybe Jerome and Alana and I could try something like that once we found our people.
“That's it, then,” I said. “When we reach New York, we split.”
Chapter Three
Tony suggested that Jerome and I get first dibs on where we slept for the day. I told him it wasn't a big deal, but he pointed out that I was the one who drove in the ice storm and Jerome and I were the ones who cooked while everyone else got the easy jobs.
“You do everything, Laney,” Tony said, “or you try to.”
“He's right,” Alana told me. “You do all the horrible things and you don't have to.”
“I feel like I need to,” I said to her, lowering my voice. The living room was crowded, and it didn't do me a whole lot of good to try that. “It's just...” I looked to Jerome for backup. I hadn't let slip to Alana yet that I felt responsible for Mom's ultimate death—heck, I hadn't even let that slip to myself until the army base. It had been there in those pictures I used to draw, with the storms and the darkness closing in on the gardens and flowers that used to be my life. I just hadn't realized it until a couple of days ago. “Nothing. It's just nothing.”
“It's not nothing,” Alana said. “I'm your best friend, Laney. There's something going on with you.”
“There's stuff going on with all of us,” I said.
Jerome shifted like he wasn't sure if he should take over. I gave him a little nod. I didn't want my best friend to know what I was, or about the failure I had made over one year ago. I was the one protecting Alana from the bullies in elementary school, keeping Christina from picking on her on the playground. It was me who tutored her through Algebra one year and helped her become one of the best students in the class. Right now, I was the closest thing she had to a mom, even though she was getting better. Letting Alana know my biggest failure would ruin her faith in me. I had to make sure everyone could look to me in a time like this.
That wouldn't last much longer, anyway. When we got to New York, we'd be saying more final goodbyes.
“Let's all get some sleep,” Jerome said. “Laney and I will head upstairs to see what we can find. We'
re all tired. Tomorrow we'll hit the road one last time and I think we can get into the city.”
Alana turned away. I felt like she was giving up on trying to crack my shell.
I thought of Dad at the Holiday Inn. It was supposed to be on Chuck Avenue. I'd looked at that dot on the brochure map many, many times. I knew New York traffic was bad, but things might have changed since disaster struck. New York was as big as they got when it came to cities.
Things would not be boring there.
Jerome and I headed up the creaky stairs. I took a breath on the top landing. The air was a bit dusty, but clean. No one had died here. It was a welcome break. The people fleeing to the west side of the country were getting a rude awakening right now. I wondered if any would make it to Colton and thought of what they would find there. They might even settle in my house, thinking that the dust storms were temporary and that there would be more food and people coming. The desert might prove to be their death.
I opened the first door to find a really formal-looking bedroom that must belong to some farming couple. There were pictures of family on the walls and a Bible verse hanging above the bed. I opened the next door in the hall to find what must be a teenager's room. Judging from the framed, autographed Batman posters on the walls and the shelf of comic books, a lot of them in protective sleeves, it might be a boy, but there were a few girls in my school that were into the superhero thing.
Then I spotted the boxers strewn on the floor and the guys’ T-shirts that were also thrown around. Yeah. It was a boy who lived here. A backpack lay against the wall to be forgotten for whoever knew how long. This family had left in a hurry.
“It reminds me of my room,” Jerome said, stepping in. “Just without the autographed Batman posters. I’d kill for those.”
He wasn’t planning on taking them. It was something that made me like Jerome even more. This was sacred space and I felt like we were intruding. Someone around our age spent his time in here among his comics and collectibles the same way I spent time with my drawings and Alana spent time with her younger brother. Or used to. Those things were all in the past now.
“I hope the kid can come back someday,” I said, looking at the strewn clothes. The kid’s parents had rushed him out of here and he probably wanted to take his posters with him, but everything was survival only right now. I wondered what had made the family want to leave. What they had heard or seen. The parents might have gone into town and seen the rioting or looting that caused the shattered windows at the McDonald’s and the other fast food places. Maybe one of them knew what the government was really doing or decided to flee to safer pastures before the cold hit. It was a sign that things were only going to get worse.
“I do, too,” Jerome said. “I’m glad Mina and Tony didn’t get this room. They’d probably desecrate it. Did you hear them the night we spent in that administration building? They were going at it.”
“No,” I admitted. “I was too tired and conked out. Mina’s all changed now since she almost died back in Colton.” I wished I could change, to experience that magic that made her love life so much more. I felt like nothing could free me until I found Dad alive and well. Then maybe, just maybe, I could get better at letting this hope in and keeping it. It was already fleeing now that breakfast was over and we were all thinking about the reality outside again.
Raindrops hit the window. They sounded solid, like sleet must be. Jerome parted the curtains, which were tight and closed, to look on the brownish world. “Sleet,” he confirmed. “It’s a bunch of little white balls coming down out there. I see the cows under a tree. They’re smarter than I thought cows could be.”
“Well, we’re stuck in here,” I said, closing the door. It was just me and Jerome now. I was in a room with my sorta-boyfriend for the entire day. Alone. Was Jerome my boyfriend or just a really good friend I happened to kiss back at the army base? I wasn’t sure, but I knew which direction Jerome wanted to take this. I might not be able to give in or worse—I would and I would suffer for it.
A big part of me wanted to, but a bigger part, a scared part, knew the truth. It might cause us both more pain down the road if one of us died. We’d be sticking together through New York until I found my father and until Alana found her grandparents. After that, who knew? Once we found safety, things might change.
Until then, the world was gray and stony.
Jerome flopped down on the bed and reached for the comics.
“So you’re a geek, too,” I said. “I thought you were just a nerd. Not that nerds are a bad thing.” Heck, we were all nerds. Even Tony, the former captain of the football team, was a nerd outside of the playing field.
“Certified geek,” Jerome said. “I have a collection of Marvel comics in my basement at home and I’m starting on the DC ones. Expensive hobby. The prices are really bad at cons.” He faced me and smiled. “I’m sure this kid won’t mind us looking if we don’t leave fingerprints on these. You like art?”
“Yes,” I said, lying down on the bed next to him. Heat rushed to my face as footsteps sounded outside and other doors creaked as people found places to settle. “I used to draw.”
“What kind?” Jerome grabbed a comic in a sleeve with The Hulk on the cover. It had the number O in the upper corner, which made Jerome’s mouth fall open. “Wow. First issue.”
“Doodles, mostly. I’ve been drawing ever since Alana got me that sketchbook you probably see me working in it a lot. It’s back on the bus. I don’t know if I’ll ever see it again.” It was safely hidden away from everyone. Jerome might be able to look at it and interpret something about the way my mind worked, but I wasn’t uncomfortable with the thought of him doing so. He wasn’t going to judge me. I had already told him the worst thing about myself, after all.
“Anything’s cool,” he said, pulling the comic out of the sleeve and geeking out. “This is sacred. Look at this.”
Jerome was happy to explain to me the workings of comic book series and the rarity of finding first issues. Looking at the drawings inside made me yearn for my sketchbook all over again. The Batman ones were pretty cool, full of dark images and a Gothic atmosphere like the ones I had drawn. Jerome and I were like Batman now. We had lost people. The world was a dark, unforgiving place and you had to toughen up to survive it. We paged through the comics together as the light outside got brighter and the sleet intensified outside. At last, after my eyelids drooped and I yawned, Jerome closed the comic and slid it back into its protective sleeve, careful to not bend the corners.
“I think we need to sleep,” he said. “That was fun.” Jerome placed the comic between the two he had pulled it out from. “Don’t want to ruin the shrine,” he said. “If this kid comes back, he’ll never notice.”
“That’s good. Hopefully he can come back.” I wondered who he was and where he could be right now.
Jerome got on the floor and stretched out. “I’ll sleep here,” he said. “Just hand me something soft.”
“What? You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” I scooted over on the bed to make room. What was I doing? Getting close to people was a major hazard right now.
But so were the nightmares. They were always there when I closed my eyes and I was ready to do anything to chase them away. It would just be for tonight, anyway.
He sat up and his jaw fell. “Laney—are you sure?”
“Look, we kissed. I don’t mind you laying up here with me. We’re just going to be sleeping and having nightmares together.”
“So…it was more than a we’re about to die thing.”
I hadn’t thought of his kiss like that. Jerome was lying. He had wanted more than just a quick peck back at the army base. He was covering his pride after I had pulled away from him the first time. Maybe his smarts about how the mind worked were rubbing off on me. I was searching for the whys in everyone now. “Maybe.” I emphasized the word. “We could be about to die but I want to have someone with me.” I had slept alone and away from everyone at every opportun
ity. My body was heavy and exhausted. Just lying next to Jerome wasn’t too close. After all, it wouldn’t be cool to let someone lie on the floor if there was room on the bed.
Jerome was careful not to hit me with his elbow when he laid on his back. “Can we…snuggle?”
I thought about how hurt he would be if I said no. “Sure,” I said. The house was cold. His body heat would help with that. I was already feeling warm, especially in my cheeks. No. It wasn’t because this was awkward or that Jerome was wrapping his arm around me.
Okay. It was awkward, but after a couple of minutes it got more comfortable. I pulled the blanket over us and warmth overspread my body.
“Night, Laney,” Jerome said.
“Night,” I said. “Or day.”
He gave me a light kiss on the cheek, but when I fell asleep in his arms a few minutes later, the nightmares didn't dare come out of the darkness. Instead, I rode a pony through the mountain trails of Colorado, led by both Mom and Dad while the sun shined overhead. I waited for the burn to come, for death to come, but for now it stayed away.
Chapter Four
Sleep was so good for the first time in months that I hated that I was coming out of it.
Even though Jerome was still there when I opened my eyes, arm around me and facing me so close that our faces were inches apart, the near-darkness told me that night was coming and it was almost time to head out into the danger again. We'd be leaving this farmhouse and the animals and the amazing eggs behind, never to see them again.
