by Woods, Karen
The ice was broken and the lads burst out laughing. “So mate, how have you been?” Mark asked.
Harry dipped his head low; this was never going to be easy. How could he tell his boys he wasn’t coping? For the last few nights he’d been on sleeping tablets and something to calm his nerves, he was a walking wreck. “It’s been hard lads I can tell you. I’ve not slept properly for weeks. I just keep thinking it’s all a bad dream and someone is going to wake me up soon and tell me it’s all been a big mistake.”
Mark growled at Jack and his nostrils flared. “We should kick the living daylights out of the bastard. You don’t touch another man’s woman. The guy’s took liberties.” Jack shot Mark a look that could have killed him stone dead. He knew more than anyone that Harry was a loose cannon and didn’t need anyone else winding him up. “She’s living on the Miner’s estate in Moston I’ve heard. It’s the end house next to the shop. Her new guy’s got a BMW X5 parked on the driveway each night I hear.” Mark was filling his mate in and he didn’t care what Jack thought. They were brothers- in- arms and they should stick together when the chips were down, he was telling him everything he knew. With every sentence Mark told Harry you could see him slipping back into the dark hole where he’d been for the last few weeks. Jack had heard enough and told his mate to button it. Harry was glad in a way, he couldn’t take anymore. All he wanted to do now was to get his shoes on and front the guy who’d stolen his missus away from him. Jack changed the conversation and spoke about general events – football, telly. Harry was in a world of his own and he wasn’t listening to a word they said. The seed was planted in his head now and he was already contemplating going round to see Jenny’s new lover. The men sat drinking and talking and by the end of the night they thought Harry was back to his normal self. He played the part well, but his mind was working overtime. He wanted revenge and he wanted it now.
Harry watched his mates stagger down the garden path. Once they were out of sight he sprinted up the stairs and searched for his trainers. This was it, the day he’d been waiting for. He was going to knock ten-tons of shit out of Jenny’s new man and show her what he was made of. Surely then when she’d seen he was willing to fight for her she would come back home where she belonged with him.
It was a bright night as Harry sneaked along the quiet path near Jenny’s new house. Even though he’d necked five cans of Stella he was still sober and alert. A cat scarpered past him and his heart went into his mouth, he was so jumpy. Looking at the house he shook his head knowing his kids were inside there with Jenny and her new fella. Red mist appeared in front of his eyes and before he knew it he’d launched a brick right through the BMW’s window. “Come out you no good bastard,” he screamed at the top of his lungs. “Come on you wanker. Did you think I was going to sit back and let you just take my family? Not a fucking chance mate. Get your arse out here and let’s have it. Come on, a one-on-one, me and you. And,” he paused. “Whoever wins get’s to keep Jenny.”
A face appeared at the top window, it was his ex girlfriend looking horrified. Opening the bedroom window she yelled at the top of her voice. “Harry, are you right in the head. I’m phoning the police.”
“Do what you want Jenny. I’m not moving from here until that wanker comes down here and faces me. Stop protecting him; send the coward out to fight his own battles instead of him hiding behind you.”
The other bedroom window opened and Morgan was shouting in a distressed voice. “Dad, just go home will you. Please go home.”
Jenny left the window open and the curtain was blowing out from it. You could see the light going on in Morgan’s bedroom and Jenny was now by her side. She popped her head out of the window again, she was fuming. “Look at what you’re doing to her Harry. Just go home.”
Harry marched up and down the garden path and set about Colin’s car, he was kicking and booting it. “It’s all your own doing Jenny. You’re the one who’s fucking with the kid’s heads not me. You broke our family up. You and your new lover. Go on, tell your daughter that.” The sound of sirens blaring in the distance filled the night air. Harry was like a man possessed, his eyes looked menacing. As the police cars pulled up he ran at them with open arms. “It’s her you want to arrest not me mate. She’s wrecked our family the dirty slag. Her and her new man, that’s who you should be arresting. I’ve given the bitch the best years of my life and this is how she’s treated me. I’ve not seen my kids for weeks, help me please.”
The officer led Harry away from the house by the arm. He knew he was no threat to them he was just angry. In a low voice the officer tried to calm him down. “It’s not the way to deal with it pal. You just can’t come around here and cause mayhem. You have to do things properly, you need a solicitor.”
Harry was in a panic and his words were coming out at speed. “She just upped and left me. How can I ever get over that? The slapper was shagging someone else. I loved her with all my heart and she just tossed me aside like an old coat. She wants arresting too, go on, go and arrest her.” The policeman got Harry in the back of the police car and got him away from his ex- girlfriend’s house. They were heading towards Grey Mare police station. Harry was going to be charged with the offences he’d committed. It was going to be a long night.
CHAPTER SIX
Grace Willis sat at the pine kitchen table twiddling her thumbs. She was worried to death about her appointment with her therapist. Life after Martin was hard, so hard, that some days she didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. Grace had died inside and her whole life had changed, she was alone and scared of the days left in front of her. Her face was drawn and her cheekbones were sunk deep into her cheeks, she looked a pill away from a breakdown. Today was her first appointment with her new therapist. The doctor had more or less told her that it was her last hope of ever getting better, of ever feeling normal again. After six months of taking anti-depressants and sleeping tablets there was nothing left that the doctor could do for her, she was a lost cause. Grace chugged hard on her cigarette and opened her handbag wide so she could see inside. Inside the black leather bag were photographs of her ex- husband Martin. The therapist had asked her to bring them along today to their first appointment. Her eyes drawn to the photo, Grace shook her head and closed the bag quickly. She couldn’t even look at her ex-husband, even saying his name brought tears to her eyes. The hate she felt for him was there for everyone to see.
Martin had ruined her life; she could never forgive him for what he’d done, never. Her husband had never given up trying to win his wife back even though these days he’d backed off a little. He still rang her late into the night and every now and then he would write her a letter begging for her forgiveness. She never read them though; she just threw them into the bin as if they were riddled with disease. The letterbox rattled. Grace stood to her feet and blew a laboured breath; she looked weak as she trudged through the hallway, a quick glimpse into the mirror and she opened the door. Turning the handle slowly she prepared herself to meet her friend Winnie, she could see her body shape through the glass panel on the door. “Come on you, you better move your bony arse. Your appointment is in an hour, get a bloody move on slug!”
Grace walked back into the kitchen, her spirits were low. Staring at the walls she spoke in a low voice. “I don’t want to go. I can’t be arsed with all that shit to tell you the truth.”
Winnie grabbed her arm and growled at her. “Oh, you are going lady. Don’t be coming that with me. We’ve spoke about this for days now and you’re going. If this woman can help you get over that bastard Martin then you’re a fool if you don’t attend. Go and get some help, because you need it you know, you’re doing my head in, crying all the bastard time.”
Grace snapped, she hated hearing the truth. “Fuck off Winnie, how’s anyone going to mend my heart. What, does she have a repair kit with extra strong glue in it, because that’s what she’ll need you know. A fucking bucket full in fact?”
Winnie sat down at the table,
she was ready for action. “Why are you always so negative about stuff? You think you know it all Grace Willlis. Just go to the appointment and see what it’s about. I’ve told you I will come with you and wait while you go in. Just give it a go.”
Grace studied her friend’s face for a few seconds, she could see she was annoyed, her nostrils were flaring. Grace stuck to her guns, and defended herself, she hated being wrong. “It will just be like it’s all happening again. I’ll have to tell her from scratch exactly what happened, every single seedy fucking detail. I don’t think my head can carry all that stress. And you should support my decision not to go, I thought we were friends?”
“Oh, there you go again. I am your best friend yes, and I have to tell you that you need some bleeding help, girl. You’ve lost your mojo, and I need you to get it back. Fuck me, you’re not dead yet. You could even find someone new and start over again, stop being all doom and gloom and get back in the game,” Winnie snapped.
“Me, find someone new? Are you having a laugh or what? I’m a coffin dodger now, perhaps if this had happened ten years ago I might have stood a chance. I’m ready for the knackers yard now,” Grace hissed.
There was silence, you could have heard a pin drop, Winnie was thinking. “Just get your coat on and go to the appointment. If you don’t like it, then fuck it off. At least you will have tried. Come on give it a go, I’m coming with you remember.”
Winnie stood up and pushed Grace into the hallway to get her coat on. “I’ll go just this once and that’s it Winnie. I swear, if I come back worse than when I went, then it’s your fault.”
Winnie chuckled and shouted behind her. “There’s no way you could ever be worse love. You’re at rock bottom now it can only get better.” There was no reply from Grace; she knew in her heart her best friend was right. Winnie punched a clenched fist into the air; she’d persuaded her friend to go to see the heartbreak therapist.
The two women stood outside the old house. The rain was hammering down on them and they were soaking wet. The umbrella was spinning about in the wind and Winnie was fighting with it trying to hold it over their heads. Grace just stood gawping at the house in front of her; she was white and looked like she’d seen a ghost. “Come on, let’s get inside I’m perished stood here,” Winnie piped up at last.
Grace turned quickly and dipped her head low. “No love, I’m going home. My arse has fallen out; seriously, just get me back home, this isn’t for me.”
Winnie marched to her side, she was fuming. Standing with her hands fixed firmly on her hips she let rip. “Move your wrinkled arse up that path now before I drag you down it myself. Do you think I’ve come all this way for nothing?”
Grace was gobsmacked. The corners of her mouth started to rise; she was amused by her friend’s outburst. “I’ll have you know my arse it still quite perky for its age. It’s your arse that’s collapsed not mine.”
Winnie chuckled and held her head back giggling, she’d done what she set out to do. “See, that’s the woman I miss. The joker, the funny quick-witted one. I want her back. Just go inside and see what you think. Do it for me.”
Grace blew a breath and walked inside the garden. Turning her head back to Winnie she spoke. “Right, one session and that’s it. I swear to you, if I come out of here worse than I went in, then you’re going to be the one picking up the pieces. Do you hear me?”
Winnie wrapped her loving arms around her friend’s neck and whispered into her ear. “Go on love, go inside. I’ll wait in the reception for you.” The women joked with each other before they knocked on the door; they looked like two young schoolgirls. Grace felt anxious and she was still debating turning around and leaving, she was hovering about. The door opened quickly once they knocked on it, it was too late for Grace to leave. Marcy Jordan stood there and smiled at them both. “Hello ladies, is one of you here to see me, Grace Willis?”
Winnie moved forward and spoke with a confident voice. “It’s not me who needs your help, it’s my friend here.” With a gentle push she moved Grace nearer to the door.
Marcy held her hand out and shook her hand. “Come inside and I will tell you a bit about what I do. I’m just waiting for my last client to turn up then we’ll get cracking.”
Grace was horrified and she looked like she was going to pass out, her palms were hot and sweaty. “You mean to tell me there are going to be more people listening to my problems today?”
Marcy nodded her head slowly. “Yes, it’s a group session.”
Grace turned, she was all set to leave. “Oh, I’m sorry I can’t do this. This is my problem and I don’t want the world and his wife knowing about it, so sorry but I’m going back home love.”
Marcy knew she would have to act quickly. “Grace, just stop for one second and hear me out. Today is the first day of you getting better. Hearing from other people who are going through the same thing will help you understand that you’re not alone. Please don’t go. Just give it a chance.”
Winnie was bouncing about at the side of them, she was fuming. “Grace, just listen to her will you? For crying out loud we have been through this how many times today. Just go inside and see what it’s all about. Like I said to you before, if you don’t like it, don’t come again.”
Winnie winked at Marcy and stood waiting for an answer. Grace paced the floor and ran her fingers through her dark hair. “I’m doing this for you Winnie. I swear, you owe me big time.” Grace’s friend kept her mouth shut and dropped her eyes to the floor, her job was done.
All three of them walked further inside the house. Winnie sat in the reception area and she picked up a glossy magazine from the table. “I’ll wait here for you Grace. Don’t you worry about me, I’ll be fine.” Another lady now joined them and smiled at Winnie. “Would you like a tea or a coffee?”
Rubbing her hands together Winnie giggled. “That would be smashing my dear. And, if you have any biscuits, that would be great too. I’ve not had a bite to eat all morning.” The receptionist smiled and left the room. Grace and Marcy were gone.
Grace was out of her depth, you could see it in her eyes, she didn’t feel comfortable. Marcy led her into a room at the side of the reception area. Once she was inside she was told where to sit. A middle aged man sat in the room with her and he looked like he’d been through the wars. The room had four sofas in it and the decor was calming, a bit dated, but nice. Marcy left the room as Grace sat down. Not a word was spoken from the other client and Grace was still debating leaving. Her eyes scanned the room and she spotted tissues on the small table at the side of them with a pile of papers and pens. Slowly she met the eyes of the man sat near her. “I’m shitting myself today, I don’t know about you. Have you been here for long?” The man just smiled but he didn’t reply. It was going to be a long day.
Marcy returned to the room with a young lady by her side. The girl could only have been in her early twenties. Her long blonde hair was tied back from her face, and she was dressed casually. Marcy took a deep breath and rubbed at her arms, she always did that when she was out of her comfort zone, it was second nature to her. “Right, shall we start our session?” There were a few nods inside the room but nobody spoke a word. Marcy began with an ice-breaker exercise. It was meant to help people relax or so the text book said. “You are all here probably thinking what does she know about what I’m going through?” Still not a word was spoken. “Well, I’m going to tell you a bit about myself and why I’m doing what I’m doing. These sessions are here to help you and I know with the support I can give you, gradually you’ll be able to move on.”
The woman who’d just come into the room with Marcy gave a sarcastic laugh and sat forward in her seat. “Move on, are you having a laugh or what. Do you fully understand what I’ve been through? This is never going to work, I mean, what gives you the qualifications to advise me. You know fuck all about my life.”
Marcy’s back was up and she was still trying to be professional but she was losing control. “Amanda, calm do
wn will you. Today is our first day, we are a long way off yet from moving on, but I can assure you I do have the qualifications I need, plus I have had my own personal experience of what each of you are going through.”
Grace could see the therapist was struggling and jumped into the conversation. “Just let’s see what she can do for us first. Nobody was more sceptical than me about coming today. I see it that we are all in the same boat and we need help otherwise we wouldn’t be here. So let’s just get on with the course and see what happens.”
Marcy was bright red in the face; Grace had saved her bacon for sure. The session began as each client introduced themselves. The first man stood up, he was unshaven and looked a mess. His body odour was putrid and Grace was glad he was sat on the other side of the room. “My names Harry Bailey and I’m not afraid to say that this class is my last hope of ever getting better. My partner Jenny Stokes left me with our two kids and since they’ve gone I’ve not been able to pull myself together.” Marcy smiled gently at him as he sat back down. Harry was thinner than ever now and his hands were constantly shaking, he looked like a recovering alcoholic.
It was Grace’s turn to introduce herself, her lips were dry and she was swallowing hard. As she stood up you could see her legs wobbling. “My name’s Grace Willis and like Harry I’m struggling to move on after the split from my husband.” Grace sat back down and she took her time to make any eye contact with the other clients in the room.
The last lady screwed her face up and stood up slowly. “My name’s Amanda and I’m here because I can’t come to terms with my partner’s death. He was only twenty-five years old.” Amanda chewed on her bottom lip as she slumped back down, she was ready for breaking.
Marcy was just about ready to start the class when the door opened and another man walked inside, he looked flustered. “Oh, I’m sorry I’m late. I missed the bus. Can I still join in or is it too late?” Marcy welcomed him with open arms and told him they had just started the class, she asked him to tell the group who he was and why he was here. The man took his wet beige mackintosh off and threw it to the corner of the room. “Hi everyone firstly let me say I’m sorry for being late. My name is Fredrick and I’m here because my partner is terminally ill and I can’t come to terms with losing him. It’s only a matter of months he’s got left, but I can’t cope with the thought of never seeing Raymond ever again.”
