by Woods, Karen
Amanda ran over to him and grabbed him in a head lock, she was actually laughing. “Stop it now Harry, stop making fun of me. I’m still grieving I’ll have you know.”
Harry broke free from her grip, she was strong for a woman and it wasn’t easy, breathless he fell onto the sofa. “I was only messing about with you. Sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings, but come on, you’re not normal.” Amanda smiled and held a look at him for a lot longer than she should have. Harry was a good looking man and she was fighting with her feelings towards him. As she watched him laughing, her heart skipped a beat, quickly she shook her head and brought herself back into the real world, what was she even thinking? She was a grieving woman.
Harry was ready for action. Once he’d drank his coffee he yanked at her arms, he was restless. “Come on then slug, let’s surf the web for my next wife.”
Amanda chuckled. “Wife... Are you having a laugh or what? I think you need to start with a girlfriend first,” her hand rested on her hip and she was teasing him. “And, to tell you the truth, I think you’ll be lucky to get one of them the way you’re going on.” The banter had begun, these two just bounced of each other, they were getting on like a house on fire, they were so different yet the same, chalk and cheese some would say.
Amanda sat at the computer, her elbows resting on the table, Harry was gawping at her and he found himself studying her facial features, she was a beauty. He snapped out of it quickly. “Hurry up, bleeding hell. It’s so slow your computer you need to buy a new one,” Harry moaned.
“Say’s you, who doesn’t even own one yet,” she giggled with a sour expression.
Harry pulled a chair from the table next to her and watched the screen eagerly. The website appeared and Harry was like a child in a sweet shop, his fingers were pointing at the screen. “She’s mint, how old is she? Hold on, click on her, she’s hot too. I wouldn’t mind parting her tash given the chance, she’s mint.”
Amanda turned her head to face him. She was serious. “Harry you’ve not even read their profiles yet. Don’t you want to know what they’re all about first? They could be like Glenn Close out of that film Fatal Attraction for all you know; you don’t want that now do you?”
Harry was giddy, he wasn’t listening to a word she said. He wanted to look at more women. “Look at the jugs on that one; you don’t get many of them to the pound do you? I tell you what; I wouldn’t mind getting my mouth around them babies I can tell you.” Harry was looking at a picture of a blonde woman who was middle-aged. She was pretty, there was no getting away from that fact, but she looked plastic, everything about her was false. Amanda clicked on her profile and started to read her profile. The woman lived in Chorlton, which wasn’t that far from where Harry lived. She was looking for fun and someone to make her laugh.
Harry was getting excited as Amanda read it to him. “Oh, I’ll show her some fun all right. And, I’m funny too, so I can make her laugh. Send her a message and let’s bring it on.” Amanda hesitated; her fingers hit the key pad slowly. Something was wrong with her, she’d gone quiet. Harry was still on a high and chuckling to himself. “Tell her I’ve got a twelve inch nob and I can go all night long if she wants me too?”
Amanda bolted out from the chair and stood snarling at him. “There you go, you can do it yourself. I’m not your slave. You can do your own dirty work.”
Harry didn’t need to be asked twice; he sat in the chair and started typing with one finger. Amanda trudged back to the sofa and sat watching the back of his head. Pulling her t-shirt over her knees she listened to him talking to himself. “Amanda, come and look at this bird and tell me what you think. I’ll send loads of messages out tonight and see who replies. I’ve got fuck all to lose have I?”
Amanda paused; she was going to say something but stopped at the last minute. Standing to her feet she came and sat at his side again. It was nice to see Harry smiling for a change; he looked so different when he wasn’t upset, kind of dishy, kind of hunky. Eyes concentrating on the screen she looked at the next woman on his hit list. They were good looking women and she smiled at Harry. “I think you’re punching above your weight with these you know. If we were to put you in a pecking order, let’s see,” she howled laughing. “You’re more like a Ford Cortina and these women you’re looking at are more Ferraris.”
Harry’s jaw dropped low, the cheek of this woman. “No way Amanda, that’s well out of order that is. I just need an MOT and a service and I’ll be back to my fighting weight. I’ve just been out of action for a while that’s all.”
She dipped her head, she hadn’t meant to hurt his feeling but she just couldn’t help herself, it was in her personality. If the truth was known she hated that he was moving on and she couldn’t handle it. Speaking in a low voice she held his hand in hers. “I’m joking with you Harry. I’m just a bit jealous that’s all.” Harry was alert, what, was she saying that she fancied him too. Realising what she’d just said she backtracked. “I’m jealous that you’re finding your feet and getting back on the horse, so to speak.”
Harry blew his breath and held a serious look. “This is me trying to be happy Amanda. Inside I’m still hurting but if I don’t try and move on how will I ever know if I can be happy again?” He smirked and his cheeks started to go bright red. “My nob’s been out of action since Jenny left. I swear its dead. It’s like a coiled snake. It doesn’t even get hard anymore. It used to be my pride and joy you know? So, I’ve got to sort that out before I can move on. Come on,” he paused and patted his hand on her lap. “If I can’t have sex, what woman is going to want me if I can’t do the deed?”
Amanda shook her head and pushed his hands from her body. “It’s not all about sex Harry, it’s about the connection of two people. Sex comes later in a relationship, you need to know someone first. Well,” she was embarrassed and turned away from him and swung her hips slowly. “Before you start having sex.”
Harry was confused, he delved deeper. “So are you telling me when you take a woman out on a date, she doesn’t want banging at the end of the night?”
Amanda’s eyes were wide open; this was a lot harder than she first thought. This man didn’t have a clue about what a woman was really looking for. She seemed in a trance, she was thinking hard. “Right, I will be your sample date. We can start from the beginning and I will teach you how to date a woman properly.”
Harry rubbed his hands together and looked directly at her. “What, you want me to have sex with you?”
Amanda was shocked; she punched him playfully in his arm and grabbed his cheeks with her slender fingers. “Listen will you? I’m saying I will be your dating Guru that’s all. I will teach you how to act on a date, because at the moment you’re heading for disaster. A walking car crash in fact.”
Harry liked the sound of this and dug in his pockets for his cigarettes. “So, are we on a date now then?”
Amanda headed back to her seat. “No we’re not. You can come around here tomorrow night and that can be our first date. Do you think I would see someone on a first date dressed like this?”
Harry followed her back to the sofa and blew the grey smoke from his mouth. “So, let me get this right in my head. I’m coming back here tomorrow night for our first date, well, not our first date, my first practice run?”
Amanda rolled her eyes at him. “Derrrrr... Bleeding hell. I can see you’re going to be hard work. Just come back tomorrow night and we’ll take it from there. I want you to act as if you don’t know me and treat me like it’s our first date.”
Harry held a cunning look in his eyes, he was teasing her again. “So, I’ll be sleeping with you at the end of the night then won’t I?”
Amanda threw a cushion over at him, “No you won’t be sleeping with me. You’re not my type anyway.”
Harry felt a movement deep in his groin. Rubbing at his crotch he looked surprised. Something was stirring between his legs. “What is your type then Amanda? Come on; tell me, just out of interest?”
Sat tapping her fingernail on her front teeth she held her head to the side, she licked her lips slowly. “I don’t really have a type so to speak. I don’t even go for looks in a guy. It’s all about, well, it’s friendship to start with then I guess I kind of fall in love.”
Harry looked bewildered. When he’d met Jenny for the first time, it was all about ragging her knickers off and having sex, it was pure lust, none of this getting to know her better. “So how long were you with Paul before you slept with him?”
Amanda’s eyes were wide open; this was personal stuff she wanted to keep to herself. Twiddling her blonde hair she kicked her feet up onto the sofa. “That’s my business Harry; you can’t ask me things like that, it’s private.”
Harry wasn’t giving up, he probed deeper. “Was Paul your first love, or was there someone before him?”
Amanda was beetroot, her chest was rising twice as fast as normal and she was stuttering. “Stop being so bleeding nosey. Why are you so interested in me anyway?”
Harry was taken by surprise; he didn’t even know why he was asking about her love life and he just sat gawping at her with a blank expression. He changed the subject quickly. “I’m going to move back to my own house at the end of the month. I’m not looking forward to that I can tell you. Staring at four walls is the last thing I need at the moment.” Amanda checked her wristwatch; it was late and well past her bedtime. Usually at this time she would sit talking to her deceased partner Paul, but tonight she seemed to have forgotten all about him. Taking the hint, Harry stood up and grabbed his coat from the side. “What time is our date tomorrow? Do I need to bring anything with me?”
Amanda stood up and stretched her arms above her head and yawned. “Just bring yourself. I’ll cook for us. Oh, you can bring a bottle of wine if you want?”
“I can do that,” Harry sniggered. As he got to the front door he smirked. One last tease before he went home. “How many condoms do I need to bring? Or are you going to provide them too?”
A swift kick up his arse let him know the answer. “See you tomorrow,” Amanda said as she closed the door. Harry zipped his coat up and tonight he seemed to have a bounce in his step and a twinkle in his eye. Usually he would have gone around to Jenny’s house and stalked his family from afar, but not tonight, he headed home.
Amanda switched the TV off and went straight to bed. Gazing through the window she lay looking at the moon. It was calming tonight and she was at peace. Rolling on her side she pulled the duvet over her shoulder. “Goodnight Paul,” she whispered as she closed her eyes.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Grace opened her eyes and listened to the noise outside her bedroom door. Jumping to her feet she ran to the door with a frenzied look on her face and dragged the door open. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Martin was stood there bold as brass with a wooden tray in his hands and a smirk on his face. “I just thought I would make you some breakfast princess. Get back into bed and I’ll bring it to you.”
Grace snarled at him and barged passed him to go to the bathroom. This man was off his head. If he thought for one minute she was eating anything he’d made her, he could think again. “Shove your breakfast up your arse. What, do you think it’s all rosy in the garden just because you’ve decided to make me a few pieces of toast,” she turned her head and rammed her fingers in the air at him. “I want you out of this house, me and you are over. Get it into your thick head once and for all. Go back to your new woman because I don’t want you within an inch of me. You make my blood boil. Do you hear me? Fuck off back to the gutter you crawled out of.”
Martin looked shocked. He knew Grace had a temper but this was so out of character for her, she was like a different woman. His voice remained calm and low. “I’m not going anywhere my dear. Till death do us part I said, and that’s what I meant.”
Grace pulled the bathroom door back open and stood snarling at him, she was bright red and small beads of sweat were forming on her forehead. “Did you also declare you were going to be faithful to me when we stood in the church taking our vows, because,” she placed her hand on her hips and let out a laboured breath. “That means fuck all now does it?” Martin backed off, she was right and he knew he was fighting a losing battle. “Yeah, I thought that would shut you up! Do yourself a favour and fuck off before you end up leaving here in a body bag.” Martin crept down the stairs and he kept twisting his head back making sure his wife wasn’t following him. He didn’t trust her one little bit; she was like a ninja waiting to attack him.
Grace stood looking in the bathroom mirror. Leaning over she splashed cold water onto her face. Patting it dry with a fluffy white bath towel at the side of her she sighed and started to talk to herself. “Right, you want war do you Martin? Let’s see who’s laughing when I’ve finished with you.” She held a cunning look in her eyes; Grace smirked and went back into her bedroom to get ready.
Grace walked into the front room. She was confident and stood tall. Martin was sat in the armchair reading his newspaper. The cheek of this man! He was going on as if nothing had happened. Walking near him she could feel his fear as she watched the newspaper shake in his hands, he was twitchy. He had every right to be afraid too, because she could have struck a lethal blow at anytime. “So, this is it then. You’re not going to leave?”
Martin was sheepish and his voice was croaky as he answered her. “Grace, I still love you. I made a mistake. Please, just put this in the past and we can be happy again.”
Grace dragged a cigarette from her packet and sat facing him. “What do you mean be happy again?” She sighed and moved her fringe out of her eyes. “I’ve not been happy with you for a long time Martin. I guess I was just in a rut and plodded on. In a way, you’ve done me a favour. You’ve made me see there is more to life than just being your wife. I have a better life now you know.”
Martin chuckled and placed the newspaper on his lap. He leant forward and looked at her with pleading eyes. “Your life is with me, not some dick-head guy you’ve just met.”
Grace chugged hard on her fag, there was no way he was getting the better of her, she wanted to hurt him just like he’d hurt her. “Danny is not just some guy. He’s twice the man you will ever be. He treats me like a lady, not like a bag of shit.”
That was it, she’d hit a nerve, and watched her ex-husband crumble into a thousand pieces as she spoke of the new man in her life. “Oh, so your fella has a name now does he?”
Grace stood and leant in towards him, it was time for the kill. She licked her lips slowly and prepared herself to deliver the line that would knock the smile right from his face. “He’s a brilliant lover too. Not a jerk and a squirt like you used to be. He’s a real man.”
Martin went white and his fists curled into two balls, he retaliated. “What, and you think Monica wasn’t a better lover than you? Let me tell you some home truths too ay.” Martin was livid and the peacemaker he tried to make out to be was gone, the beast had returned. “She said I was the best lover she’d ever had,” he held a cocky smile and went nose to nose with his wife. He was loving every minute of his wife’s downfall. “She didn’t just lie there staring into space either, she was a real woman. Sexy too, you know.”
Grace reached for a brass ornament off the table at the side of her lunging it at his head. “Trust me Martin, you’re no stallion in the bedroom. You’re more like a fucking donkey. Monica was probably just after your money. What, did you tell her you was loaded or something?”
Martin ducked as the brass candlestick just missed his head; this was war now. “She didn’t want my money Grace, she wanted me. Yes, someone else actually found me attractive. And do you know what?” Grace was looking around the room for another missile to launch at him. “I loved every minute of it.”
Grace pounced on him and sank her fingernails deep into his eyes, she was breathless. “Get out of this house Martin; I swear if you don’t I’ll do you in myself.”
Flinging her fr
om his body he jumped to his feet. Martin was ready for hitting her; you could see the evil look in his eyes. The backdoor opened suddenly and in walked Winnie oblivious to it all. “Bang the kettle on Grace, I’m spitting feathers here.” Her eyes quickly clocked the scratches around Martin’s eyes; she held her hand up over her mouth. Winnie paused and didn’t know what to do.
Martin left the room in a hurry, he was shouting behind him. “It’s far from over this Grace. You want war; I’ll give you fucking war my dear. Remember ‘until death do us part.”
Winnie ran to Grace’s side and draped her arms around her shoulders. Grace was struggling for breath. She pointed her finger towards the tap in the kitchen. “Get me a drink please Winnie, I’m choking here.” Winnie got her friend a cup of water. Grace swigged large mouthfuls; you could hear her gulping it. Wiping the side of her mouth with her hand she spoke to Winnie. “I need that bastard out of here as soon as possible. He’s making me ill. I swear Winnie, you need to help me before I stab the cunt to death.”
The women sat down and Grace’s chest was rising frantically. Winnie rolled her eyes and kept her voice low. “You need to seek legal advice. I mean, what other choice have you got. You might have to sell the house if you want him out of your life forever, because looking at him now; he’s going nowhere is he?”
Grace knew Winnie was right and sat twiddling her thumbs together. “I know you’re right love. I’m going to make an appointment today.” Her nostrils flared as she tapped her fingers on the table. “I’m going to bring Danny here and let him sleep in my bed with me. Let’s see who’s laughing then?”
