Too much, I fear. I swallowed, then said, “It is nothing. Only — only my stepmother and I do not precisely see eye to eye on things. Of course I have said nothing to her of what has passed between the two of us, but I fear she has her suspicions. She wants everything for her own daughters, and as little as possible for me, and so she can be…difficult.”
Torric took a grim swallow of wine. “Difficult, you say? I can teach her true difficulty, if she is causing you any sorrow.”
His tone and expression told me he would be all too happy to intercede on my behalf, but of course I could not allow such a thing. “Oh, no, Torric, there is no need for that. After tomorrow night it will not matter, for we will have announced our engagement, and she will realize that I will soon be free of her control.”
“I do not like it,” he said flatly.
“I must confess that I do not like it much, either, but if I can endure her for another twenty-four hours or so, then surely it is not asking too much that you do the same?”
For a brief span of time he said nothing, and I worried that he would attempt to press the issue. Then something in his visage seemed to relax, and he gestured to the neglected goblet in my hand. “As you wish, my love. But drink with me — you have a look about you that says you are in need of some wine.”
“That much is true,” I confessed, and allowed myself a sip. I had had very little to eat that afternoon, what with all the hubbub in the household getting my stepsisters ready, and so I knew I could not have too much, or it would surely upset my head.
Torric was silent, watching me. I feared he would comment on my less than healthy swallow of wine, but he did not. Instead he inquired, his tone casual although his expression was not, “And which ones are your stepsisters? Have I paid any particular notice to them?”
“No, you have not — much to their chagrin.” I had to quell a smile. Perhaps it was cruel of me, but some part of my soul was very glad that Torric had taken no notice of them at all. It was the only victory I had had over them. “Their names are Jenaris and Shelynne. Jenaris is rather, well…rounded, and — ”
“Fat, you mean,” Torric said with a grin.
“I do not mean fat. She is rather plump, however, and Shelynne has an unfortunate tendency to squint, as her eyesight is not very good.”
That revelation prompted a chuckle from Torric. I raised an inquiring eyebrow at him, and he explained, “I do recall one girl who was always peering at me with the most peculiar expression. I thought perhaps she was touched in the head, and so kept my distance, but now I realize it was only extreme near-sightedness. That explains much.”
“At any rate, my stepmother is perhaps not the most impartial judge of their charms — ”
“I can see why.”
“ — and so she is not pleased when my stepsisters come home with tales of some red-haired girl who has charmed the Emperor. Luckily, they have not clearly seen me with you, and so there is always the possibility that it is some other young woman with red hair, and not me, but even so — ”
“I understand.” A certain glint entered his dark eyes, one that I did not entirely comprehend but which somehow made a flush rise to my cheeks. “Are you not glad that I am being so circumspect?” He waved a hand to indicate the hidden chamber where we now stood.
“‘Circumspect’ probably would have involved trying to stay away from one another until tomorrow night, but I suppose this will have to do,” I said primly.
“Oh, come, Ashara, are you not glad you are here with me? Could you really have waited until tomorrow night for this?”
And before I could even think of a reply, he had set down his goblet and plucked mine from my hand, and pulled me into his arms. Oh, how strong he felt, how impossibly tall and solid and real! Of course I did not protest, but let him touch his mouth to mine, let his tongue caress my lips before moving to taste me even more fully.
A searing wave of heat moved through my body, seeming to throb through my veins, warming me everywhere — yes, even there, at the very center of my womanhood. I could not protest, did not even wish to. This was what I wanted, the feel and scent and taste of him, his hands moving over my body, his mouth moving down my neck to elicit a gasp from me even as a delicious shiver rocked me to my core.
Oh, what I wanton I was! For I knew in that moment I wanted all of him, wanted him in the same way Mari must have wanted Janks. For a second I had a flash of memory, of her legs wrapped around him, of his body on top of hers, and I wanted Torric to do that to me, to push me down onto his bed and fill the emptiness inside me. If he had told me then and there that the secret passageway went farther, led all the way to his own chambers, I would have gone with him willingly. Not just willingly — eagerly.
But sanity took hold, and after a moment I pulled away from Torric. Not abruptly, but gently, so I could look up at him and smile. His own face was flushed, and I saw the need in his eyes…but then he nodded, as if reminding himself that I was a lady, and his affianced bride, and that to push things much further would not be wise.
“Truly your blood runs hot, Ashara,” he said in ragged tones, and then reached up to remove the golden circlet that contained his heavy dark hair so he might push it back off his forehead, as if he was in need of cooling.
I well understood how he felt, for though the neckline of my gown was fairly low, as befitted an evening dress, it still seemed suddenly stifling in the small chamber. “Yours as well, Your Majesty.”
He sent me a slanted look at the honorific, and then smiled and shook his head. “It is perhaps better that we stop there, for I have no intention of compromising you.”
Was it wrong that I felt a stab of disappointment at his words? In that moment I thought I rather wanted to be compromised. Ah, no, that would not be wise at all. I reached for my goblet and took a very unladylike gulp. “Then I hope it will be a very short engagement.”
“Extremely short,” he said at once. “Days. Hours, if I have anything to say about it.”
I stifled a laugh and went to him, this time slipping my arm around his waist so I might be close, although I did not attempt to initiate another kiss. That was far too dangerous. “I rather think your seneschal might have a word or two to say about that. He does seem to be quite concerned with following the forms.”
“Bother that.” Torric pulled me closer against him, and placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head.
Something about the touch of his lips against my hair sent another thrill through me, although this wasn’t quite desire. Perhaps it was just the tenderness of the gesture. After all, I had had very little tenderness in my life.
“If I could, I would have a priest marry us five minutes after we make the announcement at the ball,” he added, and something in the fierce, quiet tone of his voice told me he really would do exactly that, if allowed.
Odd how less than a week ago I would have been sure that the Emperor of Sirlende could order everything exactly as he willed. Now, after knowing Torric for only a few short days, I knew that things did not precisely work that way.
“Ah, well,” I said, making sure I did not sound overly concerned, “you would not want to deprive me of the joy of having a wedding gown designed, would you? Although I’m sure once you see my ball gown you will think I couldn’t possibly have anything finer made.”
This was, of course, another prevarication. Since I had had so little time to speak with my aunt, I really did not know what she had planned. However, judging by what she had managed to conjure for me so far this week, I had no doubt that my gown for the ball would turn out to be something truly magnificent.
He shook his head, and spun me to face him. His eyes, framed in those amazing thick lashes, seemed to bore into me. “My love, trust me when I say I am not particularly looking at your gowns. I am looking at you.”
Again heat rose to my cheeks, but I did not look away from that intent dark stare. “Well, if we are making confessions here, I have to admit that if someone asked me
what you had worn any particular day this week, I am not sure I could have answered. I spent all my attention on your face.”
“Only my face?” he inquired, clearly amused.
“That, and other things,” I replied, and let my gaze wander from the perfect symmetry of his face to the broad, strong shoulders and chest.
“And here I thought you were so innocent and pure?”
“I am, in body,” I said frankly. “In mind, however…”
“Ah, I have had a taste of that. In fact, I think I am sufficiently recovered to try another.”
Once more he took me in his arms, and I tasted the wine on his tongue and breathed in the warm, woodsy scent of his hair, and felt my body flare with heat again. And so we stayed for a long while, until we broke apart, gasping, and Torric murmured that he must return, for he had already been away too long.
I wondered how I might steal away back into the chamber where the musicale was being held, but he interrupted that thought, saying, “If you do not mind, my love, I think it would be more discreet for you to go directly to your carriage. If Gabrinne did her work sufficiently, then I doubt anyone is looking for you, and it would be safer if you did not try to sneak back in the way you got out.”
That seemed sensible enough, although I wished I would not have to miss the reception. However, it would give Torric another opportunity to lavish his attention on some other young woman — Brinda Aldrenne, most likely and most unfortunately — and therefore deflect any inquiries away from me.
I nodded, and he continued, “I will lead you farther down the passageway. It comes out into the courtyard, and the footmen can then call for your carriage.”
“Of course, Torric.”
We kissed again, and then he took me by the hand and let me out into the dimly lit corridor, down past several narrow passages that broke off from the main one. I wanted to ask why these secret hallways were here at all, but we moved so quickly that I did not have the opportunity. Quite soon, we emerged into the damp, cool evening air — or rather, I did. Torric hung back so he might not be seen, and pressed his lips to my hand one last time before disappearing inside.
His absence felt like a hole in my heart, but I told myself not to be silly, that I would be seeing him tomorrow night, and then we would never be separated again.
The footman blinked in confusion as I approached him and inquired for my carriage. I was sure the poor man must have thought I materialized out of nowhere. Even so, he hurried off to do my bidding, and in a very brief amount of time my own driver was helping me up into the coach.
We rattled off into the darkness, and I lay my head against the cushions and shut my eyes, thinking of Torric’s mouth on mine, his arms around me. And that was enough for now, because this was the last time we would have to say goodbye.
After the ball tomorrow, all of Sirlende would know I was to be their Empress.
Chapter 12
Torric
Oh, it was hard to let her go, to watch her square her shoulders and walk away from me. The expression on her face told me all I needed to know. She had no more wish for this parting than I did.
But I had learned to master the travails of hard duty, even though I cared little for them. This would be our last separation. After we announced our engagement, I would make sure that Ashara was installed in an apartment here in the palace until our wedding day. Her recent revelations were enough to convince me that she should spend no more days under her stepmother’s roof.
I felt my features harden into a mask of cold anger, thinking of the callous way that shrew had apparently treated the woman I loved. Ashara was perfection; she should not have to suffer a single harsh word, let alone see her unworthy stepsisters favored over her. I wished I could show this stepmother exactly what I thought of her behavior, but as Ashara wished me to let it go, I would…if reluctantly.
One of the branches from the hidden passageway emerged in a storeroom, and that was where I had already planned to come out, deeming it the least likely place for anyone to see me, appearing as I would from a doorway hidden behind a stack of unused furniture and outdated paintings. I slipped out and closed the door behind me, then brushed some dust from my velvet doublet. Blane had set two of his guards to await me in the corridor outside, for of course he would not allow me to return unescorted to the chamber where the musicale was being held.
If those two men thought there was anything strange about the Emperor of Sirlende exiting an unused storeroom while hundreds of prospective brides waited for him on the other side of the palace, their impassive faces did not reveal such musings. No real surprise; after all, it was not their place to judge my doings.
I set a brisk pace as I returned to the audience chamber and my expectant guests. Everyone turned to face me as I entered the room, and the musicians faltered briefly but then found their rhythm once again. Face composed in pleasant lines, I took my seat once again next to Brinda Aldrenne, whose sly eyes were full of questions she did not quite dare to ask.
Mercifully, the music did not last too much longer — not that I do not enjoy music, but if the musicians were ending their set, it meant we were that much closer to the conclusion of the evening, and therefore that much closer to tomorrow. The ball. Ashara.
My loins tightened as I recalled the feel of her mouth, her sweet scent, the taste of wine on those soft, full lips. I was not used to denying myself, but I had to stop her — stop us, for if we had pressed on, I would have abandoned all caution and slipped away with her to my bedchamber.
No, I could not think of that. Soon enough she would be my wife, would be mine in every way possible, but until then I had a role to play.
The musicians stood, and everyone clapped dutifully, but I could tell the mind of every young woman there was occupied far more with the reception that was about to follow, their penultimate chance to catch my eye. I must confess that I did feel a pang of guilt then, for most of them were honorable enough, here because they hoped to advance their family’s name, and I knew I was deceiving them. Then again, they had all gone into this knowing that only one woman could be my wife. Was there anything so terribly wrong about realizing who that woman was before the five days ended?
I guessed that the women around me would think there might be, but I could do little about that now.
“…some air, Your Majesty?”
“I beg your pardon?” I inquired, realizing that Brinda Aldrenne had been speaking to me and that I hadn’t heard half of what she’d said.
Those narrow dark eyes of hers narrowed further. “I was just saying that they were opening the doors to the courtyard, and asking if you wanted some air?”
A transparent ploy. While I had to give her some credit for attempting to keep me to herself, I knew I would never allow myself to be alone with her.
“Ah, I think it better that I take a turn around the reception chamber. But you are certainly welcome to accompany me.”
Her expression, which had begun to cloud over, suddenly cleared, and a triumphant little smile played about her mouth. Now, this was one young woman I would feel no guilt over disappointing.
The audience chamber had an adjoining room that was sometimes used when the crowds expected were deemed to be of greater than average size. Now the servants were swinging open the large doors that connected the two spaces, and I saw in the chamber beyond tables heaped with sweets and the sort of small savory dishes so popular for evening functions, along with many bottles of wine that gleamed like dark jewels amongst the autumn leaves and warm-toned flowers.
Already people were flowing into that room, their hunger enhanced by having to sit and listen to music quietly for the greater part of two hours. As I rose from my seat, Brinda got up as well. She seemed determined to stick by my side like a cocklebur, and I made myself repress an exasperated sigh.
We had just entered the reception hall when two more young women approached us — or rather, they seemed acquainted with the Aldrenne girl, and sidled up to h
er in an obvious attempt to get closer to me. I recognized them at once, for they were a perfect fit to Ashara’s description of them: one overly plump, the bodice of her pale green gown obviously more fortified than a castle’s walls in a vain attempt to contain her generous bosom and rounded stomach, the other one passably pretty, but with an odd strained look to her dark eyes that belied their myopic tendencies.
The stepsisters.
I believe I managed to smile, and if the expression was somewhat strained around the edges, I do not think they noticed, for they were too busy curtseying and saying, “Good evening, Your Majesty.”
“Lady Jenaris and Lady Shelynne Millende, Your Majesty,” Brinda told me. Her tone seemed to indicate that she did not mind making the introduction, for she saw neither of them as a threat.
No, it is the sister who is not here who is the true threat…
“Ladies,” I said, and bowed. How I wished I could say something cutting to them, a few carefully chosen words to let them know that I did not approve of them or their stepmother. But I had promised Ashara, and I did not make promises lightly.
“And what did you think of the music, Your Majesty?” inquired Shelynne, squinting as she attempted to focus on my face.
“I thought it was most excellent, my lady. And you?”
“Oh, it was quite the thing. Jenaris and I both adore music, although we have little opportunity to hear it. We — ” And she broke off, for her sister had quite obviously jabbed her in the ribs to prevent her from saying anything else.
“What she means, Your Majesty,” Jenaris cut in, “is that while we have music all the time, at dinner, or when we have our own dances at our house, we do not have quite so many musicians. So it was a treat to hear six of them playing at once.”
At this revelation Brinda rolled her eyes, clearly not fooled by this pretense to a level of wealth I was sure they did not have. Yes, their mother had married a baronet who had passed away and left behind some wealth — Ashara’s jewels were a testament to that if nothing else, although I supposed they could have been heirlooms of her own mother — but from what I had heard, most households of their rank did not employ regular musicians, but only hired them in for special occasions.
Ashes of Roses (Tales of the Latter Kingdoms Book 4) Page 16
