She let go of my arm. “You should have gone long before this, miss. Just don’t go hungry.” And she followed me into the kitchen, seized two of the fresh-baked loaves from the counter, and shoved them into my satchel. “Now, off with you! I will say I never saw you, if anyone asks.”
“Thank you, Claris,” I told her. There was so much more I wanted to say, so many thanks I wanted to give her for all her little stolen kindnesses over the years, but I knew there was not time enough for that.
So I ran again, this time down the back stairs and out into the courtyard, past the stables, and through the gate where I had stolen away every day so far this week. Only this time I wore no magical finery, and I looked forward to nothing more than a life on the run.
Oh, gods, Torric, I thought then. I am so sorry. I did not deceive you, not truly. My love for you was real, even if nothing else was.
* * *
Sometime later I found a disreputable little inn where they grudgingly agreed to take a single silver spoon in exchange for a night’s stay. Even I knew that was an extortionate price, but I did not have the will to argue with them, not when they probably guessed the spoon was stolen and they could have turned me in to the city guard had they so wished. Most likely they deemed it not worth the trouble. In any event, I made my way without further incident to a cramped little room on the third floor, huddled up on the thin mattress, which was not much better than my pallet back in the kitchen at home, and made myself go to sleep.
I would like to say that I felt better when I awoke. Unfortunately, I did not. There seemed to be little for me to do except put on my stolen clothing — at least I had taken one of Shelynne’s plainest gowns, a dress she only wore while at home, when not expecting company — and eat some bread, and decide what I should do next.
Iselfex was a very great city, and I could expect to hide there more or less safely. However, I knew I would have to do something to hide my hair, for its color was far too distinctive, and would be the one thing about my appearance that was sure to give me away. So after I washed my face and hands in the dingy water in the basin provided for me, I braided my hair tightly and coiled it around my head, then pulled my kerchief over that, making sure it was set far enough forward that none of the fine coppery strands around my forehead could be seen.
From the inn I first went to a silversmith’s, and concocted a story of how my parents had passed away and my relations had turned me out in the street, giving me nothing but some silver knives and spoons as my inheritance. Whether he believed this story or not, I could not tell, although my voice did have a fairly convincing quaver to it. But at least he did not cheat me like the people at the inn, and gave me a fair enough price for the pieces, enough ready coin that I knew I would not immediately starve, or find myself sleeping in the street.
I inquired of him as to the nearest apothecary, saying I needed a tincture of herbs to calm my nerves, and he directed me to a shop only a few doors down. While it was true that I could use some calming, that was not my reason for seeking out an apothecary. Several years ago my stepmother had begun to show streaks of iron-grey in her heavy dark hair, and had immediately begun to apply a dye an apothecary gave her. Ever since then her hair had been as raven-black as it was in her younger days, although she did have to use the concoction frequently, since the color began to wear away after several weeks.
It seemed the best way to disguise myself, as it was not the fashion for women to wear kerchiefs on their heads, save when performing menial tasks around the house. I purchased the dye, saying it was for my mother, and hurried out. From there I went back to the inn, paid some of my precious coin for several more basins of water, and effected my transformation, making sure to dye my eyebrows as well so they would not give me away. Luckily my eyelashes had always been much darker than my hair, and so the contrast was not too great.
Some hours later I descended the stairs and left the place. No one seemed to have paid me much mind, but I thought it wiser to move on to a more respectable inn in a better district. As I moved through the streets, I saw guards in the Imperial livery tacking up posters everywhere — much as they had when the Emperor first announced his quest for a bride, although their purpose this time was not quite so benign. No, these sheets had a not very good likeness of me on them, with my red hair taking a prominent place in the description beneath, along with the words “Wanted for Sorcery.”
Despite my new disguise, I kept my eyes downcast as I walked, fearful that at any moment one of them would see through my fragile concealment and call me out for the fugitive I was. But though I walked with my heart in my throat and my hands trembling, none of them seemed to notice me.
An hour or so later, I walked shakily into a hostel reserved for young women only, the sort of place where those looking for employment stayed whilst between situations. I had known such establishments existed, as Mari had spoken of them once or twice, and I thought this a far safer place than an inn where all types would come and go, and drink far too much. A young woman on her own was only a target in such a place, whereas here I thought I might be left alone.
The proprietress of the hostel, a stern-looking woman in her fifties named Madam Isling, inspected me from head to toe, and I all but quaked in my stolen slippers, thinking that surely she must notice a spot of dye I had not wiped away, or that my gown did not quite fit — Shelynne, while far more slender than her sister, was still of a more robust build than I. But after a long moment she gave a brisk nod and said, “Very well. And you said your name was…?”
“Mari,” I supplied. It was a common enough name, and my wits at the moment were too addled to come up with anything better. “Mari Gelsandre.”
“Well, Mari, you look and sound like a respectable enough girl. You may have a room here until you find your next situation, but you are expected to pitch in and help with the upkeep and the cooking. That is how I keep my rates low enough for you girls to have a place to stay.”
“Of course, ma’am,” I said at once. Truly, I did not think my duties could be any more onerous than they had been at my stepmother’s home, and I was so grateful to have found a haven that I believed I would have cheerfully doubled the labor required as long as it meant I could stay here without detection.
From there she directed me upstairs, saying I would be sharing a room with a girl called Lindry, who had to leave her last situation rather unexpectedly, but who had been given a small sum so that she would not find herself on the streets. And I nodded and hurried away, clutching my satchel, glad that Madam Isling did not seem inclined to ask any more questions of me.
Once I entered the upstairs hall, I found a small knot of four or five girls gathered there, talking in excited half-whispers.
“…And they are looking everywhere for her!” one girl, small and round, with eyes equally round, but quite large, said. “The Emperor has said he will scour the kingdom until he finds her!”
I realized who the “her” of this pronouncement must be and schooled my features to a more or less neutral expression, even as I sidled closer, hoping to hear more.
“But how did she even get away?” a second girl, this one tall and thin, inquired.
“Oh, it was the most amazing thing!” the round girl exclaimed. “All the guards crowded around her, and it seemed there was no chance of escape, when suddenly there was the most blinding flash of blue light, and she was gone! The sorceress had sent her away — miles and miles away!”
Despite everything, I had to fight to keep a smile from my lips. Apparently the tale had already grown in the scant hours since I had made my escape from the palace. Would that my aunt had truly possessed such skills! But no, all her sorcery lay in illusion and disguise, and I murmured a quiet thanks that she had been able to summon those powers to protect me even as the guards seized her.
My heart wrenched within me then, for I still did not know whether she even yet lived. And Torric — was he searching for me so that I might meet my own punishment? D
id he hate me now, hate me for what I had done?
I must have made some small sound, for the little group of girls paused and looked over at me. Summoning a smile, I took a few steps forward and said, “Do not let me interrupt you. It sounds like quite the tale.”
“It is not a tale!” the round girl replied in indignation. “It is true, and what actually happened at the palace last night, just as His Majesty was about to announce his new bride. Have you not heard anything of it?”
“I confess I haven’t,” I said. “Or rather, I saw some of His Majesty’s guards posting notices about the city as I made my way here, but I thought the girl on them must be some sort of common criminal.”
“Well, it is the most astonishing thing, for she is the woman he fell in love with, but it was all sorcery, a spell cast by the girl’s aunt to bind him to her, and when the plot was revealed, she was spirited away before she could be captured.”
“And — and did the sorceress get away as well?” Thank goodness, my voice did not shake at all as I asked the question.
“No, she did not. She is now in the dungeon, and people are wondering why the Emperor has not already cut off her head, but perhaps he wants to question her first, or some such thing. At any rate, she will not be casting spells again.”
The words “cut off her head” caused another lump to form in the pit of my stomach, but I forced myself to remain calm. Yes, Aunt Therissa had been captured, and things were certainly very dire. However, Torric had not yet ordered her execution, apparently. What that meant, I was not sure. Perhaps it was as the strange girl said, and he only wished to question her more. Or perhaps he could not bring himself to execute a woman, even one who had brought death upon herself by using forbidden magic.
“I’m Lindry,” the round girl said. “You’re new — are you to share my room?”
“Yes,” I replied. “I am Mari Gelsandre.”
“Well, Mari,” she said frankly. “You’re very pretty, so I doubt you will have too much trouble finding a situation soon enough, unless the lady of the house is the jealous type, or there is a son with roving hands, which happened at my last house, only they were good enough to recognize it was not my fault, and so they gave me a letter of reference and a month’s pay, and so I think I shall do well enough.”
This was all said in one breath, and I began to realize I most likely would not have to offer too much in the way of conversation. Well enough, as I feared I would soon run out of lies to tell.
“Thank you, Lindry,” I said. “Would you be so kind as to show me our room, as I have walked very far today, and am quite tired.”
“Of course,” she replied, and grinned at her companions, as if promising to finish the story as soon as she had seen me settled. “It’s a good room, as it’s on the corner, and so we don’t have to share two walls. And even better, it looks out on the kitchen garden and not the street, so it’s quiet enough. Here it is.”
I looked into the room she indicated and felt a wave of quiet relief wash over me. No, it was not grand, but it was clean and neat, with two narrow beds and a small table between them, and a wash basin in one corner with a cracked mirror over it.
Definitely not the palace, my mind seemed to whisper at me, and I forced the thought away. I could not think of the palace, for if I did I would think of him, think of his eyes and the sound of his voice and the way his lips had once touched mine. And if I thought of that, then I would recall the horror in his face as he stared at me, regarding me as if I were some alien creature he had never seen before.
“It is most pleasant,” I told Lindry, and blinked away the tears that had begun to form before they could be anything but small, stinging pinpricks. “And how long have you been here?”
“Only a fortnight. I have been looking for a situation, but I can afford to be somewhat choosy, and so I have not made a decision yet. Tomorrow I will show you where the notice board is, so you can see if there’s anything that suits you.”
I had heard of these boards; it was how Mari had come to us, after my stepmother had advertised for a new girl when the previous maid had been caught pilfering. Well, I supposed I was a pilferer, too, although oddly I felt little guilt over my petty thefts.
“Thank you,” I said. “That will be most helpful, as I would like to find someplace as quickly as possible.”
“They turned you off with nothing?” Lindry inquired, and although there was nothing but friendly curiosity in her expression, I knew she would not be put off by any evasion on my part.
Luckily, I had already concocted a story in my mind, knowing I would have to offer something to any prospective employers. “Oh, no, not at all, but I like to be kept busy. I was in the household of Lady Gabrinne Nelandre, but she is just engaged to the Duke of Gahm, and I did not wish to be removed to the country. So she paid me well and gave me a letter of reference, and took very good care of me.” I had to hope that Gabrinne would not mind too much that I had borrowed her name; somehow I had the feeling she would not.
Lindry’s eyes widened a bit. “That will put you in good stead, to have a reference such as that. I am sure you will have a new position in no time. It is too bad that you do not care for the country, but I suppose it is not for everyone. I, on the other hand, would like it very much.” She started, as if a sudden thought had seized her, and asked, “Do you — do you think you could put in a word for me with her?”
Oh, dear. Thinking furiously, I replied, “I wish I could, but I believe her household is already set, and she is not looking for anyone else.”
A little sigh. “I suppose it was too much to ask for.”
“It is fine,” I said quickly, for I didn’t want to Lindry to think I would not recommend her because of some failing on her part. “If I can think of any other possibilities for you, I will be sure to let you know.”
She nodded at that, and must have realized I was not inclined to further conversation, for she offered a quick smile before saying, “Supper is at five, and Madam Isling always rings a bell, so it is difficult to miss!”
And then she ducked out and left me alone. I let out a sigh of my own at the sudden quiet, then set the satchel down on the bed that was to be mine. Tomorrow I would have to see about purchasing another gown, as I had only the one, and, and…
My mind rebelled at these orderly plans, and my legs seemed to lose their strength as I collapsed on the bed next to the bag containing my precious store of coins. I did not want to think about gowns and situations. I only wanted to think of him, and how I would never hear his voice again, never feel his arms around me, never see the sudden, shocking brilliance of his smile or the richness of his laughter.
Grief overcame me then, and I buried my face in my hands and wept, wondering what on earth was to become of me now.
Chapter 16
Torric
“I do not understand what you are waiting for!” my mother snapped, and I saw Lyarris wince and give a small shake of her head. “Execute that woman at once and have done with it!”
So easy for her to say. Yes, this Therissa Larrin had admitted to using magic, a thing that had been outlawed for centuries everywhere in the civilized world, but for some reason I had a difficult time seeing her as a foul mage, rotten to the core through the use of forbidden sorcery. She did not look like an evil user of magic. She looked — well, she looked just as a prosperous wife of a knight or baronet might, probably very pretty in her youth, and still handsome enough. Her face was not one that belonged to a person rotten to the core.
However, I knew attempting to explain any of that to my mother would be worse than useless, for she would no doubt see it as weakness on my part that I hadn’t had the Larrin woman dragged out to the courtyard and her head struck off with a sword. Never mind that the Crown hadn’t meted out that sort of punishment in years, not since the usurper had lost his head once my father’s forces were victorious. I would have to order an executioner’s platform built, and that would take time.
My voice more even than I had expected it to be, I replied, “I will not have her killed while there is a chance she has information regarding what happened to Ashara. By all accounts she has disappeared into the city without a trace, despite all my guards’ best efforts. So executing the one person who might be able to help — whatever her crimes — is not the wisest thing to do, I think.”
A scowl, which meant my argument had some persuasion to it, and my mother did not want to admit the fact. “Very well,” she said irritably. “But it will not look good, you know, for you to keep her alive indefinitely. The people must see that punishment awaits anyone who uses the forbidden magics.”
I did not bother to point out that this was the first time anyone had been caught using magic in more than a century, and therefore the number of possible future transgressors was most likely quite low. “I will take that under advisement.”
She sniffed. “Which means you will do as you please. Very well, Torric, but do not come complaining to me when our rule of law begins to completely fall apart.”
“No worries on that score, Mother, for you know I do not come complaining to you about anything, as I am aware that I am not likely to meet with any support or understanding.”
Despite the myriad ways in which she aggravated me, this was the first time I had been bold enough to say such a thing out loud. Her spine stiffened, and she flashed me a look of such outrage I wondered if she were about to reach out and slap me for my impertinence. But then she seemed to recall that although I was her son, I was also the Emperor, and she stilled.
“I have said everything I have to say. Do as you will, however foolish that may be.” And she turned and stalked from the chamber, leaving a palpable cloud of fury in her wake.
“That could have gone better,” Lyarris remarked, speaking for the first time as she rose from her chair and came to stand by me at the window.
Ashes of Roses (Tales of the Latter Kingdoms Book 4) Page 21
