by Alena Pitts
Dad interrupted me this time. “I get that it is a lot to take in, Lena. But if you really don’t think you can do this then tell us now before everyone involved continues making plans. Not just us but the Fenways too.”
Suddenly ten eyeballs were all staring in my direction. My sisters sat around the table listening, and no one was smiling anymore.
Mom sat down next to me.
I could not tell if she and Dad were angry, frustrated, disappointed, or a combination of all three but I knew this was serious and I knew I needed to think carefully.
I wanted this opportunity. I had cried for it. I had prayed for it. I just had no idea about everything it would involve. I had no idea it would mean leaving so soon. I would not even have a chance to say goodbye to my friends. I would miss my school awards banquet on Tuesday, my class party on Wednesday, and my entire summer! And what about Austin, what was the plan for him?
Is this really what I want now? I never actually wanted to be an actress, I just wanted to meet Mallory Winston. What would she think of me if I changed my mind? I really needed to think about this. I wished I could talk to Emma and Savannah. They would know what I should do.
My eyes began to water and I knew that I was going to burst into tears. I had cried a lot lately and once the tears started it was hard to stop them.
“Lena,” Mom started. “I want you to know that it really is ok if you don’t want to do this. Being in a movie requires a lot of work and a lot change that you probably have not thought about. But I also want you to think about the idea that maybe this opportunity is from God. Sometimes God asks us to do things that we don’t really want to do. Sometimes it’s scary and uncomfortable but He wants us to trust Him.”
Mom placed her hand on top of mine and spoke softly.
“Lena, I want you to remember that you prayed about this. Do you think that maybe this is something that God is asking you to do? Now that things look more challenging, can you still trust Him?”
“Yes, but why would God care if I do this or not? I do trust Him . . .” I paused. My words were full of emotions. “Mmm, well, I try to trust him. But does He really care if I am in a movie?”
“God cares about you and every detail of your life, Lena. Everything.”
Dad spoke, “And sometimes He asks us to do things that we don’t understand because we can’t see the whole picture. But God does. Remember what God does for you is not just for you. He wants to use you to show others His love. He even wants to grow you and teach you things so that He can use you even more.”
I sunk back in my seat and pushed my plate forward. My eggs were cold and my bacon didn’t even look good anymore.
I knew my mom and dad were right. I remembered crying and praying that if this was God’s plan I would get this opportunity. But that was when it seemed fun. Now suddenly it all just seemed really, really hard.
In my heart I understood what God was asking me to do, yet somehow that didn’t make me feel any better about the changes to my plans. And it definitely didn’t make it less hard.
I felt my heartbeat begin to slow down and although I still had lots of questions, I managed to smile.
“Ok.” I forced the word out of my mouth.
Ansley had been sitting on the edge of her seat waiting. Shifting her eyes back and forth from Dad to me to Mom and back to me. As soon as she heard the word, “Ok,” from me, she said, “So then yes, Lena? ’Cause I’m going to need to start packing! And so do you!”
We all chuckled and I reached over and gave Ansley a squeeze.
Dad looked at me said, “Lena, remember what Jeremiah 29:11 says, ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’ Sweetie, trust that God has this all worked out.”
My mind was racing with so many thoughts. I needed to pack. I needed to talk to Emma and Savannah and I needed to find a way to make everything make sense.
I excused myself from the table and headed to my room.
I laid across my bed with Austin. I needed to talk to someone. And I was sure there was only one person who would understand.
Hello, God,
Ok. So I am not sure what you are doing or if you are even doing anything. Are you? I wish there was a way to really talk to you. I mean, I know I can talk to you but I wish you would talk back. For a while it seemed like you didn’t want me to get this part and I prayed and prayed that you did. Now all of sudden it seems like you do. So why me? I am so confused. Mom and Dad keep saying you care about my life and to trust you and that you have a plan. But if I don’t know your plan, then how do I know if I am doing the right thing? This is so hard! I don’t want to mess up.
Ok, I’ll go. Just please don’t let me mess up.
The next morning, I woke up at sunrise. The funny thing is I was in my closet on the floor, balled up in a tangle of blankets and last week’s uniform shirts, socks, and skirts.
“So weird,” I whispered quietly.
It was Sunday. I was all set to leave in just a few hours. My life felt like complete chaos and so did the inside of my stomach.
The last fourteen hours had been a whirlwind. Plane tickets were purchased, emails to my teachers and friends were sent, our new summer home was ready, and everything I needed for the summer was stuffed into my large lime green suitcase, my turquoise duffle bag, and my green and turquoise polka-dot backpack.
The room was still mostly dark and the house was silent.
Well, silent with a few alternating moments of deep breaths, snorts, and whimpers. So, ok, I guess it was not really silent at all. But when no one is talking, I find comfort in these sounds—the sounds of my family. I may be the only one awake, but at least I wasn’t alone. From my open bedroom door I could see Ashton and Amber across the hall, sleeping under their pink and turquoise flowered comforter and I knew Mom and Dad were just a few steps away.
I just lay there listening for a moment.
“Lena!” Mom’s whisper interrupted my thoughts. I hadn’t even heard her coming.
“Yes?” I said while quietly scooting forward through my closet doors.
Mom looked surprised to see me crawling on the floor. “What are you doing?”
I shrugged. I didn’t have an answer for her because I had no idea how I ended up there. Must have been another midnight bathroom run gone wrong.
“Alrightyyyy then,” she said and quickly moved on as if my sleeping on my closet floor was completely normal. “Emma and Savannah are coming over! I just hung up with them.”
I leaped in the air and landed one foot at a time, trying not to make a lot of noise as my bare feet thumped against the floor.
“Yay! Thank you, Mommy!!” I squealed in a whisper, if that’s possible.
“Welcome, sweetie. It’s still early but they will be over in about an hour. They can only stay for a little bit, but at least you will get to see them both before our flight.” Mom finished speaking but her words lingered and so did her smile.
“What time is it anyway?” I asked.
“It’s 7:40.”
“Ok.” I headed directly down the hall for the shower. Knowing that Emma and Savannah were coming gave me the energy I needed to get the day started.
By nine o’clock Emma and Savannah were at the door and I was one happy girl.
Needless to say we skipped church because of all the chaos. Dad invited Emma and Savannah to stay for a big breakfast and an at-home church time.
He put us girls in charge of worship. We chose our favorite Mallory Winston songs and Amber and Ashton created dance and hand motions to match. We giggled way more than we sang and when it was time for Dad to talk he could barely get us to calm down.
He gathered us all around the kitchen table and just repeated, “Girls, girls, girls . . .” until finally the room was quiet and all eyes were focused on him.
“Ok . . . now that I have everyone’s attention, I just want to take few minutes to talk before Lena heads o
ff for her great big awesome adventure this summer.”
Savannah and Emma both pretended to sob momentarily. Dad smiled and continued, “Last night I was praying about this summer and what it would mean for our family. Lena, would you believe that Mom and I are a little scared?”
Dad’s confession surprised me. I had had no idea but he had my full attention. Knowing my parents felt like I did somehow made me feel better.
“It can be scary taking such a big jump and doing something so different than what we normally do. But for some reason I kept thinking about Peter.”
“Peter that walked on water, Daddy?” Amber asked.
“Yup, Amber. That’s him. He walked on water. Actually Peter knew a lot about water because he was a fisherman, so he knew how crazy it was to ask God to help him walk on water. He knew that people could not really walk on water. The people around him probably thought he was ridiculous for even asking. And that’s the thing—Peter had crazy faith in God. Don’t you think?”
It felt like Dad was looking at each of us in the eye at the same time. We all nodded and Dad kept right on talking.
“Peter did not let what people thought stop him. He didn’t even let what he already knew about water stop him from trusting God for something so big! He still asked God for something crazy! Peter believed and trusted God to do impossible things.
“So Lena, Emma, Savannah, Amber, Ashton, and Amber, I pray that no matter where you are or what is going on around you, you will always be crazy for God.”
His words landed on my ears but like silly putty, some stuck there while the rest slowly slid down and settled into the center of my heart. Something told me I would need to keep them there forever.
I smiled and said, “I’ll always be crazy, Dad.”
Ashton chimed in, “Mmm-hmmm!”
We all chuckled. I felt better than I had in hours. I still wasn’t sure I understood it all but spending so much time with my family and friends made everything feel right. I may not have known what I was doing but I knew I wasn’t making a mistake.
Savannah and Emma left at eleven and by 11:20 Dad was loading the van with a summer’s worth of Mom’s and my belongings.
It was quiet for most of the ride to the airport until Ansley blurted out, “Lena, you are going to meet Mallory Winston soon!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed.
Between all the tears, gummy teeth, prayers, luggage, and goodbyes I had somehow lost track of the fact that meeting her was really happening.
“I wonder what she’s like.”
It did not sound like Ansley wanted an answer but Ashton gave her one anyway, “Awesome.”
Ironically, Ashton’s one word reply summed up everything I was feeling. Awesome. It felt awesome to know that God had answered my prayers. It felt awesome to know that my friends and family were just as excited as I was. And it felt awesome to know that I was just hours away from meeting Mallory.
As soon as Mom and I boarded the plane, I opened my book bag and pulled out my little black book. I turned to the next empty page and wrote the word: AWESOME in big box letters across the entire page.
After taking a little time to carefully color in each and every letter I glided my hand to the next empty page and wrote:
Dear God,
This is awesome. Thank you.
“Flight attendants, please prepare for landing.”
Mom slept the entire flight and I must have joined her. The loud yet muffled voice coming from the little speakers in the ceiling made me jump. Mom popped up just as the flight attendant was motioning for her to pull her seat forward.
I knew that Mom had slept well because when she sat up she was smacking her lips together and looking around trying to figure out where she was.
She turned towards me, frowned a little, and gasped.
“Mom, what is it?” I was panicked.
She had a look of terror in her eyes. I had no idea what it could be until she said, “Lena, your hair!”
Now I was really worried. “What? What is it? What is wrong with my hair?”
I reached my hand to the top of my head and touched it. One big sticky glob of hair right in the front.
My mom sat there staring.
“Mom, help me! What is it?”
“Gum,” she replied.
My hair was covered in sticky, grapy, purple gum. GUM . . . I tried to tug it out but then I realized pulling would just make it worse.
Mom was still not helping and I was starting to feel a little annoyed. I am not sure if she was half asleep or just enjoyed watching me pull my hair out strand by strand like some sort a fanatic. Either way I needed her to do something and she wasn’t.
“Welcome to California,” the pilot announced just as we felt the wheels vibrating across the ground.
This was a disaster. We had arrived, my mom was in a total traveler’s trance, and my perfectly cute, freshly straightened hair had become a messy, gooey, gum-hawk.
Once we finally made our way off the plane and into the airport terminal, we headed straight for a restroom.
Mom was finally awake, alert, and moving fast.
As soon as we burst through the doors, she pulled out her little clear plastic fix-it pouch. She sat it on one of the sinks and started digging—pulling out thread, insect repellant, and hair spray. I’m not sure what she was looking for and I didn’t have time to find out. I stood at the sink next to her, turned on the faucet, bent down, and pushed as much of the top of my head directly under the tiny spout as I could. Water splashed everywhere, my hair was ruined, and I still felt globs of gum.
Mom muttered, “Oh, goodness.” Followed by, “Ahhh, here they are! Clippers!”
“You mean nail clippers?” I shouted! “No way, Mom!”
Meanwhile I could hear movement coming from the back of the restroom and a few seconds later there was a flush from one of the stalls.
I gasped and mumbled under my breath, “Uh oh, Mom . . . we are not alone.”
“Yeah, it’s ok. Let’s just focus on getting this hair taken care of,” she replied.
My initial thought was to stand up straight and pretend nothing unusual was happening with my hair, my mother, or me. Something inside of me would not let me. I agreed with Mom, we needed to just stay focused on my clump of hair. I was determined to somehow remove this two-hour-old gum. So, I just kept right on drowning my head in the sink.
I heard a door swing open, and knew it was just a matter of seconds before total embarrassment set in. I braced myself as I tilted my head from under the running water just enough to get a peek at who was coming toward me.
“Uh-oh,” Mom mumbled under her breath. “Lena, sweetie,” I felt Mom tugging at my arm.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see two purple cowboy boots swiftly moving, one in front of the other. A long white skirt flowed in line with the shifting of each pointy-toed boot. Without even seeing a face, I knew who it was.
“Get up,” Mom tried to urge.
I immediately raised my head from under the running water, my wet gummy hair flung forward and I watched as splatters of water sailed across the restroom and land on the blue jean shirt of Mallory Winston.
“Oh no!!” Mom gasped.
Mallory stopped walking, blinked a few times really fast and backed away.
“We are so sorry.” Mom moved frantically towards the towel dispenser pulling and pulling.
With water dripping from the top of my head down my shoulders, I stood tall and announced, “Uhhhhhhh. Hi, I’m Lena.”
Mallory opened her eyes wide.
“Lena Daniels,” I continued.
Mom stepped forward and held out her handful of little white squares.
Mallory politely took the paper towels from my mother and inched a little closer towards me. She stooped down until we were the same height and spoke with so much joy in her voice, “Hi, Lena. It’s me, Mallory!”
“Oh, we know,” Mom said nervously. “So nice to meet you.”
“I’m so sorry,” I uttered.
“Oh no, don’t worry.” Mallory waved her hand in the air and tried to act as normal as possible. “Hmm, it’s just a little water on me. But what do we have going on here?”
“Gum,” Mom answered and pointed to the top of my head.
Mallory dropped her big brown leather bag on the floor and buried her head between the two thick straps.
“I think I have just what you need. You probably should get used to wearing these anyway, you know, so people won’t keep stopping you for pictures. I mean, you are going to be famous now!” She chuckled while shuffling things around until she found what she was looking for.
Finally, she pulled out the cutest white baseball cap I had ever seen. It had a big turquoise “2” on the front and a thin yellow line tracing the brim.
She plopped it right on top my wet hair and smiled. “Ok, ladies, shall we go? I think we have a car waiting for the three of us!”
“Oh, perfect!” Mom cheered as she helped me gather our things. “Mallory,” she started, “you are a life saver! I didn’t know what we were going to do. Now I’m sure I can get it out once we get settled.” Mom thought for a moment and said, “I didn’t realize we were riding together.”
Mallory explained that she was just flying in from a concert in Florida. The production team had scheduled us to be picked up from the airport together to make things easier.
I walked just a little behind Mallory and Mom and watched. They talked to each other as if they had known each other for years. Mom kept glancing in my direction and inviting me into their conversation with her smile. I was too nervous to speak. Mallory was taller than I thought she’d be and she smelled like sugar-covered strawberries. Her boots were loud and her skirt created a welcome breeze for me when she walked.
Mom had lots of questions about the movie and what exactly was going on, but Mallory had very few answers. They both seemed to enjoy talking it all through anyway.
I had made so many mistakes already with my gummy teeth and gummy hair. I didn’t want to do or say anything else to embarrass myself. I just soaked up Mallory’s words and tried to remember every detail of our first few moments. I knew Emma and Savannah would want to hear all about it.
