The angry growl of a car caused me to look behind me. A red jaguar sped up and skidded to a stop right beside me. I started to reach inside my coat for my gun but stopped as the window slid down.
“Get in, Tristan,” Dominique called out.
I looked at her, shoving my hands into my coat. “No,” I said.
Dominique’s angry eyes flashed on me. “Get in the fucking car, Tristan.”
I did as she asked.
Dominique rubbed a hand through her long hair. “You know a place where we can go to talk? To be alone?”
I nodded and pointed straight ahead of me. “It’s a drive.”
Dominique shifted the Jag and it purred under her hand. “I don’t care.”
There was an anbandoned old road that was lumpy and unkempt that I had known about. Not too far from it there was a steep drop off to a busy highway.
For a while, I had scouted the place for one of Zander’s potiental body drops. It was secluded and dark, which was perfect for what we did at night in the name and sake of the family, but the highway bugged me, though. Development for profit; Mini Malls for shoppers, Walmarts for damned near everyone, had an annoying way of popping up.
There could always be a chance they would build on the area and any heat, no matter how small, was too much when it involved the Rogue family.
The Rogue Family…Right now the vain of my existence, the apex to all my problems and the cusp of my very dysfunctional life.
I left Dominique in the car and sat on the front hood after we parked. I hurried with another cigarette, lighting it and blowing smoke against the wind. The dwindling sunlight slightly warmed my cheeks but I would expect a strong, cold breeze soon.
By the time I heard the Jag’s driver door open and slam closed I couldn’t recollect how long I had been seating on the hood, smoking away my thoughts as fast as they arose. The cigarette I had been smoking had been long gone and two others were lit right afterwards.
“The playing field has changed greatly for us, Tristan,” Dominique said, rounding the front of the car and standing right in front of me.
I swallowed and was unsuccessful in moving the lump out of my throat. “What do you mean by that?”
She ignored me, leaning down and plucking my cigarette from my hands. She put the butt to her lips, her eyes misting as she looked at me. She took one long pull, and blew the smoke out of her nostrils.
At that moment, she looked so much like her mother.
I cleared my throat again. “Your father was every bit the monster you proclaimed he was,” I said.
She nodded, a smile started on her lips but never fully bloomed. “I go back to Miami with him tomorrow.”
“For good?” I questioned.
She shook her head ‘no’ and I couldn’t deny that I breathed easier. “To tie up loose ends and then I will be back to prepare for my wedding.”
“Okay.”
“Was that sadness that I saw when you thought I was going away for good?” She snickered as she walked in between my open legs.
I looked up and into her eyes. Dominique tossed my cigarette away, bent down and planted her lips against mine.
The kiss was rough and tasted like smoke.
I moved my head out of the way, leaning back.
“What?” She asked, hurt at my invading, “Don’t want me because I’m not married?”
Her words were too ugly to let them replay in my mind. My lips parted, my intent to say something to this but there was nothing I could say.
Dominique knew the truth.
She knew that I knew that my lies were now weightless and would never hold any ground again.
Dominique leaned in and kissed me again, harder and rougher this time. Her tongue licked around my mouth, around my teeth and played with my own tongue that was still frozen at her aggressiveness.
“Come on,” she goaded, “show me what my mother couldn’t let go.”
At this, I shoved her away from me.
Dominique stumbled back but did not fall like Ally had when I made the same mistake of using too much strength when I had been cornered and surprised by it.
But, like Ally, Dominique had tears running down her cheeks. She used the back of her hand to wipe her eyes. I looked away, unable to see her cry. Here was the future boss to my family, the bridge between two prestigious families, and the least I could do was look away when she broke down because the pressure had been too much. Being the boss, the one in charge, you were prone to break down. But, your men couldn’t see it, couldn’t handle if they did. Crying wasn’t part of the job – man or woman or child – strength, relentless and never dying, was a requirement.
Then I decided looking away was a coward’s way out. I was the reason she was crying, and me not looking was as bad as me turning my back on her, which I already had done back at the compound. I had participated in the mockery of her father leading me into her arms on a very tight leash; hugged, kissed, and touched her, then walked away.
I used my thumb to wipe away the tears on her face. At first I thought she would jerk away from my touch, but she did not. Dominique closed her eyes and waited as I moved away the tears from under her right eye then did the same with the left. Her skin felt amazingly soft and my thumb lingered on her left cheek. No more tears left to wipe, no reason at all to still be touching her but I couldn’t break the contact.
Finally, I dropped my hand away from her face.
I motioned to our secluded surroundings, “Why are we here?”
Her eyes darkened as she glared down at me, “Tying up loose ends.”
“That means?”
She put a finger to my lips. “It means that our lives have changed. We chose our paths and now it’s time to walk them. This will be the last time you see me cry, Tristan.” Her hand dropped away from my mouth. “Tell me again,” she said, “Tell me again that you’re not fucking my mother.”
I bit back the automated lie and thought about my answer, more or less, thought about the truth.
And I didn’t like the truth. There was no way I could answer that question without it sounding ugly. It wasn’t the lie it self, it was the aversion to having to verbally say it. What Lulina and I did, it was meant for the dark. In the dark, to me, it looked better and felt better. I was lonely and misplaced and she had paid just enough attention, and said just the right things for her hooks to be dug in deep.
To bring light to that, to aknowledge what me and her had been doing since I was nine years old, was not something I wanted. In the dark, I had fallen in love with the woman because she was beautiful, perfect and loving.
In the light, I was beholded to Lulina Wells as dangerously so like Zander’s drug addiction. I was addicted to my rapist, the woman who molested me since I was a child. I wasn’t going to admit that. I didn’t care who was asking the questions, that was a patch of truth that didn’t need to see the light of day, and if it ever did, I would do anything to burn it away, or deny it.
Dominique gave me a third option.
“Say nothing if you can’t voice it,” she told me.
I said nothing. With this, I fell back to the hood of the car. The noose around my neck felt extremely tight. I unbuttoned the collar of my shirt and still felt no relief. It wasn’t the tie’s fault this time.
Dominique turned the cliff. The sun was disappearing now, the sky was getting darker and the wind continued to pick up. Together, we both shifted and adjusted our body posture to deal with the cold wind, but we did it silently.
When she spoke again, her back was still to me. “I’m going to kiss you again,” she said, “don’t turn me me away this time. This is your chance to have me. This is my chance to have you. This is our chance to be to each other what we wanted when we first met – when you had no idea who I was, and it didn’t matter who you were.”
“My father,” I said softly, “I can’t.”
She walked back to me, her hands running through my hair. I crumbled into her hot touch, despit
e the cold wind blowing around us.
“Have me,” she said.
I lashed back. “I’m sick of women!” My voice echoed all around and it terrified me. My voice, coming back to me in waves of small echoes, didn’t sound like mine. The voice I heard back was enraged, partly crazed, and extremely desperate and in pain. “Yes,” I screamed, “Yes I crossed a man who gave his life for this family and in return caused his wife to kill herself.”
I pinched at the bridge of my nose and squeezed until I no longer thought of the tears, and instead, thought of the pain I was causing myself. I had wanted to keep going, wanted to tell Dominique of my relationship with her mother but I couldn’t utter one word to that bit of dark admition.
“But you,” I began, but stopped and swallowed so hard I could hear the spit barreling down my throat, “What makes you think you’re worth defying and crossing my father, the one man that I love so much I hate and hate so much I love, for you?”
She stepped into me. “Because once a wife fucker, always a wife fucker.”
I had wanted to slap her but managed to repress that impulse and grabbed and squeezed her arms. She slapped my hands away. I reached out for her again but she leaned her arm back and let it fly forward.
Her fist caught me just above my cheek.
“Prove to me that you’ve changed,” she yelled, “Here’s your chance, Tristan. Here’s the one thing you never thought you would ever have. Prove to me that you’re worth more than shit in your family.”
For years, I had been caught up in my own web of lies, sex and unforbidden, broken rules. And, if there was an out to be had after all of it, all that I had done, I wanted to take it.
Even if that meant walking away from the one woman who literally had the power to touch my heart and my world explode for it.
I tightened my jacket around my shoulders, nodding to her that my choice had been made. “Will you take me home?” I asked, “Or am I needed by my Papa or father, or your father, at the compound?”
Her gaze was suspicious, “That’s it?”
I nodded again, attempted to smile but failed. “I’m taking my chance, Dominique.”
My feet were moving. The world was flapping around me as the wind licked at the tails of my coat. I realized that I had been holding my breath as I felt it move through my open mouth when my hand touched the door handle to the jag’s passenger side door.
Dominique called out after me, “Tristan.”
I turned to her, touching at a curl that blew across my face and moved it.
She decided to let me in on a very dark secret that I wished she had kept buried – for both our sakes.
“I’m falling for you,” she spoke to me as the sun was setting behind her.
I let the door handle go and stood back from the car.
Dominique closed the distance between us and I didn’t shove her away as her hands touched at my face, pulling my chin so I could look at her.
“I’m in love with you, Tristan,” she told me. She looked at me, her eyes now slightly red from all the crying; her lips slightly swollen from the biting and nibbling with her teeth. Her gray eyes were still clear as ever and so beautiful.
“For a moment,” she began, “For one, single moment, let’s just be Dominique and Tristan. No Rogue. No Lougotti. Let’s not be two children from crime families.”
My throat was almost too tight to talk. “Then what are we?”
“Just two people who are in love with each other.”
My hands touched her waist. I leaned my head down, taking one deep breath – preparing for a fall that I proberly wouldn’t survive when I landed – and kissed her, soft and tenderly, my teeth nipped at my bottom lip. Her hands gripped more tightly securely in my hair as my lips touched her neck, my tongue feeling the fast pulse against her neck.
She pulled me back so we could look at each other. “Tell me you want me, Tristan,” she commanded softly.
“I want you.”
“Tell me how fast your heart beats when I’m touching you.”
“So fast I swear I’m dying.”
“Tell me you’re going to let me have you, Tristan.”
“I’m yours, Dominique.”
Dominique watched me intently and I watched her back. And then, as the last light of the decending sun caught her face, she smiled at me. I closed my eyes slowly, and deliberately hard then squeezed my eyes shut and felt a tear slip. Mentally, I was snapping a picture of that smile, logging it into my memory. It was her smile, but I wanted it for myself - just this one smile to be mine.
My smile…
Dominique said, “Now, take me somewhere you can fuck me, Tristan.”
“I will if you teach me how to drive stick.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Okay, I’ll take us somewhere you can fuck me.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I hadn’t looked before I plunged, no need, I knew how steep the fall was…
We ended up at a hotel.
And it was beautiful, clean and neat and smelled of fresh flowers and grins and laughs and happy times. And even though it smelled of all those things, I couldn’t completely shut out the sent of treachery, lies, forbidden sex, broken trust and rules and damnation.
And the smell was putrid.
I leaned against the balcony, trying to catch my breath and my thoughts as it whirled around me. My last cigarette burned between my fingers.
I placed the filter to my lips, inhaling the last pull and flicked the cigarette away. And as I watched as the cigarette drop down the hotel’s twenty stories, I came to a very firm thought in my mind.
I couldn’t be here.
I couldn’t do this.
There wouldn’t be any going back from this moment – no matter who we were pretending to be.
My hands squeezed the cold banister and my knuckles popped. I looked out into the night, watching Chicago come to life as the buildings light’s flicked on and people scurried down on the streets pulling their coats tighter around them.
And I thought maybe I should jump.
End it now and be done with Life’s foreplay.
If I died here, then it would quick. If I walked back into that hotel room, then my death would be slow and agnozing – a warm up for hell, where I figured I would end up.
And then I thought that I could bypass the falling death and be smart. I could turn and walk out this hotel room and never allow myself within spitting distance of Dominique.
I still had options left, but not enough time to consider them all. My back was firmly against the wall and I could feel the grooves of the bricks as I pressed myself harder against it.
I would walk away and keep walking, and if I had to, I would run.
That was my plan, the best one.
I glanced one more time at the city lights and the people walking below then turned back into the mouth of the hotel room.
Dominique was in a robe, her hair still wet from the shower. She had her left leg perched on the end of the bed, her tanned leg exposed.
She cupped her hand and squeezed a small amount of lotion then smeared it over her bare skin. “Help me,” she said.
I stepped into the room, my hands grabbing the two doorknobs behind me, closing them as I stepped inside. I didn’t let out a breath until I heard the doors click closed.
Dominique pulled herself up as my chest touched her back. She had my hand in hers, my palm out. She squeezed a swirl of lotion, using her thumb to lightly rub it in.
She turned to me, her lips tickling my jaw line. “Didn’t you hear me calling you?”
“No,” I answered.
“I wanted you to join me in the shower.”
“And I wanted to think.”
Dominique gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. Her lips were still pressed to my skin as she said, “how about you kiss me first before you leave me because you can’t do this.”
I licked my lips, breathing through my nose as I leaned forward and my mouth was on he
rs.
And the world melted away.
Her lips were like fire, burning and searing and scorching. I chewed softly on her bottom lip, taking it into my mouth and running my tongue over it.
Dominique moaned into my mouth and placed my lotioned palmed hand over her exposed breasts.
The heat of her skin made my knees wobble. I tore my lips away from her mouth and my fingers pulled away her hair from her neck.
Internally, I felt myself shaking – barely holding together – as my lips pressed to the soft skin of her neck. I kissed the side of her throat, biting as softly as I could, but hard enough to leave impressions.
Dominique’s robe was removed at some point, and I would never be sure if I yanked it off her shoulders or if she let it fall all by herself.
Naked except for her panties, she turned into me, her hands were pulling up my shirt, yanking the fabric apart, tearing it, and making the buttons fly all over the room. Her hands tugged at my belt as I clawed away the remains of my shirt and jacket.
Like in the gazebo, theres a window of clarity, but I’m missing it. I should think about what I’m doing, but I didn’t want to think.
I just wanted to feel and nothing more.
When last of my clothes were removed, Dominique sat down on the edge of the bed, her head upturned, her gray eyes darkening as she looked at me. I bent down, my hands touching the soft bed on both sides of her thighs. I leaned in to kiss her but she moved her head out of the way and started to crawl back on the bed.
Dominique settled her back against the headboard, her arm rising over her head to grip the top of it.
“Come here,” she commanded, her voice low and husky.
I kissed her knees, flicking my tongue over the velvety skin and tasting the lotion she had just applied.
Dominique bit her lip as my hand caught on to the side of her underwear.
We both held our breath as I slid the thin fabric down over her knees, down her calves and to her ankles where I gave a tug and the underwear – the last barrier – was discarded.
Her knees parted and I crawled through. Her hard nipples tickled my chest at first as I rested against her. Her hands grabbed my hair and I felt her strength as she pulled me back to her mouth.
Rogue (In the life of the Rogue Book 1) Page 18
