by Lisa Lace
I felt anxious, and I went to get the mail, just to have something to do. I went down a hall and took an elevator to the lobby. I went into a small room that had the mailboxes, unlocking ours, removing the envelopes and relocking the box. When I turned around to go out, the man from the Sons of the Heavenly Father blocked the doorway.
My heart started to pound. I looked around frantically for a way out, but there was no escape. "Leave me alone," I said.
He grinned. I noticed that he had a tooth missing in the front.
"I don't think so, witch," he said. He wasn't moving towards me, but he wasn't leaving either.
"I'm not a witch. I'm just an ordinary person. Haven't you noticed many people here can do the same things I do?"
"I've noticed, all right. A planet full of freaks," he said, then spat on the floor. I looked at the gob of spittle in disgust.
"What do you want?" I asked, needing to get something out of this guy. Maybe if I kept him talking, he would start to see me as a person.
"I want to see you burn," he said. "Once you're dead, I can get off this alien planet and go back home."
Maybe not. I needed to start bluffing. Maybe I could extract some useful information from him. I wondered if he was working alone and if he would be stupid enough to tell me. It was worth a shot to see what I could find out.
"Where's your partner? You don't think you can take me down by yourself, do you? Didn't you hear about the last guys that attacked me?"
He shuffled nervously. His eyes shifted back and forth.
"We work alone." He seemed to be telling the truth. I was hardly trained in lie detection, so I didn't know if I should believe him.
"The ones who attacked me before weren't working alone," I pointed out.
"They weren't assassins," he said. I noticed he was trying to move his hands together. When he did, he crossed his fingers. I remembered the people who had egged me earlier had done the same thing. Maybe they thought making a cross with their fingers would protect them from me.
"Do you think that you can do something to me?" I said incredulously, trying to look more confident than I felt.
He took a step back. These guys were frightened of me! That's when I realized that I held all the power. I lifted my hands.
"Don't," he said. He looked terrified.
I took a step toward him, and he turned and ran. I followed him and watched as he jumped into a car and escaped.
That's when I knew that I had changed since I got here. The old me would have allowed herself to be bullied. I walked back upstairs feeling better than I had in a long time.
Airik came home from work at five o'clock. We were in our new apartment. It was still empty. Airik's apartment was small. We needed to get furniture and other random things. But I loved it. His apartment would never have been ours the way this place was. I appreciated that he had thought of me.
As he walked through the door, I ran and hugged him. When he wasn't home, the days seemed long.
"Hi," he said, smiling and kissing me.
"Hi."
"Did you get the mail? Or maybe there wasn't any?" He pulled off his coat and hung it up. There was one envelope from the mail room - they still used paper for some things here. I hadn't thought to look at it. All my thoughts centered on the assassin. I pulled out the single envelope and read the name on it.
"It's for me?" I frowned.
"Just open it, Quinn."
I tore open the letter and read it. I stared at him.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing's wrong. I got in."
"Quinn, that's awesome. Aren't you happy?"
"A little bit." I smiled. "I'm also shocked and scared."
"You're a natural. You're going to do fine."
I certainly hoped so, but I had more important things to think about right now, as my life was in danger. I put the letter down. I had to tell him right away.
"Airik."
He looked up and frowned, sensing something unusual was going on. "What happened?"
"The man from the Sons of the Heavenly Father. He trapped me in the mail room."
"Quinn! I told you not to go out alone." He looked distressed and came to me, looking me over. "Are you all right?"
"I'm all right, Airik. Calm down. He didn't do anything. I chased him away."
"I think you'd better tell me the whole story." He sat down suddenly on the couch.
I explained what had happened before, and how I got so hot I burned my attackers. I told him how I had used the threat to scare away the assassin.
"You turned your thoughts into heat?"
"That's weird, right? Have you heard of anyone being able to do that before?"
"In fairy tales? All the time." Great. Now I was a character from a children's story.
"You say he was afraid?"
"Definitely."
"That's good. It will certainly work in our favor."
When he talked like that, I felt like I wasn't alone.
"I'm going to check with a contact I have with the police and see if they can deport him." He talked for a few minutes with his friend. "They opened the investigation, but there was no real cause for deportation. He's never been charged with a crime."
"Damn," I said. I knew he'd be back, no matter how scared he was.
"He'll be charged with something now."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Harassment, Quinn. We have strict laws here. You're not allowed to go around threatening people. We'll be pressing charges immediately. Are you ready to go?"
"I'm ready," I said, a little in awe of my husband. He was someone to fear. It was a dangerous side of him I hadn't seen before.
Chapter Nine
AIRIK
"Eye luv yoo," I said under my breath in English as I walked down the hall. "How ar yoo too day?"
My digital tutor corrected my pronunciation. I repeated the words, then went on to the next phrase.
"Eye am feen…" The tutor corrected me again. "Eye am fine. Tank yoo."
I sighed. Language study was involved. I tried to commit to memory once again that a 't' and an 'h' together made the sound 'th'.
I wanted to surprise Quinn in a couple of months by being able to speak a little bit of English. It was a slow process. The language was very different from Standard and my mother tongue.
But I would get it. I was determined.
"Eye luv yoo. Fine, tank… thank… yoo."
QUINN
"How did your day go?" Airik asked. I was making dinner when he walked into the kitchen.
I beamed at him.
"It was amazing. We worked on opening ourselves to the visions, and I had one. Nobody died in it. I still haven't figured out how to separate my personal emotions from the vision."
My instructor's name was Rob. When he wasn't teaching, he led ground teams to rescue potential victims from their future demise. He was teaching my class techniques to protect ourselves from being devastated by our visions. There were ways to put distance between ourselves and what we saw.
"I can help you practice that if you want. I'm the master."
I looked at him and felt hurt creep into my heart. "Yeah, I bet you are."
I looked down at the bread I was piling with meat, vegetables, and cheese.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he said, sounding disgruntled.
I looked up. He had a sour expression on his face. I stayed silent a moment longer but decided to be honest with him. We were supposed to be open with each other, weren't we? Since I had told him about being a psychic, I hadn't kept anything from him.
"I've noticed that you are good at protecting yourself and keeping your distance from people."
He looked mystified.
"You know, not getting close." I turned and stuck a sheet filled with sandwiches into the oven to melt the cheese.
"Not getting close to people in general or not getting close to you?"
"Yes," I said. "You don't let me in. You don't te
ll me what's wrong when you have a bad day. Remember that Precog you had? The one where you couldn't sleep for a week afterward? You never even told me..."
"That's classified, Quinn. I couldn't discuss it with you."
"You didn't let me finish. What I was going to say was that you never told me how you felt or what you were going through. You pushed me away like I was an annoyance. I thought I was your wife. I'm supposed to help you with your problems."
He stared at me strangely. "I don't need any help."
That was the most hurtful thing he could have said to me. I blinked, trying to breathe through the pain in my chest. He didn't need any help. I knew what he meant. He didn't need me.
"Okay, fine. Duly noted."
I turned away from him and took the sandwiches out of the oven. I slid one onto a plate for him and put the sheet holding the other sandwich back on the stove. As I walked out of the room, Airik turned.
"Aren't you having dinner?"
I stopped and looked back at him, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice.
"I'm not hungry anymore. I have studying to do."
Then I left the room, not able to look at his face for another second, knowing that I was superfluous to him. I was merely an attractive roommate that made it easy to get a fuck when he wanted one. So much for being friends, lovers, or maybe something more. It looked like Airik didn't want anything to do with me.
It hurt more than I had expected.
"Thanks for coming on such short notice, Neesa."
"You made it sound important, so I came right over. I'll do anything for a sister. What do you need?"
I dropped onto the couch and looked up at her. She sat on the opposite arm.
"I want to get Airik's attention."
She let out a big sigh. "He's been pushing you away, hasn't he?"
"He's perfectly polite, Neesa, all the time. I shouldn't complain."
"Do you want polite?"
"No. I want authenticity. The real Airik, not the one he trots out for cocktail parties. I want to know who he is and what concerns him. I want to know what happened that made it hard for him to sleep for a whole week."
Neesa looked at me sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Quinn. He's always been like this. No, I shouldn't say that. He had his heart broken once. After that, all his girlfriends sounded the same. 'He pushes me away.' 'He keeps me at arm's length.' 'He doesn't care about me.' 'He's distant.'"
"Is there a box I can check that says all of the above?" I asked.
She sighed again and sat down beside me. "You poor thing. Airik's a hard nut to crack. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, Neesa. I guess he is the way he is. But people change when they desire change. He doesn't want to change right now because everything's great. Why would he want to sabotage the friends with benefits arrangement we have together?"
"Quinn." Neesa put her hand on my shoulder.
"I think I need to shake things up. If this doesn't work and he can't let me in, I'll be taking the divorce option at the end of the year."
Neesa looked shocked. "Did you tell him that?"
"No. I haven't made up my mind yet."
"You sounded pretty sure just now."
"He's making me crazy, and it hurts, Neesa. I want him to see who I am. He doesn't care at all." I stared down at my hands clasped around my knees. "Maybe if he could see me a different way, and through other people's eyes, it would change the way he looks at me. He would know who I am underneath my exterior, and maybe then he would..." I looked down, frowning. "Want me."
Neesa didn't say anything, folding me into a hug. A few tears leaked down my cheeks. I pulled away, standing up.
"I'm not getting upset for no reason. I'm going to do something."
"What's the plan, Quinn? I'm up for it."
I smiled and began to pace as I outlined my idea. "Airik is cut off from his feelings. He's very cerebral. In his head. You know?" Neesa nodded. "I need to get him to feel anything. Once he gets out of his head, maybe he'll start to pay attention to his heart."
"Sounds like a good theory. How are you going to do it?"
"What are some natural feelings to evoke?"
Neesa shrugged.
"Lust, jealousy, anger," I said, counting them off on my fingers.
"That's pretty far from love, Quinn. Don't you want him to love you?"
"I do. But getting him to feel anything will give him access to other, more pleasant feelings, as well."
"You think so?"
"Yep. If not, well, I'll just drive him crazy, which will be a good substitute."
Neesa laughed. "I like the way you think, Quinn. How are you going to elicit those emotions from him?"
"That's not my only goal. It's also about starting to choose my lifestyle instead of being tossed around by current events. I'm going to cut my hair."
"Oh no," she said immediately, a pained look on her face. "Don't cut your beautiful black hair. Please, Quinn. I would kill for hair like that. And besides, women don't wear their hair short on Koccoran."
"That will make me stand out even more. Get used to the idea, Neesa. The hair is going. It's part of my emancipation."
She sighed. "I'll go along with it, but I don't promise to like it."
I smiled. "Okay, then. I want you to help me buy some new clothes that are a little more provocative. I'm going to strut my stuff a bit. I'm sure some alien men exist who will take notice of an off-worlder."
Neesa frowned. "But you won't do anything, right?"
"No!" I said, a little too loudly. Then I lowered my voice. "Of course not. I want Airik. Not any other guy. I would never cheat on him. But he needs to see I am a woman who other men think is sexy. I am a girl who impresses other people. Maybe then he'll be more impressed with me."
"I'm on board so far."
"I think once my training's complete, Rob will offer me a job on his ground team as the on-the-scene Precog. He's been hinting about it. If he does, I'm going to accept."
"You are serious about getting Airik's attention, aren't you?"
"You think he'll be mad?"
"I don't think he will overlook you again."
"What do you want to buy first?" Neesa said, escorting me into one of the empty, airy rooms that filled the shopping mall.
"There's a beach party for Airik's work coming up. I need to get a bathing suit."
She went over to the console and tapped a few times. Immediately ten different kinds of swimsuits appeared in the air before of me. I walked around them, checking them out from all angles. I swiped away all the one-piece swimsuits.
"You're trying to expose as much skin as possible, I see."
"If I'm going to get Airik's attention, I need to be bold, Neesa."
I removed a couple more and tapped in the air on two types I wanted to investigate further. The empty room filled with holograms of the suits. Once I had narrowed it down to a few I wanted to try on, Neesa went to the console. A moment later, the suits came out of the door beside the console. I took them into the changing room at the back and tried them on. The first two didn't work for me. But when I put on the third, I thought it was what I needed.
I walked out of the room and Neesa gasped.
"Do you think it's too much?" I asked.
"Oh, no. That's the one. If it doesn't drive Airik and every man around wild with lust, I don't know what swimsuit will."
"But I don't want to look like a slut."
"You'll see smaller suits than that, trust me. We spend so many months under wraps that once summer comes, people shed their clothes the way a cyx sheds its coat. The less clothing, the better. Small bathing suits aren't provocative here, not the way they would be on other planets."
"Are you sure?" I repeated, looking at myself in the mirror.
It was an emerald green bikini. There was nothing brash about it, but the triangles that covered my medium-sized round breasts were small. There was a fair amount of my globes left showing which made me uncomfortable, but a
lso made me feel excited and risque. The bottoms were barely there, riding midway between my navel and my sex. In the back, a fair amount of my butt was showing.
It wasn't that it was such a great bathing suit, but more that it looked so good on me. I felt like a sexy woman in it.
"I don't know if I can wear it in public," I said to Neesa.
"That's going to be one of the biggest suits you will see at that party. You're going to knock them dead."
"Okay," I said. "Now how about some sundresses?"
I hadn't expected Airik to dislike my new hairstyle. I liked it. From his grim expression, I knew he didn't feel the same way. I felt as if I had committed a horrendous crime instead of merely hacking off a few lengths of hair.
"It's just a haircut," I said defensively. "I think it looks cute."
"You are the wife of a high-ranking government official on the planet. Women on Koccoran don't wear their hair short."
"You're only worried about your job? Are you kidding me? I got a haircut, Airik. Deal with it."
"Quinn, this isn't just about my job. You don't understand. My career is important to me. I've been working towards this goal for my whole life. I have sacrificed everything to get here. I'm not going to throw it away because you're feeling ignored and throwing a tantrum."
I stared at him. My mouth opened in outrage. I couldn't believe he had the gall to belittle my feelings and pretend my concerns meant nothing.
"Your career means everything? Try talking to your career at the end of the day. I'm sure it will be an excellent listener. Or better yet, try sleeping with your career. Because you're not going to be sleeping with me. You don't care about me, and I don't want to be used for my body. The contract says I don't have to have sex with you unless we both consent. And I don't allow it any more."
"Quinn. You're turning this hair thing into a big fight. What are you upset about?" he said, looking annoyed.
A mirthless laugh escaped me.
"Do you think I'd tell you now?" I said, turning and going into the bathroom. I slammed the door in an attempt to relieve my feelings. It didn't help.
I walked over to the full-length mirror. My hair looked okay, didn't it? I hadn't been sure about cutting it. It used to reach down to my waist, and Airik loved it. By his reaction, he might have loved my hair more than he cared about me. I had worn my hair long all my life. And cutting it had made me more nervous than I had wanted to admit to Neesa.
