Lina took me by the wrist and brought my palm back to her heart. We kissed again and I pressed as close to her as I could.
"I want you," she stated simply and smiled against my lips. "And if the man from last night resurfaces again, I know how to deal with him. Still, Thomas, I know you're strong enough to keep him under control."
"So, you're not scared by what I can do to you?" I asked and helped her to lie down on her stomach so I could put more bandages on her bruised ass cheeks. "That one day I'll try to take advantage of your trust?"
"Thomas, you left me when I begged to be your slave and give up any personal autonomy." Lina turned around with a chuckle. "We made big mistakes but I'm learning to trust you."
That made me laugh and squeeze her thighs a little tighter while I was giving them a deep tissue massage. The warmth inside me was growing and it was different from the burning fever at The Fortress.
It felt good.
"So fucking crazy." I picked up the bottle of oil and poured generous doses of it over my palms. She arched her back and groaned when I spread the cool liquid down her skin and fondled her strong legs.
"Maybe that's why you fit me so well," she said with a purring voice. "You might be even crazier than me."
Half an hour later, we stood by the kitchen counter, drinking our second coffees of the day and snacking on some cheese and crackers. It was no longer the weekend so I allowed Lina the privilege of wearing clothes. She picked up my shirt from last night.
"It might be a cliché but you really wear that better than me." I laughed and pulled her closer into an embrace. She rolled her eyes, wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned in against me. The swells of her breasts brushed against my bare chest. Earlier, I'd thought I was too drained to fuck her again, but I was tempted to test my limits.
"So..." She withdrew and leaned against the counter. Her eyes suddenly grew more anxious and some tension appeared on her face. She took a longer sip of coffee. "Are we back together?"
I smiled. The answer was clear to me but I found it adorable that she was nervous about it. I hurried to ease her worries and took her in my arms.
"Should I ask you if you'll be my girlfriend to make it more official?" I chuckled and brushed my thumb across her bottom lip.
"Be serious, Thomas." She nudged me in the ribs and ran her palms along my back.
"Well, how do you feel?" I asked, and rested my hands on her healing ass cheeks.
"I feel we're at the beginning of something really good," Lina said, and brushed her fingers against my neck. She brought her lips close to mine and whispered, "I don't know what is it and if it's a good idea, but I need to give us another chance."
"I can't think of a reason why we shouldn't." I kissed her deeply and sucked her tongue into my mouth until she cried. How strange life was. On Saturday morning, the weekend had seemed like a death sentence to me, and only two days later I was thriving with hope. It scared me how insanely happy I was.
"We'll take it slow," I said in my best firm voice when we broke our kiss. Lina glowed at those words and tried to kiss me again. Naughty minx. I picked up her wrists and gathered them behind her back before I leaned over to whisper, "Both as a couple and as a Dom and sub. We have time to make this relationship work. Let's make the best of it. I want this to work."
She nodded and brought her face closer to mine.
"I don't think I can handle anything more serious. That's good enough for me, Thomas. We both have to fix our lives but I want us to do it together."
"Then it's settled." I bit her bottom lip and reached out to squeeze between her legs with a possessive grip. She winced but a minute later she looked like she'd start purring. "Mine."
Lina shivered and closed her eyes. The wicked grin was still lighting her features.
"You're bringing your inner caveman to the table?" She teased me.
I squeezed her thigh while I was holding her by the small of her waist, inclined her body and leaned over to kiss her.
"I don't know what will become of us, tigress, but you'll face a lot of punishment in the foreseeable future. I'm not sure that will make you behave better." My teeth left a small purple mark at the base of her neck.
We took a shower together, got dressed, and started packing. It was already way past six and I didn't want to drive in the dark. While we were cleaning up after ourselves, I couldn't help but feel a little melancholic. It was so easy to be happy on that cold, isolated beach, away from the world. All alone, naked, and dedicated to each other.
There was no reason to be apprehensive but it saddened me to get back to the real world.
"I'm going to miss this place," I murmured when we brought our suitcases to the front door. The cozy living room where we had left so many memories looked lonely.
Lina stood next to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. I kissed her temple and pulled her closer as I watched the unlit fireplace.
"You know," she started with some hesitation and ran her nails down my wrist. "I can give you a set of spare keys. If you ever need a place to escape..."
Well, that was truly unexpected. I put a finger under her chin and tilted it up to kiss her.
"I'm flattered, Lina, but that won't be necessary. Do you really think I could come here on my own?" My fingers tangled in her hair as I kissed her again. "I'd be missing someone very important."
Lina nodded with a small, distracted smile but then added seriously, "It'd still mean a lot to me if you accept them. Just so you know... my offer for you to come back to ChaosTech still stands. Whenever you decide, you're always welcome, in whatever position you choose."
Those words brought a shadow to my face. We were still there, in that magical place, and the real world was already reaching out with its deformed fingers. Why couldn't she understand?
"Lina, you know why I can never come back," I said, and looked at the darkening sky outside. It was time to leave but I didn't want to. Not yet. Still, the conversation made me feel uneasy. "No matter what people say, they'll always think of me as 'that guy who's fucking the boss and getting special treatment'. If we want to start over..." I stroked her cheek tenderly and she leaned into my palm. "We have to do it with a clean slate."
"I understand, but you can't let people's petty rumors and attitudes rule your life," Lina said in a soft, caring voice. Her eyes were tender and full of concern, and I knew she meant well. "You were great both as an engineer and manager. That's the most important thing. You know the boss is never a popular figure. If I had to get worked up over every time someone called me an emasculating bitch, I would get nothing done. Does it matter what a few people will say behind your back? You and I know what the truth is."
"Perhaps you're right, but do you realize something?" I sighed and hugged her harder. "This is the first time we've been free to date without hiding. I can walk down the street holding your hand. I can kiss you whenever I want and not fear someone might recognize us. If I go back to being your employee, the pressure of the workplace will take its toll. Let's enjoy being together."
Contrary to my expectations, Lina didn't try to argue. She nodded and hugged me again.
"I understand. I probably want too much. It's not fair. You deserve better."
"One wise woman told me once that nobody gets what they truly deserve." I smiled and kissed her again. "Let's go. I'm afraid we may end up spending the night."
"Oh? What would you do with me?" She smiled as we turned the lights off. "You have more energy after last night? I'll walk funny for the entire week."
"I was thinking something along the lines of a quiet, relaxing evening with my naked sub giving me a foot rub." I grinned and took our suitcases out the door.
Our trip back to the city went by almost without us realizing. We were lost in witty banter and just enjoyed our time together without any tension or anguish. I stopped once to load some fuel but we didn't repeat our steamy Saturday morning escapade in the bathroom. Lina was in a great mood and laughed a lot. I felt
pretty spirited myself even if part of me feared we were too happy.
When I stopped the car in front of her building, she turned to me with a sweet smile.
"Would you like to come upstairs? Just for a little drink? I have a sudden craving for hot chocolate."
I nodded and reached out to squeeze her hand.
"Just for an hour or so. I'm still feeling pretty tired. I'll need at least twelve hours sleep to recover."
"I feel the same way." She leaned on my shoulder and closed her eyes. "It'll be a long day tomorrow. I'd better get some rest but I don't want you to go just yet."
We'd promised each other we'd take it slowly but suddenly I felt nostalgic for the days when I lived in her apartment. Maybe someday...
Easy. One step at a time.
I thought it was strange to be back when we entered. True, when I lived here I was more of a caretaker rather than a lover. The memories of all those helpless nights and days rushed back as soon as I stepped in.
Lina prepared hot chocolate for both of us while I settled myself at the kitchen island.
"There are a few things I wanted to talk to you about."
The seductive scent of dark chocolate was putting my mind out of the ghosts of the not so distant past. I sighed.
Please, may it not be another bomb I have to wonder how to diffuse.
"I'm not sure I like the sound of that," I said, and took off my jacket.
"I figured it would be better to talk to you in here than in the car," Lina said and joined me at the island. I picked up my own cup and let its scent and warmth ease my mind a little. "Don't worry. It's nothing about us."
She sat down on the high stool next to me, and our knees brushed. Her finger drew a line on the edge of the cup.
"Come on. Now you're just being mean." I took a hot sip while waiting for Lina to gather her thoughts. "Just tell me. It can't be that bad."
"The first thing is about Nate. I..." Lina wrapped her fingers around the cup. "I'd like to stay friends with him, see him every now and then. You shouldn't worry. Our relationship was over the moment we left The Fortress."
I tensed. Allie had mentioned that Nate had visited her studio at least once. She was convinced he was a natural submissive so there was no reason for me to worry he wanted to win her back. Still...
"We grew very close and he's been a great support over the last two weeks. I promised him we wouldn't be strangers just because we're no longer together, and... I'd hate to kick him out of my life. It's a rough time for him and I'd feel like a bitch if I stopped seeing him because my life was getting better."
She reached out to hold my hand. Her face was tense, like the way she squeezed me in a tight grasp.
"Still, I don't want to go behind your back about it or feel like I'm betraying you somehow. I just want to do the right thing for everyone."
"Lina, I'm not jealous," I said and took her hands in mine. "Okay, I'm a little jealous but yesterday you put immense trust in me. I have to trust you too if we want this relationship to work. However, I'm not really sure about that guy."
She raised an eyebrow and frowned at my words.
"He can't stand between us, and even if he does..."
"That's not what concerns me, pet." I took a hold of her hands and caressed them. "The whole situation of how you two got together is shady as fuck. What are the odds that the same guy you kissed that night at the club happened to be at the same hotel as you during the conference? I don't believe in coincidences and he's just too... too neat, clean and perfect."
"Okay, I admit it. It was a little strange but it's not entirely impossible, Thomas," Lina said and pulled her hands away from me. She ran her fingers through her hair and took another sip of chocolate. "Fire club is a popular venue for the Silicone Valley. We both attended the same conference because we work in the same industry. Not everything is a conspiracy. Nate's just a friend. Besides, I suspect that Allie will soon sink her claws into him."
"I'm not sure I like that either. He worries me." I shrugged and drummed my fingers over my cup. "There's just something about him that doesn't sit right."
Lina sighed.
"I'm not going to give him power of attorney over my company, Thomas. All I'm going to do is go out with him for drinks or dinner sometimes. It'll never be a secret from you. Of course, if it's a big problem..."
"No." I nodded in reassurance even if doubts were nesting inside my mind. "I told you, I want to trust you. I know he's not a threat but just... be careful. It wouldn't hurt to be alert after all we've been through. I'm not too thrilled he'll be hanging around you but I can live with it."
"You'll always be a priority. You know that," she said and I believed her words. So why couldn't I get over that nagging doubt? The guy was harmless... or was he?
"Good." I gripped her thighs, pulled her closer and hiked her dress up. Lina gasped when my knee rested between her open legs and rubbed against her panties. "I trust that you're mine. I have nothing to prove to anyone. All I'm concerned about is that you're safe and well."
"That brings us to another point." She placed her hands on top of mine. "I'm going to ask to visit Seth and I want to do it all by myself."
My grasp on her thighs grew tighter.
"I'd be much calmer if I went with you," I said in a more tense way than I intended. "The idea of you and that asshole at the same room disturbs me. I don't want you to face him alone, especially after--"
Lina interrupted me and placed her hands on my shoulders. She looked scared but her voice didn't tremble.
"I know you're worried. I know you want to protect me. But you have to understand why it's important for me." She kissed me softly. "You helped me more than you realize over the weekend. This is my battle, though. When I face Seth Anderson, I don't want to hide behind my Dom. I don't want to use you as a crutch. You said it yourself. He can't hurt me anymore. I need to chase him from my mind for good."
Her words made too much sense and I felt proud of her. I knew she had come a long way from the scared, traumatized woman, too broken to walk out of her home without having a nervous breakdown.
"I know, but I really want to make sure you're always safe. It bothers me to think you might need me and that I won't be around."
"Something bad can always happen." She smiled. "That doesn't mean you should be personally responsible for it. You're my Dom but you can't keep me safe from every evil in the world. Listen, I'll call you before and after I see him, okay? I'll waltz in, kick his ass and walk out, and I'll never have to think of him or talk about him again. I must do it."
I nodded and kissed her lips again.
"Okay, just...if at any point you feel threatened or that he may be getting to you, walk out and call me as soon as you can. You might be facing him by yourself but I don't want you to feel alone."
"You know, I actually love when you get protective of me." She smirked and that made me roll my eyes.
"Just don't act in such a way that I'll have to prove my protective side, little one." I stroked her hair and tugged it gently back. "You know I have my way with bad girls."
We finished our hot chocolate and I got up, ready to leave. Lina stopped me and asked me to wait a bit longer. She walked out of the kitchen and said she'd be back in a minute.
What was that vixen up to now?
Once she returned, she held two objects in her hands. A set of keys and the beautiful red collar I'd bought for her.
Back when I gave it to her, I never thought I'd see it again. Seeing that little token of affection we never got to use made me strangely emotional.
"Please, keep them, Thomas." Lina placed the keys on my palm. "Even if you never get to use them, I'd like you to have them. Besides, who knows?" She smiled at me. "One of these days you may throw a special surprise for me there and you could use the keys."
"If it would make my pet happy." I smiled and wrapped my fingers around the metal.
"And this..." Lina handed me the collar. "Put it around my neck w
henever you are ready. It's too early now, I know. Whenever you decide you're ready, I'd be happy to accept your collar, Thomas. It's your call."
I stroked the leather between my fingers. Little did she suspect I wanted to collar her in that moment and take her home with me.
"Are you going to be ready for me once I make my choice, pet?"
"I trust you will choose the perfect moment, sir."
I did the last button of the blazer, took a step back and studied my reflection in the mirror. The red suit fitted me like a glove. The tight skirt showed enough of my legs, just an inch or so above the knees. It didn't make sense but wearing the outfit still filled me with confidence. When I was looking at the luscious color and slick fabric that didn't bring me memories of weakness and degradation.
Just like that day in the boardroom, the red suit was my personal armor.
No, it wasn't the exact same suit I was wearing on the night Seth abducted me. I had no idea what happened to my clothes that night. Maybe he cut them to pieces or the authorities kept them as evidence against him. During those first dark days after the assault, such details were the last thing on my mind.
I had it tailored for me while I was waiting to be added to Seth's visitor list in San Quentin. When I finally put it on the morning before my visit, I realized how little my appearance had changed. As if I was the same woman from the cold December day who had to fight for her job and life. Wasn't it amazing how easy it was to create a facade?
It just took a killer outfit, perfect pair of red pumps and ideal makeup.
I felt hot, immaculate and ready to strike.
For the first time, this facade didn't cover my insecurities and horror. They were still lingering but I had them in my grasp instead the other way around.
The temptation to finish the perfect portrait of a femme fatale with lips in a murderous red, and smoky eye shadow was really strong. Still, it would be a bad idea to show up to prison like that. So, I opted for pale pink lipstick and discreet makeup.
Unorthodox Chemistry Page 36
