The David Foster Wallace Reader

by David Foster Wallace

  [→NMN.80.418]

  Incarnations of Burned Children

  THE DADDY WAS around the side of the house hanging a door for the tenant when he heard the child’s screams and the Mommy’s voice gone high between them. He could move fast, and the back porch gave onto the kitchen, and before the screen door had banged shut behind him the Daddy had taken the scene in whole, the overturned pot on the floortile before the stove and the burner’s blue jet and the floor’s pool of water still steaming as its many arms extended, the toddler in his baggy diaper standing rigid with steam coming off his hair and his chest and shoulders scarlet and his eyes rolled up and mouth open very wide and seeming somehow separate from the sounds that issued, the Mommy down on one knee with the dishrag dabbing pointlessly at him and matching the screams with cries of her own, hysterical so she was almost frozen. Her one knee and the bare little soft feet were still in the steaming pool, and the Daddy’s first act was to take the child under the arms and lift him away from it and take him to the sink, where he threw out plates and struck the tap to let cold wellwater run over the boy’s feet while with his cupped hand he gathered and poured or flung more cold water over the head and shoulders and chest, wanting first to see the steam stop coming off him, the Mommy over his shoulder invoking God until he sent her for towels and gauze if they had it, the Daddy moving quickly and well and his man’s mind empty of everything but purpose, not yet aware of how smoothly he moved or that he’d ceased to hear the high screams because to hear them would freeze him and make impossible what had to be done to help his own child, whose screams were regular as breath and went on so long they’d become already a thing in the kitchen, something else to move quickly around. The tenant side’s door outside hung half off its top hinge and moved slightly in the wind, and a bird in the oak across the driveway appeared to observe the door with a cocked head as the cries still came from inside. The worst scalds seemed to be the right arm and shoulder, the chest and stomach’s red was fading to pink under the cold water and his feet’s soft soles weren’t blistered that the Daddy could see, but the toddler still made little fists and screamed except maybe now merely on reflex from fear, the Daddy would know he thought it possible later, small face distended and thready veins standing out at the temples and the Daddy kept saying he was here he was here, adrenaline ebbing and an anger at the Mommy for allowing this thing to happen just starting to gather in wisps at his mind’s extreme rear and still hours from expression. When the Mommy returned he wasn’t sure whether to wrap the child in a towel or not but he wet the towel down and did, swaddled him tight and lifted his baby out of the sink and set him on the kitchen table’s edge to soothe him while the Mommy tried to check the feet’s soles with one hand waving around in the area of her mouth and uttering objectless words while the Daddy bent in and was face to face with the child on the table’s checked edge repeating the fact that he was here and trying to calm the toddler’s cries but still the child breathlessly screamed, a high pure shining sound that could stop his heart and his bitty lips and gums now tinged with the light blue of a low flame the Daddy thought, screaming as if almost still under the tilted pot in pain. A minute, two like this that seemed much longer, with the Mommy at the Daddy’s side talking singsong at the child’s face and the lark on the limb with its head to the side and the hinge going white in a line from the weight of the canted door until the first seen wisp of steam came lazy from under the wrapped towel’s hem and the parents’ eyes met and widened—the diaper, which when they opened the towel and leaned their little boy back on the checkered cloth and unfastened the softened tabs and tried to remove it resisted slightly with new high cries and was hot, their baby’s diaper burned their hand and they saw where the real water’d fallen and pooled and been burning their baby boy all this time while he screamed for them to help him and they hadn’t, hadn’t thought and when they got it off and saw the state of what was there the Mommy said their God’s first name and grabbed the table to keep her feet while the father turned away and threw a haymaker at the air of the kitchen and cursed both himself and the world for not the last time while his child might now have been sleeping if not for the rate of his breathing and the tiny stricken motions of his hands in the air above where he lay, hands the size of a grown man’s thumb that had clutched the Daddy’s thumb in the crib while he’d watched the Daddy’s mouth move in song, his head cocked and seeming to see way past him into something his eyes made the Daddy lonesome for in a sideways way. If you’ve never wept and want to, have a child. Break your heart inside and something will a child is the twangy song the Daddy hears again as if the radio’s lady was almost there with him looking down at what they’ve done, though hours later what the Daddy most won’t forgive is how badly he wanted a cigarette right then as they diapered the child as best they could in gauze and two crossed handtowels and the Daddy lifted him like a newborn with his skull in one palm and ran him out to the hot truck and burned custom rubber all the way to town and the clinic’s ER with the tenant’s door hanging open like that all day until the hinge gave but by then it was too late, when it wouldn’t stop and they couldn’t make it the child had learned to leave himself and watch the whole rest unfold from a point overhead, and whatever was lost never thenceforth mattered, and the child’s body expanded and walked about and drew pay and lived its life untenanted, a thing among things, its self’s soul so much vapor aloft, falling as rain and then rising, the sun up and down like a yoyo.

  Afterword

  I first read this story in December 2000, a time when the name David Foster Wallace was synonymous with maximalist and encyclopedic texts. After Infinite Jest and everything of his I’d read subsequently, “Incarnations of Burned Children” made me reevaluate the Wallace I thought I knew.

  This is now one of a handful of Wallace pieces I regularly give to people when I’m asked who my favorite author is. I use it to introduce friends to his fiction, and I use it to teach short narrative to my high school English students. I’ve found that it always inspires intensely interesting conversations, whether the reader enjoys the story or not.

  Why is “Incarnations of Burned Children” essential Wallace fiction? It is Wallace at his minimalist best, a single, hyper-compressed paragraph. As each sentence increases in length and tension, Wallace’s amazing control of syntax feeds the narrative’s pacing perfectly. It is an adept exploration of empathy, trauma, and taboo, and uses symbolism and narrative distance to powerful ends. Wallace succeeds in delivering to the reader what it is like to be the incarnation of a burned child, viewing the world at a distance, without judgment, conscious of everything yet far from the excruciating pain of it all. It is the most tense and horrific piece of writing I have read. It is also one of the finest.

  (Fun fact: an early version of this story was part of some of the earliest work on The Pale King. Numerous characters in that novel experience some sort of childhood trauma that gives them unique abilities as adults. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which character this burned child may have grown up to be…)

  —Nick Maniatis

  The Suffering Channel

  1.

  ‘BUT THEY’RE SHIT.’

  ‘And yet at the same time they’re art. Exquisite pieces of art. They’re literally incredible.’

  ‘No, they’re literally shit is literally what they are.’

  Atwater was speaking to his associate editor at Style. He was at the little twin set of payphones in the hallway off the Holiday Inn restaurant where he’d taken the Moltkes out to eat and expand their side of the whole pitch. The hallway led to the first floor’s elevators and restrooms and to the restaurant’s kitchen and rear area.

  At Style, editor was more of an executive title. Those who did actual editing were usually called associate editors. This was a convention throughout the BSG subindustry.

  ‘If you could just see them.’

  ‘I don’t want to see them,’ the associate editor responded. ‘I don’t want to look at sh
it. Nobody wants to look at shit. Skip, this is the point: people do not want to look at shit.’

  ‘And yet if you—’

  ‘Even shit shaped into various likenesses or miniatures or whatever it is they’re alleging they are.’

  Skip Atwater’s intern, Laurel Manderley, was listening in on the whole two way conversation. It was she whom Atwater’d originally dialed, since there was simply no way he was going to call the associate editor’s head intern’s extension on a Sunday and ask her to accept a collect call. Style’s whole editorial staff was in over the weekend because the magazine’s Summer Entertainment double issue was booked to close on 2 July. It was a busy and extremely high stress time, as Laurel Manderley would point out to Skip more than once in the subsequent debriefing.

  ‘No, no, but not shaped into, is the thing. You aren’t—they come out that way. Already fully formed. Hence the term incredible.’ Atwater was a plump diminutive boy faced man who sometimes unconsciously made a waist level fist and moved it up and down in time to his stressed syllables. A small and bell shaped Style salaryman, energetic and competent, a team player, unfailingly polite. Sometimes a bit overfastidious in presentation—for example, it was extremely warm and close in the little Holiday Inn hallway, and yet Atwater had not removed his blazer or even loosened his tie. The word among some of Style’s snarkier interns was that Skip Atwater resembled a jockey who had retired young and broken training in a big way. There was doubt in some quarters about whether he even shaved. Sensitive about the whole baby face issue, as well as about the size and floridity of his ears, Atwater was unaware of his reputation for wearing nearly identical navy blazer and catalogue slacks ensembles all the time, which happened to be the number one thing that betrayed his Midwest origins to those interns who knew anything about cultural geography.

  The associate editor wore a headset telephone and was engaged in certain other editorial tasks at the same time he was talking to Atwater. He was a large bluff bearish man, extremely cynical and fun to be around, as magazine editors often tend to be, and known particularly for being able to type two totally different things at the same time, a keyboard under each hand, and to have them both come out more or less error free. Style’s editorial interns found this bimanual talent fascinating, and they often pressed the associate editor’s head intern to get him to do it during the short but very intense celebrations that took place after certain issues had closed and everyone had had some drinks and the normal constraints of rank and deportment were relaxed a bit. The associate editor had a daughter at Rye Country Day School, where a number of Style’s editorial interns had also gone, as adolescents. The typing talent thing was also interesting because the associate editor had never actually written for Style or anyone else—he had come up through Factchecking, which was technically a division of Legal and answered to a whole different section of Style’s parent company. In any event, the doubletime typing explained the surfeit of clicking sounds in the background as the associate editor responded to a pitch he found irksome and out of character for Atwater, who was normally a consummate pro, and knew quite well the shape of the terrain that Style’s WHAT IN THE WORLD feature covered, and had no history of instability or substance issues, and rarely even needed much rewriting.

  The editorial exchange between the two men was actually very rapid and clipped and terse. The associate editor was saying: ‘Which think about it, you’re going to represent how? You’re going to propose we get photos of the man on the throne, producing? You’re going to describe it?’

  ‘Everything you’re saying is valid and understandable and yet all I’m saying is if you could see the results. The pieces themselves.’ The two payphones had a woodgrain frame with a kind of stiff steel umbilicus for the phone book. Atwater had claimed that he could not use his own phone because once you got far enough south of Indianapolis and Richmond there were not enough cellular relays to produce a reliable signal. Due to the glass doors and no direct AC, it was probably close to 100 degrees in the little passage, and also loud—the kitchen was clearly on the other side of the wall, because there was a great deal of audible clatter and shouting. Atwater had worked in a 24 hour restaurant attached to a Union 76 Truck ’n Travel Plaza while majoring in journalism at Ball State, and he knew the sounds of a short order kitchen. The name of the restaurant in Muncie had been simply: EAT. Atwater was facing away from everything and more or less concave, hunched into himself and the space of the phone, as people on payphones in public spaces so often are. His fist moved just below the little shelf where the slim GTE directory for Whitcomb–Mount Carmel–Scipio and surrounding communities rested. The technical name of the Holiday Inn’s restaurant, according to the sign and menus, was Ye Olde Country Buffet. Hard to his left, an older couple was trying to get a great deal of luggage through the hallway’s glass doors. It was only a matter of time before they figured out that one should just go through and hold the doors open for the other. It was early in the afternoon of 1 July 2001. You could also hear the associate editor sometimes talking to someone else in his office, which wasn’t necessarily his fault or a way to marginalize Atwater, because other people were always coming in and asking him things.

  A short time later, after splashing some cold water on his ears and face in the men’s room, Atwater reemerged through the hallway’s smeared doors and made his way through the crowds around the restaurant’s buffet table. He had also used the sink’s mirror to pump himself up a little—periods of self exhortation at mirrors were usually the only time he was fully conscious of the thing that he did with his fist. There were red heat lamps over many of the buffet’s entrees, and a man in a partly crumpled chef’s hat was slicing prime rib to people’s individual specs. The large room smelled powerfully of bodies and hot food. Everyone’s face shone in the humidity. Atwater had a short man’s emphatic, shoulder inflected walk. Many of the Sunday diners were elderly and wore special sunglasses with side flaps, the inventor of whom was possibly ripe for a WITW profile. Nor does one hardly ever see actual flypaper anymore. Their table was almost all the way in front. Even across the crowded dining room it was not hard to spot them seated there, due to the artist’s wife, Mrs. Moltke, whose great blond head’s crown was nearly even with the hostess’s lectern. Atwater used the head as a salient to navigate the room, his own ears and forehead flushed with high speed thought. Back at Style’s editorial offices on the sixteenth floor of 1 World Trade Center in New York, meanwhile, the associate editor was speaking with his head intern on the intercom while he typed internal emails. Mr. Brint Moltke, the proposed piece’s subject, was smiling fixedly at his spouse, possibly in response to some remark. His entree was virtually untouched. Mrs. Moltke was removing mayo or dressing from the corner of her mouth with a pinkie and met Atwater’s eye as he raised both arms:

  ‘They’re very excited.’

  Part of the reason Atwater had had to splash and self exhort in the airless little men’s room off the Holiday Inn restaurant was that the toll call had actually continued for several more minutes after the journalist had said ‘… pieces themselves,’ and had become almost heated at the same time that it didn’t really go anywhere or modify either side of the argument, except that the associate editor subsequently observed to his head intern that Skip seemed to be taking the whole strange thing more to heart than was normal in such a consummate pro.

  ‘I do good work. I find it and I do it.’

  ‘This is not about you or whether you could bring it in well,’ the associate editor had said. ‘This is simply me delivering news to you about what can happen and what can’t.’

  ‘I seem to recollect somebody once saying no way the parrot could ever happen.’ Here Atwater was referring to a prior piece he’d done for Style.

  ‘You’re construing this as an argument about me and you. What this is really about is shit. Excrement. Human shit. It’s very simple: Style does not run items about human shit.’

  ‘But it’s also art.’

 
; ‘But it’s also shit. And you’re already tasked to Chicago for something else we’re letting you look at because you pitched me, that’s already dubious in terms of the sorts of things we can do. Correct me if I’m mistaken here.’