by Elle James
Outside, he walked toward the barn, enjoying the brisk morning air. He didn’t mind the cold. He could always dress warmer. When he’d been in the Iraqi desert, he could never seem to get cool enough.
When he opened the barn door, he thought someone had left the lights on—until he heard someone mucking straw out of a stall.
One by one, he passed stalls until he came to the one where someone was flinging soiled straw and horse manure into a wheelbarrow.
“You’re up early,” he said.
The person straightened and turned.
Colin laughed when he realized it was Emily. “Couldn’t sleep, either?”
She smiled. “All I could think about was you standing naked in the starlight.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “That wasn’t a fair parting shot.”
He took the pitchfork from her and leaned it against the stall wall. Then he pulled her into his arms and held her there. “What are we going to do about us?”
She sighed and leaned into him. “I don’t know. But how can you stand to hold me when I smell like horse manure?”
“I’ve never smelled anything nicer.” He brushed straw from her hair and kissed the tip of her nose.
“I’m a recent widow. I shouldn’t be fooling around with another man so soon after Alex’s passing.” She stood on her toes and kissed him back. “But I can’t seem to help myself.”
“Who said that after your spouse’s death you had to grieve for the rest of your life? And who’s making the rules about the length of time?” He shook his head. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my time on the Marine Force Reconnaissance team, it’s that life is too short to waste a single moment worrying about what others think.” He kissed her again, and then just held her in his arms, loving every second her body pressed against his. “I could do this for the rest of my life.”
She snorted. “Shovel horse manure?”
“Well, maybe.” He leaned back and gazed into her smiling face. “But holding you would come in a close second. I like it when you smile.”
Her smile faded. “I like having more reasons to smile.”
“We’ll find out who’s giving you grief and set him straight. Then you can get on with the task of living life to the fullest.” He hugged her again then set her aside. “Ready for me to dump that wheelbarrow?”
She nodded. “I thought you’d never ask.”
He unloaded the wheelbarrow in the dung heap behind the barn and returned to help her finish up the stall she’d been working on. Then they fed the horses, pigs and chickens before they returned to the house.
Yeah, he could get used to living in Montana again. He loved the feeling of a good, hard day’s work and knowing the animals were well cared for and the ranch was in good shape.
Mostly, he liked the idea of coming home every evening to the woman he loved.
He had nine months left on his current enlistment. Would Emily wait around until he completed his obligation? Last night, she’d said she didn’t want to talk about the future. Had she meant she didn’t want to talk just last night? Or was she going to stretch it out a little longer?
He wasn’t sure, but he wouldn’t wait too much longer before he asked her what her plans were for the rest of her life.
His mother was cooking breakfast in the kitchen when they walked through the back door.
Angus stood at the coffee maker, pouring a cup.
“Don’t drink it all,” Sebastian said, as he entered the room and crossed immediately to the cabinet with the coffee mugs.
“You two ready for some breakfast?” his mother asked.
Emily smiled at her. “I’m too much of a mess to sit at the table.”
“Emily and I took care of the animals,” Colin explained. “We’ll be down to help after we clean up.”
“Lookin’ tired, bro.” Sebastian said as he took Angus’s place at the coffeemaker and poured a cup of the fragrant brew. He turned with a grin. “Get much sleep last night?”
Emily’s cheeks blossomed a bright pink.
“You do realize your bed has always had a squeaky spring in it, don’t you?” Angus said.
“I’ll just be going,” Emily said, her face flaming.
“You boys leave your brother alone,” their mother said, waving her spatula at his brothers. “You’re being rude in front of our guest.”
Emily gave her a weak smile and made a hasty exit out of the kitchen.
“Thanks,” Colin said, his tone dripping sarcasm. “Remind me to return the favor in front of your significant others.” He raised his eyebrows. “Oh, wait. Sebastian doesn’t have a significant other.”
“Only because I choose to play the field.”
“Because no woman would put up with your bullshit,” Colin pointed out.
“Language,” his mother said in her sternest voice.
“Are you telling us you have a significant other?” Angus asked, pinning Colin’s gaze with a direct one of his own.
“Maybe.” Colin hated to say anything until he knew for certain Emily felt the same.
His mother turned to him with a smile spreading across her face. “Are you and Emily finally getting together?”
“Getting?” Sebastian snorted. “I’d say got, if the squeaky bedspring had anything to say.”
Colin raised a hand, glaring at his brothers. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” Sebastian gave his best wide-eyed innocent look.
“I care about Emily,” Colin said. He wasn’t ready to admit to his brother and mother just how much he cared. “She’s been through some rough times.”
“She has indeed.” His mother touched his arm. “I really hope she comes around to you. I always saw her as one of us. She’s family, and you two belong together. I don’t know why you let Alex steal her away from you. They weren’t right for each other.”
He patted his mother’s hand on his arm. “I’m glad you think that way. I don’t know what’s in our future, but I’ll do my best not to screw it up this time.”
She reached up and patted his face. “I just want to see you happy. And I love Emily like a daughter. I want to see her happy as well.”
The telephone on the counter rang.
His mother turned to answer. “Hello.” She listened, a frown forming on her brow. “Yes, of course. I’ll let them know.”
Before his mother completed her call, Colin’s cellphone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and noted the call was from Sheriff Barron. “Colin McKinnon here.”
“This is Sheriff Barron. Roy Keats is conscious and wants to see you and Emily at the hospital. He said he has information that might help you find the person who paid him to torch your house. I’m headed there as soon as I check into the office.”
“We’ll be there in an hour.”
The sheriff ended the call.
“Who was that?” his mother asked.
“Sheriff Barron. He said Roy, the guy who attacked Emily and her house, wants to see us. He’s ready to talk.”
“That’s good news.” She turned to Angus and Sebastian. “I just got off the phone with Craig Brantley, a trophy outfitter out of Bozeman. He said a couple of his hunters found a campsite on the other side of Target Rock that might be of interest to our search for your father.”
The brothers straightened, their expressions serious.
“How so?” Angus asked.
“They found your father’s rancher co-op card in the dust around the circle of rocks.” She pressed her fingers to her lips. “He always kept that co-op card in his wallet.”
“Are they going to show us where they found the campsite?” Angus asked.
She shook her head. “He’s going to send you a text with the GPS coordinates and a photo of the card exactly how they found it. I gave him Angus’s cellphone number.”
“That’s a good fifteen or twenty miles by dirt road to get back in there,” Angus said, looking at his phone.
Sebastian took the phone from his mother. “I’l
l let Duncan know.”
“We can load some horses into a trailer and take them as far as we can by road, and then ride from there.”
“I’m going with you,” Colin said.
Angus shook his head. “You need to go to Bozeman. Sheriff Barron will be expecting you.”
“It can wait,” Colin grimaced, wishing he could be in two places at one time.
“You know if you don’t take Emily, she’ll go without you,” Sebastian said.
“He’s right,” their mother said. “You need to go to Bozeman. Emily needs you.”
“Our father needs me, too.”
“Your three brothers can check out the lead,” his mother insisted.
“And I’m going with the boys.” Molly entered the kitchen. Her gaze shifted from her mother to Angus and Sebastian. “What lead are we checking out?”
“We’ll fill you in,” Sebastian said.
“No, she needs to stay with Mom and Brenna.” Angus shook his head at Sebastian. “Especially if you’re coming with us.”
“You’re not leaving me behind,” Sebastian said.
Molly crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh, right, but you can leave me behind.”
Colin’s mother pointed her spatula at Sebastian and Angus. “You two and Duncan will go to Target Peak.” She pointed to Molly. “You’ll stay to provide backup for me and Brenna. And Colin,” her spatula aimed at him, “you need to go with Emily.”
“Face it, Colin,” Sebastian grinned. “You heard the boss.”
Colin was torn. He’d come home to help find his father. His brothers would converge on the campsite and leave no stone unturned in their efforts to find their father.
Emily, on the other hand, had no one but him. And she was as important to Colin as his father. He nodded. “I’ll go with Emily. But you have to promise to let me know where you are. If we get done early, we’ll head your way.”
“Unless you can read smoke signals, I doubt we’ll be able to get word out to you,” Angus said.
“Besides,” Sebastian said, “it’ll take us as long to get out there as it’ll take you to get to Bozeman.”
“You know we’ll report back as soon as possible,” Molly said.
Colin’s gaze swept around his family. “You know I want to be there.”
“We do,” Angus said. “But Emily needs you, too. Go.”
Colin nodded, kissed his mother’s cheek and sprinted up the stairs to the bathroom.
Emily was just stepping out, wearing clean jeans and a powder blue sweater. “It’s all yours,” she said.
He gripped her arms, kissed her hard then stepped around her and entered the bathroom.
Emily laughed. “What was that for?”
“Because,” he said and closed the door. Minutes later, he was out, wrapped in a towel, crossing the hallway to his room. He was dressed and pulling on his boots when Emily appeared in his doorway. “Ready?”
Colin nodded and straightened. “Sheriff Barron called. Roy’s conscious and ready to talk.”
“Good,” she said. “Let’s go.”
Colin prayed they weren’t wasting their time going all the way back to Bozeman, while his siblings could be chasing a substantial lead regarding his father’s whereabouts.
Chapter 14
Emily stopped by her bedroom and poked her head in the door once more before they left the house.
“Promise me you won’t go anywhere without a backup.”
Brenna held up her hand. “I promise.” She frowned. “You’re the one who needs to be careful in Bozeman. Don’t let anyone run you over or push you off the road.”
Emily grinned. “I’ll be with Colin.”
“Like you were last night?” Brenna’s eyebrows lifted in challenge.
Emily’s cheeks heated. “Busted.”
“We’re talking later,” Brenna warned.
“Fine. Just be careful. I love you.” Emily hurried down the stairs to where Colin waited for her at the front door.
Once in the truck, they settled in for the long drive into Bozeman. Emily sat silently, hoping Colin wouldn’t bring up what had happened the night before. Everything about the night was still fresh and new. She wasn’t sure what she was feeling and where they were going from there.
Colin had his career in the military.
Emily had her life in Eagle Rock. After Alex’s death, she’d applied to teach at the local elementary school. She was due to start at the beginning of the next semester.
She’d quit teaching when she and Alex had decided to try to have a baby, thinking the stress was making it hard for her to get pregnant.
Now, with no baby and no husband, she knew she would have to go back to work soon. Sitting around an empty house couldn’t be healthy.
“Are we going to talk about what happened?” Colin asked, breaking into Emily’s thoughts.
She wrinkled her nose. “Do we have to?”
“I think we do,” he said. “I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here. I have another two weeks of leave, and I could probably apply to extend it if we haven’t found our father by then. But eventually, I have to go back to my duty station.”
Emily nodded. The thought of Colin leaving made her chest tighten and her stomach knot. It was his job. He had to go.
“My enlistment is up in nine months. I’ve got ten years in. That’s halfway to twenty and retirement.”
Emily frowned. “What are you saying? Are you telling me you’re going to reenlist to finish out your twenty?”
He shook his head. “I’m saying that any more than ten years in, I might as well stay for twenty and collect retirement. Ten years is a good place to decide whether to stay or cut loose.”
“What do you want to do?” Emily asked.
Colin stared at the road ahead. “I’m not going to lie to you, Emily. I love being a part of the military. My brothers in arms are just that...brothers.” He glanced her way.
“But?” she prompted.
He looked back at the road. “But I’ve always had one regret.” Colin paused, then added. “You.”
“I don’t want to be your regret, Colin,” she said. “If you love the military, you made the right choice.”
“I regret that I didn’t fight for you. I bowed out when Alex asked you to marry him. You always said you’d never marry a military man. Not after watching your mother die of a broken heart.”
“She died of cancer.”
“And a broken heart. If she hadn’t lost your father, she might have fought harder to live.”
Emily nodded. “I admit, I was afraid to love a military man. I was afraid to give my heart to someone who willingly put himself in harm’s way. I was wrong. I didn’t realize I’d already given my heart away. It didn’t become clear until after I’d married Alex.” She bent her head and stared at her hands in her lap. “He knew before I did.”
Colin’s foot left the accelerator. “Knew what?”
“You know what.”
“No,” he said. “Humor me and spell it out.”
She twisted her hands in her lap. “I’d given my heart to you, Colin. There. Are you happy?” She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. “One kiss. That’s all it took, and I was head over heels. But you were my first love. I didn’t know that’s what it was. I’d never felt anything so profound. I was scared.”
“And now?” he asked quietly.
Emily drew in a deep breath and let it out again. “I’m still scared.”
He reached for her hand and held it in his, driving with the other. “I never meant to scare you, Emily.”
“You didn’t have to,” she said with a grimace. “I’m learning that I was scared of my own feelings.”
He squeezed her hand and let go, steering around a curve with both hands. “Where does that leave us?” he asked. “If you want, I can quit the military and come home to Iron Horse Ranch. But I can’t quit for another eight months. I have to finish my commitment.”
Emily shook h
er head. “I don’t want you to do anything. The Marine Corps is your life.”
“It has been, but it’s been lonely. I don’t want to lose you a second time. If it means giving up the Marines, I’ll do it. Just not until my enlistment is up.”
Emily smiled at him. “You’d do that for me?”
He nodded. “I would.”
She shook her head. “No.”
Colin frowned. “No?”
“No,” she repeated. “You can’t quit the military. It’s part of who you are.”
“I’ll have to get out eventually,” he reminded her.
“Until then, you need to stay the course.”
“But what about what you want?” he asked.
“I admit, last night was amazing,” she said.
“But?” he prompted.
“But, I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to anything. I married Alex for all the wrong reasons and made him and myself miserable.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to make the same mistake. I couldn’t bear to make you miserable.”
“I’d be happily miserable, as long as I was with you.” He smiled and winked.
“You’re going to be here until you find your father or two more weeks, whichever comes sooner, right?”
“I am,” Colin replied.
“Give me time. I don’t want to commit to anything based on great sex.”
“It was pretty great, wasn’t it?”
She nodded, her cheeks heating. In all the years she’d been married to Alex, their lovemaking had never been as incredibly passionate nor satisfying.
“I’ve been with other women, but it never felt like it did last night,” Colin said. “It makes all the difference, when you’re with the right person.”
He was right.
And, once again, she was scared. The intensity of her feelings was such that she couldn’t imagine life without Colin in it. But what if she had to face life without him in it because he was killed in battle?
Hell, Alex had proved there were no guarantees that one would live to old age. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t joined the military. He’d met an untimely demise in the civilian world.
Still, Emily wasn’t ready to hand over her heart. The thought of saying “I love you” made her head spin and her palms sweat. “I need time.”
