‘You know it is,’ his father said. ‘You’ve fed me often enough when your mother has had her fill of me. So we’ll see you later, unless you’ve made friends with Emma again in the meantime.’
As if! Glenn thought bleakly. Emma brought out all his protective instincts one moment and the next stirred the heat of desire in him, and he wasn’t getting any of it right.
When his father had gone Glenn left what he’d been doing and went for a brisk walk in the winter afternoon. He met Alex, doing the same thing. When he saw him Alex hailed him in his usual friendly manner and Glenn said, ‘Are you looking forward to spending New Year in Glenminster?’
‘You bet I am,’ Alex said. ‘I’ve wanted that for years. I was never able to come back to my roots until my wife passed away. I always had many precious memories of this place but it isn’t the same as actually being here.’
‘And I’m just the opposite,’ Glenn told him. ‘My memories are all in a faraway place and the last of them is not good.’
Having turned the screw on his heartstrings once again, Glenn went on his way with the thought that, like Alex, Emma was delighted to be back in their homeland, despite the gloomy nature of her return.
* * *
Unlike the two men, Emma was huddled beside the fire in her dismal sitting room with no inclination to move. The phone rang and Lydia’s bright and cheerful voice came over the line.
‘How are you fixed for coming to join me and mine for supper this evening?’ she asked, and into the silence that followed she continued, ‘I have visitors with me, relatives on holiday from Canada who have called unexpectedly, and I could do with some support.’
‘Er...yes, I’m free tonight,’ Emma told her reluctantly. ‘What time do you want me there?’
‘Seven o’clock, if that’s all right,’ Lydia replied.
‘Yes, no problem,’ she agreed, trying to sound enthusiastic.
When Lydia went on to say that she’d been trying to get in touch with Glenn to invite him round to give the occasion some support it was a relief for Emma to hear that she hadn’t been able to contact him. The events of earlier in the day were still like a knife thrust in her heart.
Asked if she’d seen anything of Glenn, it hurt to admit that they’d met briefly at midday, but she had no idea what his plans were for the rest of it. With a sinking feeling inside she said goodbye to her friend and wondered where she was going to find the zest to socialise with Lydia’s relatives.
CHAPTER SEVEN
WHEN GLENN RETURNED from his cheerless walk he found a message from Lydia awaiting him, and his reaction to it was the same as Emma’s. The last thing he wanted to do was chat to strangers but Lydia was a tower of strength at the practice and a good friend so he didn’t want to let her down.
The least he could do was help her to entertain her visitors and if Emma was there it would be a bonus. Even if she didn’t want to have anything to do with him, just to be able to see her would help to lessen the nightmare he had managed to create for himself in the season of goodwill.
* * *
Emma was the first person Glenn saw when he arrived at Lydia’s home. She was looking pale but composed with a wintry smile for him when he greeted her, which was in keeping with the weather outside and the misery he was experiencing inside being near her again.
What had she done with the ring? he wondered. She’d put it with the rubbish in the waste bin most likely. Someone at the waste-disposal place might get a pleasant surprise, and if they did, good for them, as Glenn didn’t want to see a reminder of his big mistake ever again.
He hoped and prayed that Emma wouldn’t do a disappearing act again, as she’d done after Jeremy’s hurtful treatment of her. He needed to be able to see her at the practice and around the place like he needed to breathe.
* * *
The Canadians were a pleasant lot, easy to get on with, and as the night progressed with a buffet that Lydia had arranged and lots of chatter Emma began to relax. At least the evening was proving to be a good opportunity for her to meet up with Glenn before seeing him at the practice when Christmas was over.
They had both walked the short distance to Lydia’s house, thinking that driving wasn’t a good idea if the wine was going to be flowing. At the first opportunity Glenn said to her in a low voice, ‘No walking home alone, Emma. If you don’t want me around, ring for a taxi.’
Emma nodded mutely as tiredness lay upon her like a heavy shawl after the day’s events. There was no chance that she was going to opt for walking anywhere, she decided, and hoped that Lydia’s guests might be feeling the same, having travelled quite some distance to see their hostess.
Yet it was midnight before the party was over and, doing as Glenn had suggested, Emma rang for a taxi. As it was the festive season there were long queues and it was going to be some time before her request was dealt with.
Glenn was observing her expression and guessed what the problem was. As they said goodbye to Lydia and her guests and went out into the night beneath a star-filled sky he said, ‘You’re going to have to let me walk you home, Emma.’
‘I’ll be fine on my own,’ she told him flatly, and almost tripped over a tree root outside the house, but he caught her as she fell. As Glenn looked down at her in the circle of his arms he said, ‘If you don’t want me at your side on the way home I will be just a few paces behind you until you put the key in the door of your house. I will only leave you when you are safe inside. We still don’t know the identity of the person who seems to have an endless supply of cream roses.’
As they set off, with Glenn walking a few paces behind, as promised, he said, ‘There must have been other men in your mother’s life, like the man who fathered you, for instance, and then disappeared.’
‘If there were I never knew about them because I always thought that Jeremy was my father,’ Emma said bleakly. ‘And I had no reason to question it until that awful night when he put me straight and made me feel so unwanted.’
Glenn ached to hold her close, wanted to cradle her to him instead of bringing up the rear, but after the dreadful mistake he’d made in showing Emma the ring and telling her she could only expect to be second best, hoping she could cope with that, he’d known that he had blown it with her. And rightly so, as far as she was concerned.
Glenn had said what he had because of the dread of not making Emma as happy, as she deserved, because in the dark corners of his mind there was always the memory of what had happened to Serena making him slow to make another commitment that he might fall down on. And yet it was Emma who was always the centre of his imaginings.
* * *
When they stopped at Emma’s door she put the key in the lock and said meaningfully, ‘You’ve seen me home safely, Glenn, and now my key is in the door.’ She added, as it swung back on its hinges, ‘So the only thing left to say is...goodnight!’
‘Yes, all right, I get the message,’ he said levelly. ‘I just wanted to be honest with you, Emma, that’s all.’ He was striding off into the dark night when she called him back. When he turned round, Emma was standing holding the box, which she’d taken out of the drawer in the hall. ‘You will need this when you find someone willing to accept second best,’ she said tautly, giving it back to him. And as Glenn looked down at it bleakly, lying on the palm of his hand, the door was closed against him and Emma was walking slowly up the stairs to her lonely bed.
* * *
It was New Year’s Eve and Emma was greeting the occasion with little enthusiasm. She had nothing planned and was intending to spend it alone in any case when the phone rang. It was Glenn’s mother, to ask whether, if she wasn’t booked to go anywhere, she would like to join them for supper as they welcomed in another year on the calendar.
When Olivia said that there would be just the three of them there—Jonas, Glenn and herself�
�the vision of Glenn insisting on her not going home alone came once again and she excused herself by pleading a headache and having an early night.
It didn’t get her far. Olivia must have reported their conversation because minutes later Glenn was on the line, wanting to know if she had any medication for the headache, and if she didn’t could he bring something round?
‘I’ll be fine,’ she told him. ‘I’m hugging a hot-water bottle and expect to be asleep in moments.’ She knew that if he came round, and doctor that he was guessed that there was nothing wrong with her, it would be very hurtful for his parents. She liked them both a lot and didn’t want to upset them.
‘All right,’ Glenn said. ‘I don’t expect you would have wanted to come in any case, but my parents aren’t aware that we are not communicating so you will have to make allowances for them. They both set great store with the coming of a new year and are disappointed that you won’t be there to share the moment with us. As far as the headache goes, if it starts to give you any problems I’ll come round—as a doctor, of course,’ was his parting comment, which left her feeling even more miserable.
* * *
Once the New Year was firmly established Emma didn’t see much of anyone socially, except for Alex, who seemed to be the most agile out-and-about person amongst those who lived nearby. Emma had the feeling that the wanderer who had returned to Glenminster couldn’t settle in his gracious house so she invited him round for coffee a couple of times.
Alex was an interesting person to talk to and she could imagine him being a loving father if ever he’d been blessed with children. Glenn would too, she mused ruefully. He had all the time in the world for the little ones who were brought to the practice by their parents with childish ailments.
Emma’s closeness with Glenn had died after the business of the ill-fated proposal and although the days went by in a flash, the nights were long and lonely.
There had been a few viewers interested in her house. She had to show them round at weekends as her weekdays were swallowed up by the demands of her job. But she had received no offers for it so far. With the idea of living next door to Glenn no longer in her mind, she wasn’t pushing for anything in particular yet she was still leaving her property on the market as daylight hours were becoming longer and Easter was on the calendar. Soon those who sought a change of residence would be out and about.
Glenn observed her from a distance. At the practice Emma was still a dedicated doctor, putting her patients before anything else, but on the rare occasions when he saw her out of hours she had little to say and looked pale and remote. So much so that he wondered how long he could stand having to live with the evidence of how much he had hurt her.
Glenn cringed every time he thought back to his blundering proposal. It now seemed arrogant and hurtful, like a request for the best of both worlds. It also registered that she was seeing more of Alex Mowbray than him when she was away from the practice.
Yet Glenn was aware that sometimes young, insecure women often turned to older men for comfort and reassurance. Although the way that Emma had sent him packing didn’t exactly indicate insecurity, more like outrage if anything.
The house next door to Glenn had been sold, but the board outside hers indicated no buyers as yet. Right now he would give anything for Emma to live near if he couldn’t have her with him.
Flowers were still being placed on her mother’s grave by an unknown hand and it seemed as if Emma was accepting the fact without further questioning. It was as if she was past caring. But Glenn wasn’t prepared to let it rest at that. It was spooky and required an answer for Emma’s sake, but short of him camping out in the churchyard it was almost as if the unknown visitor knew when to visit the grave and when not to.
And for Emma, who was all alone in the world—or at least didn’t appear to have any other family—Glenn felt that if only he could bring a feeling of belonging into her life he would have done something to make up for his own lack of commitment.
Glenn was beginning to think of Serena less and Emma more but maybe that was because of the situation he found himself in: wanting Emma but afraid to give his heart to her completely and betray his love for his wife that he carried like a sacred torch.
There was one occasion when the flame of their attraction was ignited to fever pitch when Emma had driven to a hotel in the Gloucestershire hills to relieve the boredom of an empty weekend and Glenn was out walking with rucksack and walking boots for the same reason.
Easter would soon be upon them and with the awakening of plants and flowers and a pale sun above, the day had brought out those, like themselves, who loved the countryside.
Emma was about to order afternoon tea when his shadow fell across the table where she was seated out in the open, and he said gravely, ‘Do you mind if I join you?’
‘Er...no,’ she said weakly, as the sight of him so near and unexpected made her blood warm and made her cheeks go pink.
A waitress was hovering to take their order and when that was done Glenn took the pack off his back and, facing her across the table, asked, ‘So how are you, Emma? What brings you up here?’
She shrugged slender shoulders and told him, ‘For the lack of anything else to do, I suppose. When the practice closed for the weekend at lunchtime I felt that I just had to get some fresh clean air after the long winter.’
‘Me too,’ Glenn agreed. ‘Although I’m surprised not to find Alex with you. He told me once that he comes up here a lot to revive old memories, whatever they might be.’
‘He’s a lovely man,’ she commented. ‘But lonely, I feel. Alex once said that he came back because all his most precious memories are here. Whatever they might be, he was obviously happy in Glenminster, which is more than either of us can say, isn’t it?’
As soon as she’d thrown that comment into the conversation Emma couldn’t believe she’d said it. She’d given Glenn an opening for more aggravation and he was quick to respond.
‘Which, I suppose, is my fault for being too faithful to the wife I lost?’ he said, and got to his feet just as the waitress was bringing the food.
Emma felt the wetness of tears on her cheeks as he slung the bag he’d been carrying onto his back again and, leaving ample money on the table to pay for what they had ordered, set off back down the track on which he had come up.
She was on her feet, running after him. She caught up with him at the side of a deserted hayloft belonging to one of the farms. When Glenn turned to face her, Emma said breathlessly, ‘Forgive me for my lack of understanding, Glenn, and for forgetting how you brought me back out of limbo. I will never forget that, no matter what.’
Her glance went to the hayloft, a close and sheltered place where they could be alone for a while. As if reading her mind, Glenn said, ‘If ever I made love to you it would be on our wedding night, not in somewhere like that. Do you understand?’
‘Yes, I do,’ she said in a low voice. ‘I understand perfectly and you have no idea how much it hurts to know how little chance there is of that.’
Glenn nodded and without speaking pointed himself homewards on the hillside, while she walked back to her car with dragging feet.
* * *
Following a miserable weekend that had seemed never-ending to Emma, they met again on Monday morning when she knocked on the door of his consulting room. After he opened it Emma said, before she choked on the words, ‘I am sorry about what I said on Saturday, Glenn, and do hope you will forgive me.’
He reached out, took her hand in his, and pulled her into the room, closing the door behind her. ‘There is nothing to forgive,’ he said gently. ‘I was too quick off the mark, Emma. But I have to tell you that you would be better off with someone unlike me, whose heart and mind are free from pain and sorrow.
‘You are young and beautiful and deserve someone who isn’t living in the past. I
t worries me that you are so alone, without family, with just a few friends. If we continue as we are doing one day you will wish that you’d never met me, because all your chances of happiness will be gone, lost in a relationship without roots, like your mother’s was, from what I can gather. Do you really have no idea at all who your father was, or is? Have you ever seen your birth certificate?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘I’ve never had any need to look for it, before now, and assumed Jeremy’s name was on it. But I can’t find it anywhere, so maybe my real father’s name is included. I should get a copy and see what comes to light.’
‘Yes,’ Glenn agreed. ‘It can’t do any harm. You need to go to the register office where you were born to apply for a copy. You will have to pay for it, together with postage, on the spot. I’m told that it doesn’t take long to arrive.
‘I’ll come along to give you moral support if you like and will be there for you when it arrives.’ Then, as the surgery doors were opened at that moment at the start of another busy day, they separated, each with a mind full of questions that needed answers. And in the middle of it all Glenn prayed that the information Emma received from her birth certificate would bring some degree of contentment into her life and help to take away the loneliness.
* * *
They went the next day in their lunch hour to the local register office to fill in the necessary paperwork for a copy of her birth certificate, and when they came out of the building Emma was smiling because, thanks to Glenn, hope had been born inside her. He pointed to a café across the road and said, ‘How about a quick bite before we go back to the practice?’
‘Yes, please,’ she told him, and as they settled themselves at a table by the window Alex passed by on the other side of the street. He observed them and thought what a happy couple they made. He would have liked to go across and join them but didn’t want to butt in and went on his way.
* * *
It was true. Emma had been happy on that day, just being with Glenn and knowing that soon one of the blank chapters of her life might be opened up to her. Her happiness lasted until the certificate she was waiting for arrived, with the information regarding her father described as ‘unknown’.
His Christmas Bride-To-Be (Medical Romance) Page 10
