“No,” he interrupted. “Now answer my question. What was he talking about?”
“Why haven’t you worked while I’ve been gone?” I asked, ignoring him. I knew I needed the answer to this question. I needed to know the reasoning behind his actions if I was going to tell him anything.
He sighed long and loud before tilting his head back and giving the ceiling his answer. “I was waiting for you to come home.”
I frowned. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I did.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, only like three times–”
“And you didn’t answer any of them.”
I rolled my eyes. “Because I didn’t want to talk to you.”
Bryson’s bright hazel eyes speared me with a look that wasn’t hard to decipher. “Then why the hell would I keep calling if you weren’t going to answer? Why are we playing these games?”
His words found their mark immediately. He was right. I was playing games. I was running away from my problems instead of facing them head on. Just like Josie had said, damn her.
“Okay, so you couldn’t call me, what were you going to do? Just wait here until I came home?”
Bryson’s bright eyes stayed glued to mine as he nodded his head just once.
And suddenly, I was speechless. I didn’t know what this meant or which Bryson was standing in front of me, but it didn’t seem to be the one I’d gotten to know these past few months.
“Now, answer my question.”
I took a deep breath and looked to the floor, hoping the hard wood could infuse me with a strength I wasn’t feeling. There was no good way to do this, and I’d run out of diversionary tactics. I had nothing left but the truth.
“Bryson, I’m pregnant.”
Chapter 22
“You’re… what?”
My eyes were still trained on the floor, but I needed to see Bryson. Needed to read his face and study his eyes in this moment. I needed to know what he was feeling about this news before I said anything more.
I peeked up through my lashes and saw a man whose face was paler than I’d ever seen it, with wide glassy eyes and a jaw that was hanging wide open. His confusion spurred me on.
“I’m pregnant,” I repeated.
I continued to watch as a myriad of emotions flashed across Bryson’s face. It didn’t seem like he could settle on just one as they fought for dominance of his features.
“I don’t understand. How did this happen?”
I shrugged and looked back down at the dark wood floors. “I don’t know. It must have been right after the office Christmas party.”
I watched as Bryson’s loafers spun away from me to pace the front hall. I looked up as he ran his fingers through his dark blond hair and over his scruffy face. “I don’t understand. I thought you couldn’t get pregnant.”
I frowned. “I don’t know. I’m not really questioning it.” I took a deep breath and turned my face up to stare at him. “I thought you’d be happy.”
He stopped in place and pinned me with a look I couldn’t decipher. His eyes traveled around my face before settling on my eyes. He seemed to be thinking hard about something. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally spoke up. “Are you sure it’s mine?”
A wild gasp tore from my lungs, choking me on the surplus of oxygen. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t believe what he’d just asked me. How had we come to this?
“What did you just say?” My voice was low and careful.
Bryson’s right eye twitched as he reached up to grab the back of his neck. “You can’t blame me for asking that, Mackenzie. He just showed up to my goddamn house in the middle of the day! What if I hadn’t been here? What would have happened then?”
I took a deep breath, willing my heart to stop racing. My right palm itched with the need to smack him, but I held back. No matter how low we’d sunk, I didn’t want to ever bring our relationship to that point. But, boy, was it difficult.
My mind spun with a million things I wanted to say, but none of them seemed like enough. Nothing I could say at this time could fully convey how deeply his question had cut me and suddenly, I realized I needed to go. The tears that I’d staved off were rushing back, and I refused to cry in front of him.
I bent down to retrieve my duffel bag before turning and heading toward the door. Bryson’s hand on my arm stopped me again, but I shook him off violently. “Don’t,” I warned.
“Mackenzie.”
“No, Bryson. This time you’ve gone too far.”
“What the fuck am I supposed to think when he knew you were pregnant before your own husband did?”
I spun around once more, my hand clutching the strap of my bag so hard my knuckles were all bone-white. “I tried to tell you, Bryson, and you refused to come home. Mason has been there for me as the morning sickness got the best of me day in and day out and as the dark circles under my eyes grew to look like bruises from how tired I was. He saw me when you didn’t. He was there for me when you weren’t. And he guessed that I was pregnant because he pays attention and he cares about me.”
My chest was heaving, and I realized I’d taken several steps back in his direction. I tipped my chin up and speared him with one last glare. “Can you say you’ve been there for me like he’s been these past few months?”
Bryson’s bright hazel gaze dimmed just slightly, and he turned his face away. I nodded once and turned to leave the house again. This time he didn’t stop me.
I made it all the way to Josie’s apartment complex before big, fat tears fell from my eyes, making wet polka dots on my white blouse.
How had things gone this wrong between us? How had we come to this place in our marriage where we were both slinging accusations like this? We’d officially fallen apart, and I wasn’t sure there was a way for us to put ourselves back together this time. Too much damage had been done on both sides. I didn’t know if anyone could come back from this kind of devastation.
That question still spun around my brain as I fought to control my sobs. My husband thought I’d cheated on him. My husband wasn’t sure if the child I was carrying was actually his. I reached down to cup my belly, making the tears flow more furious than before. It felt like a rejection of me and my baby. Like we were all alone now.
A knock on my window startled me enough that I jumped in my seat before I turned to find the concerned blue eyes of my best friend staring back at me.
“What’s going on, Mack?” she called through the window.
I wiped at my damp face and gathered my bags before exiting the car. Josie must not have had a clear view of me before, because when she got a good look at me, she gasped.
“What happened?” she whispered.
I shook my head and shouldered my duffel.
“Can we go inside?”
Josie simply nodded and wrapped her arm around my shoulders, leading me up the stairs and into her apartment, her small palm rubbing small soothing circles on my back. Once upstairs, Josie rushed into her kitchen, returning a moment later with a glass of ice water and a cold rag.
I leaned back on her plush couch and draped the cloth over my eyes, hoping to lessen the swelling I knew would be there from all the crying I’d done. She placed the cool glass in my hand and I took a tentative sip, breathing in my first calming breath in what felt like hours.
“Mackenzie, what happened? Why did you leave work early?”
I swallowed another gulp of water. “I wasn’t feeling well. Didn’t Mason tell you?”
“He did, but I wanted to hear it from you. Were you sick again?”
I nodded. “On and off all day.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Isn’t it enough that I’m staying in your home? I don’t need to be a burden at work too.”
There was a light tap to my forehead that I had a feeling would have been a lot harder if I’d been feeling better. “Don’t be stupid, stupid.”
A small watery chuckle fe
ll from my lips.
“Where did you go when you left work?” she asked.
I sighed. “I went home. I thought I could be alone for a couple hours and pick up some more clothes while I was there.” Carefully navigating the glass back to my lips, I took another gulp of the refreshing liquid. “When I pulled up, Bryson was outside.”
Josie gasped. “What was he doing home?”
I shrugged. “Said he hadn’t been to work since I left.”
“That doesn’t sound like him.”
“Not at all.”
“So, what happened?”
I sighed again and recounted my fight with Bryson for her. She was quiet the whole time and I couldn’t see her face, so I didn’t know how she was reacting to the story. When I had run through the high points of our argument, Josie cut in.
“Did you tell him?”
I shook my head. “I wasn’t going to.”
“Then what happened?”
“Mason showed up.”
Josie gasped. “You told him?”
I shook my head again and explained how Mason figured it out for himself. She was quiet again for a few moments and I could almost hear the gears turning in her brain.
Without waiting for the questions I knew were coming, I launched into retelling how Mason had alluded to the fact I was keeping something from Bryson and the subsequent third degree from my husband.
“So, now he knows,” Josie concluded.
“So, now he knows,” I confirmed.
“How did he take it?”
This was the question I’d been dreading. The reason why I’d taken my time in explaining the story to her, knowing this was what she’d been waiting for. The reason I’d sat in the parking lot in front of her house and sobbed uncontrollably for who knows how long.
But, I didn’t want to repeat his words. They felt dirty, and I didn’t want their taste on my tongue. I didn’t want to give them further life by saying them again.
Knowing I wasn’t getting out of this room without giving up all the information I had, I peeled off the cloth that was now the same temperature as my body, and speared Josie with a look. I stared at her for a few moments before I realized I couldn’t look at her and say these words.
I tipped my head back and let out a deep breath before spitting the words out as fast as I could. “He asked if it was his.”
I caught Josie leaping to her feet in my peripheral. “He what?!” Her voice was thunderous, and I momentarily worried about the neighbors.
“Please don’t make me say it again,” I rasped.
Josie growled low in the back of her throat, the most menacing sound I’d ever heard come from someone so small. She stormed into the middle of her living room and began pacing it like she wanted to start a fire from the mere friction of her feet on the carpet.
“I’ll kill him,” she muttered. “No. I’ll beat him first, and then I’ll kill him.”
“Josie,” I warned, worrying about nosey neighbors hearing my best friend talk about murder.
“No, Mack. He’s gone too far this time. I could forgive him for working late and putting you on the back burner, I could look the other way when he fucked you and forgot you after the office Christmas party, but this is too far. This is too much.”
It was times like this I wondered what I’d done to deserve a friend like her.
“Fucked me and forgot me? That’s a new one.” My weak attempt at levity only got me a glare for my efforts.
“I’m not joking, Mack.” She stomped over to her purse and shoved her feet in a pair of shoes. I’m not even sure they matched. “I’m going over there.”
I jolted upward and immediately regretted it when my head spun. “No. Josie don’t.”
She turned toward me, nostrils flaring, eyes the bluest I’d ever seen them. “I just have a few things I’d like to say to him. I promise I’ll leave him unharmed. Mostly. Probably.” She shrugged and grabbed her keys from the hook next to the door.
I jumped off the couch and ran over to her, gripping her thin arms in mine, knowing despite being bigger than her, if she wanted to, she’d be out that door no matter what I did.
“Please. Stay here with me.” I pulled the only card I knew I could play at this point. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”
Her strawberry blonde brows furrowed as she ran her eyes over my face, searching for the truth behind my words. Finally, she sighed, and I felt the fight leave her body.
“Fine.”
“Thank you.”
“But I’m not ruling out going over there once you’re asleep.”
I chuckled softly but didn’t respond. I knew she wasn’t joking.
My phone rang from across the room in my purse and I hesitantly walked over to see who was calling me. If it was Bryson, there was no way I was taking the call. I don’t know when, if ever, I’d be ready to talk to him again.
Mason’s name flashed across my lit-up screen and I slid my finger across the phone’s face to answer his call.
“Hello?”
“Mackenzie.” My name was both confirming and affirming in his deep voice.
“Hey, Mason, what’s up?”
“I need to talk to you.”
I frowned. “Okay, what’s up?”
“Can you meet me outside?”
My frown deepened. “Outside where?”
“I’m in Josie’s complex, but I don’t know which apartment hers is.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear to frown at it some more. Josie eyed me from across the room and I shrugged. “What are you doing here? How did you know where she lives?”
“He’s here?!” Josie whisper-yelled.
I nodded absently.
“Relax, Kenny, I drove her home once when her car broke down after work. I’m here because I need to talk to you. I need to see how you’re doing.”
“Mason, now’s not really a good time.”
“Please. It won’t take long.”
I looked at Josie helplessly, but she just shrugged. The woman who’d been Team Bryson all along was suddenly disenchanted with my husband. I sighed heavily and ran a hand through my messy brown hair.
“Okay, I’ll be down in a minute.”
“Thanks, Kenny, I’ll see you soon.”
I hung up and tossed my phone back toward my bag before placing my hands on my hips. What did Mason want and how much more could I take today? My eyes met Josie’s and I must have telegraphed my thoughts because she walked over and wrapped her thin arms around my waist.
“It’ll be okay, Mack. Go see what he wants, and I’ll make you some soup for when you get back in.”
I sniffed against her shoulder. “Can it be the kind with the fun shaped noodles?”
She laughed and squeezed me tighter. “Of course, babe. Only the best for you.”
I sighed, and she pulled away from me before giving me a sharp slap on my ass. “Go out there and see what that boy wants so we can get rid of him and have a man-hating movie marathon.”
“What does a man-hating movie marathon look like?”
Josie was already walking away from me toward her small kitchen. “Both Kill Bill’s obviously.”
I tilted my head in agreement. The woman was on to something.
Chapter 23
I slipped my heels on and smoothed my messy hair back from my face before leaving Josie’s apartment to meet with Mason. He was parked right outside her building and I felt his icy blue eyes assessing every move I made as I walked down the stairs and over to him.
“Kenny.”
“Mason.”
“Are you okay?”
I shrugged and tipped my lips into what I hoped looked like some sort of smile. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
He scanned my face from corner to corner before frowning. “You don’t have to lie to me.”
Damn. How long has he been able to read me like this?
I sighed. “What do you want me to say, Mason?”
“The truth. A
re you okay?”
“Honesty? Not really.”
“What happened after I left?”
Suddenly, I remembered he was the reason I’d had to tell Bryson about the pregnancy like that. Before I was ready. Before I could be sure of his reaction. And as it turns out, he’d reacted worse than I ever could have imagined.
“It was a shit show, Mason. What did you expect? Why did you show up there? It wasn’t your place to say anything.”
He ran a hand through his straight, dark hair. “How was I supposed to know he didn’t know? I would have thought your husband would be the first person you’d tell.”
“Yeah, well, so did I, but things didn’t work out like that.”
“Why didn’t you tell him?”
I huffed out a frustrated breath. “I really don’t want to get into it right now. Why are you here?”
His bright eyes scanned my face again. “I needed to make sure you were okay. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep until I saw you.”
A tiny piece of the ice around my heart broke off at his kind words.
“I’m fine, Mason. You don’t need to worry about me.”
He took a step closer. “But, I do. All the time.”
My breath caught in my chest and I felt like I was drowning in the blue pools of his eyes. “Why?” I whispered.
He opened his mouth and then closed it with a snap before shooting me a crooked smile. “I care about you, Kenny. Of course, I’m going to worry.”
I felt the distinct impression that there was more to his words. That there was more he wasn’t saying, something he was hiding from me. At the very same time, I decided it wasn’t something I wanted to know. I’d had enough to deal with for one day and all I wanted was chicken noodle soup, my best friend, and some man-hating movies.
“Well, thank you, Mason. I’m fine.”
He took another step, so close that I could feel the heat radiating from his body. My body reacted in a totally inappropriate way. My heart pounded, and my stomach clenched as he reached up and carefully tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His hand lingering for longer than necessary against the side of my face.
His touch was so sweet. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been touched so tenderly. So affectionately. It scrambled my senses and twisted my insides. I could feel my emotions bubbling up and threatening to further complicate an already horrendous situation.
Trying Page 18
