Brooke continued to cry. “I don’t want to lose you,” Brooke said. “It could have been you.”
“What could have been me, love?” Tess asked. She held Brooke to her chest and stroked her hair until Brooke calmed.
Brooke took a deep breath and began to relate the story of the night’s events. She had been called down to consult on a young pregnant woman who was brought into the emergency department complaining of abdominal pain. Brooke just happened to be there when a motor vehicle accident had been called in. She explained that the only initial information indicated that the accident had involved a woman and two children.
“It could have been you,” Brooke said. “It could have been Dani and Davey.”
Tess closed her eyes and kissed Brooke’s head. The experience Brooke had just been through had clearly shaken her deeply. Tess found herself recalling the conversation she had with Brooke’s mother earlier that day. Brooke had never known loss. That is what Rebecca had said. Tess had known loss—profound loss. She understood the feeling of abandonment and emptiness that accompanied loss. And, she knew fear. She remembered sitting on her brother’s bed a few days before he had passed. Perhaps, he had accepted what life had dealt him. Tess did her best to pretend that she had accepted it too. David’s opinion of her meant everything to Tess. He was her best friend, her big brother—her idol. Outwardly, Tess had smiled and told her brother jokes, just as she had promised him she would. Inside, she quaked with fear. How would she survive without him? It took her years to realize that she had. She had not only survived, but she had also learned to live.
Tess’s conversation with Rebecca had produced an epiphany. Tess did fear Brooke leaving. She feared loss. She feared the fear that accompanied deep loss. Tess wasn’t afraid that Brooke would walk away. The truth was, the ending of both of Tess’s previous relationships had not brought Tess as much sorrow and confusion as it had for those closest to her. Tess’s children had felt the loss of those relationships in many ways more keenly than Tess had. What plagued Tess’s heart even more than her conscious mind was the possibility of Brooke being taken from her. Rebecca’s words seemed to bring that home with crystal clarity. Tess had pondered why she felt such a connection to the house she lived in all day. She wasn’t positive that she could answer that completely.
For Tess, loss always equated to abandonment. When David had died, it wasn’t only her brother that had left her. Everything in Tess’s family changed, most dramatically from Tess’s perspective, her mother became a foreigner in the Sinclair home. In many ways, Tess felt as if she had lost two people the day that David died—her brother and her mother. That pattern continued. The twins’ father’s decision to abandon them all, to walk away from Tess and his children surprising hurt Tess less than her parents’ reaction had. The harsh words and the judgment Tess had endured form her family, even from her normally demonstrative and supportive father, devastated her. She felt utterly alone. That changed the day David and Danielle were born. Everything changed again on that day. Tess decided the moment she held her children for the first time that she would do anything in her power to shield them from experiencing the painful loss she had already endured in life.
For a while, Tess felt as if she were succeeding in that endeavor. Tess had not been surprised by Jackie’s choice to leave. What shocked her was how Jackie handled it. It was cruel, not for Tess, but for the twins. No goodbye, no explanation, no apology—Jackie walked away, selfishly leaving the children nothing but her memory. As silly as it might have seemed to some people, their house was their anchor. At least, it was Tess’s. She made it a living home, and she still believed that had helped them all to heal. Bur now, things had changed again.
The last thing Tess had been expecting a year ago was to fall in love, particularly with Dr. Brooke Campbell. At least, she would never have expected Brooke to fall in love with her. Here she was, holding Brooke, trying to comfort the woman she loved in the face of fear—fear that Tess understood intimately. She kissed Brooke’s head again and let her lips linger. “It wasn’t me, love,” she reminded Brooke. “I’m here.”
Brooke nodded against Tess and sat up in the bed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I was an asshole the other day,” Brooke told Tess.
“No, you weren’t,” Tess disagreed. “I’m sorry too,” she said earnestly. Brooke kissed Tess gently. She rolled over Tess and hopped from the bed. “Where are you going?” Tess asked. Brooke reached down and started rummaging in her duffel bag. “Brooke?”
Brooke took a deep breath and released it slowly. She stood stationary for a moment just gazing at Tess before handing Tess a small box.
“What is this?” Tess asked. “A Christmas present? Now?”
Brooke shrugged. “Well, actually, it isn’t a Christmas present or at least it wasn’t going to be.”
Tess looked at Brooke suspiciously. “You want me to open it now?” Tess asked. Brooke nodded and sat down on the bed beside Tess. Tess slid the ribbon off and began carefully tearing the paper away from the long, narrow box. What on earth is she up to? Tess covered her mouth in complete disbelief when the contents of the box were revealed.
“Umm…If you don’t like it….It was my grandmother’s….I mean, Tess...Shit…You are crying….Why are you crying?” Brooke fumbled. “Am I supposed to be down on my knee? I am, right?” Brooke rambled on nervously. Tess looked at her and smiled in spite of her falling tears. “You don’t have to tell me…now, I mean…if…”
“Brooke,” Tess tried to stop Brooke’s rambling.
“I thought that I would give it to you when we bought the house. I mean, I thought that would be romantic. I suck. If it is too soon…I mean…if you want to wait…”
“Brooke,” Tess giggled slightly. “Are you asking me to marry you?”
“Isn’t that what I said?” Brooke asked honestly.
Tess pulled Brooke to her and kissed her tenderly. “No.”
“No? Oh…Oh…”
Tess giggled. “No you didn’t ask me that,” Tess explained. “And yes, I will—if you get around to the question,” Tess teased.
Brooke looked at Tess curiously. “Oh! The knee thing, right!” she said. Tess shook her head affectionately and smiled at Brooke’s nervousness. Brooke took the antique diamond ring from the box and knelt on the bed. “Is this okay?” she asked Tess. Tess just smiled.
Brooke took a deep breath and nodded as if she were gathering all of her courage. Tess fought to suppress a fit of laughter. She was both touched and amused by Brooke’s flustered display. Tess watched as the nervousness in Brooke’s body language gave way to a line of thoughtfulness that etched her brow.
“Tess, I know it hasn’t been that long. Maybe it seems crazy to you. Maybe it is—crazy, I mean. I love you. I love Dani and Davey. I knew that a long time ago, maybe even that first night you said goodbye to me at your door. I don’t know for sure because I can’t remember when I didn’t—love you, I mean. I just know that I don’t want to be without you, any of you, ever again. So,” Brooke stopped and took another deep breath.
Tess bit the inside of her cheek to contain her grin. Did she forget that I already told her yes?
“Tess, I know I’m not perfect. Believe me, I do know. You give me everything. I want to give you everything I can. So….Will you? Marry me?”
Tess leaned in and kissed Brooke lovingly. “Yes, Brooke.”
“Yes?” Brooke asked for confirmation. Tess nodded as Brooke came to her senses and slipped the ring on Tess’s finger. She kissed Tess gently. “Thanks,” she said.
“Thanks?” Tess asked.
“For saying yes,” Brooke explained.
Tess laughed. “Brooke, did you really think I would say no?”
Brooke shook her head. “No. It’s just that I had intended to wait until we moved somewhere. I just realized that doesn’t matter. I don’t care where we live as long as we’re together. And, we can wait as long as you want…to get married.”
Tess nodde
d. “Well, that’s good to know. We might not have much time to plan a wedding in the near future,” Tess said. She lifted herself from the bed, made her way to retrieve a small envelope with a small bow taped to it from the top of her dresser. She turned back to Brooke and handed it to her.
“What’s this?” Brooke asked.
“Early Christmas present. Open it,” Tess directed Brooke.
Brooke opened the envelope and slid out a piece of paper. “I don’t…This is…What is this?”
“That would be the listing for this house that Gina will post right after the holiday,” Tess explained.
“What? You’re selling the house?” Brooke asked in disbelief. “Tess…”
Tess pressed two fingers to Brooke’s lips to silence her. “Yes, I am. So, wedding planning might have to take a back seat to house hunting. Unless, of course, you want to try and live in that condo of yours with two kids and Murphy,” Tess said. “You were right. At least, you were partly right. I am afraid,” Tess confessed. “But not for the reasons you think. And, not because I don’t trust you. There is only one other person I ever trusted completely to be there for me.”
“David,” Brooke guessed.
“Yes.”
“And, you lost him. Tess…”
“Stop,” Tess said. “I just need you to know. I didn’t expect you to ask me to marry you. I’ve never…never wanted that with anyone before, Brooke. I want that with you. I want you. Wedding rings or not, I need us to start somewhere that is ours. Ours, Brooke, not yours and not mine. And, for me, that means that I have to let go of this house. I need to contribute. I need you to understand why that matters so much to me.”
Brooke sighed. She had turned millions of possibilities over and over in her brain the last two days. Rachel had, in true best friend form, called Brooke onto the mat. Rachel didn’t need to spell anything out. She planted the seed. It grew as she had intended. Brooke found herself sitting in the cafeteria at the hospital admitting the truth. She was afraid of losing Tess. And, Brooke’s answer to that was to compensate with what she could provide: a bigger house, nicer cars, trips, all the things her monetary means could provide. Brooke’s biggest worry was that she would never be able to be there for Tess enough. Work divided her time often. Brooke never wanted her work to come between her and Tess.
“I do understand,” Brooke said assuredly. “Tess, you do everything for me.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes,” Brooke chuckled. “You do. You have since we met. You just don’t realize it. You take care of all of us, all of the time. And, you work full time. You’re so busy taking care of everyone else, you don’t have time to do what you love to do. I’m not here enough to help you. My hours can get…”
“Brooke, you have some crazy notion that I am missing out on something. I’m not. I like my life. In fact, I love it. I love our life. I’m doing all the things I enjoy doing.”
“Oh? Like what? Like laundry, and cooking, and picking up Murphy’s bombs in the backyard?” Brooke asked with a chuckle.
“I could do without the bombs,” Tess admitted. “But, yes.”
“I want to be able to take care of you. All of you,” Brooke explained. “I don’t want to screw that up. I know how work can do that. I’ve seen it destroy families.”
“You are not your father, honey. We are not your parents.”
“Been talking to my mother again?” Brooke guessed with a snicker.
“Yep.”
“Do you think every couple is as screwed up as we are?” Brooke asked.
“Yep,” Tess answered. “But, you are way more screwed up than me, Dr. Banner. It’s all that nuclear Gatorade you drink, I think.”
Brooke laughed. “Maybe so,” she said. “Still want to marry me?”
“Yes, on the condition that we do not get married on St. Patrick’s Day.”
“Why would we do that?” Brooke asked. Tess lifted her eyebrow and pointed to the green sweatshirt Brooke was wearing. “Cute, Diana,” Brooke countered. Tess smiled. “You like me in green,” Brooke said flatly.
“True,” Tess admitted. “I like you out of it better, though,” she said. Brooke swallowed hard as Tess’s hands removed the offending sweatshirt in one swift pull. “Merry Christmas, Brooke,” Tess whispered between kisses.
“It’s not Christmas yet,” Brooke replied.
“Maybe, we can make this our first tradition,” Tess suggested.
“Oh?”
“Mm-hm. Our private Christmas,” Tess said.
“Do we exchange gifts every year?” Brooke asked.
“Yes,” Tess breathed as her hands cupped Brooke’s breasts.
“Uh-huh. How do we top this year?” Brooke asked.
Tess nibbled on Brooke’s neck. “Oh, I am sure we will think of something.”
Brooke let Tess begin to carry her away. Oh, God. Brooke began to slip away under Tess’s touch. Maybe I could ask her to marry me every year. Brooke moaned softly.
“Did you say something?” Tess asked.
“Not a thing,” Brooke replied breathily. She closed her eyes in the face of an odd mixture of arousal and contentment. Yep, ask her every year.
THE END
To Be Continued in
Handle With Care
Small Packages (Special Delivery Book 2) Page 8
