by SJ West
“Maybe not,” I concede, “but it was at least a happy bonus for him. He detests me, and there’s nothing I can do about that even if I wanted to.”
“I think I know what you need right now,” Cade says, keeping ahold of my hand as he begins to scoot out of the booth. “Come on. Let’s dance.”
“Uh, I don’t dance,” I declare, yanking my hand out of his grasp before he has a chance to pull me with him.
“Yes, you do. I’ve seen you dance.”
“At balls and such. Not that.” I nod my head toward the horde of undulating bodies on the dance floor. To be honest, it looks more like they’re having a clothed orgy in syncopation to the thumping music. “I do not dance like that.”
“Are you that scared of letting yourself go for even a moment?” he asks, attempting to goad me into doing what he wants.
“I let myself go all the time when I torture people,” I reply curtly, “but I have a feeling you don’t want to hear about that part of my life.”
My words seem to have the desired effect on Cade, and he sits back down in the booth. However, he doesn’t scoot over to sit right next to me this time. He maintains a certain distance between us, and his face becomes drawn with contemplation as he considers the weight of my statement.
“Sometimes,” he begins, looking down at the table and not meeting my eyes, “I forget what you are.”
“I don’t understand how you can,” I scoff bitterly, finding his admission an insult to the very core of who I am. “Are you hoping that some miracle will happen and I’ll change?”
Almost reluctantly he looks over at me, shaking his head. “No. I know you can’t. It’s not in your nature to be nurturing and kind to others. But I’ve also come to realize that what you do serves a higher purpose. You’re the darkness that hides in the corner of every human’s sin. Those who believe in Heaven and Hell know you exist and either refrain from committing a depravity that will doom them to your tender care or forge ahead and lose their souls to you forever. I can’t say I like what you do to those who end up in your domain, but whether you want to admit it or not, you serve a function in the grand scheme of things.”
“Let me get this straight, you’ve been able to justify what I am and certain things that I do to make them almost noble in your eyes,” I say, working through his rationale. “Just to satisfy my curiosity, how have you justified the deaths I caused in Cirrus by sending in my hellspawn? Or the death of Anna’s maid, who I murdered with my own two hands? Was I serving some higher calling by orchestrating all of that?”
“I’m fully aware that you can be beyond cruel and that you will most likely continue to do things I don’t like, but I’m not deluded enough to believe that I can force you to change.” He pauses, seemingly to collect his thoughts as I patiently wait for him to continue. “All I ask,” he finally says, his words measured as if to make sure I hear his next ones clearly, “is that you don’t hurt any of my friends.”
“So are you giving me your permission to hurt everyone else in the world except those you care about?” I ask, amused by his request.
“That’s not what I said, Helena.” Cade’s tone is low, almost admonishing. “Obviously, I don’t want you to hurt people, but I also know I can’t protect the world from you. All I do know—without a shadow of a doubt—is that if you hurt the people I consider to be my family, I won’t be able to forgive you no matter how much I might want to. I won’t be able to continue whatever this is growing between us because I won’t be able to look at you anymore. Can you understand that?”
“Yes,” I say, not liking his ultimatum but also grasping his need to warn me about the ramifications of my actions. “I can’t promise you that none of the people you care about won’t be hurt by my plans. Things will happen that aren’t completely under my control, but I can tell you that I have no intention of physically harming Anna or any member of her family. As for your War Angel brothers, they know the risks involved in protecting what Anna holds dear. You should tell them to stand down when the time comes because that’s the only way I can promise that they won’t be hurt.”
“You know they won’t. War Angels don’t run away from fights. We run toward them.”
I shrug. “Then there’s nothing I can do beyond what I’ve already promised, dear heart. You’ll have to decide for yourself whether or not you can live with the things I have to do.”
“What are you planning to do, Helena?” he whispers desperately.
“It’s not something you need to worry about. There’s nothing you can do to stop what’s already been set into motion. The most you can do is help Anna with the fallout when the time comes.”
“I thought you said you weren’t going to hurt her or her family.”
“By that I meant I wouldn’t purposely set out to kill any of them. Really, Cade, for someone who just said he understood he can’t change me, you seem bound and determined to see such a miracle transpire.”
Cade looks away from me and stares at the people on the dance floor as he contemplates my words. With his profile to me, I have a chance to just look at him. Even brooding, he’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. It takes every ounce of willpower I possess not to stretch my arm out and trace the side of his face with the tips of my fingers. Before I lose control of my actions, I avert my gaze away from him and focus on the dancers. They look so foolish jumping around against one another. I have to wonder what enjoyment they’re actually obtaining by acting so wildly. Control is everything to me. It’s something I can never give up.
Neither of us has to break the silence that’s formed like a brick barricade between us. Enis does it by bringing over our plates of food and a complimentary basket of buttered bread.
“Please let me know if you need anything else, and feel free to leave once you’re done,” he adds.
Enis walks away before I can make a pithy comeback to his unsubtle suggestion.
“Well, Evelyn definitely needs to work on the hospitality of her employees around here,” I comment dryly as I pick up my fork.
Cade doesn’t say anything. He simply begins to eat his steak, not bothering to attempt to breach the wall of silence that continues to separate us.
Whatever. He can ruminate over what I’ve said for a while. My body is famished for sustenance, so I begin to eat as well.
By the time we’re both finished with our meals, I’m ready to go back home. I thought traveling to different worlds with Cade would be fun, but his surly attitude has tarnished what was supposed to be a memorable adventure for the both of us. I might have to reconsider this whole soul mate thing.
“Have you been to many places on Earth?” Cade asks me, finally shattering his silence as he lays his fork down on his empty plate.
“I can’t say that I have,” I admit, taking a last sip of wine from my glass. “Why do you ask?”
“I did a lot of traveling after we arrived there. I thought since you showed me a world I’ve never seen before, I would do the same for you. There are a multitude of wonders on Earth. You don’t have to travel halfway across the galaxy to see something new.”
His statement sounds a bit like a complaint, but I decide to forgo my usual snarky retort. However, he seems a bit ungrateful about my effort to do something fun with him.
“I’m not sure I’m properly outfitted to go globetrotting around Earth,” I say, briefly looking down at my red dress. “I’ll need to return home to change. Why don’t you have Enis bring us something for dessert while I’m gone? I’ll be back in a moment.”
Without waiting for a reply, I phase back to my bedroom in Hell directly in front of the wooden wardrobe there. It doesn’t take me long to find something to wear since I have very few outfits that aren’t dresses. I pick a red jumpsuit with a wraparound waist and wide legs. I snatch up a pair of flat black sandals to complete the ensemble. After I lay out everything on my bed, I begin to unzip the back of my dress. I suddenly get the strange sensation that I’m being watched. My f
irst thought is that Cade is in the room and playing the role of a voyeur, yet such a lascivious act seems to go against his boy-next-door nature.
I look over my shoulder and stare at the person standing a few feet behind me.
At first, I seriously consider the possibility that I’ve gone completely mad.
“No, you haven’t exactly lost your mind,” the illusion says, promptly clearing up that mystery for me. “And I’m not exactly an illusion. Just a manifestation of the logical part of yourself that you seem to be missing right now.”
I lower my arms to my sides and turn to face a figure that looks exactly like me in every possible way. She’s even wearing the same clothes as me.
“I don’t understand what you are,” I confess as I stare at her.
“I’m the part of you that will always remain here,” she tells me, lifting her hands slightly in the air to indicate she’s talking about Hell. “Your soul may have a corporeal form to reside in, but this place is who you are. Why are you pretending that you can have anything resembling a real life?”
“Because I’m real now,” I argue.
“You’ll never be like Anna,” my alter ego taunts. “I know that’s what you really want, but that’s never going to happen. You can never escape who and what you are. The sooner you admit that fact, the better off everyone will be, including Cade.”
“He cares about me.”
“Perhaps, but your feelings for him will end up destroying who he is. Do you really want that to happen?”
“He simply intrigues me,” I argue, “and I’m curious to see where all of this will lead.”
“You can’t lie to me, Helena. I am you. I know exactly what you feel and think. Stop this before you ruin what we have planned. If you stay focused on our goal, you can have dominion over both Hell and Earth. That’s what you really want. Don’t let Cade pull you away from what you’ve been working so hard for.”
“I’m not,” I defend myself. “Everything is going as planned.”
“Then why haven’t you sent Silas and the others to Earth yet? You know that has to be done in order to take the next step. Strike now while Anna is preoccupied with the babies. You’re missing a prime opportunity to take her down once and for all.”
“I’ll send them when I’m ready.”
“You need to send them now!”
“I said I’ll do it when I’m ready!” As I yell, I realize I’m only arguing with a manifestation of my id. A part of me knows she’s right, but I hate to admit when I’m wrong, even to myself. “Fine. I’ll do it now, if that will make you go away and never return.”
“I am you. It’s not exactly like I can go anywhere.”
“Then just don’t materialize in front of me like this again,” I say, waving a hand in her direction to indicate what I mean.
“I’m only here because you needed me to remind you what needs to be done.”
“I’ll take care of it! Now just go!”
The illusion of me vanishes, making me wonder if I’m losing my grasp on reality.
I snap my fingers in the air and bring Silas, Jered’s son, to me. He looks momentarily startled by my abrupt summons, but he quickly recovers.
“Is it time?” he asks me eagerly. It’s apparent he’s been impatiently waiting for me to send him back to Earth.
“Yes,” I tell him. “Anna is vulnerable at the moment. She won’t see what we have planned coming, and what you and the others will do should work to our advantage. Very soon, the people of the world will want Anna’s head served on a platter. Unfortunately, they’re too civilized for that sort of action. At the very least, she’ll lose her throne and the respect of everyone on Earth. Just make sure you follow the plans I gave you. Don’t miss a step along the way in your rush to show your father you don’t need him anymore.”
“I don’t,” Silas states stubbornly. “I thought I’d proven that to you by now.”
“Emotions, especially where loved ones are concerned, can be tricky to deal with. Just remember that I’m the one who is giving you this opportunity to leave Hell. I can bring you back just as easily.”
“That isn’t really a threat to me. You know I consider this place more of a home than I do Earth.”
“You say that now because it’s been so long since you’ve been back. I just don’t want you to believe you’re safe from me there. Your soul belongs to me. I can pull you back here anytime I want. Don’t forget that, Silas.”
Silas bends at the waist in supplication. “I am yours to command for now and for always, Helena. My loyalty is to you alone.”
“Very well. As long as we understand one another. Now, I assume you and the others you have chosen are ready to go?”
“Yes. We’ve been ready for quite some time.”
“Good. Let me get dressed and I’ll take you where you need to go first.”
I snap my fingers and transport Silas back to where he was before I brought him to me. I quickly change my clothes and check my reflection in the mirror to make sure everything is in place.
I feel a slight flutter in my heart, but I’m not sure if it’s because I’m setting Silas and his men in place for their mission or because I’ll be spending more time with Cade. I turn away from the mirror, deciding it doesn’t matter what the reason is exactly.
I’m going to have a wonderful time either way.
Chapter 3
(Anna’s Point of View)
“Anna …” Malcolm sweetly whispers in my ear, lovingly tugging its lobe with his teeth as he practically begs. “Open your eyes, Anna. I need you.”
I was so tired after Malcolm and I cleaned the babies that we placed all the children in bed with us to cuddle. I know the babies and Lucas are sandwiched in between Malcolm and me in a safe cocoon of domestic bliss. I tried my best to stay awake and continue to marvel at the miracle that is my family, but exhaustion overcame me, dragging me underneath the veil of dreams.
“Anna …” I hear Malcolm whisper again, a note of throaty desperation in his voice. “You’re dreaming, my love. Open your eyes for me.”
The combination of his gentle plea for my company combined with the warm trail of maddening kisses his lips are making along my neck prompts me to open my eyes. When I do, the first thing I see are the waves of a blue-green ocean sweeping over a great expanse of pristine white sand. The baby blue sky overhead is filled with the wispy white clouds my city is named after. We’re lying on a four-poster wooden bed with white and peach colored sheer fabric tied to the posts to make a canopy, shielding us from the rays of the sun but allowing its heat to penetrate through just enough to warm my skin. It’s been so long since I was allowed to share a dream with Malcolm. The seals prevented me from doing it, but now that the twins have been born, it looks as though that particular connection with Malcolm has been restored along with my natural brown hair and eye color.
As I lie on my side, I feel the heat of Malcolm’s naked form behind me. It’s only then that I realize I’m nude too. With one arm loosely encircling my waist, he continues the gentle assault of his lips against my flesh, causing certain parts of my body to cry out for the same ardent attention.
I turn my body until I’m lying flat on my back and able to see the beauty of my husband’s face. His long black hair flows freely in the sea’s light breeze. As I stare up at Malcolm, the love I feel for him fills every cell in my body to bursting. The muscles of my heart tighten to a point I fear it might stop beating altogether.
“Is this a dream?” I ask breathlessly. “Or are you real?”
“Both.” When he smiles down at me, all I can do is stare at his full lips and wonder why he isn’t kissing me with them. Never one to act shy around him, I show Malcolm exactly what I want. I lift my arms and wrap them around his neck, promptly solving the dilemma of him not kissing me.
Meeting absolutely no resistance, Malcolm lowers his head until our lips finally touch. The warm pressure of his mouth teasing mine causes an involuntary groan of pleasur
e to issue forth from my throat. I feel him slide one large hand across the naked flesh of my stomach until it gently cups the side of a breast. Along with a gentle squeeze, he begins to tease my nipple with the pad of his thumb in a rhythmic, circular motion that sends the tiny nerve endings there into a pleasurable frenzy.
I know we’re inside one of Malcolm’s dream worlds, but every touch and gentle tease feels as if it’s real. Usually the physical contact we share in his dream worlds always feels like a faint shadow of the real thing. I’m not sure what’s different, and in this moment, I really don’t care. All I know is that I want to feel Malcolm inside me. I want everything my husband has to offer me and more.
I know Malcolm is fully aware of the difference too, considering how a certain part of his anatomy is reacting to our foreplay. When he lifts his hand away from my breast, I automatically whimper at the loss of the contact until I feel him slowly slide it between my thighs to give another feature of my body some overdue attention. As I feel his fingers play with the most sensitive part of my core, I have to break our kiss long enough to take in a deep, shuddering breath. While I’m reminding my body how to breathe, Malcolm doesn’t miss a beat and begins to kiss the side of my face until his mouth reaches my ear.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, causing my body to tremble even more as his breath warms the inside of my ear. “I’ve missed this.”
The quickening of his fingers against my flesh causes me to gasp in pleasure, driving me to the breaking point and beyond. As I close my eyes and give voice to the joy Malcolm is selflessly giving me, I feel the heat of his body leave my side for a brief moment. When I feel the warmth of his hands again, this time on my thighs, I open my eyes just long enough to watch him lower his head as his mouth deftly takes over the job his fingers were performing. I lose count of the number of times my husband shatters the center of my being as he works his magic again and again.
