by SJ West
“Evelyn’s daughter,” I answer as I watch the two women have a rather heated argument.
“Daughter? But Evelyn is a rebellion angel. She can’t have children.”
“I didn’t say she gave birth to her.”
“I’m afraid you’ve lost me.”
I force myself to stop watching the quarrel to return my attention to Cade.
“Evelyn Grace isn’t the first name this particular rebellion angel has had on this planet, but it’s the one she’s kept for the longest time. The real Evelyn Grace was on the verge of death right after she gave birth to her daughter, Julia.” I turn my head slightly and nod it in the direction of Evelyn and Julia before looking back at Cade. “Instead of leaving Julia an orphan, the rebellion angel took over Evelyn’s body and has been living as her ever since.”
“Does Julia know that her real mother is dead?”
“I really don’t know or care,” I say honestly, already becoming bored with the subject. “It’s none of my business, and I would rather not become involved in a domestic squabble. I have enough disputes with my own family to deal with.”
“If you would stop antagonizing her,” Cade begins, “Anna would probably be willing to call a truce to the fight the two of you are embroiled in.”
“I’m perfectly aware of that,” I say testily. “Though why you think that’s something I want is rather mind-boggling. Have I ever given you the impression that I’m someone who’s interested in peace? What would that gain me? Nothing. Pain and hopelessness are the only things I care about because they feed me and make me stronger. If there is one immutable truth I learned during my visit to alternate Earth, it’s that peace can only lead to my destruction. Is that what you want, Cade? For me to become weak and useless?”
“You’re twisting my words, Helena,” Cade replies defensively. “That isn’t what I said and you know it.”
I stare at Cade for a few seconds before allowing myself to smile at him. The confused look on his face at my reaction only makes my lips stretch even more.
“Can I ask why you’re smiling?” Cade asks cautiously.
“There aren’t a lot of people in this world who would have the audacity to stand up to me like you do,” I tell him. “I like it. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t fight for what he believes in. Don’t lose that quality, dear heart. Otherwise you may not survive this little adventure into the unknown that you and I are embarking on.”
Cade seems to accept my answer and holds his right hand out to me.
“Then let’s keep going,” he suggests. “Let me be your guide to an Earth you haven’t explored yet.”
I accept his offer by placing my hand into his.
Cade phases us to a spot within Cirrus territory that I recognize straightaway. We’re standing on a plateau that overlooks a grand expanse of colorful, layered rock formations. The pale beige sandstone layers act as a stark contrast to the red limestone ones, causing them to be the most prominent thing to catch the eye.
“The Grand Canyon?” I ask in a tone that does nothing to hide my disappointment in Cade’s first location choice.
A warm breeze flows through and over the gorge, forcing me to lift a hand to shield my eyes from the dirt it kicks up. I end up coughing slightly as some of the dust makes its way into my lungs.
“Why on earth would you bring me here?” I ask incredulously. “It’s just a big hole in the ground!”
“It’s more than that,” Cade tells me in an even, calm tone. He doesn’t seem in the least bit offended by my less than enthusiastic attitude. “It’s a testament to Earth’s history and how much has happened here through the ages.”
I look out across the grand vista once more, trying to appreciate Cade’s point of view. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work.
“All I see is a gigantic, lifeless pit,” I say, unable to perceive the beauty of such a place like he apparently does.
I hear him sigh. Presumably he’s disappointed in my lack of enthusiasm over the sight, but I’m not about to lie to him just to assuage his misguided attempt at romance. If he wants to impress me, he’ll have to step up his game and do better.
He tightens his hold on my hand and phases us to yet another location that is just as unimpressive to me. I almost begin to feel sorry for Cade and his clichéd notions of what I will find romantic or even remotely interesting. As my ears are assaulted by the roar of crashing ocean waves, I look down at my feet and see that they are now buried in sugar white sand. With a growl born from frustration, I yank my hand out of Cade’s to quickly slip off my strappy black leather sandals before they’re completely ruined by the sand or an overzealous saltwater wave.
“I take it you don’t like it here either,” Cade surmises with an amused lilt in his voice.
“No,” I reply tersely as I clap the bottoms of my sandals together to get rid of the sand clinging to them. “My shoes are probably ruined thanks to all this sand, and the stench of that saltwater will be impossible to get out of my clothes now.”
“O-kay,” he says, sounding hesitant to take me anywhere else since I’ve heartily disliked his choice of locales thus far. “Should I even attempt to take you anywhere else, or are you becoming too annoyed to go any farther with me?”
When I look up at Cade, I can tell he desperately wants to find a place on Earth that we both view the same way. Unexpectedly, I feel a sense of guilt wash over me for stridently voicing my displeasure in his failure to show me something I find even remotely beautiful on this planet. Yet I don’t like seeing him so dejected and have to wonder if he realizes one very important fact regarding the two of us.
“We’re very different people, Cade,” I patiently explain. “It’s going to be almost impossible to find a place that we can both find beauty in.”
“I’m acutely aware of the fact that we view things differently,” he replies, “but I also believe there’s a way for us to find some common ground. There just has to be.”
I tilt my head slightly as I consider the almost desperate look on his face.
“Why is this so important to you?” I have to ask.
“I need to know there’s more to us than just being soul mates,” he replies like a confession.
I feel slightly taken aback by his answer. “Isn’t being soul mates enough of a connection for you? What more do we really need?”
“So much more,” he says as his gaze trails away from mine. He stares across the ocean to the red-orange sunset. I remain silent, allowing him time to place his thoughts in order before he speaks again.
Finally, he says, “I know you probably don’t want to hear me compare us to Anna and Malcolm …”
“And you would assume right,” I interrupt brusquely. “I have no intention of being as sappy as my sister is in her own love life. If that’s the sort of lover you need, then I am not the one for you.”
Cade returns his gaze to me. “You’re the only one for me, Helena, and you know that better than anyone else. I’m fully aware that we can never be the way Malcolm and Anna are together. The all-consuming love they share only comes once in a generation. I’m not deluded enough to believe we’ll have a life like theirs.”
“Then I’m confused,” I admit. “What is it that you want?”
“Right now, all I want is for us to find a place that we both like. If we can do that one simple thing, then maybe we can build on that and figure out other things that we both like. After watching Anna and Malcolm together, I know that a lasting relationship needs to be built on more than just love and sex.”
“Well,” I say, unable to hold back a smile at his use of the three-letter word I’ve been waiting for him to bring up, “why don’t we start with sex and build from there? I’m quite positive we would both enjoy that little activity.”
Cade shakes his head at me as if silently chastising me for my thoughts concerning sex, but I notice he’s helpless to prevent the glint of desire I see flare in the depths of his eyes.
“
Sex is nothing to build a relationship on, Helena,” he admonishes. “If all I wanted was sex from a woman, I could have gone to the Ladies in Waiting in Cirrus months ago. I want a deeper connection to the woman I make love to for the first time.”
“I have no doubt you could connect with me on a very deep level,” I say huskily while taking a small step forward until my breasts are barely brushing against Cade’s chest. “Let’s not forget that I’ve held what you have to offer. So don’t sell your attribute short, because it’s anything but.”
Cade stares at me as if he’s considering my words, but I can already tell by the steely determination in his blue-gray eyes that he isn’t going to take me up on my generous offer.
“Why are you being so stubborn?” I ask agitatedly, taking a step back from him. “As I’ve said before, we will end up in a bed together at some point in our lives. Why prolong the inevitable?”
“Because I want our first time together to mean something more than just satisfying a physical urge for you, Helena. I want you to feel it in here,” he says, placing his right hand over my heart.
“And how do you know I can feel anything there besides hate?” I ask in a whisper, because even I don’t know the answer to my question.
“If you can hate with all your heart, then you can love just as fiercely,” Cade declares. “Hate is only a feeling, just like love. I think you’ve simply been programmed to hate for so long, you don’t realize you’re capable of more than that. You’ve never really had a reason to love anyone or anything, but now you do. Let me show you a world where love can be a permanent part of your life. I would pledge my love and my life to you, Helena, if you would only do the same.”
“Are you asking me to marry you?” I ask flabbergasted. “If you are, the answer is a resounding no!”
“Of course I’m not proposing to you, Helena,” Cade replies, looking frustrated by my response to his heartfelt sentiment. “If I ever decide to do that, you’ll know it. What I’m asking is that you open your heart to me and allow for the possibility that you can love me back.”
“And if I at least ‘allow for the possibility,’ as you say, will that make you happy?”
“Yes, if you really mean it. If you’re just planning to tell me you will without actually meaning it, then don’t say it. I don’t particularly want to be lied to by you.”
“How will you know the difference?” I challenge him. “I could just pretend to go along with what you want from me in order to ease your mind and make you more pliable to my will.”
“Do you honestly think I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference? Have you forgotten that I can tell a truth from a lie?”
“Actually, I had forgotten about that annoying little trait of yours,” I confess. “Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to tell the truth then. I will allow for the possibility that my heart can be opened by you and that it might be able to learn how to love. However, I want it noted that I don’t believe such a miracle will occur, but I will allow for the possibility if it will put an end to this conversation.”
Cade grins, looking quite satisfied with himself. “That’s all I want from you, Helena. As long as you don’t purposely try to lock me out of your heart, we have a chance to find happiness.”
“Would you be at all insulted if I told you I thought you were deluding yourself?”
“No,” he replies with a shake of his head, “I’m not insulted. I don’t particularly concern myself with what others think of me. As long as I keep true to my own beliefs, whatever anyone else thinks of me is simply their opinion.”
“I’m sure your brother War Angels consider you delusional as well,” I say with certainty. “If they haven’t said it to your face, they’re definitely thinking it behind your back.”
“Are you always so cynical?” he asks, looking at me with a great deal of annoyance.
“Can you honestly stand there and tell me that any of them are pleased that I’m your soul mate?”
Cade remains silent for a moment before answering. “No. I can’t say that they’re happy about the situation. I normally see pity in their eyes whenever the subject is brought up.”
“They should pity you. You’re stuck with the one person in the universe who has a numb heart where the subject of love is concerned. Even I pity you to a certain extent, Cade.”
“Well, don’t waste a lot of time feeling sorry for me just yet,” he says, walking up to me and placing his hand on my left shoulder. “I still have a chance to make you realize you feel something for me, even if you don’t want to admit it.”
Cade phases us again in his stubborn attempt to find a place on Earth that we can both at least agree to like.
I find myself standing next to a large mangled heap of iron. I have an intimate knowledge of this place since Lucifer visited it religiously at least once a year.
“And why would someone with a sunny disposition such as yourself find the remnants of the Eiffel Tower beautiful?” I have to ask. “You do realize most humans consider it a gloomy reminder of what happened during the Great War, don’t you?”
“I know that,” Cade replies as he looks up at the mammoth pile of twisted metal. “But there’s still beauty in what it once represented.”
“And what is that exactly?”
“Love,” he states simply. “Thousands of lovers declared their feelings to one another on this exact spot. There aren’t many places in the world where that can be said.”
“I have to admit that this site could almost pass as a place I don’t detest,” I acknowledge. “Unfortunately, Lucifer and Jess tainted this particular wonder of the world for me.”
“How so?”
“Don’t you remember that intimate little scene I showed everyone starring Jess and Lucifer?” I ask. “Lucifer always brought Jess here on her birthdays while she was alive. Even after she died, he continued to come here on her birthdays to pay tribute to his memories of her. If it weren’t for those detestable facts, you would have found a place we could call our own.”
Cade looks troubled by this news. I’m sure he thought the destructive force the Eiffel Tower represented would be attractive to me while the romantic legends surrounding it appealed to his foolish, idealistic heart.
“You had the right idea,” I tell him to ease the blow of his disappointment. “You shouldn’t feel bad that you didn’t remember the connection it has for me to Lucifer.”
“Give me a minute,” Cade says as he takes a seat on a flat spot of the tower. “I know I can think of a place we can both enjoy.”
I sit down beside him to slip my sandals back onto my feet. When I stand back up, I grimace at the feel of sand between my toes. I know no amount of brushing will get the sand off my skin. I’ll need to take a bath in order to rid myself of the grit.
Cade stands from his seat and immediately twines the fingers of one hand with mine.
“I know where to go,” he declares proudly. “And if this place is a bust too, then I’ll give up. I promise that I won’t force you to go anywhere else with me.”
“You would give up on your quest that readily?” I ask, feeling a sense of displeasure that he would cease this endeavor so easily.
“No. I’m not giving up exactly. I’m just confident that you’ll like the next place I take you to.”
“Well then,” I say, feeling more satisfied with his cockiness, “show me this wonder on Earth that you believe I will at least like.”
Cade smiles and phases us to our next location.
Chapter 7
Thick gray storm clouds cover the sky, and a rumble of thunder vibrates the green grass beneath my feet, causing them to tingle slightly from its might. As I survey the corner of the world Cade has phased us to, all I see is a variety of tombstones dotting the landscape for as far as my sight will allow. It’s a tapestry stitched by death himself in its most blatant form.
“A graveyard?” I ask, slightly bemused by his choice of locale.
“Do you find anything
disagreeable here?” he asks, expectantly awaiting my response.
I stand stock-still, allowing myself to be filled with the unique aura of the place. Obviously I knew about the existence of cemeteries, but I have to admit this is the first time I’ve actually stood in one. There is a unique calm amidst the silence of the dead. Ever since coming to Earth, I’ve felt bombarded by the hustle and bustle of humanity’s constant need to get ahead in life. It seems as though they are always doing something and being exceedingly noisy about it. However, this place holds a tranquility I haven’t experienced on Earth before now.
“Well?” Cade prods as another roar of thunder shakes the ground, a little harder this time.
“Congratulations. You actually did find a place that I can tolerate on this planet,” I answer, feeling proud of him for succeeding in a task I thought impossible. It makes me wonder what else he might be able to succeed at that I previously labeled as being unachievable.
A triumphant smile graces Cade’s face, involuntarily causing my heart to skip a beat. I quickly avert my gaze because I feel sure that’s the only way to break the spell he seems to have cast over me. I feel his hand reach underneath my chin as he gently lifts and turns my head back toward him.
“Why are you looking away?” he whispers, a raspy quality to his voice. The once-proud smile that graced his lips only seconds ago is gone now, but there is a lingering twinkle of happiness in his eyes that affects me just the same. I don’t feel in complete control of my feelings, and that is something I do not like.
I take a slow step away from Cade to put some distance between us, turning my back to him as I begin to walk through the cemetery.
“Tell me,” I say, eager to change the subject so he understands that an answer to his question will not be forthcoming, “why would this be a place that you like to visit? It’s not exactly happy or beautiful. You’ve already proven that you prefer colorful locales. This seems a bit gloomy for you.”
“It might sound strange, but I like walking through cemeteries from time to time.”
