by SJ West
“We need to kill Helena,” Jered says in a cold, distant voice. “She needs to die for what she’s done.” He looks at me with a gaze as detached as his words. “The sword you brought back from alternate Earth, where is it?”
“Why?” I ask, feeling a little frightened of Jered in this moment. I don’t feel scared for my own safety, but I am fearful he’ll do something reckless that will place his life in danger.
“It might be the only way to kill her,” he says. “She has to be stopped before she ruins even more lives!”
“How is it going to look,” Lucifer begins, “if you, one of Anna’s most trusted friends, kill the Empress of Nimbo? Do you imagine people will just look the other way? Whether we like it or not, the world adores Helena because they believe she’s on their side. In their eyes, Anna is the enemy. Anything you do against Helena right now will only serve her needs and prove to the world that Anna is the one they need to be frightened of. Is that what you want, Jered? To place Anna in a worse position than she’s already in?”
“No,” Jered says tersely, “of course it isn’t. But how else do you expect us to get rid of Helena if it isn’t in a coffin?”
“I don’t have an answer for you,” Lucifer admits. “But a resolution to this problem will present itself in time.”
“How can you say that so confidently?” I have to ask.
“Because I don’t believe my father would allow you to suffer like this for no good reason or for very long,” Lucifer states as a matter of fact. “I’m sure He has a plan. We’ll simply have to bide our time and handle things as best we can until He decides to share it with us.”
It raises my spirits to see my father so full of faith in God’s design for the future. I take heart in that fact and silently pray that God does indeed have a plan.
Chapter 15
We do our best not to ruin the rest of Lucas’ party. Malcolm and I decide against telling the children what happened to Virga or the reason the War Angels all had to leave so suddenly. They will learn the truth soon enough, and now isn’t the time to bring up such horrors. The short period of time that children are able to remain innocent of the world’s troubles is precious. Once lost, a child is no longer a child and will have to face the fact that society is filled with dreadful acts of cruelty. I realize that Lucas has lost more of his innocence concerning the state of the world than most children, but I still feel as though I need to shield him from its terrors for as long as possible.
Brutus comes back near evening to take Bai and her brothers home with him. I have to admit that I’m slightly surprised Linn didn’t ask him to fetch them earlier in the day when Virga was destroyed. I was, after all, the focus of Helena’s diabolical plan. With me out of the picture, she will finally be able to absorb the Earth into her dominion. In a twisted sort of way, I can’t help but admire her tenacity. She is at the precipice of having everything she wants, leaving me with nothing. Not even my good name.
While I nurse the babies in my bedroom, Malcolm and Mason decide to go to Stratus to see if there is anything they can do to help. We haven’t received any reports from our War Angels since they left, and I fear the worst. Jess stays behind to lend me her support and help me deal with Liana. Jess has to hold the baby rattle Lilly gave me over my daughter’s head in order to keep her calm enough to take milk from my breast. It seems to be a reluctant act on Liana’s part, and the only reason she’s allowing me to touch her is so she can fill her belly with milk. I suppose I should take comfort in knowing that she at least has basic survival instincts.
“Maybe you should let me try to kill Helena,” Jess suggests. From the fire of hate in her eyes, I can tell she would do just that if I gave her my permission.
“It’s a tempting proposal,” I sigh, wishing I could take her up on the offer. “But we’ve already decided an attempted assassination would only help prove to the rest of the world that I can’t be trusted.”
“There has to be something we can do,” Jess says in frustration, looking pensive as she continues to move the rattle above Liana’s head. “And this little one, well, she’s just as precious as they come. We have to figure out a way to change her attitude toward you. I absolutely refuse to leave before we think of something that will help the two of you have a real relationship. I adore my sons, but my daughter is my heart. It’s like having a mini-me to pal around with all the time. I want you to have that connection with Liana, and I’m not going back to Heaven until we find a solution to this problem.”
“Thank you,” I say, unable to hold back a sob of relief. “You just don’t know how much that means to me, Jess.”
“Yes, I do,” she replies, reaching out to cup one side of my face. “Listen to me very carefully, Anna Devereaux. We will find a way to break Helena’s hold over your little girl. You have my promise on that, and I never go back on a promise. I’m too stubborn for my own good, which will most definitely work in your favor.”
I nod my head and try to temper my volatile emotions into something I can control.
“I’m so grateful you’re here,” I tell her. “Malcolm’s been wonderful about helping me deal with all of this, but it’s nice to be able to talk to another woman who understands what it means to be a mother.”
“Men can’t fully grasp the bond that forms between a mother and her children while she’s pregnant with them—not to say that they love our children any less than we do. I think they love them just as fiercely, but when you physically carry a baby inside you for so many months, there’s a connection built during that time that can’t be duplicated any other way.”
“I know what you mean,” I reply. I look down at Liam and Liana as they continue to suckle. No matter what might happen in the future, I know I will always love them and do everything within my power to make sure they have happy lives.
After the babies are through nursing, Jess helps me with changing their diapers. She has to continue to use the rattle with Liana as I handle her. In hindsight, I probably should have asked someone Helena doesn’t hate to help me take care of Liana. As I’m tucking them into the middle of the bed I share with Malcolm, there’s a soft knock on the door.
“Would you mind answering that?” I ask Jess while I finish up with the twins. “I told Lucas to come to me if he had trouble falling asleep.”
Jess walks over to the door and opens it.
“Well,” she says, as if the person who knocked should have been here before now, “I wondered how long it would take the three of you to show up.”
“We were waiting until the situation down here calmed down a bit,” I hear my mother tell Jess, “but that doesn’t seem to be coming any time soon, and we simply couldn’t make ourselves wait any longer.”
I quickly stand up straight, rush toward the door, and readily accept my mother’s awaiting embrace. Lilly and Caylin are standing directly behind her, looking happy to see me but also worried about my welfare.
“Oh, Anna,” my mother says, holding me tightly to her. “I wish there was something I could do to solve all of your problems.”
I pull away slightly to look into her eyes and immediately see how my tribulations are causing her distress.
“If I could just find a way to stop Liana from hating me,” I say on the verge of tears, “I would be doing a lot better.”
“We may be able to help with that,” Lilly tells me. Her words are hopeful, but her tone is cautious.
“How?” I ask, desperately wanting to believe that the miracle I need is at hand.
“I said ‘may,’ ” Lilly cautions, looking uncertain that the solution I crave will be an easy one to obtain.
“My mom pretty much told God He had better have planned ahead and given you a way to stop Liana from channeling Helena’s hate,” Caylin tells me, sounding proud that her mother took up for me with the Almighty Himself.
“And did He?” I ask, daring to hope for a positive answer.
“He says everything you need is right here on Earth,” Li
lly tells me, looking uncertain about how I will accept the information.
“It’s already here?” After Lilly nods, I ask, “I don’t suppose He gave you more of a hint than that?”
“No,” Lilly replies, but she doesn’t look overly concerned about her answer. “I don’t think it’s something that’s hidden from you, though. From the way He sounded, you have everything you need in your possession to make it happen.”
“Well, did He give you a hint as to what it might be? Is it an object? A certain food? A place I need to take her to?” A thousand possibilities run through my mind, but which one is the correct one?
Lilly shrugs her shoulders helplessly. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I just don’t know. I wish I could be of more help, but I can only do so much with the information He was willing to share with me.”
I let out a low growl in frustration. “I don’t see why He didn’t just tell you what needs to be done. Why does He have to be so aggravating most of the time?”
“He likes for His creations to think for themselves,” my mother answers.
“Amalie is right,” Caylin tells me. “I think He feels a sense of pride when we figure problems out on our own.”
“Still,” Jess chimes in, “a hint every once in a while wouldn’t kill Him.”
We stand there together in a moment of mutual silence, each considering what the solution to my problem could be.
“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I want to see my grandbabies,” my mom says.
I escort my Heavenly visitors to the bed where Liam and Liana are still sleeping soundly.
My mom leans down and does the customary oohing and aahing over her grandchildren.
“Oh my goodness,” Lilly says as she looks at the babies. “I forgot how adorable newborns are. And twins, no less! I hope you and Malcolm are ready for a few sleepless nights when they start to teethe.”
“I haven’t even thought that far ahead,” I tell her. “With everything that’s going on, the furthest I can think into the future is tomorrow.”
Just as I turn away from Lilly, I see my mother leaning over Liana and picking her up.
“Mom, no!” I yell, but the warning comes a second too late.
As soon as my mother touches Liana, my daughter’s eyes fly open, and she begins to wail at the top of her lungs.
“Oh dear,” my mother says, quickly pulling her hands away from Liana. “She certainly has a set of lungs on her.”
“And a complete hatred of people Dad loves,” I tell her, grabbing for the baby rattle Lilly gave me as a wedding gift. I sit down on the edge of the bed and begin tilting the rattle back and forth above Liana’s head to calm her down.
“I didn’t realize my gift would be quite so useful,” Lilly tells me, sounding pleased. “Thank goodness I had it made for you.”
As I continue to sway the rattle back and forth and watch my daughter’s eyes follow its calming movements, I hear Jess gasp.
“That’s it!” she exclaims excitedly. “It’s been here the whole freaking time!”
I look up at her and notice she’s staring at the baby rattle in my hand. It suddenly dawns on me what she’s referring to as the solution.
“The rattle?” I ask.
“Of course!” Lilly says as if she should have thought of it herself. “I wondered why He didn’t put up more of a fight when I asked for it to be made. He knew you would eventually need it to help her.”
When I stop moving the rattle, Liana begins to wail again.
“How is the rattle going to help her?” I ask. “I can’t keep rattling it above her head for the rest of her life.”
“No, you most certainly can’t do that,” my mother agrees, looking thoughtful about the situation. “Have you tried just letting her hold the rattle without making the balls inside it chime?”
I shake my head, because doing something like that never even occurred to me. Since Liana is already upset, I tuck the rattle between her torso and right arm to test out our new theory. Almost instantly, she quiets. When she looks up at me, I no longer see pure hatred in her eyes. In fact, she begins to gurgle contentedly as if nothing is wrong and she’s seeing me for the first time. She begins to reach a hand out in an attempt to touch my face. The movement causes the rattle to fall away from her and roll onto the bed. Liana immediately drops her arm back down and begins to wail again as she stares at me.
I quickly retrieve the rattle and place it underneath her arm again. Liana stops crying, but I think her previous exertion is just too much for her. Her eyelids droop, and she’s soon fast asleep again.
“Okay,” I say quickly, thinking through what we’ve just learned, “the rattle seems to act as a buffer between Liana and Helena, but I can’t very well tie the rattle to Liana’s body all the time.”
“What if you could?” Jess says. “What if that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do?”
I shake my head. “I can’t do that to her, Jess.”
“No, you’re not understanding what I’m saying,” Jess replies with a small shake of her head. “All this time we’ve been thinking you were meant to bring the sword from alternate Earth back here to kill Helena with it, and maybe that’s one of its purposes. I don’t know for sure. But what if you were meant to bring it back to help with this problem too?”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m not following what you’re trying to tell me.”
“I think I do,” Caylin says excitedly, grinning from ear to ear as she looks at Jess. “The sword has Heaven’s fire, right?”
Jess nods excitedly. “Exactly!”
“And how does that help me?” I ask, listening closely to what they say next.
“That particular type of fire is the only one that can melt the metal that was used to make the rattle,” Caylin says. “It’s just like when we made the daggers to place the princes of Hell in stasis. We used the fire Jess and Leah were able to produce to melt the princes of Hell’s crown pieces. Since the rattle was made in Heaven too, we can use the fire the sword produces to melt it down into something Liana can wear all the time.”
“Like a bracelet or a necklace,” Jess suggests enthusiastically. “I know this will work, Anna! Everything inside me says it will.”
I gently slip the rattle out from under Liana’s arm and hand it to Jess.
“So how do we use the fire of the sword to transform this into something she can wear?” I ask.
Jess winks at me. “Luckily for you, I happen to know an excellent blacksmith. I’ve used him before, so I know he does good work.”
“Brutus.” I smile, remembering Malcolm telling me once that Brutus used to make weapons.
“I’ll grab the sword and have Jered take me over to Brutus’ house,” she says, already heading for the door. “Do you have a preference about the type of jewelry?”
“Maybe a necklace he can add links to as she grows up,” I suggest.
“Hmm, I think a bracelet would be better for a baby,” Lilly says. “A necklace could become tangled and cause her problems. Plus, it could just slip off her head accidentally.”
“You make some good points,” I agree. “Okay, a bracelet then.”
“A magical bracelet coming right up!” Jess walks out the door to complete her mission as quickly as possible. I silently urge her to move faster.
“Do you think this will work?” I ask my mother, desperately needing her to tell me exactly what I want to hear.
“I know it will,” she replies with a confident smile. “And not a moment too soon, because I want to be able to hold that little girl one day without her crying when I touch her.”
“You and me both,” I say, unable to hold back my tears of joy at discovering a possible solution to the problem. “I wish Malcolm was here so I could tell him about this.”
My mother begins to eye Liam surreptitiously. “Now that little one won’t cry if I pick him up, will he?”
I shake my head. “No. I think Liam has to be the sweetest baby to ever exist.
”
My mother smiles. “That’s exactly what I thought about you when you were born.”
“I think every mother thinks that way about her babies,” Lilly says as she watches my mom lift a still-slumbering Liam up into her arms, lovingly cradling him to her.
“I know I did when Kate was born,” Caylin agrees. She smiles as if remembering the first time she held her baby girl. “At the time, I couldn’t imagine holding anything more perfect in my arms.”
“I was a little surprised you didn’t come down with Aiden,” I say to Caylin.
“I wanted to give him some time alone with Liam,” she tells me. “Andel was such a big part of his life. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to split his attention between us.”
“I’m thankful that God has assigned Aiden to Liam, but the fact that He felt like He needed to scares me,” I acknowledge.
“I know you and Malcolm will raise the twins to be strong enough to handle anything that happens next,” Lilly tells me. I try to absorb as much of her conviction as I can. Considering the events of the last few days, my supply of self-confidence is sorely lacking.
“I don’t want to fail them,” I admit.
“Every parent has the same exact fear,” she tells me. “All you can do is raise them the best way you know how and hope that you’ve done enough to prepare them for their future. And,” she says, looking at Caylin standing by her side, “you have to realize you can’t protect them from everything, even if that’s all you want to do.” Lilly looks back at me. “I think one of the hardest lessons to learn is that sometimes you have to let your children fall in order to prove to themselves how strong they can be without you.”
“I’m not sure I can do that,” I say.
“You don’t always get a choice.”
There’s a moment of silence as I think about Lilly’s words to me. Considering the chaotic life Malcolm and I lead, I know our children will eventually have to learn how to deal with conflict on their own. Whether it’s right or not, I know I will always try to protect them. It’s just the way I am.
