by Duane Boehm
Chapter 24
The creaking of the rocking chair resonated in such perfect time that a clock could have been synchronized to the sound. Joann provided the motion. If not in bed, she could be found in the chair rocking for hours. She slept very little and refused to take any more laudanum. Zack hadn’t worked since the death of Tess and spent his days trying to comfort his wife. She only spoke when necessary and spent the rest of her time mourning in silence. Zack sat at the table and watched Joann rock. Her hair looked stringy and greasy and the darkness under her eyes gave the impression of a life lived hard. The muscles in her face had the slack appearance of a drunk stumbling across a room.
Zack had pushed his grieving aside, having his hands full worrying about his wife. He had the help and support of all the others in their circle of family and friends, but nobody seemed able to help Joann try to carry on with her life. Nothing he or anybody else did seemed to work.
Walking to the rocker and squatting down, Zack said, “Why don’t I heat you some water and you can take a bath? It’ll make you feel better.”
“Maybe later. I just want to rock right now,” Joann said.
“Can I get you something to eat?” he asked. Her lack of appetite since the funeral only added to his list of growing concerns.
“Zack, I’m fine, really. You should go work,” she said without breaking the rhythm of her rocking.
Standing up, Zack walked to retrieve his hat. He contemplated telling Joann about Mary’s baby in hopes of cheering her up, but feared the news would more than likely cause the opposite effect.
“I’m just going outside. I won’t be gone long,” Zack said before walking outdoors.
Zack walked to the pool made by the stream and sat down on a rock that made for a decent seat. He managed a smile as he thought about all the times that he and Joann had gone skinny–dipping there when working on the homestead. Tess had probably been conceived during one of those frolics. Those days seemed liked a million years ago when he thought about Joann sitting in the rocker now. Water welled up in his eyes and he started to cry. He wasn’t sure if the tears were for himself, Joann, or Tess – maybe for everybody. The loss of his daughter and the worrying about Joann had left him feeling old and worn down. He tried to keep Tess out of his mind as much as possible. What good could come from dwelling on her? As Sarah used to say, Joann was a spirited girl, and the sight of her now broke his heart. He knew she needed time to grieve, but the depths of her sadness left him fearing that he’d never get his old Joann back. And he needed that hope right now to get out of bed each day and put one foot in front of the other.
Walking back to the cabin, Zack watched as Abby pulled up on the buckboard with Winnie and Chance. He stopped walking and blew out a big breath of air, relieved to see that help had arrived. Abby climbed down and helped the children off the wagon. She stood there waiting for Zack to walk to her.
“How is she?” Abby asked.
“She’s going to wear a hole in the floor from all that rocking. I can’t even get her to bathe. Abby, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Zack said.
“Stay out here and keep an eye on Winnie and Chance and I’ll go take care of her. Don’t give up. It’ll get better in time. How much time is the question,” Abby said.
Zack only shrugged. He looked so helpless that Abby had to hug him. Long ago she’d come to love Zack as a son and his struggles made her want to fix his problems as she would Chance’s skinned knee. Zack was a good, brave man and seeing him struggling with what life had thrown his way affected Abby as much as Joann’s mourning did.
Abby marched into the cabin to find Joann still rocking. Her daughter looked over at her and slightly nodded her head. Walking in front of the rocker, Abby scrutinized Joann and wished that she possessed some magical power to make all the hurt all go away or that she could fix the problem with a good ass chewing, but resigned herself to the fact that time and patience were the only things that would fix Joann.
“I going to heat some water so you can bathe,” Abby declared.
“Maybe later, Abs. I’m fine,” Joann said.
“That wasn’t a question. It was an order. Your hair looks as if you used it to wipe out a skillet after cooking bacon. I bet you stink too. Cleanliness and grieving don’t have anything to do with each other and no daughter of mine is going to be nasty,” Abby said before heading to warm some water.
By the time the water had heated, the creaking of the rocker had about gotten on Abby’s last nerve. As far as she could tell, Joann hadn’t missed a single beat in her motion. Abby walked over and held out her arms as if encouraging a toddler to take its first step. Joann grasped her mother’s hands and pulled herself to her feet. Abby unbuttoned the back of Joann’s dress and pulled it over her head. Joann finished undressing herself and followed Abby to the tub. She stepped in and sat down meekly as Abby poured water onto her daughter’s hair and began scrubbing.
“Abs, I don’t want no more babies. Winnie and Chance will have to give you grandchildren,” Joann said.
“I see. That’ll be a long wait,” Abby said.
“I’m thinking of moving back to Wyoming and living with Momma and Poppa. I love Zack and it wouldn’t be fair to him to live that kind of life with me, but no man is going to cause me to have another baby,” Joann said in a voice that sounded childlike.
Abby paused in her scrubbing and gazed at the back of her daughter’s head. “Joann, you’re not thinking rationally right now. Just give things some time before you make up your mind about the future,” she said.
“I can’t bear to write Momma and Poppa, have you?” Joann asked.
“I have. I haven’t heard back from them yet,” Abby answered.
“I couldn’t ever replace Tess. That’s what another baby would be and it might die too. I had a perfect baby and I don’t need another one,” Joann said just before Abby rinsed out the soap.
Satisfied that she had the suds out, Abby began scrubbing Joann’s hair again. “You’re entitled to do all the grieving that you need to do. That’s only natural, but mourning and wasting your life away in that rocker are not the same thing. Life has got to go on and you need to start doing your part. Zack is entitled to a warm meal and clean clothes. It’s not right to expect him to do everything. He’s suffering just like you are. Grieve for Tess. Grieve for your and Zack’s loss, but don’t stop living. Everybody is here for you, but we can’t do it all. You have to help yourself.”
Joann did not speak, but her shoulders began to tremble and then she sobbed. Abby didn’t say anything. She finished washing Joann’s hair and rinsed it again.
“Okay, your hair is finished. Now I want you to scrub that body clean. I’ll go find you some clothes and then I want you to go outside and spend some time with Winnie and Chance. You’re their big sister and they need to see you act like one. Winnie has been worried to death about you and she needs to see that you are okay. Sometimes we have to pretend for the younger ones. Okay?” Abby said.
Joann nodded her head as she soaped her rag. After she finished bathing, she toweled off and put on the clothes that Abby had picked out. Walking to the bedroom, she emerged with her hair combed. She didn’t say anything, but seemed content to follow her mother’s orders.
As she headed towards the door, Abby said, “Send Zack in here. I’m going to cook that boy a meal. He looks about half–starved to me.”
By the time that Zack walked into the cabin, Abby was heating a skillet.
“I’m making you a breakfast even if it’s the afternoon. You look like you could use some bacon and eggs to me,” she said.
“That does sound good. I see you got her cleaned up,” Zack said.
“I did. I think she might do a little better with taking orders right now than asking her to do something. It’ll give you a chance to be the bossy one in this marriage for a change,” Abby said, trying to sound lighthearted.
“Abby, do you think she’s going to be alright? Will I ever get
my old Joann back?” he asked.
“You’ve got a long road in front of you, but just be patient. You need to think of yourself too and grieve for your loss. If you don’t now, it’ll surely come back to bite you later. Joann did listen to what I said and I believe it helped. I just think she’s going to have to hear the sermon a few times before she becomes a true believer,” Abby said and gave her son–in–law a maternal smile.
Chapter 25
Noise from the booming business of a Friday night in the Last Chance Saloon drifted up into the bedroom. Sam slept peacefully in his bassinet, oblivious to the sounds coming from below him. Finnie staggered upstairs early, tired and ready to call it a night. The baby had kept Mary and him up the previous night. Mary had been able to nap with the baby during the day and she was now well rested and itching to get out of the bedroom for a while.
“Finnie, get you some sleep. I’m going downstairs to help out. They’re shorthanded and from the sound of things, I’m sure they could use me to pour some beers,” Mary said.
“Are you sure you’re up to being on your feet that much?” Finnie asked as he sprawled out on the bed.
“I feel fine. A beer mug isn’t nearly as heavy as Sam and I’ve been cooped up in this room for too long,” she answered.
“Okay, then,” Finnie said in a voice that sounded half–asleep already.
“If Sam starts crying, come and get me,” Mary said as she studied herself in the mirror and pinned up her hair.
Walking down the stairs, Mary scanned the room with the practiced eye of a well–seasoned businesswoman. Even for a Friday night, the place looked busier than usual. She walked behind the bar and said, “Who needs a drink?”
Many of the cowboys congratulated Mary on the baby and offered to buy her a drink, which she declined. From across the room she locked eyes with Kurt Tanner. The cowboy smiled and made a salute with his beer mug before he walked to the bar. His step had a slight stagger as he moved. Mary had never seen the young man drink more than a few beers, but that obviously wasn’t the case this night.
“Well, look at you. You had your baby and you’re already looking as lovely as a schoolgirl. Congratulations. I hear you had a boy. Can I buy you a drink?” Kurt said with a nearly undetectable slur.
“Thank you, but I’m not drinking,” Mary said, noticing that Kurt was drunk enough to stare boldly at her breast.
“I’ll have me a beer, if you please,” he said and winked at her.
Fetching the beer, Mary placed it in front of Kurt. The cowboy reached into his pocket to retrieve his money and raised his hand above the bar as he picked through the coins. Mary spied four Double Eagles, two Eagles, some other coins, and a gold ring. Kurt fished out the two bits to pay her and flashed his patented smile that he thought charmed the ladies.
“Enjoy,” Mary said.
“I always enjoy your beer and your company. I’d have courted you if I’d gotten to this town sooner,” Kurt said, his inhibition gone.
“That’s the story of my life – a day late and a dollar short,” Mary said before another patron called out for a beer and she used the request for an excuse to get away.
Finnie never came for Mary and she worked until the crowd thinned considerably. She got the attention of Delta and the other bartender and said, “I need to go check on Sam. Good job tonight.”
“Give that sweet baby a kiss for me,” Delta said as Mary started up the stairs.
The sound of Finnie snoring echoed down the hall and as Mary entered their bedroom he never stirred. Sam slept also, but restlessly. Mary picked him up and offered Sam a breast. The child greedily suckled, making her smile. She’d already teased Finnie that Sam liked her tits even better than he did. Sam nursed until he fell asleep. Mary gently put him in the bassinet, changed into her nightgown, and crawled into bed next to Finnie. She stared into the dark hoping that she could go to sleep. Tomorrow looked to be a big day.
In the morning, Mary insisted that she and Sam accompany Finnie to the jail. Finnie eyed his wife suspiciously as she darted around the room getting ready.
“Are you sure we should take Sam out?” Finnie asked.
“Of course we can take him out. He can’t stay in here forever. A little sunlight would do him some good. Besides, I’m supposed to bring him to see Doc today anyways,” Mary said.
“Why all the interest in going with me to the jail?” he asked.
“I figured something out last night and I need to tell Gideon,” she said.
“You know I’m quite capable of repeating to Gideon what you know,” Finnie said with a touch of dismay.
“I found it out and I want to tell it. And besides, it’ll give Gideon the chance to go ahead and tell me that he told me so,” Mary said.
Finnie looked at his wife quizzically, but didn’t say anything more. They hadn’t been married that long of a time, but long enough for him to know when his situation was futile.
The family walked to the jail and entered.
“About time you got here,” Gideon said before looking up from his desk to see Mary and the baby.
“The boss has some big news that she won’t share with me,” Finnie said defensively as he and Mary took a seat.
With his curiosity aroused, Gideon looked attentively at Mary, waiting for her to speak.
“The saloon had a booming business last night and I went down to help after Sam went to sleep. Kurt Tanner came up to flirt as he always does. First time I’d seen him a little drunk. He went to pay me for a beer and pulled out over a hundred dollars and Colin’s gold rope ring,” Mary said and paused to let the news sink in.
Gideon leaned back in his chair, habitually rubbing his scar and blowing up his cheeks as he exhaled. “I always thought there had to be a third person in on killing that old sheepherder. What kind of fool would carry the ring around with him?” he mused.
“I never claimed Kurt was the smartest cowboy I ever met. Maybe he just liked it and wanted to keep for himself and he was drunk enough last night to get careless,” Mary answered.
“Didn’t I tell you about him? I thought something just wasn’t quite right about Kurt from the get go. He always struck me as shady,” Gideon said.
Mary turned to Finnie and smiled. “I told you that he’d gloat,” she said.
Making a sarcastic face, Gideon mused, “I wonder if that was Colin’s money too.”
“Personally, I never bought into Colin having money. Seemed to me to be something that old men playing checkers made up to have a conversation,” Mary said.
“Kurt Tanner is one of our rustlers,” Finnie said.
“That’s what I was about to say,” Gideon added as he looked at his deputy.
“I knew if I led you boys to water that you’d be smart enough to drink. I’d bet my bottom dollar that Danny and Lacey are his accomplices,” Mary said, smiling wryly as she spoke.
“I still haven’t heard you admit that you actually misjudged a man. You always take such pride in your abilities to size us all up and make sure that we know about it,” Gideon chided.
“You’re an ungrateful man if I ever saw one. The ranchers are about ready to riot and I came here to help. You’re more concerned with me admitting to a mistake instead. Yes, Gideon Johann, I was wrong about Kurt Tanner. I thought he just needed a little nurturing,” Mary said in a tone that failed to match her chastising words.
Gideon leaned back and smiled. “That there was better than solving the crime. I love to hear a woman admit that she was wrong. Especially you,” he teased.
“You didn’t solve the crime, I did. And it’s been said many times before, but bears repeating – Gideon Johann, you are a smug man,” Mary said, failing to conceal a smile.
Feeling left out, Finnie said, “Would you like me to leave so you two could have a little private time?”
“No, sir. She’s your problem, not mine,” Gideon said.
“I’m taking Sam to see Doc. You two can take it from here, I’m sure,” Mary sai
d as she arose from her seat.
“Mary, thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Gideon said.
Mary stopped and smiled. “I wouldn’t have this baby if you hadn’t brought that little, lovable Irishman sitting there to town. Sounds like a pretty fair trade to me,” she said and walked out.
“So do we go arrest him?” Finnie asked to change the subject with the hope that Gideon didn’t see how embarrassed he felt over Mary’s affection.
Gideon could see the color come to Finnie’s face, but decided not to tease him any further. “No, I don’t want him to get off with only possessing stolen property. We’re going to catch him rustling and get the rest of his gang too. Maybe we’ll get to arrest that detective and clerk in Alamosa also. That would make my day,” he said.
“So we’re going to take turns spending our nights watching his place, aren’t we?” Finnie asked.
“Unfortunately. When one of us sees them stealing cattle, we can go get the other one. We know where they’re headed and it’s not like they can move a herd that fast,” Gideon said.
Finnie sighed and his shoulders slumped. “Sounds like the waste of a good bed to me,” he said.
∞
Mary carried the baby across the street and into the doctor’s office. The doctor sat at his desk reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. He peered over his spectacles and smiled.
“Good morning, Mary. I wasn’t expecting you this early,” Doc said.
“I couldn’t pass up seeing my favorite doctor as soon as possible,” Mary teased.
“I’m going to believe I’d be your favorite even if this town had more doctors than me. Bring Samuel over to the table,” he said.
Placing the baby on the examination table, Mary unwrapped the blanket engulfing Sam and stepped aside for the doctor. Doc grabbed his stethoscope and rubbed the chest piece against his palm until it warmed. He then placed it on Sam’s chest and began to listen. The doctor moved all around the chest and stomach until satisfied with his work.
