by Beth Ehemann
“You okay?” I looked up at Fred, who was sitting next to Sophia.
He nodded quickly, taken aback by my question. “I’m fine.”
“I know that was hard to hear—that part about wanting a dad. I think she’s just stressed right now. She didn’t mean it,” I offered, trying to justify Kacie’s choice of words.
“It’s the truth. I’m not her dad and I can’t take it personally that she wants to get to know him.” He reached up and swiped at his eye, clearing his throat. “Doesn’t change the way I feel about her.”
A small smile crept across Sophia’s face as she squeezed Fred’s bicep and rested her head on his shoulder.
I turned around to peek at the couch. The girls were reciting the movie word for word. Kacie stared off into space, clearly distracted. I turned back to Fred and Sophia, tilting my head quickly toward the family room. “We have our cake tasting tomorrow. I hope she’s talking to me by then. I’m as excited about that as she was about dress shopping.”
Sophia chuckled and shook her head. “Oh, Brody, you’re too much.”
“Too much what?” Kacie came up behind me and hugged my waist.
I put my hands over hers and squeezed back. “I was just telling your mom how I’m skipping breakfast in the morning so I can eat as much Oreo cake as I want at Pearl’s tomorrow.”
Kacie gasped and flew around to the front of me, a huge grin displayed on her face. “Oh my God! I forgot we have our cake tasting tomorrow.”
“Yep.” I bent down and kissed her adorable crinkled nose. “I’ve already decided I’m voting for the Oreo one, but I’m still going along for all the free samples.”
“Mom,”—Kacie turned around to face Sophia—“I totally forgot. Are you able to watch the girls tomorrow?”
“We could always ask Uncle V?” I joked.
“No.” Fred frowned.
“Yes, I’m free.” Sophia kissed Fred’s forehead, right on the pink and white Hello Kitty. “Just bring me back some free samples, okay?”
I never thought I’d say this, but I couldn’t get to work fast enough. The last couple months of wedding planning had been so hectic that the chaos of the hospital actually calmed me. Plus, I’d accepted a position in the Labor & Delivery unit, and this job definitely came with some perks. Something about holding a brand new, minutes-old baby as his tiny pink body squirmed in my arms, and watching him open his eyes for the first time ever, just made all the problems outside of those four walls seem trivial.
It’d been two weeks since I received the letter from my dad, and I still hadn’t decided what to do with it. Every time I made up my mind, within a couple hours I would talk myself out of it. Brody’s words kept ringing in my ear. He was right—I didn’t know my dad at all. But what if… what if this was my shot at having a real relationship with my dad?
“Different department but the same glazed over look on your face.”
I knew that voice instantly, even before the wadded-up glove hit me in the side of the head. Turning to my right, Darla’s smiling face greeted me.
“Hey! Long time, no see.” I rushed over and threw my arms around her neck. “I’ve missed your face.”
She hugged me back quickly. “All right, enough, enough. You know feelings make me ill.”
Refusing to let go, I giggled against her. “Nope. Not done yet. Deal with it.” I really did miss working with her every day, more than I’d realized until that moment. After another minute, I released her.
“Ugh.” She huffed. “I thought I was gonna have to have you surgically removed.” She ironed out her scrubs with her hands.
I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms. “How have you been? How are things downstairs?”
“They’re okay.” She rolled her eyes, grabbing the bag of chips off the counter.
“Those aren’t mine.”
“Like I give a shit.” She growled, shoving a chip in her mouth.
A happy sigh left my mouth. “I really have missed you. And your attitude.”
We’d only seen each other a handful of times since I moved upstairs. Between different floors and opposite schedules, we barely even bumped into each other anymore, except for the one time last month she hid behind my car in the parking garage. Just as I got to my car and opened the door, she jumped out and scared me so bad that I literally peed my pants.
“Seriously.” She glared at me mid-chew with a pile of chips in her mouth. “Knock it off. What happened to you? You got engaged and now you’re Suzy Sunshine?”
“Pretty much.” I laughed. “You gonna come to my wedding?”
“Depends when it is. My social calendar’s pretty full,” she answered dryly.
“You’re such a brat. We both know you wouldn’t pass up the chance to see Viper in a tux.”
“Please.” She threw her head back and laughed. “His clothes just get in the way.”
I looked at my watch. “Aren’t you getting off late?”
“Yeah, we were swamped down there this morning, but it’s calm now. Huge construction accident brought six guys in with minor to moderate injuries.” The chip bag crinkled as she shoved her hand in again. “I was really hoping one of them had a leg injury so I could take their pants off, but no dice.”
“How can you possibly be walking around horny when you’re together with Viper, the walking hard-on?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about us being together?”
“Then what are you?”
A Cheshire grin slowly crept across her face as she rolled her top lip in between her teeth. “We are simply two grown, consenting individuals, who happen to enjoy each other’s genitalia… and tongues.”
“Uh… I think I came up here at the wrong time.” Zach had rounded the corner, but stopped suddenly, throwing his hands up in front of him.
Darla and I looked at each other for a split second before bursting into laughter.
“You’re fine. Come on over,” I tried to say in between giggles as I sat down on my chair behind the nurse’s station.
“What’s up with you?” Darla asked Zach, turning on the charm. “Haven’t seen you much lately,”
He ran his hands through his dirty blonde hair and let out a heavy sigh. “I know. I’ve been working so hard on trying to get this dependency program moving over in the East Building. I’ve been begging for sponsors, trying to secure funding. The hospital is behind it, but there’s a lot of politics involved, so I’m trying to do as much as I can on my own. In between that I’m trying to see the girls as often as I can. Oh, and there’s that working thing that actually pays my bills.” He laughed. “I try to do that as much as I can too.”
“I’m proud of you.” I smiled. “Once you get this thing up and running, it’s gonna be great.”
“Thanks. It’ll be small to start, but baby steps, right?” He tapped his hands nervously on the counter. “I actually wanted to talk to you about the girls, if you have a second?”
“Yep.” I took a quick peek at the monitors. “I only have two mommies and they’re both sleeping.”
“Before you start,” Darla jumped in before Zach could talk, “I’m gonna head out.” She blew me a kiss. “We’ll catch up soon.”
I blew her a kiss back and swiveled my chair to face Zach head-on. “What’s up?”
“Funny you should say that, actually. My sister is up, from Kentucky. She just had a baby a couple months ago.”
“Awww. Tell her I said congrats.”
“I will.” He nodded, his eyes darting all over the place. “Anyway, her and her husband came up with the baby and they’re going to be here this weekend. I was wondering if I could have the girls overnight?”
I was happy with the place Zach and I were in. Over the last year, he’d visited with the girls a couple dozen times, always at my house or he’d just take them out for the day. I hadn’t been comfortable with him taking them to his apartment overnight, and up until this point, he’d let me drag it out, but I knew I couldn’
t dodge it forever.
Swallowing the selfish lump that had formed in my throat, I put on my most sincere fake smile and tried to sound as upbeat as possible. “Sure.”
He tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at me. “Thanks for that.”
“No problem.”
“No, not for letting me have them. Thanks for trying to sound happy about it.”
Cringing, I covered my face. “I’m sorry. Was I that obvious?”
“Kinda.” He laughed. “But I get it. It’s okay.”
I dropped my hands into my lap and looked up at him, feeling horrible. “It’s not you. I’m just not used to being away from them.”
“I know. I understand. If you’re not comfortable with it, Kacie, we can just skip it.”
“No,” I insisted. “You’ve been a constant part of their lives for almost a year. It’s time. I need to get over my issues.”
His face flushed as he dropped his gaze to the ground. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Excuse me,” a man’s voice called out. “My wife just woke up and said the contractions are getting really bad. She wanted me to ask if you can check her?”
“Absolutely.” I stood up and walked out from behind the desk area, whispering at Zach as I walked by. “We’ll talk later, okay? But let’s plan on that.”
He nodded and thanked me again.
Fast forward to Friday night and I was a nervous wreck. I’d packed, unpacked, then repacked the girls’ bags four times just to make sure they had everything.
“Kacie, they’re only going for two nights,” Brody teased as he watched me rifle through the bags and pull everything out for the fifth time.
“I know, but I want them to be comfortable and have their stuffed animals and—”
“Babe. They’re good.” He walked over and took Lucy’s pajamas out of my hand, gently tucking them back into her Princess Sofia duffel bag. “I know this is tough for you, but in the long run, as much as I hate to admit it, it’s probably best for them,” he said. I could see the tension in his jaw.
“Is this hard for you too?”
“Of course,” he admitted. “Selfishly, I want them to love me more than Zach. I know he’s their biological dad, but they’re such an important part of me, it would sting like a motherfucker if they ever chose him over me.”
I nodded and looked down at their duffel bags filled with four pairs of pajamas, stuffed animals, and toothbrushes.
“Kind of like it stung for Fred the other night,” Brody continued slowly.
My head snapped up as my eyes bore into his. “Huh?”
“I watched him when you went on and on about that letter from your dad. He didn’t say a word, but I know it must have been hard for him to listen to you talk about wanting a relationship with your real dad.”
“Oh, it’s different with Fred and me.” I waved him off, not wanting to think for a minute that I’d hurt Fred’s feelings.
“Really? How so?”
“For starters, I was twelve when we bought this place, and secondly, he wasn’t even with my mom until a couple years ago.”
“Get real.” He took Piper’s stuffed bunny out of the bag and threw it at me. “They may not have told you they were together, but those two have been going at it for years behind your back. And regardless of when they started seeing each other, he didn’t have to be making out with your mom at night to care about you.”
“I guess.” I shrugged.
A knock on the front door cut our conversation short. I took a deep breath and puffed my cheeks out as I exhaled. “It’s go-time.”
As we walked out of my room, the girls came flying out of theirs, racing each other to the front door.
“You got this, kid.” He rubbed my shoulders, walking behind me.
“I’m opening the door!” Piper bounced up and down excitedly.
Lucy pouted, sticking out her bottom lip. “No, I wanna open it.”
“I’m opening it.”
I hushed both of them as I walked past, grabbing the knob and pulling it.
Zach’s head snapped up quickly. “Hi,” he greeted nervously.
“Hey.”
I tried to sound peppy, but I knew I was failing miserably. I’d had the girls almost solely to myself for the better part of the last five years and I wasn’t yet ready to share, but it had to be done. Like a Band-Aid, just rip it off.
Zach offered his hand to Brody, who didn’t hesitate in shaking it. While those two would never be best friends, they’d been able to come to an understanding of sorts. Zach didn’t interfere or question Brody’s role in the girls’ lives, and Brody didn’t try to stop Zach from starting a relationship with them. I felt so blessed that they were able to see past their pride and embrace what was best for Lucy and Piper.
“So, what’s on the agenda this weekend?” Brody stood with his legs apart more than usual and puffed his chest out. While he wanted what was best for his Twinkies, every once in a while he still had to let his alpha flag fly just a little bit.
“My sister is in town with her husband and new baby girl. I think we’re gonna take the kids to the zoo and maybe let them swim at the hotel pool. Nothing too exciting.”
Pool? Oh my God. I hadn’t even entertained the thought of them swimming.
“Zach, they’ve taken lessons, but neither of them are great swimmers yet.” My voice squeaked as I felt the panic rising in my chest. Brody must have sensed it too and instinctively found my hand, squeezing it gently.
“You mentioned that before, so I went to the sports store and bought these really cool suits that have floaties built into the chest area and actually make it impossible for them to be submerged,” he said proudly. “They can go down the slides and go under real quick, but they immediately pop right back up. They’re pretty cool.”
“Those do sound cool. We should get them for here too, Kacie.” Brody did his best to sound reassuring.
Oddly enough, I didn’t need it. Just knowing that Zach had thought ahead and taken the time to run to the store and get the girls something that would both protect them and satisfy my crazy overprotectiveness, made me feel so much better. It also showed me just how much Zach had grown over the last year. In the beginning, it was rocky. He didn’t know them and they didn’t know him, but he did his best to try learn all he could about them and have fun every time he was over.
But now, this showed me he was thinking like a real dad. In that moment, I relaxed. Maybe my relaxation would last five minutes, maybe five days, but I knew Zach was capable of being a great father to them. With him and Brody behind them, Lucy and Piper were gonna conquer the freaking world.
“How you doing?”
Kacie sighed and let her head fall back against the couch, turning it to look at me. “Miserable.”
I pushed a stray piece of hair from her forehead. “For what it’s worth, you make miserable look beautiful.”
She smiled at me and leaned over, resting her head on my shoulder. “Thank God I have you here with me or I’d lose my mind.”
“I know.” I squeezed her knee gently. “You’re doing good.”
I lied. She wasn’t doing that great, but some lies are just necessary. Lucy and Piper had only been gone two hours and she’d already texted Zach twice to check on them. I had to give the guy credit though, he was being very patient with her.
“How long have they been gone?” she whined.
My head fell against the couch, mirroring hers. “About ten minutes longer than the last time you asked.”
She grimaced. “No way am I going to make it.”
“Yes, you will.” I stood up and grabbed her hands, pulling her up too. “Come on. I wanna show you something.”
“Where are we going?”
I pulled her along behind me, out the front door. “Hush. You’ll see.”
Holding her door open while she hopped up, I stood back and whistled for Diesel, who was sound asleep on Kacie’s porch. “Come on, you lazy bastard.”
He opened his eyes and slowly walked down the steps and over to my truck. I stared down at him and he stared up at me. “Well, come on. Get up there,” I ordered. Two steps back, one running start forward, and he leapt into the backseat of my truck, parking comfortably in the middle of the two booster seats in the back.
I walked around to my side of the truck and climbed up, smiling at Kacie, who was looking at me out of the corner of her eye.
Shooting her a big cheesy grin, I started the engine and pulled out of her driveway. After driving north for fifteen minutes or so, she asked again, “Are you gonna tell me where we’re going?”
“I want to check on something and figured you might want to see it too.”
That answer appeased her for the rest of the ride as we held hands in silence, with Kacie checking the time on her phone every ten minutes or so.
A little while later, we pulled into my parents’ farm. The gravel popped and leaves crunched under my tires as I drove the truck all the way up past the house and to the left, where vehicles don’t usually go.
“What are you doing?” Kacie exclaimed.
“You’ll see.” I winked at her.
I steered the truck carefully around my dad’s shop and past some tall grass until the barn came into view. Kacie grinned when she saw it, still with Will You Marry Me? #30 painted in red on the side. While the rain had faded it a tad, it wasn’t gone completely. I hoped it never would be.
“What are we doing here?”
Parking the truck, I jumped out and went around to her side to open the door. “Come on out and you’ll see.”
Diesel almost knocked her over as he jumped out and chased a flock of geese into the lake, which was tinted orange from the setting sun. Kacie checked her phone one more time and took my hand. We walked up to the barn doors and I turned to face her. “I have no idea what it’s going to look like in here, but I had a crew come out the last two days. They’ve been cleaning out all the old hay and cobwebs and stuff.”
Kacie’s lips curled into a wide smile as she bounced up and down excitedly, clapping her hands.
