Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Marc!” Rebekka called as she let herself in the apartment. When there was no answer, her voice became panicked. “Marc!” His car had still been in the underground lot when she had parked in his extra space, and now she spied his keys on the wall table near the coat rack, which still held his coat. So where is he?
She sprinted down the hall, stopping briefly at the open door to his office, where papers lay scattered over the desk. A burst of anger at André flooded her body. How dare he give him work when he needs rest!
Almost frantically, she ran to Marc’s bedroom. He was there lying on the bed in unnatural stillness. “Marc.” Her voice was now agonized. What had happened to him? It’s all my fault!
Then there was a movement on the bed and his eyes fluttered open. “Rebekka?” he said. “Thank heavens! I thought I had an intruder. I was lying here wondering how I was going to fight them off.” He struggled to a sitting position and reached for her. Rebekka came into his arms, trembling.
“What’s wrong? You look like you’re scared to death.”
She buried her face in his neck. “I thought I’d lost you.” In a rush she told of Josette’s phone call and her fear of finding him dead. He held her until she quit shaking and then kissed her tenderly.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered in her ear, sending a delicious shiver down her spine. “But will you forgive me if I say that I’m glad you came? I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
“Can I get you something to eat? I’m starved, and you look like you could use something. You’ve lost weight these past months.”
“I’m not hungry. Besides, I’m sure there’ll be plenty to eat at your parents’ tonight. Oh, that reminds me, I’d better call Josette. She was worried.”
“She does that a lot when she’s pregnant,” he said with a laugh. “Remember how the last time she called me to go find Zack when she couldn’t get him on his cell phone? She was sure he’d been hurt while showing real estate or whatever he was doing that day.”
Rebekka smiled in remembrance. “I think she was about due—just like this time.”
They laughed as she dialed Josette’s number. After Rebekka assured Josette they would be at the celebration, she and Marc put in a video and settled down to watch it.
“What about your work?” Marc asked during the opening credits. He twirled the engagement ring he had given her around her finger, watching the five diamonds catch the light.
She shrugged. “It can wait.”
For an hour and a half, all was right with the world. She and Marc were together and her contrasting feelings relegated to a remote corner of her mind. This was how their love was meant to be.
All too soon, it was time to go to Marc’s parents’ apartment for the celebration. “Why don’t you pack a few things and stay with them tonight?” Rebekka asked.
He snorted. “What for? I feel great.”
“Please.” Rebekka remembered her earlier fear and knew she wouldn’t sleep at all if he was here alone. “I’m worried about you.”
Seeing her determination, he yielded without further argument. “But only until Monday,” he warned.
They took her car to his parents, and it was only as they rode up the five flights in the elevator that she realized the inevitability of seeing André. Of course he would be invited, and given the insistence and curiosity of his expectant sister, it was doubtful he would refuse.
Marc’s mind was apparently also on his brother. “Have you seen André lately?”
Rebekka’s stomach flip-flopped. “No. But he’ll probably be here tonight.”
“Well, if you get a chance, check how he’s doing. He’s been looking rather miserable the past few times I’ve seen him. I think he’s having a hard time, but when I ask he brushes me off—I guess he thinks I have enough to deal with and doesn’t want to burden me. It’s probably about Claire. I know he misses her. But he might open up to you. Will you try? Maybe there’ll be something we can do to help him.”
“Sure,” she agreed, swallowing with difficulty. He couldn’t know what his request might mean to their relationship.
He hugged her. “Thanks. I knew I could count on you.”
André himself opened the door when they knocked, flanked by Ana and Marée. “Rebekka!” the girls cried, throwing themselves into her arms.
“What, none for me?” Marc teased.
“Daddy said not to pester you,” Ana announced.
Marée’s lips formed a pout. “He said you can’t lift us.”
“No, but I can still give hugs.” Marc knelt and gingerly hugged each girl.
Rebekka’s eyes met André’s. Why have you been avoiding me? he seemed to ask.
That’s a stupid question, she told him silently. But how could she know what he was thinking? Was she putting words into his mouth?
“You’ve been working too hard,” André said to her. “You’ve lost weight.”
Rebekka’s confusion returned in force upon seeing him. She wished she could turn around and go home.
“That’s what I think,” Marc said, climbing awkwardly to his feet.
André looked concerned. “Are you remembering to eat, Rebekka?”
“Yes,” she snapped, then felt immediately guilty at the expression in his eyes. Still, she couldn’t help adding, though a little more gently, “Honestly, you two treat me like I’m five years old. Besides, if anyone’s lost weight, André, it’s you.”
She pushed past them and went to the kitchen where most of the Perrault clan was already gathered. Some of Josette’s children were playing cards with Brandon, but Larissa sat on a chair with a pouting expression. “What’s with Larissa?” she asked Marie-Thérèse in a low voice.
“She wanted to go somewhere with her friend,” Marie-Thérèse whispered back. “Actually, she’s as much the reason for this party as Marc is. I didn’t want to let her hang out with that girl, so Josette and I came up with this. When she’s with this certain friend, I can’t trust Larissa to be where she says she’ll be. Last week, her friend had a party when the parents weren’t home. I only found out because I called the mother to make sure.” She sighed. “No way I want her involved in that. I wish something could change her attitude.”
Rebekka made a silent vow to pray for Larissa’s well-being and to go out of her way to include the girl in the conversation. Perhaps all Larissa needed was more love and acceptance.
Soon another table and more chairs were set up in the kitchen, including a padded easy chair for the guest of honor, and another one for Louis-Géralde, the hero of the hour. He had been released days before Marc, but would not be returning to the mission field for at least another month—and only if he held to an increasingly rigorous exercise schedule.
Rebekka basked in the Perrault family’s friendship and acceptance. She remembered too well how this apartment had been a haven for both her and Raoul while growing up. They had especially admired Jean-Marc for being what their father wasn’t. Or at least that was how she had seen her father then. Now she wasn’t so sure.
She searched the room. “Where’s Raoul?”
“I left a message with his wife,” Josette said, frowning. “But I honestly can’t tell you if it got through. I’m sorry to say this about her when I’ve only met her a few times, but she confuses me.”
“She confuses everybody,” André assured her.
Rebekka nodded in agreement. She and Raoul had not talked about Desirée since that day in the hospital. Whether he’d been purposely remote or their paths just hadn’t crossed, she couldn’t be sure. Yet he wouldn’t have stayed away tonight, not if he’d know about the special gathering to celebrate Marc’s release. Not only was Marc his partner, he was soon to be Raoul’s brother-in-law. Or supposed to be. Rebekka sighed inwardly. Her eyes burned and she blinked for relief.
“Rebekka, don’t you have anything to say about it?” Josette’s voice pierced her thoughts. She paused in passing out
the playing pieces for the next game.
“Yeah, after all, it is your wedding,” added Larissa.
Rebekka glanced at all the expectant faces. “What?”
“We were asking Marc when you were getting married,” Zack explained, popping a potato chip into his mouth. He put an arm around Josette’s shoulders. “Our baby is going to be born in another three weeks and while we don’t want to be too demanding, Josette would like to make it to her twin’s sealing.”
“So that means right away, or at least two weeks after the birth.” Josette looked at her expectantly. “My visiting teacher said she’d travel to Switzerland with us so she could watch the baby while we’re in the temple with you.”
A rush of noise filled Rebekka’s ears. She could feel Marc’s hand on hers tighten encouragingly. On the outside, the decision appeared simple, one she once would have made easily and confidently. But from across the table, André watched her silently.
“No,” Rebekka said.
“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Josette asked, puzzled. She shifted her body uneasily.
Marc’s eyes met hers. She focused on him for a long moment, loving him so much that she knew she had to tell him the truth—or at least some of her confusion. But not here, in front of all these people. She gazed around the room at the beloved family members anxiously awaiting her next words. Only André’s face was unreadable. Next to him sat Ariana, her stately features frozen into an expression of sympathy.
“I mean we haven’t talked about it. There hasn’t been time.” She smiled. “As soon as we do, you will all be the first to know.”
The subtle tension that had entered the room dissipated as quickly as it had come. The conversation rolled on. Rebekka stood, feeling Marc’s hand slip from hers. “I’m going to get some water,” she said. “I’ll be back.”
She walked to the cupboard for a clean cup and then to the refrigerator for ice water, though her insides were already cold. Eyes seemed to follow her, but she didn’t look around. Whose would they be? And how was she going to get through this evening?
She couldn’t. I have to tell him now. It’ll be better here for him with everyone nearby. I can’t bear to think of him being alone after I . . . After what? After she broke his heart?
Marc made it almost too easy. He came to stand beside her and put an arm around her waist. “I think I need a little air. How about a little walk to the balcony?”
“Okay.” She swallowed hard, letting him take her hand and lead her from the kitchen. No one seemed to notice their departure, but she knew differently. André would notice. So would Ariana.
There was only one balcony in the fifth floor apartment, and to get to it they had to go through the TV room. Once outside, Rebekka stood at the railing, gazing down at the few cars that ventured in front of the apartment building.
“Rebekka, what is it?” Marc asked, touching her elbow. “You’ve been acting odd for the past week or so. What’s wrong?”
Rebekka turned to face him, her heart feeling as if it would break. “I can’t marry you, Marc. At least not now.”
He blinked in disbelief. “Why? . . . But you love me!”
“I do love you,” she said miserably. “It’s not you, Marc. Please. There have been so many changes in our lives, and I need some time.”
“Time for what? Rebekka, I thought we agreed that we’d already wasted too much time.”
She struggled to stop the tears. “You’re right. I know you’re right. But, Marc, there’s something I need to be sure about. If I marry you, I want to do it without any doubts. With my whole heart.”
They stood in silence for a long while, and then, “Is there someone else?”
“This is between us. It’s about needing to be sure. I gave you years to find out how you felt about me. Now it’s me who needs time. Please.”
Marc looked stunned. Without waiting for him to reply, Rebekka fled. André was in the hall and he smiled quizzically at her, but she ran past him. From the kitchen she could hear laughter, and she was grateful she wouldn’t have to pass Marc’s family before she reached the door. What would they say about what she had just done to Marc? She didn’t wait for the elevator, but stumbled down the five flight of stairs, her tears blinding her path.
* * *
André was shocked at the change in Rebekka since he had last seen her in Marc’s apartment. She was only a shadow of herself, and the misery in her huge gray eyes was almost too much for him to bear. Worse, he had to watch from a distance as she sat by Marc, who occasionally held her hand and stared at her lovingly. André had to summon all his will to stay at the table and take part in the games and conversation.
When Marc and Rebekka left the room, André was restless. He paced the kitchen, wondering for the millionth time what would have happened if he had been more honest with Rebekka in the past. But what about Claire and his daughters? He could never give them up. The confusion that had been André’s constant companion for the past few weeks seemed to eat into his very soul.
He left the kitchen in search of a quiet place that he could pray. To his surprise, Rebekka came running past him, not meeting his gaze.
André stared after her, his heart thundering. What had she done? A noise behind him made him turn around. It was Marc, so pale and weak-looking that André feared for his life. “What happened?” he asked.
“Rebekka—she said she wasn’t going to marry me. I have to go after her.”
Guilt filled André. This is all my fault, he thought. He wanted to run after Rebekka and force her to stay with Marc. But then, if Rebekka wasn’t sure about marrying him, maybe she had spared them both a lot of pain. “You just got out of the hospital,” he said quietly. “You’ll hurt yourself. I’ll find her.”
“She’s my fiancée!” Marc pushed off his hands and strode to the apartment door. André stumbled after his brother.
Suddenly, Ariana blocked their path. “Neither of you is going after her,” she declared, her chin lifted in challenge. Though both sons were a head taller than their mother, they stopped in midstride.
“She said she’s not sure about us, Mom.” Marc’s face was pleading. “I have to talk to her!”
“No. Not now. What you have to do is give her time. She cares very deeply for you, son, and I know it hurts, but you have to let her go. If it’s meant to be, she’ll come back. I promise.”
Marc drew himself up to his full height, masking his emotions. “Of course. You’re right. I can’t force her. It’s just . . . I don’t know what I’ll do without her.”
Ariana put her arms around Marc. Her eyes met André’s over his shoulder. “You’ll be all right,” she murmured. André wondered if she was talking to him just as much as Marc.
Ariana pulled away. “Now, I’m going back into the kitchen or the others will wonder why I’m gone. I want you both to go into the living room and calm down a little. André, stay with him.” She stepped away from the door, but paused to shake a finger at them. “And don’t you dare set one foot outside that door!”
Without looking back, Ariana marched across the entryway and into the kitchen.
Marc stared hungrily toward the door leading out of the apartment. His look of devastation cut deeply into André’s heart; he knew only too well what Marc was feeling. How could he have let his thoughts and his loneliness ruin his brother’s life? He put a hand on Marc’s shoulder. “She’ll be gone already, anyway. Give her some time. I’ll help you find her later.”
Sighing in defeat, Marc retreated into the living room. He stood by the unshuttered window, looking out into the night as though to search for Rebekka, while André reclined wearily on the long blue couch.
“I think it’s another man,” Marc said.
Guilt made André’s mouth dry. “What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know. She’s acting different. I mean, for a while, everything is fine and then suddenly, she’ll close up and I can’t get through. At first I thought it was because she wa
s mad at me for not marrying her in the hospital, but now . . .” He spread his hands helplessly. “She said she wasn’t sure what she wanted. André, what am I going to do?”
André would have given anything to take the pain from his brother’s face.
Anything?
He swallowed hard. The two people he loved most were hurting because of his actions. But I didn’t do anything, he thought. I backed off. Whatever happens is Rebekka’s choice.
Suddenly he needed to ask Marc about Rebekka. He had to know how his brother really felt about her. Did he love her as deeply and as soul-searchingly as André had loved Claire? Would he work to make her happy? Or had he simply turned to Rebekka because over the years he hadn’t found anyone else?
“What if it is another man?” he asked.
Looking away from the window, Marc met André’s stare, his voice coming as a growl, “I’d kill him.”
André held his voice steady. “What if she cared for him and just wanted to see where things might lead?”
Marc’s face crumpled, and his eyes were bleak. “I don’t know.”
“Are you sure you love Rebekka?” André hated himself for asking, but he had to be sure. Rebekka deserved a wholehearted love, the kind that held nothing back. “I mean, with the once-in-a-lifetime kind of love?”
To his surprise, Marc grinned, and color seeped back into his pallid face. He eased himself into the comfortable chair by the window, favoring his wounded side. “I know this will come as a big surprise to you, but I used to have a terrible crush on Danielle.”
“Rebekka’s mom?” Indeed, that was a surprise.
“Yeah.” Marc’s voice came from far away. “It was rather a childish thing, but I clung to it over the years. I used to hate Philippe for not being the man she deserved, and thought I could do so much better. But she just kept on loving him, and I noticed that he began to treat her like a queen. He was living up to her expectations.” He paused for a long moment. “I think I was wrong about him. I was certainly wrong to believe in my little crush.”
Ties That Bind Page 26
