Daniel swallowed noisily. Suddenly the inside of his mouth was completely dry, as if he’d been chewing blotting paper for half an hour. He gave a throaty cough before speaking.
‘Hello,’ he said hoarsely. ‘It’s me.’
Lisanne replaced the receiver and stared worriedly at it. She was still staring at it when Jane, her secretary, brought in her morning coffee.
‘Lisanne? Is something wrong?’
Lisanne looked up and shook her head. ‘No... that is, yes, but I don’t know what it is.’
‘Daniel?’
Lisanne nodded sadly. ‘It’s getting worse, Jane. I’m at my wits’ end.’
Jane put the coffee mug on Lisanne’s desk and, seeing she was in need of a confessor, casually sat down in the seat opposite, the one usually reserved for visiting authors.
‘He’s started talking complete gibberish,’ continued Lisanne, picking up a pencil and twirling it between her fingers as if she were hand-rolling a cigarette. ‘That”s the second time he’s phoned me at work sounding completely frantic, only to spout some nonsense at me before apologising profusely and hanging up. You know, on top of everything else... he was a total shit last night. I can’t tell you. Just unbearable.’
Lisanne gave a loud, heartfelt sigh. It sounded like the final breath escaping from some dying animal: it made Jane shudder.
‘I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.’
Jane nodded uneasily. ‘Why don’t you get him to see someone... if he’s, you know...’
‘No, he won’t do it. It’s difficult enough getting him to see Dr Fischer, and even then he only ends up being rude to him. If I suggested that he see a therapist he’d go mad. Oh God, what have I said.’ Lisanne sighed again and shook her head. ‘I’m beginning to think I’m the one that needs professional help.’
‘Don’t be daft. You’re the most well-balanced person I know.’
‘But I’m lost, Jane. I just don’t know what to do any more. Do you know, we haven’t made love in six months.’
Jane blushed. ‘Well, perhaps... what with the accident...’
‘Dr Fischer says there’s nothing to stop him from having “an active life”. It isn’t that he can’t; it’s that he won’t. If I didn’t know better I’d think he were having an affair.’
Jane wondered momentarily whether she should ask if this were, indeed, a possibility, but thought better of it. ‘Perhaps you just have to give him a bit longer. It can’t have been easy for him. After all, he nearly died, did.n’t he?’
Lisanne frowned and said nothing for a moment. ‘That is the line, isn’t it?’
Jane shrugged. ‘I’m not sure I understand.’
‘What we’ve been saying all this time... how he nearly died, how close he came and all that. But you know, it’s not really true. Not really.’
‘But the accident...’
‘...that never happened.’
‘What? But I thought...’
‘Oh yes, there was an accident. But it wasn’t the accident that everyone was told about.’
‘You’ve lost me.’
‘Perhaps that’s just as well.’
‘No, go on. It’s obviously bothering you, whatever it is.’
Lisanne shook her head. ‘It’ll just make me sound like a heartless cow.’
‘Well, that’s okay; I already know you’re a heartless cow. Come on, spill.’
Lisanne took a sip of coffee and pondered a moment. She wasn’t sure whether she dared to express her thoughts out loud. At the same time, she feared that if she kept such notions bottled up inside her, then they might fester like an untreated wound.
‘Well, it’s just a matter of semantics I suppose. There are two accidents, if you like; the accident that did happen - a horrible, tragic affair in which a young woman called Alex was killed - and an accident that didn’t happen, in which both Alex and Daniel were killed. That was the accident that nearly happened, in which Daniel nearly died. If Daniel had been in the car when it smashed into the tree, then yes, God forbid, he would almost certainly have been killed like that poor girl. But he wasn’t in the car. He was thrown free and sustained some bad bruising, a broken collar-bone and some trauma to his neck and vertebrae; nothing that could be remotely thought of as life-threatening. If he’d been severely injured, rushed to intensive care, operated on, been close to death’s door, then made a recovery, yes, then it would be fair to say he’d nearly died. But none of that happened. Nothing like it happened. All I’m saying is... well, someone nearly mowed me down today while I was crossing the road opposite Marks & Sparks. A great big Merc, driver not paying attention. Missed me by inches. In an accident that nearly happened, I nearly died. Does that entitle me to go around for the next six months making everyone’s life miserable? Does it?’
Jane shrugged. ‘Perhaps he feels responsible for her death. Were they very close?’
‘I don’t know, I don’t know! All I know is that it’s like living with a fucking zombie! I can’t go on with it, Jane. I just can’t!’
Jane stood up and walked round the desk, put a comforting arm around her employer, and allowed her to cry bitterly on her shoulder until her blouse was wet through and the coffee had turned stone cold.
‘And I think we should tell her.’
Janice looked up from her newspaper. ‘It’s not our place to interfere.’
Vince reached forward and pulled the newspaper down from in front of Janice’s face. ‘Janice.’
‘What?’ she said, irritated. ‘Oh for God’s sake, Vince, what do you want from me?’
‘I want you to phone Lisanne and tell her that her husband is having delusions.’
‘But I don’t know that he is.’
‘I spoke to him Janice. Believe me, he’s cracking up.’
‘I spoke to him too, remember? And as far as I’m concerned, he’s perfectly okay - a bit disturbed, perhaps, but that’s no surprise when you consider what he went through.’
‘You don’t really believe all that guff about the dream?’
‘Believe what? That’s he’s having the dream? Of course I do.’
‘No, dummy, believe that this place really exists. I mean you can’t...’
Janice grimaced and folded the newspaper in two, laying it down on the seat beside her.
‘It’s not important what I believe. What’s important is that it really exists for Daniel, and frankly that’s all that matters.’
‘And you don’t think there’s anything wrong with a grown man believing that in his dreams he goes to the land of Oz?’
‘Why do you have to be so dismissive? Just because you don’t understand...’
‘Oh, let me guess what’s coming next: I can’t possibly understand because I’m an insensitive, unimaginative boofhead and Daniel is Mister Delicate and Vulnerable. Well I don’t buy it.’
‘How can you be so closed-minded?’
‘Because it helps me to keep my head when all around are losing theirs.’
Janice sneered. ‘Very poetic.’
‘See, not so insensitive after all. Kipling.’
‘I know...’
‘Do you like Kipling?’ said Vince with a leer that gave credence to almost any accusation of insensitivity or boorishness that Janice might hurl at him.
‘Please, Vince, not now.’ Janice picked up her newspaper again, hoping it might shield her from his tiresomeness.
Vince pulled a face. ‘Just trying to inject a little light humour into the proceedings. So, are you going to tell her or what?’
‘If Daniel wants Lisanne to know about it, he’ll tell her. You suggested he speak to her, I suggested he speak to her. I don’t think we’ve any right to interfere beyond that.’
‘You’re talking about Daniel.’
‘So?’
‘He’s my best mate. I can’t just sit around and do nothing while he plans his route to the funny farm!’
‘Oh, for God’s sake, you make it sound as if he’s completely barm
y.’
‘Darling, just-’
Janice snapped the paper down. ‘Don’t do that Vince.’
‘Do what?’
‘Make the endearment “darling” sound like “pathetic female idiot”. You always say it when you’re about to patronise me.’
Vince smiled, not very pleasantly, then cleared his throat. ‘My apologies. All I was going to say, love of my life, is that just because Daniel’s wacky dream fits in with some poncey New Age gobbledegook you’ve read about in one of your-’
‘Okay, that’s it. I’m not discussing this any further with you,’
’Janice-’
‘No. If you want to tell Lisanne, that’s up to you, but I shan’t condone it and I shan’t back you up when Daniel comes gunning for you because you’ve betrayed a confidence.’
‘Gunning?’
‘Yes, well, on your head be it.’ Janice reached for her jacket. ‘And if, as I strongly suspect, you intend to drive Lisanne to distraction with your half-baked analysis, please make it absolutely clear that you are doing so off your own bat, and that it has nothing to do with me. Lisanne is a good friend, and I’ll need someone to stand by me after the divorce.’
‘What you don’t understand is that I’m just trying to help.’
‘I understand the “trying” bit, Vince. I understand that very well.’
Janice strode to the door, stepped into the fresh air, and resisted a powerful temptation to slam the door behind her.
Chapter 17
Daniel searched all over Atheenaton for Kate. He ran from the Pumphouse to the Neraida to Kyma and back again, but there was no sign of her. He stopped to question a few of the villagers, but no one knew where she was. At Kyma he had hoped that Véronique might be able to help him, but she was not in her room, nor at any of the tavernas. Kostas said that he had seen the girls wandering up the beach several hours previously, but he did not know where they were heading.
Frustrated and tired, Daniel eventually found himself back at the Pumphouse. He sat down at the table beneath the gnarled olive tree and searched his pockets for cigarettes. When Barry appeared from the kitchens, Daniel beckoned him over, offered him a cigarette, and invited him to sit down for a while.
‘I’m not stopping you doing something important, am I?’
‘Not at all, Daniel. There’s always time to talk to a friend,’ said Barry, apparently pleased to be stationary for a few moments. He fished around in his shirt pocket and eventually retrieved a book of matches. He lit the cigarette, closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply.
‘Barry?’ Barry opened his eyes and smiled serenely. ‘Uh-huh?’
‘Why do you work so hard? Everyone else seems just to potter around and enjoy themselves, but you’re always on the go.’
Barry smiled. ‘It’s what I do best.’ He breathed the smoke out slowly, watching the grey plumes spiral up into the pine-scented air.
‘But do you have to? Couldn’t you just put your feet up for a bit, go lie on the beach? Relax?’
‘Nah, that’s not my style. I like to be active, to be doing something. If I just sit around, I get irritable and anxious. I’ve always been like that.’
Daniel decided that, now that he had Barry alone, he should risk asking a few of the questions he was desperate to have answered. It he transgressed some law or other, no doubt he would find out about it soon enough. But he had to know, even if it meant being hurled back to his waking world or temporarily banished from Atheenaton.
‘You mean, you were the same at home?’
‘Absolutely. it’s the cross I bear.’
’And where is home?’
‘Well, it was Boston. But Atheenaton has been more of a home to me than Boston ever was. Whether or not I decide to go back there remains to be seen.’
‘You don’t want to stay here?’
Barry started to tap the table nervously with his long, strong fingers. ‘I’ve been here a long time Daniel. It’s been wonderful. I can’t tell you how much it’s helped me.’
‘Helped? How?’
‘Aw, you know. Re-established some balance in my life. You know what this place is like, what an effect it has on you. I was crazy when I first arrived, off the wall. Literally didn’t know when to stop. You think I work too hard here; you should have seen me in the old days. I was working my way to an early grave. Atheenaton changed all that. It wove its magic and cured me, or at least, it slowed me down. If it hadn’t been for this place... well, I don’t like to think about it.’
‘Then why not stay?’
Barry sighed. ‘Daniel, you’re still kinda new here. Right now I guess Atheenaton seems like some sort of paradise, compared to back home. I don’t know what your situation is, but I suspect you, like most of us, have some stuff to work out. Once you’re straight, nice though this place is, it’ll no longer have the same appeal. Deep down, we’d all like to go home eventually.’
Daniel shook his head. ‘I don’t understand, When you say “all”, do you mean...?’
‘We’re all here for a reason Daniel; you must have seen that. All I’m saying is, take away that reason and... Anyway, for me it’ll soon be time to move on. You can’t stay here for ever.’
‘But Véronique can’t go home - wherever that is. She says she can’t leave.’
Barry nodded. ‘Well, everyone’s circumstances are different.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘It’s not for me to explain, Daniel.’
‘Please, Barry, just tell me if-’
Barry held up his hand. His expression had changed slightly, from serene to severe, and Daniel sensed he was overstepping the mark.
‘That’s enough questions, Daniel. If you want to know more, you’ll have to ask Kate.’
‘Sure, but I can’t find her.’
‘Kate’s usually busy in the mornings. Why don’t you just hang out here for a while? She’ll probably be along around lunchtime. I’ll get you some coffee.’ Barry stood up to go. ‘You know, we’re all very fond of you Daniel. We’re especially happy about you and Véronique. She’s a good kid; it’s great to see her so happy.’
Daniel opened his mouth to respond, but Barry was already half-way to the doorway. ‘I’ll get that coffee to you,’ he called over his shoulder before disappearing into the darkness of the taverna.
By the time Daniel found Kate, sitting on the patio outside the villa, his mood had deteriorated from mere impatience to anger and frustration, so he was not mollified by the friendly wave and accompanying smile that Kate gave him as he marched down the garden path.
‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere,’ he said petulantly, and was annoyed when Kate did not acknowledge his distress.
‘And now you’ve found me,’ said Kate.
‘You don’t understand; I’ve chased all over Atheenaton!’
‘Oh, Daniel, do calm down. You’re getting very flustered, and for no reason at all.’
‘But I needed to see you. Urgently.’
Kate nodded. ‘And I needed to greet a new arrival. You’re very precious to us, Daniel, but you’re not the only visitor here, you know. So, now that your wish has been fulfilled and you’ve found me, what can I do for you? There’s something cold and thirst-quenching in the refrigerator if you’re over-heating.’
Daniel tried to ignore Kate’s flippancy in much the way that he had refused to acknowledge her gentle but firm put-down, but he had to admit that she had a most effective way of deflating his self-importance, and instead of holding on to his anger - which, he now realised, was going to do him no good at all - he took a deep breath and sat down on the patio beside her.
‘Sorry,’ he said, embarrassed by his outburst.
‘That’s quite all right. Anyway I’m so pleased to see you: it seems like ages since we last spoke. Actually, it’s just as well you dropped by, as I’ve been meaning to talk to you. About Véronique.’
‘Véronique? But... that’s why I needed to see you.’
K
ate made only a marginal attempt to suppress a knowing smile, reminding Daniel of the underlying theatricality that coloured most events in Atheenaton, of the fundamental unreality of the place.
‘Well, seeing as you were so anxious to speak to me, perhaps you should go first.’
Daniel paused for a moment. He had been in such a panic about seeing Kate that he had not formulated so much as an opening sentence to explain what was bothering him, and now that he had the chance to address his problems, he wasn’t sure how to begin.
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