Laura

by Amy Cross

  “We had a kind of meeting just now,” she says cautiously, barely able to look me in the eye, “and... Well, after what you did to Lynn, and also after some of the other things that have happened lately, we think it'd be best for everyone if you found somewhere else to live.”

  She waits for me to reply, but I figure I should let her continue.

  “Did you hear me?” she asks finally. “I said -”

  “Yeah, I heard you,” I reply, interrupting her as I lean against the wall with my arms folded. “What do you want me to say?”

  “You have to understand why we're doing this,” she continues. “Lynn's in the hospital because of you!”

  “Lynn's in the hospital because she's a coke addict,” I point out. “If she's got any brains left at all, she'll take this as a sign that she needs to change her life.”

  “You can't be serious...”

  “What's wrong,” I add, “don't you like the truth? What about -” I hesitate, wondering whether now would be the perfect moment to show her the latest footage on my camera. “What about last night?” I continue. “You seemed to have fun after all that beer.”

  “Last night?” She frowns. “What the hell are you talking about now?”

  “Your little shuffle in the bedroom?”

  “What?”

  I open my mouth to remind her, before realizing with a sense of growing satisfaction that maybe she genuinely doesn't remember. In which case, the footage on my camera is absolute gold, and I can't waste it on her right now. Better to take my time and come up with a better plan, because these bastards deserve all the misery I can bring to their pathetic little lives. Especially now that they've turned on me.

  “I'll find somewhere else,” I tell her. “I don't think it'll be too difficult, I can always crash at a friend's place. To be honest, I was getting sick of this house anyway. You guys are kind of annoying and self-absorbed. I mean, you're completely up your own ass, Elliot's barely capable of independent thought, Lynn's a basket-case, Jonathan's boring as hell and Nick's an alcoholic. So really, I'm not going to be missing much, am I? This group of six has become a group of sucky losers.”

  I force a smile.

  “So I'll be gone by the end of the day,” I add, before swinging the door shut right in her face. “Bitch.”

  Balancing my laptop on my knees as I sit on the bed, I open the folder where I've been keeping all my ammunition. Photos and videos, all neatly arranged and organized, offering evidence of my housemates' misadventures over the past couple of years. Most people have the luxury of letting their mistakes and lies fade into history, but I'm going to make sure that these assholes get what's coming to them.

  It's all here.

  Neatly labeled and alphabetized, and cross-referenced by date.

  There's enough to destroy all five of them.

  Taking the USB key from my pocket, I slip it into the laptop's side. I haven't had a chance yet to properly check the most recent files I liberated from Tommy's laptop, but as I see the thumbnails filling up my screen, I realize that I might have hit the jackpot. There are lots of pictures of people having sex, and when I open the first picture, I see Sophie's grinning and slightly embarrassed face.

  “Got you,” I whisper, as I start looking through the images.

  I've got to admit, I never had her down as an adventurous girl in the sack, but she certainly let Tommy have his way. To be honest, there are a few things here than even I wouldn't be comfortable doing, and I'm apparently a giant slut. It's extremely tempting to just put these pictures online right now, but I know I have to stay disciplined and play the long game. Somehow, though, I don't think I'm going to be the one who comes out of this looking like a whore.

  “Oh yeah,” I mutter with a smile, as I find a set of videos, “this is Christmas!”

  ***

  “It'll just be for a few weeks,” I explain as I follow Joe along the street. “I can sleep on the sofa, or even on the floor, and I can't pay rent but I can help around the house and -”

  “It's really not gonna be possible,” he replies with a sigh. “Sorry, Laura.”

  “But if -”

  “It's my housemates. They wouldn't be up for it.”

  “I've tried everyone else,” I continue, trying to stay calm despite the heavy backpack weighing down against my shoulders, “and now I really need your help. Come on, we've been friends for a long time, can't you just let me sleep in the corner of your spare room? Like a dog?”

  “If it was up to me -”

  “Joe, please!”

  “They don't like you, okay?” he says suddenly, stopping and turning to me. “You've pissed a lot of people off over the years, Laura, and that means they don't want to help you out. I'm really sorry, but you've just pulled too many stunts.”

  “Stunts?” I reply, shocked by the accusation. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Well, for one thing there's the time you announced to everyone that Lucy and John had slept together.”

  “Lucy and John had slept together!”

  “You still didn't have to go around telling people!”

  “What's wrong with the truth?” I ask. “Everyone lies all the time, for millions of reasons, and then suddenly I'm causing trouble by saying how things really are? Since when did the truth become such a problem? Does everyone else want the world to be built on lies?”

  “Sometimes lies and omissions aren't so bad, Laura.”

  I can't help laughing. “Seriously?”

  “Seriously. You've just rubbed people up the wrong way. It's like you've got this incessant need to constantly share everyone's secrets.” He sighs. “I hope you can find somewhere to sleep tonight, 'cause we just don't have room. Sorry, Laura.”

  With that, he turns and walks away.

  “Go screw yourself!” I shout. “I'll be fine, so don't worry about me! It's everyone else you should be worried about! All the people who lie and cheat and think they can act like they're better than me! Those are the people who're gonna need help!”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Twenty years ago

  “Where did you get this?” Nana shouts again, holding the old coin in her trembling hand. “Who gave it to you?”

  “Just a man,” I whimper, with tears running down my face. “He was -”

  Suddenly she slaps me, hard enough to make me stumble back.

  “What man?” she screams, grabbing my arm and shaking me. “I want to know who gave this to you, and I want to know why!”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Ten years ago

  “I only heard there was some trouble,” Jonathan mutters as he brings me a cup of tea. “I don't know the details.”

  “Thank you so much,” I reply politely as he sets the cup down. We're sitting in the kitchen of the house he shares with some other guys, and to my relief it seems that he's kept very much out of all the intrigue over the past few days. I know he knows some of it, but obviously he hasn't been brought up to speed by the others yet. “I was starting to think that everyone hates me.”

  “I'm sure that's not true.”

  “It might be,” I continue. “And to be honest, I wouldn't blame them. I've dome some dumb things over the past few years, but maybe now...”

  I let my voice trail off, waiting for him to jump in and defend me. Jonathan is a good guy, better than pretty much anyone I know. We're the same age, but he just seems more mature than your average third-year uni student.

  Or maybe he's just boring. He might just be too boring to cause trouble.

  “Hate is a strong word,” he tells me, with his customary level of tact. “Whatever happened, I'm sure it'll all blow over. Everything can tend to seem very dramatic in the heat of the moment.” He heads over to the far side of the kitchen and opens the drawer. “By the time you get back, they'll all have forgiven you. Our little gang of six can't break up. We've been friends for too long.”

  “I think it's over this time,” I whisper, before taki
ng a moment to bring tears to my eyes. I've always found it easy to make myself cry, and within just a few seconds I have the first tear dribbling down my cheek.

  “The best thing,” he continues, bringing a spoon over, “is...”

  He stops suddenly, seeing my tears. Without saying another word, he sets the spoon down and comes closer, putting his arms around me for a hug. The craziest part is, I'm starting to realize that I really like Jonathan, and that maybe I could find a way to make him like me in return. He's honest and reliable and dependable. Maybe I've had enough of exciting guys.

  “Do you think I'm a bad person?” I ask.

  “Of course not.”

  “A lot of people do.”

  “A lot of people are full of hot air. They say things they don't mean.”

  I pause, before pulling back from the hug and wiping tears from my cheeks. “I did something really bad. I thought I was teaching Lynn a lesson, and now she's in hospital. I just wanted to keep her from using too much cocaine, but now everyone thinks I was trying to kill her.” I wait for a reply, but he seems shocked. “You don't think that, do you?”

  He checks his watch. “Of course not.”

  “Sometimes I get dumb ideas,” I continue. “It's probably because I grew up without any brothers or sisters, and then I was left alone after my parents died. My grandmother was a bit of an odd one, and then she died and I had no-one.” I wait, hoping that I've made him feel a little more sorry for me, but instead he glances at his watch again. “Am I keeping you from something?”

  “I just have a...” He hesitates. “Someone's coming over soon, that's all. A girl I've been seeing.”

  I feel my heart sink slightly. “Like... a girlfriend?”

  “It's no-one you know. She's from the course at...” He hesitates, before allowing himself a faint, bashful smile. “Maybe I shouldn't jinx it by talking about her.”

  “She's a very lucky girl,” I reply, feeling a little wistful. Almost sad.

  “I'll do my best to show her a good time,” he replies, as a rumble of thunder can be heard in the distance. A faint smile crosses Jonathan's lips, and he seems almost embarrassed. “Of course, the weather's not looking so good and I think -”

  “Can I stay here for a few nights?” I ask, interrupting him. I didn't mean to blurt the request out like that, but suddenly a wave of desperation has hit me.

  He opens his mouth to reply, before pausing. “Well, we don't really have a spare -”

  “Please! It's important!”

  “I really think you should go back to your place,” he continues, “and talk to -”

  “I'll do things for you,” I add, interrupting him. Before he has a chance to say anything else, I step closer and place a hand on the front of his trousers. “Who needs to go on a date when I could just suck you -”

  “Stop!”

  Pulling away, he seems genuinely shocked.

  “I won't tell anyone,” I continue. “Please, I need your help and I'll do anything you want. We can even go upstairs right now and -”

  “I think you should leave, Laura.”

  “But -”

  “Please just go!” He checks his watch again. “I have to get ready for tonight and -”

  “Can I sleep on the sofa?”

  He pauses, before shaking his head.

  “I'll do anything,” I continue, stepping closer again. “I'll literally be your slave if that's what it takes, but I need somewhere to sleep for a few nights while I sort everything out. Please, Jonathan, you're the kindest, most decent person I know in the whole world. You're so old-fashioned and genteel.” I hesitate for a moment, hoping that maybe my words are getting through. “I'm all alone in the world,” I add, figuring that I need to play the sympathy card. “Everyone else has parents they can run to if they need something, but I don't have anyone. I have to look after myself, but right now I really need a friend. I know you wouldn't throw me out onto the street, Jonathan. You're too good for that.”

  I wait, and I think he's starting to change his mind.

  “And I meant what I said just now;” I tell him, reaching up and starting to unbutton my shirt, letting him see my cleavage. Maybe Jonathan will like the subtlety. “I'll be so grateful, and I'll owe you so much. I even -”

  “Anyone home?”

  Suddenly a girl comes through from the hallway, and then she stops, shocked.

  “Laura was just leaving,” Jonathan stammers, stepping away from me with a startled look in his eyes.

  “Okay,” the girl says cautiously, eyeing me with a hint of suspicion. “I wasn't interrupting anything, was I?”

  “Laura's just a friend,” he continues, clearly panicking, “but she was just about to leave.” He glares at me. “Weren't you, Laura?”

  “But can't I stay on the sofa or something?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “I really don't think that's a good idea.”

  I stare at him for a moment, then at the girl, and then I turn and hurry to the door. Suddenly I feel completely humiliated, and I quickly re-button my shirt.

  “Have a nice date,” I mutter. “Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.”

  Once I'm outside, I find that light rain has started to fall. The streetlights have switched on and the sky is darkening as evening approaches, and I'm running out of time to find somewhere for tonight. I could go back to my room, of course, but then I'd have to eat my words from earlier. Turning, I look back into Jonathan's hallway and see him with the girl who arrived a moment ago. I've never seen her before, but she looks elegant and classy.

  Not like me, then. I could never be elegant or classy. What was it Sophie called me earlier? Oh, right. A stringy little street rat. I guess maybe that's where I belong, then. On the streets.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Ten years ago

  It must be after midnight, but finally I hear my bedroom door creaking open, and a moment later I feel the other side of the bed shifting slightly.

  Slowly, Nana puts an arm around me from behind.

  “You make me so angry sometimes,” she whispers. “You're a very naughty girl. That's a side of you that does come from your mother, and you mustn't let it become stronger. You must stop it before it ruins your life. It ruined your mother's life, you know, and look where she ended up. You remember her funeral, don't you?”

  I don't reply.

  Instead, I wait for her to leave the room. I hate it when she comes and gets into bed with me, and I've got a horrible feeling that this might be one of those nights when she stays until morning.

  Sure enough, she slips her hand beneath the covers and runs her bony fingers down to my waist.

  “We're going to go and see some people tomorrow,” she continues, “and I'm going to tell you what to say. It'll be okay, though, because they'll like you very much and everyone will think you're very cute and smart. Doesn't that sound nice?”

  I flinch as she places her hand on my belly.

  “You're just going to have to remember what I tell you,” she explains, and now I can feel her hot breath on my ear. “It's about the man who gave you the coin. The man with the metal detector. He can't be allowed to go around doing things like that, do you understand? He sounds very dangerous and nasty.”

  “He was nice,” I whisper.

  “No, he wasn't. He was just pretending to be nice so he can take something from you later. Trust me, I know exactly how the world works. He was a mean, scheming man and you have something he wants.”

  “What do I have?” I ask cautiously.

  I wait, but all I hear is her hot, close breath against the back of my neck.

  “What do I have, Nana?”

  “You have your youth,” she whispers, “and your beauty. Men'll strip all of that from you if they get the chance. We have to stop him.”

  “But Nana -”

  “Mummy. Call me Mummy.”

  Turning to her, I see her wide-eyed, unblinking face staring at me in the gloom.

  “We'r
e going to make sure that the man on the beach never talks to little girls again,” she continues. “We're going to tell the police that he did some bad things to you.”

  “But he didn't, he just -”

  “Quiet,” she adds, placing a finger against my lips. “It'll become the truth, once you say it out loud. That's what the truth is, really. It's what everyone believes. And if you tell the police that the man did bad things to you, and if they believe you, it'll be the truth and no-one will have to worry. Trust me, there are people out there who will be saved from awful things if you just say what I tell you to say. Even if that man hasn't done anything yet, he'll hurt a little girl eventually. You want to keep other little girls safe, don't you?”

  Slowly, she moves her finger away.

  “Now give me a kiss,” she adds with a smile, “so I know you're not angry at me.”

  Leaning closer, she presses her lips against mine and holds them there for a few seconds, while her hand squeezes my waist.

  “Just like your mother,” she whispers finally, pulling me closer in the bed. “You remind me of her so very much, Laura. In so many beautiful ways.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Ten years ago

  Rain comes crashing down as I sit shivering in the bus shelter. I was planning to go out into the forest and find somewhere to sleep tonight, but bad weather rolled in way too fast and now I'm stuck here like some kind of homeless person.

  Well, I guess technically I am homeless.

  Reaching into my pocket, I take out my phone and see that I only have half my battery left. Bringing up my list of contacts, I look for someone who might be able to help, someone who might not completely hate me, and finally I spot the one name that might be worth calling. I hesitate for a moment, worrying that I might sound weak, but I guess I don't really have a choice. If I start sleeping rough, maybe I'll never be able to get back to decent society. Finally, taking a deep breath, I call the number.