by Leah Wilde
“We’ll be okay,” Gage whispered, rubbing the back of her head. “We’ll be alright.”
“I don’t know that I will ever be okay again,” Fiona whispered into his chest, clutching hard at his back to make sure that he didn’t move away from her. “Is that okay? Could that be okay if I just…never heal?”
Gage was silent for a long moment, and Fiona guessed that he didn’t really know what to say. She didn’t know the answer either, so it wasn’t exactly like she could blame him. He finally trailed his head down from her head to her back, sticking a hand up her shirt to trace her spinal column with his fingertips. “You’re perfect…just the way you are,” he whispered.
Fiona looked up then to stare into his eyes and see if she could detect any bit of deception. But she couldn’t find a single trace of a lie within his eyes. Only truth. Only love.
Before she knew what she was doing, she reached up and pulled his head towards hers, crashing their mouths together while their hands scratched at each other’s bodies.
Blindly, they moved into the living room, stumbling into various pieces of furniture on the way, their mouths attached the entire time. They fell back onto the couch, kissing deeply and furiously, but somehow, Fiona knew that this wasn’t going to turn back into sex. Her body wasn’t ready for another round, for one thing. But more importantly, it was her heart that was hungry for him this time. She needed his softness, his sweetness, his comfort, not his animalistic side. She needed to know if the soft parts of Gage still existed or if he’d cut them out of himself after she’d left.
Even as she continued to kiss him, the thoughts from before returned. Maybe she was only getting this stuff out of her system. Maybe she’d come here, back to the city, not to save the girls’ lives but to cleanse herself of her past. Maybe she’d just needed to come here to exorcise her demons, get all of that pent-up energy, all the “what-ifs,” all the unanswered questions out of her body. Maybe this was exactly what she needed to do in order to fully commit herself to Carl and to the safer, simpler life out in the country.
Or maybe…maybe not. Maybe this was what she really needed, what she really wanted. Maybe this was who she really was, and any other life was just a lie.
She pulled back from his mouth, panting for air, grabbing at the muscles of his upper arm to anchor herself down into this moment. Fiona licked her lips and cleared her throat, preparing herself for the first time in a year to tell the truth, the whole truth. It was terrifying, like dangling her feet on the edge of a precipice, but she knew it was what she had to do. Otherwise, she’d never be free. But what do I want to be free of? Fiona wondered to herself as she stared up into Gage’s wide, vulnerable eyes. Gage? My past? Or the hope of ever having a future, the idea of healing from my past and letting it go, the expectation that I’ll ever get better? What was this ache in her heart, exactly, and would it ever go away?
# # #
“I would have taken you with me, you know,” Fiona said suddenly, without warning.
Gage didn’t know what to make of that at first, it was so out of nowhere. But then it hit him, all at once. She would have taken him to her little rural town in the middle of nowhere. She would have taken him to her new life.
“No, you wouldn’t have,” Gage said reflexively, shaking his head back and forth. “You wouldn’t.”
“I would,” Fiona said, and her tone sounded defensive now, like she was arguing for her own virtue. “You weren’t the problem. It was the city.”
Gage just shook his head again, feeling a sad smile stretch across his face. “No, no, see, that’s wrong.”
“Why?” Fiona demanded to know, her jaw set and her mouth flattening into a sharp, thin line.
“Because…because me and the city…I couldn’t leave it. You know that. It doesn’t…it doesn’t mean anything for you to offer because you already know what the answer would be.”
Fiona was silent for a long moment after he finished talking, and Gage felt the back of his neck go hot, his skin prickling with discomfort as she just looked at him. “I guess I always knew that,” she finally said. “I just…maybe I hoped that it wasn’t true.”
Gage’s heart fell inside of him, hard, like a heavy stone sinking under the surface of a lake. The truth was so much more unbearable than a lie because the truth of the matter was that Gage and the city couldn’t be separated, ever. He was born here. He was going to die here. Because that’s what happened to Abby. She never got out. She never got a chance. It wasn’t fair if Gage got to leave it, got to forget about the horrors that hid within its alleyways. He wasn’t going to abandon his sister, not for anything. Not even for love.
Gage straightened up on the couch, shifting away from Fiona’s warm, wonderful body. “We should get to work,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he got to his feet. “We can set up a surveillance shift on the Greenwoods. If the dad is involved at all, we might be able to see where he’s going, and if not, it’s possible the kidnapper is still monitoring the families of the victims. He probably watched them for a long time before sneaking in and leaving his insignia in Tori’s bedroom.”
Fiona was silent, not saying anything in response, but after a few seconds, she got to her feet, nodding to herself as she crossed the living room to head back into the bedroom. A minute later, she reappeared, fully dressed in black clothes, prepared for a stake-out. “Let’s go,” she said, tying her red hair back into a tight ponytail before heading towards the front door. Right before her hand hit the doorknob, however, her phone rang. “Just a second,” Fiona muttered apologetically to Gage before reaching into her pocket to grab her phone.
Gage waited, watching as Fiona stared down at her phone screen for several long seconds without moving to answer the call. “Who is it?” he asked.
Fiona continued to stare down at the phone, chewing on her bottom lip. “It’s...Carl, my fiancé,” she murmured.
Gage felt his blood turn cold inside his veins. “Oh,” he replied, at a loss for what else to say. He’d almost forgotten that Carl even existed at all, but now this reminder made him feel like he’d been punched in the gut. It was so easy to fall back into old patterns with Fiona, to pretend that she was here to stay in the city with him forever, but that wasn’t true, was it? She was here on borrowed time, and sooner or later, she was going to go back to her shiny new life, far away from all the dust and grime and dirt, far away from everything that Gage represented, everything that he was.
But for now, at least, Fiona silenced her phone and put it back in her pocket. “Don’t have time for him now,” she muttered by way of explanation. “Come on, let’s go.”
This time, they didn’t use the subway. Instead, they retrieved Gage’s car out of the parking garage where he kept it most of the time. It was a quick ride over to Tori’s neighborhood, an upscale residential area full of young professionals and retirees as well as families with kids. It was like a chunk of the suburbs had been cut and pasted right in the middle of the city, hidden just out of sight.
“We should park on the side of the road, across the street from Tori’s house,” Fiona said, pointing out the right address. Gage followed her instructions, pulling into a spot on the same block as the Greenwoods’ home.
“And now we wait,” Gage said, getting his notepad out of his pocket to keep notes in case Mr. Greenwood appeared anytime soon.
Silence fell in the car, only broken by the sound of Fiona’s anxious foot-tapping in the other seat, getting louder and louder as minutes passed by with no action. Fiona was never really good at the “sit and wait” part of the job. It seemed to drive her crazy, just sitting still and letting things happen, although Gage figured he could probably understand the reasons why. After all those weeks tied up as a teenager…she’d probably had enough immobility and inaction to last her a lifetime. “Hey, do you want to go get a snack or something? Stretch your legs?” Gage suggested a half-hour into their as-yet unsuccessful stake-out.
“No, I’m fine,” Fiona said,
clearly lying through her teeth.
“Hey, you can take a break. I’ll keep watch. It’s okay,” Gage said, trying to sound as reassuring as possible, but Fiona just glared at him, her eyes virtually shooting daggers his way.
Gage sighed deeply and settled back in his seat, staring blankly ahead at the empty stretch of street in front of the car. He resigned himself to sitting in silence for however many hours it took to spot Mr. Greenwood so they could follow him, but something was gnawing at the back of his mind, scratching like a cat attempting to break into a window. He opened his mouth and the words just spilled out like water falling from a faucet.
“What do you get out of your relationship with that guy? Carl?” he asked, still facing forward towards the quiet street.
“What?” Fiona asked, as if she needed the question to be repeated, but the edge of annoyance in her voice told Gage that she’d heard him perfectly well.
“I mean, I haven’t met the guy, but I’m just wondering. What is it that you get out of being out there, in the middle of nowhere? I want to know,” Gage said softly.
Fiona shifted in her seat to face him. “If you must know, he’s…good to me.”
The words stung, but Gage nodded, pretending like they hadn’t hurt him at all. “How so?”
Fiona sighed and pushed some random strands of hair out of her face. “I don’t know. Like, if I start being stupid or something, he yells at me to stop it, and I snap out of it.”
“What do you mean, being stupid?” Gage asked, his heart picking up the pace in his chest. He was afraid of the answer, but at the same time, he had to know. For some reason, he burned with curiosity about Fiona’s new relationship, even if the line of question would inevitably hurt him.
“Like, if I start panicking about something or freaking out about nothing,” Fiona said with a shrug. “You know, like I always do.”
Gage’s heart was now pounding in his ears, the blood rushing painfully to the blood vessels nearest the surface of his skin. “So, let me get this straight. You get upset sometimes and he yells at you to knock it off? And you think that’s the right thing to do?”
“You’re making it sound bad. It’s not…he’s nice, really, I’m just explaining it wrong,” Fiona said, her tone sounding more and more frustrated with each word.
“Okay,” Gage said. “I mean, he really doesn’t sound nice, just judging from what you’ve said, but I’ll take your word for it.”
“How would you know? Seriously, how would you have any idea what he’s like? He’s…he’s too good for me, really, far too good for me,” Fiona muttered.
“It doesn’t sound like it,” Gage said sadly.
“Let’s just not talk about it, okay?” Fiona snapped at him, turning to stare out of the window rather than look at him. Gage felt a fire bubble up in his belly, a desire to say a thousand more things to her before shutting up, but he fought the urge to speak, instead nodding to himself and setting into his seat. It was going to be a long night, staring at nothing.
But then, out of nowhere, something caught his attention, some movement that he could barely perceive out of the corner of his eye. Gage turned in his seat to find the source of the motion.
A small, thin figure stumbled down the street. At first glance, Gage thought it was a homeless person, probably coming into this neighborhood to beg the rich residents for money or food or a place to stay. But something was off about this figure. She was dressed in a short white nightgown, but it was stained with blood and dirt, like she’d just been in a fight. “Hey, Fiona, look at this, look at this girl,” he said, pointing at the bloodied young woman, who started moving faster but more unsteadily, looking like she was about to keel over at any moment.
Fiona sighed deeply, apparently resentful at Gage for saying anything to her after insulting her relationship, but she turned in her seat to see what he was talking about. A second later, her jaw dropped open, and she smacked Gage’s shoulder hard with her fist before taking the fabric of his shirt in her hand and shaking him back and forth.
“Gage!” she yelled, right in his ear. “It’s her! It’s Tori!”
Chapter Fifteen
Fiona lunged out of the car, leaving Gage behind as she ran across the road. But then she realized, I’m going to scare her if I just run up on her like this. I don’t know what she’s been through. I have to be careful. So she slowed down, walking at a normal pace, deciding to let Tori approach her instead.
But instead of walking towards Fiona, Tori suddenly turned, stumbling up the front walk towards her house. Of course, Fiona thought. She’s going home. Where else would she go?
Fiona slowly followed her, not wanting to alarm the clearly traumatized girl, whose stuttering steps finally got her to the front door. Fiona watched as the girl weakly knocked before propping her head against the door, as if she no longer had enough energy to hold herself up. Maybe she didn’t. Judging from the bloody footsteps that she left on the front pathway and sidewalk, she must have walked a long way.
Gage appeared behind Fiona, putting a hand on the lower half of her back. Fiona was tempted to push him away, still feeling the aftereffects of their little argument, but now wasn’t the time to feel angry. Now was the time to take care of the bloodied, bruised young woman before them.
“Tori?” Fiona called out, keeping her voice steady and calm so as to avoid alarming Tori as much as possible. “Tori, honey? Can you talk to us?”
Tori lifted her head, but she didn’t turn around, instead lifting her fists to pound again against the front door of her house, whining a little under her breath like a beaten dog.
Fiona slowly walked forward, making her footfall as heavy as possible so Tori would know that she was heading towards her, but she still said, “Tori, honey, I’m going to come to you, okay? I’m going to help you. Just hold on.”
She reached the bloodied girl but didn’t touch her right away. Fiona didn’t want her to freak out and run away from them. That’s what I would do in her situation, Fiona thought, thinking back fifteen years earlier. I would run and run and keep running until my legs gave out.
“Tori? Sweetheart? You need to get to a hospital, okay? My friend and I were hired to help find you. We’ll take you to the ER, and they’ll make sure that you’re okay. I’ll call your parents right away, honey, alright? But we need to get you to see a doctor.”
Tori slowly turned around to face Fiona, her eyes glued to the pavement below her bare bloody feet. “Tori,” she said slowly, sounding out the syllables. “That’s my name?”
“Yes, yes, that’s your name, darling. Tori. Victoria Greenwood. That’s who you are,” Fiona replied before offering her hand. “Here, come here. We’ll keep you safe. I promise. I promise, darling, nothing bad is going to happen to you.”
Tori opened her mouth to answer, but before she could say anything, the door to the house behind them flung open, revealing a greying middle-aged woman in a nice pantsuit. “Oh, God! Oh, my God!” she cried out. This must be Mrs. Greenwood, Fiona thought, watching as the mother collided with her daughter, crushing her into her arms. Tori winced a little and went limp, like a ragdoll being embraced by a little child who didn’t understand that she couldn’t feel anything. “Oh, Jesus, thank you, Jesus, thank you, God!” Mrs. Greenwood cried out, tears spilling out of her eyes as she clutched her broken daughter closely to her chest.
“Mrs. Greenwood?” Gage said, stepping forward in front of Fiona. “Mrs. Greenwood, we need to get your daughter to a hospital. She must have broken free somehow, and we’ll figure out where she was kept, but first, we have to make sure she’s alright. She needs a doctor right now.”
“I’m not letting her go. I’m never letting her go,” Mrs. Greenwood sobbed, rubbing the back of her daughter’s head. “My baby, my baby!”
“Just give them a minute,” Gage whispered to Fiona, putting a hand on her shoulder and rubbing at Fiona’s skin, sending sparks of heat down into her bones.
But Fiona could only watc
h as Tori balled her hands into fists, keeping her arms stiffly by her sides as her mother held her close. “She’s suffocating her,” she whispered softly to Gage, looking on as Tori began to full-body tremble like electric shocks were being shot through her skin.
“Mrs. Greenwood,” Fiona said, a little louder and more firmly than Gage had spoken. “Mrs. Greenwood, I’m a victims’ advocate and a survivor of a kidnapper, just like your daughter. We need to get her to a hospital immediately, okay?”
At first Mrs. Greenwood just stared at her through tear-clogged eyes, sniffling and keeping her arms wrapped around her daughter, so Fiona spoke again. “The next hour is critical. We have to make sure she gets the help she needs right away,” Fiona said. What she was really thinking, but didn’t say, was that potential DNA from the kidnapper could be extracted from Tori’s clothes and skin, and the longer they waited, the more they risked losing that crucial piece of evidence.
