by Anna Sugden
The memory might hurt more if she’d really loved Jackson McGregor, instead of having a short-lived crush. Still, crush or not, she’d ended up pregnant. And while she could never be sorry about having Alex, it hadn’t been easy.
Pushing the thought away, Kayla squared her shoulders. “There’s something I should tell you—about Alex, I mean.”
“It isn’t necessary,” Elizabeth answered. “Until I saw him in person I hadn’t realized how much he looks like the McGregors. A certain McGregor, as a matter of fact. As I recall, the two of you were quite an item for a while.”
Kayla winced. “Yes. And by the way, Alex doesn’t know Curtis isn’t his biological father. He adopted Alex right after we were married, and wanted to wait before telling him.”
“Don’t worry, we won’t say anything. Where’s DeeDee?” Elizabeth asked. “Is she still in Seattle?”
“She’s in the car, asleep.”
Elizabeth’s eyes lit up and she rushed to look through the Volvo’s back window at her great-granddaughter. “She didn’t wake up when you turned off the engine?”
“Most kids probably would have.” Kayla let out a tired chuckle.
“She looks so sweet lying there, curled up like a kitten.”
“Don’t get your hopes up. That’s my wild child.” Kayla’s humor faded. “At least she was until Alex pulled this stunt.”
“Well, he’s fine, and as hard as it’s been for you, I can’t be completely sorry. It’s wonderful to see you.”
Her throat choking up, Kayla dashed a hand across her eyes. Lord, she was getting soft. At sixteen she hadn’t given in to weepiness, not even when hopped up on pregnancy hormones.
“I take it you drove from Seattle, instead of flying and renting a car?” Elizabeth asked.
Kayla nodded. Her grandmother must have noticed the Washington state license plate and the “My kid is an honor student at...” bumper stickers on the Volvo, showing it wasn’t a rental.
“I wanted to watch along the roads,” Kayla explained.
The Volvo door opened and DeeDee tumbled out, looking rumpled and drowsy. “Mom, I’m hungry.”
“That’s something I can fix,” Elizabeth offered eagerly.
“First things first,” Kayla said. “DeeDee, this is your great-grandmother, Elizabeth Garrison.”
DeeDee stared at Elizabeth. “I thought you’d be ancient. I mean, great-grandmothers are old, aren’t they?”
“Not all of them,” Elizabeth said with a grin, showing no hint of discomfort.
No, the Garrisons weren’t very old to be great-grandparents of a teenager, not with a daughter and granddaughter who’d gotten pregnant as teens themselves.
Kayla followed Elizabeth and DeeDee into the house and a wave of memories swept over her. She’d only lived there for a short time, but she had liked the house and her grandparents and even Schuyler itself, no matter how much she’d felt out of place.
“Where’s the bathroom?” DeeDee asked.
Elizabeth took her down the hall, then returned. “Kayla, dear, lie down on the couch and get some rest. DeeDee and I will put a meal together.”
“I should help or...” Kayla’s protest trailed. Now that she’d spoken to Alex, a different tension was asserting itself—the anticipation of facing the consequences of being in Schuyler again. All the same, she felt limp with exhaustion.
“Let it go for now,” urged her grandmother. “At least for today, someone has your back.”
Tears stung Kayla’s eyes again. Staying strong for her children was a necessary habit, particularly since the divorce, but she felt safe in her grandparents’ home and knew her son and daughter were just as safe. So she smiled wearily, kissed her grandmother on the cheek and sank onto the comfortable sofa. It wasn’t long before reality drifted away.
The clock was chiming two when she woke. Standing, she went down the bathroom and glanced into the mirror. Yikes, DeeDee would claim she looked worse than the cryptkeeper’s wife. Fetching her purse, she found a brush to tame her long auburn hair, though there wasn’t anything she could do about the circles under her blue eyes. She blinked. It had never occurred to her before, but she had her grandmother’s eyes. The resemblance pleased her.
Kayla washed her face and applied lip gloss, wishing makeup was her thing so she could use it to put on a brave face. Instead, she straightened and headed for the kitchen.
DeeDee looked up from her plate of spaghetti. “Hi, Mom. Grandma said to let you sleep. She told me you call them Grams and Granddad, but that we could say ‘Grandma’ and ‘Grandpa’ instead of saying ‘Great’ all the time.”
“Where is she?”
“Bringing in the wash or something.”
That was right. Elizabeth loved the smell of clothing hung out to dry in the fresh air.
Kayla served herself spaghetti and salad and began eating, the taste of her grandmother’s food carrying her into the past.
“I wanna go explore,” DeeDee said as she sucked a last strand of pasta into her mouth. “Can I walk downtown? Grandma says it’s only a couple of blocks.”
Kayla thought about it. She tried not to be overprotective. Fortunately her kids were growing up in better circumstances than she’d experienced during most of her own childhood, but there were still dangers, even in a town the size of Schuyler. Since the divorce, it had been even more of a challenge to find a workable balance. Nevertheless, DeeDee was very independent at almost ten, and would rebel if kept on too tight of a parental leash.
“Okay,” she told her daughter, “but you know the drill.”
DeeDee rolled her eyes. “I got my phone and I won’t let anyone close and will scream my head off if anyone tries to lay a finger on me.”
“And?” Kayla prompted.
“And I’ll be back in two hours and call in the middle to say I’m okay.”
“Then, have fun.”
“Grandma says there’s an ice cream parlor downtown called the Schuyler Soda Saloon.” DeeDee had a hopeful look in her eyes.
“You can get three dollars out of my purse to have a cone.”
“Thanks, Mom.” DeeDee dropped a kiss on her forehead and rushed away.
“It must be hard letting her out of your sight,” Elizabeth observed as she came through the screen door and put a basket of dry laundry on the chair next to Kayla.
Kayla picked up a towel and inhaled the scent of the warm Montana day. She glanced at her grandmother. “It’s never easy. I want to keep her safe at all costs, and then I try to let go, only to worry that I’m letting her have too much freedom.”
“I have a feeling you’re a pretty good mom.”
“Right. I have a fifteen-year-old son who ran away to Montana.”
“I know, but he let you know where he was going. Alex is a good kid. That can’t have changed because of one wild act.”
Wearily, Kayla ate her last bite of spaghetti and stood up. “I realize that. He’s never been rebellious. Art and history are his favorite subjects, and he’s strong enough not to be afraid of being labeled a geek. Not that he enjoys the teasing, but he shrugs it off.”
“Let’s get your luggage in from the car,” Elizabeth suggested after they’d cleaned the kitchen. “You’re staying for a while, aren’t you? Maybe a week or two?” she added hopefully.
“I suppose, if it won’t be inconvenient.”
“You could move in forever and we’d be thrilled.”
“That’s awfully nice of you.” Kayla had a life and a business in Seattle that she couldn’t abandon, but she could stay for a while and let her grandparents get acquainted with DeeDee and Alex. The milk had already been spilled, so there was nothing to do except mop it up. A wry smile crossed her lips. Funny how often her grandmother’s old sayings still cropped up in her mind.
“You’ll be in your mother’s old room. I’ve already got Alex in the guest room, but I thought DeeDee might enjoy the attic bedroom.”
When Kayla carried her suitcase into her mother�
�s childhood room, she saw nothing had changed there, either. Even the posters Mom had tacked up before she and Dad had run off to conquer the world still hung on the walls. Instead of conquering anything, her father had died in an industrial accident a year later, and Mom had started drinking to deal with her pain.
Was love really worth all the anguish? Kayla sometimes wondered about it. Teenagers could fall genuinely in love, the way her parents had, but her mother hadn’t been able to deal with losing that love. Kayla had believed she loved Jackson, but the feeling had vanished with his harsh rejection and the onset of morning sickness. As for her marriage...? She’d loved Curtis—or at least the man she’d thought he was—only to have him throw it all away.
A hint of melancholy went through Kayla as she unpacked the clothing she’d put together so hastily. She had built a good life, though it wasn’t what she’d imagined when she was little.
“You...um, haven’t asked about Jackson,” Elizabeth ventured as Kayla returned to the living room.
“To be honest, he’s low on my list of priorities,” she answered. Jackson was the past, and she’d learned to focus on the present. Unfortunately, she’d have to deal with him now. Coming back to Schuyler was going to present a stack of challenges. A number of people had seen Alex, and some of them must have recognized his likeness to Jackson McGregor. Word would probably get around. As a kid she might have done nothing and hoped for the best, but she couldn’t do that with two children to think about.
Kayla grinned wryly.
Being a mother changed everything.
Elizabeth patted her hand. “In that case, how about a chocolate soda at the Schuyler Soda Saloon?”
Nostalgia made Kayla smile. Between her grandfather’s passion for huge bowls of ice cream and her grandmother’s penchant for having it in soda, she’d been well supplied with treats while living in Schuyler.
“It sounds good,” she agreed, “but I want to stop at Granddad’s office and see Alex first.”
“Sure, honey. I figured that’s what you’d want.”
Walking toward town with her grandmother was another echo from the past.
“In a way, it doesn’t seem that long since we last did this,” Elizabeth said, clearly thinking the same thing. “In others, it seems a century. So...um, how is your mother?”
Kayla made a face. “Still drinking. She made one stab at rehab and walked out after thirty-six hours. I don’t see her that often—it’s too hard on the kids. For that matter, I don’t even know where she is most of the time.”
She could see the pain in her grandmother’s eyes and wondered if she shouldn’t have mentioned the drinking.
“I’m not sure what we did wrong,” Elizabeth murmured.
“You can’t assume it was you. People just lose their way sometimes.”
“You didn’t.”
“I got pregnant at sixteen—hardly a sterling example of stability.”
Elizabeth shook her head firmly. “That was just a teenage misstep. It’s what you did afterward that’s important. We just wish you’d let us help.”
“That money you gave me when we left Schuyler was a big help.”
“I’m not just talking about money.”
“I know.” Kayla thought back through the years. “But Granddad was the mayor. I didn’t want what I’d done to embarrass either of you. Even now, there’s going to be gossip.”
“The hell with that,” Elizabeth shocked her by saying. She stopped and asked gently, “Is that why you stayed away?”
“Partly. I was the one who’d screwed up and felt I should deal with it. But it’s also because I didn’t want to see Jackson after some things he’d said. I guess life just...settled into a habit. Besides, it would have meant Alex finding out about his biological father, and Curtis didn’t want that.”
“I understand, but Alex spoke to a number of people while trying to find our house. I’ve already gotten calls about how much he resembles the McGregors,” Elizabeth said.
“I know, and word will get around to Jackson, as well. I’ll talk to Alex about it tonight.”
At her grandfather’s law office, Kayla didn’t scold her son, just gave him a fierce hug. “Be thinking about what you’re going to say later,” she said when he looked at her cautiously.
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m glad you’re helping Granddad,” she added.
Alex hastily went back to the stockroom where he’d been dusting and sorting office supplies.
Granddad was meeting with a client, so they continued walking downtown, her grandmother introducing her to everyone they saw. Schuyler still had the charm of a Western town with a blacksmith and farrier, saddle shop and spots for locals to hitch their horses if needed. It was just everyday life and tourists loved it.
As they stepped into the Schuyler Soda Saloon, the eerie workings of fate seemed to stir around them. Across the room she saw Jackson, or someone who looked an awful lot like him.
It had been sixteen years, and her old boyfriend’s face had become fuzzy in her memory. Now she was startled, realizing how much Alex took after Jackson. Yet as Jackson strode forward, some of the resemblance seemed to fade. Alex was a sweet, awkward, open-faced teenager, whereas Jackson radiated the pent-up energy of a stalking mountain lion.
Jackson cast a glance at her, kept walking, then stopped and turned around.
“Kayla Garrison?”
Kayla tensed, hoping gossip about Alex hadn’t gotten around quite this quickly. “Actually, it’s Kayla Anderson now. It’s been a long time.”
“Yeah, high school,” Jackson said. He stirred restlessly and his gaze swept the ice cream parlor.
“Is there a problem?” Elizabeth asked politely.
“No, nothing. Good to see you, Mrs. Garrison. Welcome back, Kayla.” Jackson tipped his cowboy hat to them and hurried out the door.
They ordered chocolate sodas and found a small corner table.
“I wonder what Jackson was doing here. He was never crazy about sweets,” Kayla murmured.
“Who knows? This is one of the local hot spots to get the latest gossip, though I admit he doesn’t seem to be one for idle chitchat. It could be something to do with his daughter—I hear she’s turned into a real handful.”
Kayla clenched her fingers, unable to decide how she felt about seeing her old boyfriend; she was too tired and frazzled. But meeting Jackson had emphasized the need to speak with Alex about his biological father as soon as possible. It wouldn’t be the easiest discussion. Maybe she shouldn’t have agreed to keep the adoption a secret, but it was what Curtis had wanted.
“I think we should change our order to takeout,” Elizabeth announced suddenly. She went to the old-fashioned marble counter and spoke to the cashier, returning a few minutes later with two large plastic cups.
Grateful, Kayla took hers and they headed for the door. They strolled around town, sipping their ice cream sodas and trying to catch up on the past sixteen years. Yet in the back of her mind, Kayla kept wondering if Jackson remembered his reaction when she’d told him she was pregnant...that he’d used condoms, so obviously the other boys were right about her sleep-around reputation.
Kayla straightened her back. Her son was safe and she’d already weathered some of the worst stuff life could throw at her. She would handle Jackson, one way or the other.
* * *
“I HATE YOU,” Morgan yelled, her blond hair bouncing. “Go ahead, hate me back.”
Jackson McGregor glared at his daughter, though he still chose his words carefully. Unfortunately, he’d had plenty of practice lately. “I don’t hate you,” he said. “But right now I’m struggling to like you as much as I usually do.”
“You think you’re so clever. Why can’t I go to the lake for the weekend?”
“At your age? A girl? With a bunch of the wildest kids in school, with no adults? Do you think I’ve lost my mind?”
Morgan stomped her foot. “If I was a guy you’d let me go, and that’s not
fair. It’s a...a double standard. The other kids will think I’m a nun. Can’t you try to remember what it was like in high school?”
“I remember all too well, and I’ll be damned if I make it easy for you to repeat my mistakes.”
“Yeah, I know all about your mistakes.”
“Then, you should realize that I know what I’m talking about,” he told her.
“Yeah, you had fun, but you don’t want me to have any at all.”
Jackson counted to ten as his daughter disappeared around the corner of the barn. Morgan had always been strong willed, but lately she’d gone completely ornery and seemed determined to drive him crazy. It was a miracle if a day passed without a shouting match. As for being grounded, she did her best to make it appear as if she was disobeying him. Just that afternoon she’d hidden in the hayloft of one of the barns, letting him think she’d sneaked into town. He’d wasted hours looking for her. Lately he’d been in Schuyler far too often, tracking her down for one reason or another.
Just a few months ago she’d hacked her hair into a hideous spiky cut. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she’d begun adding a dramatic fluorescent streak down one side, using a selection of temporary dyes. Every morning it had been a different color. Though her hair had grown out, it put him on edge, wondering what she’d do next. Hell, much as he loved her, raising a boy might have been easier.
Jackson trotted up the patio steps and into the house, tempted to call his mother and ask for advice. But it wasn’t fair to load his problems onto her. His parents had raised their own family and two of his cousins, as well. They’d done their duty.
He glanced at Flora, the woman he’d hired to keep house. “Any pearls of wisdom to share?” he asked.
Flora shrugged. “Afraid not.” She was sitting at the kitchen table, snapping string beans. She worked hard and was a great cook but hadn’t connected with Morgan as much as he’d hoped. Not that it was a housekeeper’s job to provide motherly guidance.
“What are you doing here?” he asked. “I thought you were spending the night in town.”
“My sister canceled on me. She got a hot date at the last minute.”
