by Anna Sugden
A few minutes later they came splashing toward them. “Let’s play water volleyball,” Morgan suggested.
Glad for an excuse to be active after all, Kayla nodded and pushed away from the step. After a moment, Jackson joined them.
* * *
THAT NIGHT THERE was a mild ache in Kayla’s muscles, but otherwise she had few aftereffects from the horseback ride. DeeDee and Alex felt the same and the next day they took a longer ride, all of them together. On the third day, the kids were both growing confident on their mounts and eager to get more adventuresome.
“Dad, I’m going to take Alex and DeeDee up to Halloran’s Meadow, okay?” Morgan said after lunch on the fourth afternoon.
It was obviously a play for time without adult supervision and Jackson considered a moment before nodding. “It’s all right with me, but Kayla has to decide for Alex and DeeDee.”
“Can we, Kayla, please?” Morgan begged. DeeDee and Alex gazed at her hopefully.
“Just a ride?” Kayla asked, stalling while she tried to sort out proper caution from overprotective instincts.
“There’s a waterfall at the end of the meadow,” Morgan admitted. “But the pool is only a foot deep. The fun part is running through the waterfall.”
“The meadow is up in the hills, but with the heat spell we’ve been having, the pool won’t be full,” Jackson explained. “I’ve always thought it was safe, but you have to do what makes you comfortable.”
Gathering her scattered nerves, Kayla nodded. “It’s okay, I guess, if you all stay together.”
“Awesome!” DeeDee exclaimed.
“Take Cory with you,” Jackson instructed his daughter, “and one of the satellite phones.”
“Ah, Dad, I’m not going to be alone. We’ll all be together.”
“That doesn’t matter. There’s a fully charged unit on my desk,” Jackson told his daughter.
Heaving a sigh that only a teenager could inject so much disgust into, Morgan went to the ranch office and brought out the phone, showing it to her father. “Happy?”
“Yes. Keep it turned on.”
Kayla followed the kids to the barn and watched them saddle their horses. Alex could already handle Betty without difficulty, and DeeDee only needed help lifting the saddle over Boop’s back, using a stool for everything she wasn’t tall enough to handle from the ground. Jackson mostly checked that they’d gotten the girth tight enough.
“Are you really okay with them going off on their own?” he asked as the three rode out, the McGregors’ German shepherd scampering ahead of them. “I can always catch up on Thunder and tell them I’ve changed my mind. I’ll even take the heat for both of us... After a year of Morgan being in a mood, I’m almost used to it.”
“As much as I’d like to wrap them in cotton wool, let’s skip the teenage angst.”
Jackson rested his arms on the top rail of the fence and gazed out at the tree-studded landscape. “My parents say that when you raise kids on a ranch, you have to get used to giving them more responsibility and freedom.”
“So what are Morgan’s responsibilities?”
“Well, Mom has hinted that I screwed up there—as in not enough responsibility or freedom.” He shoved his cowboy hat back on his forehead. “Morgan has a few chores, but after her mother walked out, I indulged her. Maybe I always did. Marcy was never interested in being a mother, and I wanted to compensate.”
“I feel the same way when Curtis dives into one of his obsessions. It’s obvious when his romances are on the wane because he spends more time with the kids. I want them to have as good a relationship as possible, so I try to keep the seesaw from being too obvious.”
“Meaning you indulge them, too.”
“A little.” Kayla gazed around at the Crazy Horse’s tidy outbuildings and corrals. “As I recall, you once had a long list of daily chores. You said that your parents hoped it would keep you on the straight and narrow, but that they’d underestimated you.”
Jackson turned toward her with an enigmatic expression. “And I remember you used to help me do those chores.”
She laughed. “I doubt a city kid was much help. You didn’t seem to mind the work, though.”
“That’s because I always wanted to be a rancher, despite my rebellion. I just don’t know what Morgan wants.” He looked back to where the three riders had disappeared in the distance. “I’ve been thinking, Morgan has friends, but this thing with Alex is different.”
Because he’s family, Kayla said silently. And DeeDee was being included because she was Alex’s sister. “I suppose having more children wasn’t likely given Marcy’s lack of maternal instincts...?”
“Marcy refused to consider another pregnancy,” he replied bluntly. “After my divorce I dated someone else who seemed interested in children, but it turned out she was just looking for a rich patsy.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because I surprised Patti one evening and found a man sneaking out a side window. I tackled him, thinking it was a thief, but it was really the guy she’d been living with for years. He was so scared he blurted out the whole plan...which included a couple of years of marriage, a baby, followed by a quick divorce with generous support payments.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Kayla was surprised Jackson was revealing so much about his romantic woes, but they’d gone past the point of being overly concerned about something not being the other’s business.
“How about you and Curtis?” he asked. “Did you want a larger family?”
She stirred restlessly. “We tried to have another baby. There was nothing physically preventing a pregnancy, it just didn’t happen. Then Curtis became enamored with a woman he’d met at work. He was up front, saying he wanted a divorce because he didn’t want to be unfaithful.”
“Real nice of him.”
“It could have been worse. Everything worked out amicably, from custody to him insisting that I keep the house. He didn’t even ask for a settlement from my business.” Kayla swallowed, a lump in her throat. “But for months after we separated, I kept wondering if he’d sought out someone else because we weren’t successful conceiving another child.”
“If he felt inadequate, that was his problem, not yours.” The adamant tone in Jackson’s voice was soothing to her ego. She’d dealt with the pain years before, but even old scars can hurt when they’re poked.
She blinked rapidly but couldn’t keep a tear from falling. “Thanks. I suppose it was harder to handle because I kept thinking about the baby that might have been.” She sniffed and a few more tears fell.
Dammit, she wasn’t a crier, yet her eyes didn’t seem to know that.
“Silly, isn’t it?” she asked. “That’s why I’ve never told anyone how it felt. I mean, I wasn’t even pregnant, so why did I feel bad?”
Jackson put an arm around her waist and pulled her close. “I don’t think it’s silly in the least.”
* * *
FOR SOME REASON Jackson’s own heart ached as silent tears trickled down Kayla’s face. She wasn’t indulging in a storm of self-pity; she was grieving over the past that should have been and the baby she’d hoped would be born.
In a way they were alike.
He’d never talked much to his family about the divorce or what had happened with Patti—in his case more from stiff-necked pride than anything else. As for Kayla? During her deplorable childhood she’d learned to tough things out, to survive and make the best of her circumstances—lessons that were cemented when she was a teenage mother facing the world alone. It was no wonder she found it hard to confide in anyone.
“Sorry,” she said finally, stepping back and wiping her face. “I don’t know where that came from.”
“We all need a pressure valve, though preferably not the kind your mother used.”
Kayla leaned against the corral fence and gave him a shaky smile. “Alcohol wasn’t Mom’s pressure valve, it was her escape. I decided a long time ago not to run away from life, though I’m sure
I’ve made different mistakes. After all, my kids need something to complain about to a therapist one day.”
Jackson laughed. “Come back to the house, Ma,” he urged in his best imitation of a character in a vintage Western film. “Us old fogys will sit around until the young’uns get back.”
“Okay, Pa, but you make sure that the rockin’ chair is ready.”
In an easy silence they returned to the house where Kayla sank onto a couch.
Flora came into the living room shortly afterward, glancing silently at Kayla’s red eyes and tearstained cheeks. “Would you like some lemonade?” she asked.
“That would be wonderful,” Kayla answered.
“Same here,” Jackson added.
When the housekeeper returned, she handed a tall, frosty glass to Jackson and another to Kayla, along with a damp washcloth. Kayla used it to wipe her face and press against her eyes.
“Thanks,” she said.
“Take it easy,” Flora ordered sternly. “We’ve all had that sort of day. God knows, I have.”
The two women shared a smile full of understanding. Flora had edges that stuck out everywhere, but while Jackson didn’t know her entire history, he knew she’d had hard times herself.
“I’m going into town for groceries,” Flora told Jackson briskly, as though embarrassed by her rare display of softness. “Anything special you want for dinner?”
“I could stand throwing steaks or chicken on the grill, but I don’t know about Alex.”
“He’s covered. Stuffed manicotti,” she said before stomping from the room. A minute later her car drove past the window, toward the main ranch gate.
“Flora is an interesting addition to your household,” Kayla remarked.
“She’s an odd character. I hoped she’d feel like part of the family, but I’m not sure that’s ever happened.”
Kayla shrugged. “Maybe there should be a family designation that doesn’t have to be defined by comparison to anything else. We should make up a word for it.”
“Better yet, we could submit the idea to DeeDee,” Jackson suggested. “I’m sure she’d come up with something.”
“Except it would probably be much longer than necessary. I suspect she’s going to become a linguist and invent an entirely new language. She’s already learned Klingon, from Star Trek.”
“She actually speaks Klingon?”
“Fluently. It drives Alex crazy since he’s the bigger Trek fan.”
Jackson grinned and gulped a mouthful of lemonade. It was nice having a comfortable conversation with Kayla. He still hoped they could be friends, but he’d never felt toward a buddy the way he sometimes felt around her, so he’d have to find a way to deal with that.
* * *
MORGAN’S FAVORITE PLACE in the world was Halloran’s Meadow. Whenever the weather was warm enough she went there to read or sit and think, sometimes even to yell her lungs out. When she was little she’d talked to a particular quaking aspen on the north side of the meadow. The idea had come from a book her father used to read to her, and later she’d given it up, but she still thought of it as her tree.
And the waterfall was a blast.
By midsummer the stream that fed it wasn’t going very strong, but she always felt happy when she dashed through the cascade of water. The summer before she’d even tried skinny-dipping, but she’d felt silly and hadn’t done it again.
“I got my swimsuit under my clothes, but do you guys need to change?” Morgan asked when they reached the meadow.
Alex shook his head. “Not me, I have my trunks on under my jeans.”
“I need to,” DeeDee said.
“There’s an open spot inside those trees you can use.” Morgan pointed to the grove of quaking aspens.
DeeDee dismounted and tethered the horse the way Morgan had taught her, then raced toward the trees. “Wait for me,” she called over her shoulder.
It was weird having DeeDee around all the time, especially since Morgan’s friends ditched their younger brothers and sisters every chance they got. She’d suggested trying it a few times, but Alex didn’t want to. He said that he and DeeDee usually didn’t do that much together in Seattle, but it was different in Montana—something to do with the family-spirit thing that was important to his mom.
It was okay. Morgan didn’t really mind bringing DeeDee along, and for private stuff, she texted Alex or sent him a Facebook message. DeeDee might be a pain some of the time, but she was fun and seemed to think Morgan was awesome. Nobody had ever thought she was awesome before, so it was kind of cool.
Cory lolled on the grass as they waited for DeeDee, a big doggy smile on his face. Morgan had hated leaving him behind when they’d gone to Yellowstone but had finally admitted he wouldn’t have liked being tied up all the time.
The next few hours were the best she could remember having at Halloran’s Meadow. Oddly, she’d never brought her friends there—never even thought of it. But it was different with Alex and DeeDee. When she was with them, it was easier to forget her other problems.
And she wondered...if everything blew up with her dad, would Kayla let her live with them in Seattle?
* * *
KAYLA OPENED HER eyes and realized she’d fallen asleep on Jackson’s couch. She felt better, though her eyes were still scratchy from tears.
She yawned and stretched.
Across the room, Jackson put down his newspaper and smiled. “You look like a cat, content from an afternoon nap.”
“Except I rarely nap in the middle of the day, no matter how little I slept the night before. Sorry for conking out that way.”
“It wasn’t long, and you probably needed the rest. Are you interested in a swim now, or do you want to sleep longer? The kids won’t be back for at least another couple of hours—Morgan always stays at the meadow as long as possible.”
“Let’s swim.” Kayla shimmied upward on the couch. Being indoors alone with Jackson suddenly seemed a bad idea.
Jackson was waiting when she stepped from the pool house in her swimsuit. Diving in, she swam from one end of the pool to the other before turning over to float on the surface. She let herself drift, feeling oddly at peace.
The past few weeks had often seemed surreal. It was as if time had been suspended from the moment she’d learned Alex wasn’t where he was supposed to be. Or maybe it had been the long drive through the night, the sun finally rising over Montana’s vast reaches, making it seem as if she’d entered a dreamworld that held both good and bad.
Currents eddied around her as Jackson did laps, his powerful arms and legs slicing through the water. Kayla determinedly kept her eyes closed. She might have been celibate for a long while, but that didn’t mean she had to ogle.
A shadow fell across her face and she opened her eyes to see Jackson standing nearby. “Something wrong?”
“Just wondering if you’re wearing sunscreen. My hide is like leather—your skin isn’t.”
“Drat, I forgot.”
Getting out, she fetched the bottle from her bag in the pool house. It was smart to use sunscreen, though she didn’t burn easily. As for Jackson’s remark about having a hide like leather...? Kayla shot a quick look at him in the pool. He was tanned from long hours working outside, but hardly leathered.
There were comfortable chaises around the pool and she sat on the side shaded by black cottonwood trees, carefully smoothing lotion over the tops of her feet and calves. She’d poured more on her palm when she realized Jackson’s gaze was fixed on her.
Kayla swallowed.
Though it had been sixteen years, she recognized that look. She continued applying lotion to her legs, but she was paying little attention to the task.
Slowly he lifted himself from the water and walked toward her with the powerful grace of a wolf claiming its territory.
Heat and electricity burrowed deep into her abdomen.
“If you’re going to say no, I’d really appreciate you doing it now,” Jackson whispered, drawing her
upward.
No?
Kayla’s thoughts scattered further when he cupped her bottom, pulling her flush against him. She didn’t want to say no—she wanted more. His fingers slipped beneath the edge of her swimsuit to the skin, stroking, massaging, driving her mad.
“We’re alone,” he whispered between kisses. “Come upstairs?”
Mutely she nodded, and let him tug her into the house and up to a large bedroom. Slowly he peeled the black suit from her shoulders, pushing it down to her waist, stopping as his eyes took in her breasts. His breathing quickened as he played with her sensitized nipples and sent ripples of sensation through her entire body.
A moment later they tumbled to the bed. His weight settled over her, his bare chest against her breasts and his lips hard on her mouth. After a long, drugging kiss, he eased away to tug the bathing suit down her hips, freeing the hot, damp space between her legs.
It didn’t take long before Jackson’s own swim trunks lay on the floor and his hard length was pressed against her.
“You’d better have a condom,” she gasped.
He nodded, then groaned and lunged across the room to grope through a drawer. It seemed to take an awfully long time, and she turned her head to see him tear open the package and roll the condom over his erection.
Then he dropped back down upon the bed to lay his mouth over her right breast, sucking, teasing, before edging between her legs. A thrust of pure pleasure shuddered through her abdomen as he entered and set up a rhythm, over and over until the climax shattered her thoughts.
* * *
JACKSON’S HEART SLOWED from its wild pulsing and he lifted himself on his arms to look at Kayla. Her auburn hair lay in damp ropes across his pillows, her intense blue eyes still reflecting the pleasure they’d shared.
He kissed her again, his hands seeking her taut body. Blood surged into his groin again. Damn, how long had it been since he’d wanted a woman this much?
