by Angela White
Kyle laughed, always surprised when she pulled herself out of a bad moment and then he couldn’t breathe because she was sliding into his arms.
Forcing herself to face the things she was afraid of, Jennifer straddled his lap, wrapping her long legs around his hips. She rested her head on his frozen shoulder, aware of how hard her heart was pounding. She wanted to get over her fears of sex and men, but mostly, she wanted to be able to trust herself and repay Kyle. If Kyle’s touch lit her up, made her want sex the way Cesar had after he forced his drugs on her, then she would learn to accept that she was a slave to her body’s needs, but never to the man she chose to fulfill them.
Kyle held her without moving, barely breathing as usual. Jennifer quickly tired of the lack of response. It was another sign that she was healing, that she could be bored instead of scared as she nuzzled his neck.
“We’re alone and I’m not shaking with fear yet. What would you like to do?”
She hadn’t thought Kyle could stiffen further, but he did to the point that sitting on his lap became uncomfortable. As she realized why that was, Jennifer blushed darker.
Kyle chuckled. “Sorry.”
Jennifer stayed still. “It, ah…doesn’t take much, does it?”
It was one of the few sexual references she’d made and Kyle grinned. “It’s all you.”
“And it’ll, um, stay that way, right?”
Kyle understood what she wanted to know and chose to turn the tense moment into a lighter one. “I certainly hope so. There’s no Viagra anymore unless I ask Angie and that isn’t happening.”
Jennifer giggled in surprise and Kyle gently gave her the information she had been searching for. “Yeah, I’ll always want you. But that doesn’t mean I can’t control it.”
“You didn’t before.”
Kyle knew he would be hearing that for the rest of their lives and chose to give her more there too. “I’d do it again to keep from raping you, Jenny.”
She sighed, still not sure why men felt so strongly about her. “Sometimes I wish you’d go ahead so I can stop worrying over it.”
“I won’t as long as you feel that way,” he vowed without anger.
“I could push you,” she said quietly. “I know how.”
Kyle sighed. “Is it what you want?”
She shrugged, embarrassed. “I want you to be happy and I want to be normal again.”
“And you think consummating our relationship will help you?”
“It has with Becky,” she pointed out.
Kyle wasn’t so sure, but didn’t argue on that line.
“I’m sorry, Jen, but I won’t do it. If you twist me up that way intentionally, you’ll find me in a whore’s tent.”
The girl knew she could push it too far for him to walk away from her, but she wasn’t ready to do that here and now.
“Can I talk to you about it? Just questions?”
Jennifer shrugged again, too aware of his hard body under hers.
Kyle gently lifted her off his lap and felt her immediate relief. He felt some too, though not from the need for release. He would take care of that when she finally crashed for a few hours.
“What do you want to know?” she asked, lying on her side so that her loose hair would cover her face and make this easier. She’d been avoiding it, but every adult female in Safe Haven that she spoken with had recommended talking to him about her fears of intimacy.
“What scares you about it, to start with?”
Her prompt answer of, “Everything.” drew a smile.
“The pain? Humiliation?”
“The lack of control,” she gave, thinking she might as well be honest. “Hilda said if I tied you up, I wouldn’t be scared.”
This time, Kyle turned red. “If you…what?”
Jennifer didn’t look at him, smiling a little at his dazed voice. “She said to take my cuffs, secure you to a real bed in some shitty little town, and stay there exploring your big body until I know it better than my own.”
Kyle was scarlet from the roots of his hair to the tips of his fingers.
Jennifer dissolved in giggles, forcing the rest out between laughs and breaths. “She said you’d walk funny, but I’d be the man of the house after that.”
Kyle gave in and snorted out his amusement, filling their tent with good vibes.
When Kyle began forming his next question, Jennifer grew serious. Hilda had given her a lot of advice while helping her recover from the birth.
“Are there things you liked, that at some point, you might want someone else to do, without the ugliness?” he pushed as easily as he could, heart pounding. He wasn’t supposed to be having this conversation with her for another year.
Jennifer slowly shook her head.
Kyle knew she was lying. “It doesn’t mean I’m going to grab you and do it right this minute,” Kyle promised. “But we have to talk about these things. You know that.”
She did, but it wasn’t easy and she chose to show him instead. Unfortunately, she had no other reference than her time with Caesar.
Kyle’s good mood sank through the ground as he watched Caesar shoot her up and then make love to her as if she was a willing woman.
Jennifer ended the memory in shame.
I knew I wasn’t supposed to like any of it! she swore, tears pricking her lids.
“Jenny?”
Kyle’s tone was ugly and she jerked her head up to see if she should brace for blows.
Kyle grunted miserably. “Not at you, honey. At him. You did nothing wrong there.”
“Are you… Are you sure?”
“Yes. He used pleasure to control you. It’s supposed to be used to bond with each other, to express our love.”
His voice lowered into a type of fear that she recognized as him not wanting to say the wrong thing.
“I’ll…I can do those things for you, without the pain or the drugs.”
Jennifer wanted to fight the horrors in her mind with good moments until all the darkness was refilled with light and she stepped into adulthood bravely. “Show me.”
“Uh…” Kyle blinked. “Now?”
Jenny was almost shaking. “Just a little, to see if I can take it.”
Not sure if I can, Kyle thought. “I need time to plan it out, but I will when this war is over.”
Jennifer knew her age was still an issue for him and insisted on making him promise.
As they settled down to sleep, it was on both their minds enough to keep them from dozing off right away. Their relationship had changed, due to Jennifer pushing herself and Kyle’s patience, but neither of them was sure if they were ready for it.
Kyle was only agreeing because she and the witch were asking for the same thing of him, at the same time. And he wanted to! Kyle had never fought so hard to resist anything in his life. It was a constant struggle for him to remain civilized at all times, but he was able to do it because the prize at the end was worth every second of this torture. She was almost willing, almost his! Kyle drifted off with her lips on his mind and a hard-on inside his pants.
5
“Send them in at dawn. Throw everything we have.”
Captain Mayberry had just informed Donner of landmines being discovered near all their forward camps. The teams were waiting along this dangerous barrier for instructions, watching the sun sink with dread.
Mayberry was Donner’s official right hand man now, but he understood that position was like playing musical chairs. The fact that they had served together meant very little. Coming into the middle of a run like this was always dangerous, but after Canada, the Captain had needed a break. He’d liked those scrappy women.
“Did you say send them through anyway, sir?” Mayberry was surprised by the order. Donner didn’t usually waste good men.
Donner glowered. “Yes.”
Mayberry read the tone, and shrugged. “If that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get.”
Mayberry left the room to spread the word that they
were pushing on. As he went, the Captain made a mental note to find Sherman and the rest of their team. The soldiers who survived these orders would no longer be under the control of anyone.
I’m counting on that, Donner thought, sipping his cold coffee. Thanks to Angela filling the area with traps and ambushes, the men would loot or destroy everything they found. The bloodlust would catch onto the remaining half of this battalion and they would take it out on everyone they came into contact with. It would peak tomorrow evening. During the chaos, Donner and his men would drop in on Safe Haven.
Are you there? Donner called, not pushing the radio button. He was testing a theory on her abilities.
Of course, Angela answered silently, cheerfully. I’m always in your head now.
Donner hit the button and Angela laughed in his mind. Coward.
“I want Mitchel and my Sergeant ready to go,” Donner ordered over the waves that he was sure he controlled. “I’m coming in for them.”
Angela’s scorn was thick. “This is my mountain, Major. If I see anything in the air, I’ll shoot it down myself and I don’t need a missile. I’m locked right onto you.”
Donner clicked the mike to stop her words from going through, but Angela simply waited, reading his thoughts across a hundred miles.
He let off the button and she asked, “Is that office warm enough?”
Donner became aware of his men chattering outside and hefted himself from the chair, grabbing his kit along the way. He knew trouble when he smelled it.
“Get the woman!” he shouted.
He left the radio, fleeing the sudden fire that had come roaring down the hill for them.
Behind the cabin, Crista stayed still, trying to squeeze off one more shot before her target was out of range. The fire was nothing. The rifle was everything.
The jeep flew through the darkness as Crista waited, exhaling. She pulled the trigger gently.
She saw a soldier slump over, but not the one she wanted, and realized Donner had put someone directly behind him to avoid this very thing.
“You bastard!” she swore. Anger brought her rifle back up and she took out everything moving that she had time to hit, showing no mercy to the men Donner had left behind.
Crista didn’t drop from her spot until the wind swirled the flames her way and even then, she moved with her rifle in hand, longing for another shot.
6
Angela waited a minute and then continued her assault, seeing Donner flip on the radio in the hummer he’d taken. She and the witch were staying close enough to count his nose hairs if they desired.
“Did you know you’re down to less than five hundred men, Major? Is that close to the number you that promised them would survive? Because the next mile and a half of landmines should even the difference. Especially since I’ve eliminated all your EOD teams.”
Donner punched the dashboard, growling, “Liar!”
He grabbed the mike, brought back into the argument. “There’s no way you had enough mines or time to cover that much ground. I’m calling your bluff!”
Angela’s laughed cackled over the waves, sounding like something from a horror show. “I’ll prove it, Butcher. You have a team of recon men inside my wire, one of your last, by the way. Call surrender or you’ve killed them.”
“We’re coming for you!”
“Listen to what you’ve caused.”
The open radio echoed an explosion and then the sounds of men screaming before Angela took back over.
“You also have a tank team waiting inside my wire. Surrender or you’ve killed them.”
Donner quickly realized that she was proving she didn’t bluff, but he did and he didn’t care about any of the things or people she was destroying.
“My chopper will be there in one day.”
“Major, you’re not listening to me and I don’t care for that. I have a gun to your Sergeant’s head right now. Should I pull the trigger?”
Donner hesitated. Sergeant Wallz had been with him a long time. The man had saved all of them more than once and he felt a kinship to the former blacksmith.
“Well?”
“Yes,” Donner negotiated cruelly. “And then I’ll shoot every hostage I have, including the blonde bitch carrying twin sons.”
Now there was silence from Angela.
“That’s what I thought. One day. Have them ready.”
Angela didn’t answer and that gave Donner the uneasy win. She pulled out of his head completely as the Major directed his convoy to the edge of the outer battlefield, where his chopper was being kept at his final den.
Sitting behind him, Samantha didn’t move or speak. All hell was about to break loose.
“Sir, we have a new report about the Ghost. He’s been–”
“There is no Ghost!” Donner shouted, making Samantha twitch. The body of the soldier next to her wasn’t helping with her discomfort.
“He was killed! It’s a damn wolf.”
“Uh, sir, we have five visual confirmations from the large basecamp. And, uh…we don’t have one anymore. It’s been destroyed.”
The private was busy reading the Morse code as he translated it and didn’t see Donner’s gun go to the side of his head.
The report in the jeep was awful, making ears rings and stomach’s lurch, but Donner didn’t tell them to stop, not even to dump the bodies.
“Get me to that cabin!”
“Yes, sir,” Mayberry answered evenly. This side of Donner he was accustomed to. The Major didn’t like being argued with.
Samantha avoided making eye contact with her captors. She tried to bring up a wall by thinking of her most hated, annoying song (Don’t Worry, Be Happy), and hoped it would be enough to cover her from Donner’ prying.
Are you there?
Yes, master
Can you help me?
In many ways. What would you have me do? the demon asked eagerly.
Protect my children, Samantha replied, terrified.
The demon clucked. I already am, master, but there are limits. Don’t get shot.
Samantha flinched again, glancing at the shattered hole in the window behind her. Yeah, that’s a concern.
Chapter Nineteen
The Wildcards
1
It was a relief to find Doug standing outside the torch-lit cave entrance. Marc went straight to the big man. “Did it go okay?”
Doug started to launch into a tirade, but he was interrupted by Charlie’s excited call.
“Tracy! I’m here!”
Doug frowned, drawn from his anger by concern. “She hasn’t been with us at all.”
Charlie heard him and spun to his dad in panic. “I have to go!”
“Try to call your mom, first,” Marc encouraged. “She may have this covered.”
Charlie wanted to believe that, but a minute later, he was striding into the dusky woods, shouting over his shoulder. “She said to stay here, that she would handle it!”
Marc didn’t argue or drag the teenager back, hoping Angela would keep both of them with her. Angela was supposed to join him in this den tonight.
And you believed that? Marc’s demon asked suddenly. He’d been absent, searching with the witch for a way out of what was coming. He’d missed most of the fighting.
Marc froze, remembering what Cynthia had told him before they left on their first runs.
She’s lying to you, about everything. Don’t let her face Donner alone.
He finally connected it and his heart leapt painfully in his chest. “Oh, Angie. What have you done?”
2
“I’m done.”
Kyle turned at the words, frowning. Jennifer was reading her final orders and Kyle assumed they were too hard.
“What does she want you to do now?” Kyle complained. “Take Donner out?”
Jennifer handed him the paper, not smiling as she said, “That’s Samantha’s job.”
Kyle read the paper in surprise.
You are finished. Take K
yle and go get your daughter. Then go south and stay with Sebastian’s people until Kyle can find safe passage to an island. You have both done your duty by us. Now go live for yourselves.
Jennifer was waiting for Kyle’s reaction, expecting him to refuse to consider it now that their safety net decision moment had arrived.
“Do you know where she has Safe Haven holed up at now?”
“No, but I can track Autumn and find it.”
Kyle nodded. “Do it.”
Jennifer gazed at Kyle in reluctant agreement. “She’s right. We should go.”
Kyle knelt in front of her, hating that this moment had to come here, like this. “I need to know if you want me with you.”
“You’d take me south and come back?”
Kyle shrugged. “I doubt I’d return here. Also too many memories for me, you know?”
Jennifer did. Kyle had also lost loved ones here in every member who’d died under his watch.
“Do you, Jen?”
She nodded quickly. “Yes. I need you.”
It was enough for him to have hope.
“Come on. Let’s get our daughter and walk away.”
His wording was intentional and he braced for anger.
“Okay.”
Stunned, he had to be sure she understood. “Are you…”
Jennifer rose, quickly, and pressed her lips to his. He was willing to give up everything for her.
Kyle had frozen, caught completely off guard, and he ended the kiss when he realized she would stay that way until he did. He would always be the lead there.
Jennifer blushed, catching the thought.
Kyle noticed she didn’t seem afraid at the idea, like she had before. “It’s because of what she had you do, right?”
“Yes,” Jennifer admitted, with gratitude. “By making me Donner’s captive, she freed me.”
And me, Kyle thought. There was no way he could ever repay the debt.
“Me either,” Jennifer whispered. She was still scared, still held terrors, but now she knew how to handle them and she had Angela to thank for it.
An explosion above them came barreling down the mountain.
