by Kira Blakely
“This is a good step, Lily. You’ll be able to get past all of this with dignity. An apology works,” Marla said.
“Time to move on with my life,” I added.
“You sure you don’t want us to wait for you?” she asked, as I began to walk away, blowing Zoe a kiss.
“Nah, I’ll be fine. I’ll take a cab. You go on off to work. See you girls tomorrow,” I said, waving my hand at them. Marla looked worried suddenly, but Zoe was my cheerleader, waving her hand at me furiously as I walked toward the building.
This was big. I had never felt so nervous before.
I could hear my heart thumping against my chest as I walked slowly toward the revolving glass doors of the magnificently tall, polished building.
I was taking a leap of faith. I didn’t even know if Casper was here or somewhere else, or if he would be willing to see me.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass doors just before I stepped in. I’d taken extra care with my outfit today. I was concerned about making the right impression. If this was going to be the last time we saw each other, I wanted him to remember me at my best. I’d chosen a pencil skirt in blue pastel floral prints that accentuated the curves on my hips. The blouse was the same pastel blue in chiffon with an elaborate ribbon bow at the collar. I’d tied my hair up in a loose bun on the side so that several bright red curls fell around my face, which I had to constantly tuck in behind my ear. The bun was held together with a blue ribbon, which I felt added a nice touch.
My trademark leather sandals and a bright red lipstick completed my look. When I looked into the glass, I was happy with the way I was going to present myself.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Casper since two days ago when we saw him on TV. I couldn’t stop imagining that he’d changed his mind about the wind farm because of me. I knew that was foolish. He’d asked me to stay out of his life. I was aware that he’d probably turn me away. That he might have already found someone new to fuck. But I couldn’t sleep at night. I needed to see him again. I wanted to thank him for the decision he made and apologize for my behavior.
There was nothing I wanted more than that. I repeatedly told myself that I was only here to thank him and for nothing else. And yet, as I pushed through the glass doors, I couldn’t stop the nervousness from gripping me hard. I couldn’t stop my mind from whizzing, playing out disaster situations, wondering if he was even there, what he might be wearing, how he might look at me.
It was all very foolish. I tried to calm my brain as I walked down the polished marble floor of the reception area. Everywhere I looked, busy-looking people in dark suits and smart skirts were walking past me. Never before had I felt this out of place, and I couldn’t deny that several people were turning to look at me, and not for all the right reasons.
I still pasted a smile on my face and walked with pretend confidence over to the reception desk where a prim-looking receptionist sat with a microphone on a headband near her mouth.
She looked extremely busy and hadn’t even noticed me walk over to her.
“Hi, good morning.” I was fumbling with my words and realized too late that it was already four in the afternoon.
The woman looked up, training her narrow, dark eyes on me with a jerk. I could see that she was studying me thoroughly, from the ribbon in my hair to my worn leather sandals. And she did not approve of what she saw.
Her hair was sleek and blond, tied in a thin, tight ponytail behind her head. She wore a dark silk blouse, and that was all I could see. She had gone for that heavy makeup look used to try and portray a no-makeup face. I could see the foundation congealing on her cheekbones.
“Good evening. How may I help you?” she asked. Her fingers were poised above the keyboard while she paused her typing to stare me down. I had never met such a high-brow receptionist before, and I raised an eyebrow at her while she continued to look at me down her sharp, long nose.
“I’m here to meet with Mr. Casper Argent. My name is Lily Fitz,” I said, as sweetly as I could.
The woman looked away from me and started typing again.
“Do you have an appointment with Mr. Argent, Lily Fitz?” she said, and I cleared my throat. So, this wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought it would be.
“No, but he knows me, so if you call him and ask, I’m sure he’ll see me,” I said, still forcing myself to smile.
“I see.” The woman was still typing furiously. “And is he expecting you, Lily Fitz?” She was saying my name like she was trying to stab me with each syllable.
I sighed, my smile slipping for a second with my frustration. “No, but like I said, he knows me,” I said, and began to tap the floor with my shoes.
Her fingers stopped typing on the keyboard, and she stared down at me with her narrow, dark eyes. It almost scared me into submission, but I held my ground. Now my nervousness was gone, and it was replaced with a new kind of bravado. Who did this woman think she was?
“Look, Mr. Argent is a very busy man. If you wouldn’t mind just leaving the leaflet with me, I promise he’ll have a look at it when he can,” she said, her lips curling in an evil smile.
“I’m not selling anything!” I raised my voice slightly as I shook my head with anger. “I’m here to talk to him, and he knows me personally.” I gulped as I said the words.
Now the idea was dawning on me, especially since this woman had repeated my name so many times, that Casper might have actually put a ban on me. He might have spread the word in his office that under no circumstances was anyone to allow me to enter the building or see him.
“I understand, Ms. Fitz, but Mr. Argent is busy in meetings at the moment, so you will have to come back.” The woman seemed to enjoy the way my face was now reddening with anger.
“I’ll wait if he’s busy,” I snapped at her. I wasn’t smiling anymore. I couldn’t hide the fact that I was deeply offended.
“Miss, I suggest you come back later. In fact, here is my card. You can call me tomorrow, and I’ll let you know if he’s available to see you,” she said, and turned to reach for her business card.
Something inside me did a somersault, and I was gone in a flash. I took the opportunity of the woman’s inattention to make a run for it. I was running for the elevators at the end of the lobby, my sandals slipping on the polished marble floor.
“Ms. Fitz! Stop!” the receptionist called in a high-pitched voice behind me. Then the hurry of boots, and when I looked over my shoulder, two uniformed guards were chasing me toward the elevators as well.
I kept running, my breath catching in my throat, my curls flying behind me. This was insane. But I was doing it.
The elevator doors pinged, and I could see people getting out. I pushed past them and pressed the penthouse button. That’s where I was taken on the day of the protest.
In typical Hollywood style, the doors closed just as the guards reached them. I shrugged my shoulders at them.
The elevator started moving, and I rested the back of my head against the steel wall and closed my eyes. What had I been thinking? I knew that security would be waiting for me on the other side of the door, or they might stop the elevator on a different floor and pull me out. Would I be put in handcuffs? Would they call the police? Was I going to be arrested? It would be such a shame to be arrested when I wasn’t even protesting something that I believed in.
I sighed as I watched the lights on the buttons move, up and up and up. I tried to catch my breath, and I could feel a film of sweat on my forehead from all the running. What would Marla say when I told her this? She’d probably laugh if I got away with it, or rebuke me if I got arrested.
The doors pinged open, and I straightened up immediately. Surprisingly, there were no guards waiting on the other side.
Chapter 19
The other set of elevator doors beside me were vibrating, and I saw the glowing numbers on the panel. How stupid were these security guards? They were chasing after me via the other elevators. I rolled my eyes and w
alked down the short, wide corridor, which I remembered. I recognized the door to his office.
When I reached it, I didn’t allow myself to think, I just pushed through them.
“You are very kind, Mr. Johnson. I trust you will find our services…” I caught Casper mid-sentence.
He was sitting on one of his pristine white couches with his hand in the air, speaking to a white-haired man sitting in front of him. The receptionist hadn’t lied; he was in a business meeting.
The trickling sound of the indoor waterfall that fed the koi pond in the corner was the only other sound in the room apart from Casper’s deep, sexy voice. Both the men had turned to look at me when I burst into the room. While the older man looked mildly surprised, Casper’s eyes narrowed. I suddenly feared that I had guessed correctly earlier. He wasn’t happy to see me. I had been banned.
“I’m sorry for interrupting this way,” I mumbled softly, feeling like an idiot.
Casper stood up with a jerk and extended a hand to the older man.
“I apologize, Mr. Johnson. We’ll have to continue our meeting some other time,” he said with that same winning smile. The man stood up and buttoned up his suit jacket before accepting Casper’s hand in a firm shake.
I stood at the door, aware now that my carefully constructed bun was falling apart, and the blue ribbon was slipping down my hair from all the running I had just done.
As the men shook hands, the two security guards burst in through the doors behind me.
“It’s all right, gentlemen. I can handle this,” Casper said to them, smiling again at the older man. He hadn’t looked at me since I burst into the room. I felt nervous and ashamed again, aware that I had interrupted something important and caused a scene. In no way did Casper Argent look happy about my presence. This had all been a bad idea and even more poorly executed.
“I’ll be in touch, Mr. Argent, and best of luck,” Mr. Johnson said, and Casper escorted him to the door. I stepped aside to let the men pass and instinctively hung my head in shame.
When the door closed, Casper slowly turned to me, thrusting both his hands into the pockets of his gray tailored pants.
“What are you doing here, Lily?” he asked, and I finally raised my head to meet his eyes.
His gaze had darkened – a deep, angry blue – and his face looked pinched but still handsome. He wasn’t pleased. I cleared my throat and shook my head, trying to get my curls back into manageable form.
“I wanted to come over here, and thank… and thank you,” I said with a nervous shudder, because Casper had now started walking toward me.
“What made you think that you could just come over here? Wasn’t my security chasing you around the building?” he asked.
I took in a deep breath, and without meeting his eyes again, I nodded. I could feel my cheeks burning up in shame.
Casper lapsed into silence, and I dared to look up at him. I thought I saw a curl of a smile forming on his face. But he didn’t want to acknowledge it.
“What is it, Lily? What did you want to thank me for? I thought we made it very clear earlier that we didn’t want to see each other again,” he said, walking away from me now toward a large oak table positioned against the glass wall.
I remained where I was, still at the door, still hanging my head. I took in a deep breath and decided that I had done nothing wrong. There was no reason for me to feel ashamed. I lifted my head and caught him taking up his position by his desk, leaning against it with his arms crossed.
“I watched your interview. I know that you decided to move the wind farm construction. I wanted to thank you for that,” I said, raising my chin high, trying to look prideful and confident.
Casper’s nostrils flared slightly, but he composed himself again. “There was no need to thank me, Lily. I didn’t do it for you,” he said in a quiet, somber voice, and our eyes met. I knew in that instant that he had done it for me. He had done it because I had convinced him to do it, because he wanted to do something for me as a parting gift.
I only pursed my lips and nodded.
“Either way, I wanted to thank you for doing the right thing,” I said, and he clenched his jaw.
“You make it seem like I was doing the wrong thing before. I only make calculated business decisions, Lily. It has nothing to do with emotions,” he said, and I raised an eyebrow.
All this while, I had been so worried about my emotions for him that I had forgotten to evaluate what his emotions for me were. What he was going through. Now everything he was saying contradicted what his eyes were communicating. This was an emotional decision, not a cold, calculated business one. Whether he admitted it now or not.
“Good for you, Casper,” I said, standing my ground.
My body was already beginning to react to his presence the way it always did. But this time, I had made up my mind to not give in. He was not going to have the better of me.
“So, you’re here to just thank me?” he asked, pursing his lips. His face was still darkened; he hadn’t relaxed. I was still afraid that he hated me.
“Yes, just… just because I know you are aware of how happy your decision has made me,” I said. My breath caught in my throat. I could smell him now, and his scent sent shivers down my spine. Casper breathed in deeply, and I noticed the way his shoulders squared. He was all hulking muscle, and I could feel the power of him in the room. I knew I had to stick to my resolve, but I could also feel myself disintegrating at the same time.
“And also, to apologize. I’m also here to apologize,” I forced myself to say.
Casper cocked an eyebrow up, as if to mock me. “You want to apologize to me?” he asked, and I was surprised to see that he had taken a few steps in my direction.
I shifted on my feet. This wasn’t going to be easy. Marla was right, apologizing to someone didn’t exactly come naturally to me.
“Why do you feel the need to apologize to me, Lily?” he asked, and I recognized that tone of laughter in his voice. He was enjoying himself again. Casper was back in his element.
“I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I know that I was too rash and impolite and a horrible guest,” I said, raising my chin up. The only way to battle my way out of this was by keeping my pride.
“A horrible guest?” he asked, raising both his eyebrows in mock-surprise.
“Yes, I was a guest on your plane and at your party, and I shouldn’t have made a scene,” I said, watching him as he came closer to me.
Casper suddenly threw his head back and laughed. My mouth nearly hung open from the insult. How could he laugh? Why did he always laugh at me? My fists clenched and unclenched themselves in fury. I could feel the back of my neck growing red with rage. If he didn’t stop laughing soon, I was going to slap him across his face.
“Lily, don’t ever apologize for standing up for yourself,” he said, his laughter dying suddenly as he looked me straight in the eye.
Wow. He really knew how to knock the breath right out of me.
He could see that I was confused, and he stepped closer to me.
“I have my own set of complications. Everyone does. But you stood up for yourself that day, and you shouldn’t have to apologize to me for it. That isn’t the Lily Fitz I know.”
I heard his words, but I couldn’t actually believe them.
Then he placed his large hands on my shoulders, sending electric shocks down my spine. I had to crane my neck up to look at him. He was towering over me, looking down at me with his warm gray-blue eyes. He had a smile on his face, and this time, something told me that the smile was genuine. He was pleased with me for whatever strange reason that I couldn’t understand.
“So, are you saying that you should be asking me for forgiveness?” I asked him, biting down on my lip.
Casper’s shoulders shook again as he laughed. “How about neither of us apologizes for the things we said?” he said, and I tried to suppress a smile that I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide for very long.
“I’m
not apologizing. I’m just admitting that I was jealous. Of Samantha, of all the other women you are potentially sleeping with,” I said, and I cocked my head to one side to look up at him from a better angle.
Casper smirked and then drew in a deep breath. His hands dropped, stroking my arms as he went along, and he did it slowly so that I could feel his touch on every pore of my skin even through the fabric of my blouse.
“And I will admit that I did it for you. It wasn’t a business decision to move the wind farms. I did it because I wanted you to see me in an interview, to come running through the doors and forgive me for how angry I’ve made you,” he said in that smooth, deep voice of his that always made my skin tingle.
“Am I really that predictable?” I said with a laugh.
“Let’s test how well I can actually predict you,” he said, and I rolled my eyes and smiled at him.
“Go ahead,” I said, placing my hands on my hips as a challenge.
“I predict that you’re going to accept my job offer and come work with me so that I can start making more environmentally-conscious business decisions and never make you mad again,” he said.
I could barely hear him from how loud my heart was thumping against my chest.
“Only if you put in a clause that I can still protest your decisions if I don’t like them,” I said, and in a flash, Casper lunged at me. “I only came here to talk to you,” I said, as he drew me into his arms, his hands gripping my hips tightly like he was getting ready to ride a bike. I was only pretending. I wasn’t really trying to fight him off.
“I know. But things change; you get naked, you scream when I make you come. You know, things happen,” he whispered in my ears as he held me in his arms. My body jolted from his touch. He had sent goose bumps all over my flesh. I knew I was melting. I was losing all my resolve. I had just agreed to work with him.
Chapter 20
Casper had his mouth on the base of my neck, on that sweet spot that made my body quiver. I was in his arms like putty, melting into nothingness as he held me close to him. I could feel his raging hard on, pressing into my hip as he held me in position. He was sucking on my skin, and I had never thought that it could feel this good.
