Love Me Again (Pinecone Valley Book 1)

by Cindy Stark

  “Sad case, that one. Back in five,” she called over her shoulder as she made her way down the hall toward the break room.

  Weariness of the day washed over Krystal as she picked up the chart of their latest patient and headed toward her room. Josh and Cam had transported the nineteen-year-old female an hour earlier. She’d slit her wrists in the bathtub at home, and, luckily, her older brother had found her in time. She’d lost so much blood it was a wonder she was still alive.

  They’d sedated and stitched her, while the brother had gone to fetch his mom from a local dive on the edge of town where it seemed she hung out regularly along with many of the rougher guys from the nearby oil fields.

  The woman hadn’t answered her phone, was probably too drunk to drive anyway, and had no idea her daughter had nearly exited this world. From her son’s description, Krystal wasn’t sure she would have noticed or cared either way.

  Another perfect example of a woman who shouldn’t have tried to be domestic. At least two people, her children, suffered from her choices. There were probably more. Motherhood was not for everyone.

  Psych would take the girl in the morning. She seemed so young, but really, she was the same age Krystal had been when she’d decided to do something with her life and signed up for college.

  It was all about choices.

  Krystal turned the corner into the room and stopped. Her interior alarms blared at the sight in front of her. The young woman’s drowsy eyes were opened, and she startled when she noticed Krystal. Blood stained the white blanket covering her, and it only took Krystal a second to figure out what had happened.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Krystal rushed forward as the girl began to shake her head. A quick glance told her the girl had shut down the monitors to avoid detection, which explained why the nurses hadn’t received an alert.

  “No,” the teenager cried when Krystal reached her, flailing her arms in an effort to push her away. “Let me go.”

  “Oh, my God. Honey, no.” She struggled to overpower the girl, but, despite the drugs that should still have rendered her unconscious, she exhibited amazing strength.

  Krystal paused to press the help button on the side of the bed, her finger leaving a bloody mark. “You need to calm down and let us help you.”

  “No,” the girl wailed. “Just let me die.” She shoved at her, knocking her hard in the cheek. Krystal stumbled back as the girl climbed from the other side of the bed and fell to the floor, taking the IV pole down with her.

  Krystal raced around and tried to lift her, but couldn’t with the girl fighting to be free.

  Where the hell was everyone? Giselle had gone for coffee, but Marlee should be there somewhere. Blood ran from one of the girl’s wrists where she’d managed to tear her stitches.

  Krystal left her patient long enough to run into the hall, shocked that there was absolutely no one around. Marlee had to be in one of the patients’ rooms, but Krystal didn’t have time to search her out. “Damn it,” she yelled at the top of her lungs. “I need help in here now.”

  “Goddamn it,” she cursed to herself as she hurried back inside. She’d have to handle this on her own. Her pulse thundered in her veins, but she reined it in. She could do this. She could help this poor, misguided soul.

  “Sweet mother of God.” Her own blood drained to her feet when she found the young patient on the floor where she’d left her, digging at her neck with the needle she’d pulled from her arm. Her breath came in gasps.

  “I’m going to be free,” she whispered her eyes wild with determination. Then she crumpled.

  Krystal dropped to her knees, instantly placing her hand over the girl’s wrist to limit the flow of blood. They should have transfused her, but the doctor didn’t think it was necessary. Probably wouldn’t have been if she’d kept what blood she’d had, but now this. “I need help,” she screamed.

  “Krystal?” A worried voice came from the doorway as Josh rushed inside.

  “Help me. She’s bleeding again, and I’m sure her blood pressure has dropped to a critical level.”

  Josh scooped her up and placed her on the bed. “Keep the pressure, and I’ll—shit. She’s not breathing.” He opened her mouth to check her airway as Krystal used her free hand to place two fingers on the girl’s neck.

  “No pulse,” she said.

  “Fuck.” He left the bedside long enough to hit the blue code button, and Krystal gasped, feeling as though she’d been hit over the head.

  “Oh, my God,” she whispered. “Why didn’t I do that before?” She’d been trained. She should have remembered.

  Within seconds, a team of doctors and nurses rushed into the room. Josh gave them a quick update as Krystal continued to stare, stunned.

  She stepped back when a tall doctor pushed her out of the way.

  “We’ve got this. Go take care of yourself. You’re a walking biohazard.”

  She glanced down at her scrubs, at her trembling hands covered in blood. The adrenaline that had flooded her veins stopped abruptly, leaving her a shaking, nauseous mess. She met Josh’s gaze, his expression concerned, his khakis streaked with red as well.

  “Come on.” He took her hand, and she let him lead her from the room.

  “We have extra scrubs,” she whispered as they walked down the hall, an aching, disappointed emptiness claiming all that she was. She knew she should let go of him, but she was afraid if she did, she’d completely fall apart.

  She pushed through the door leading to the employee locker room. The quietness of the green tiled space failed to provide her any solace. During her preceptorship, she’d made some mistakes, but she’d always had someone to catch her, to provide backup.

  Now, all mistakes were hers to own. The thought overwhelmed her. Left her cold.

  With mechanical movements, she walked to a supply closet and pulled two sets of scrubs, pushing one toward Josh’s stomach. When he placed a hand over the fresh clothes, she released them and moved to her locker.

  She pulled her soiled scrub and the long-sleeved cotton t-shirt she’d worn for warmth over her head and let them fall to the floor. Without thinking, she shimmied out of pants as well.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She turned to Josh, slightly surprised he was still there. Not that she’d heard him leave. But she’d been so focused on reliving the experience.

  The sight of him towering over her, shirtless, his chest and arms more muscled than she remembered… Her heartbeat lost its rhythm, and then seemed to restart at a much faster pace.

  “My mistake could cost that girl her life.” The simplicity and stark reality of her statement astounded her.

  “You didn’t make any mistakes. You did exactly what you needed to.”

  She slowly shook her head. “I should have pushed the button. Earlier. When I first found her. After no one answered at the nurses’ station.” Help would have been there immediately.

  He stepped closer, and she tilted her head back to keep her focus on his face. He seemed to be the only thing keeping her sane.

  His eyes were deep, dark pools. A sanctuary from her thoughts. She’d lost herself in them so many times, finding indescribable ecstasy when she had. They called to her now.

  He scrubbed a hand over his short hair. “Nah, Krystal. You did what you should have. She’ll be okay.”

  “She will, right?” A tremble rolled through her. She had to believe her actions hadn’t hurt someone.

  She stared at him for a moment. He was so close, so strong, so there. She lifted a hand, and slowly, tentatively placed it on his bare chest over his heart. A strong, solid beat greeted her with life-affirming thuds. She inhaled a breath and let it slide out of her, taking comfort from his presence.

  She wasn’t sure if it was because she’d touched the fragile line between life and death, but suddenly, everything seemed richer, clearer, more passionate. To the point where she feared her senses might experience overload.

  She swallowed. “I need
to shower.” Needed to wash the blood and fear and desperate need from her before she did something she’d regret.

  She turned from him and headed into the adjoining room toward the shower stalls. She reached in to turn on the water, then straightened and startled when she bumped his hard body.

  He placed firm hands over her shoulders, holding her in place, staring into her eyes. She wanted to tell him to stop, but couldn’t. God. She couldn’t ask him to walk away.

  A powerful shiver rocked through her. A small voice deep inside her mind warned her, but she couldn’t listen. Wouldn’t listen. Her body had taken control of her actions, overpowering any rational thoughts she might have had. She didn’t want to be right, didn’t want to think of the future.

  She wanted to be held. To be loved.

  She’d ignored her baser needs for far too long and now they screamed for attention.

  When she didn’t move, didn’t push him away, a look of equally hot need flared in his expression. She drank it in like she’d die from thirst.

  Damn it all.

  He slid his hands down her bare arms as tingles erupted over her. Slowly, he trailed his fingers across her back, following the band of her bra. He arched a brow, a silent, subtle question in his eyes, but she kept her gaze steady.

  He needed less than a second to unhook the clasp, and she allowed her eyes to flutter shut as her breasts fell free. He inhaled sharply, and then his hands were on her face, holding her cheeks as he took possession of her mouth.

  She gasped as he claimed her. The powerful way he held her left her shaking for more.

  He pushed her inside the shower stall, pulling the door shut behind them.

  Hot water tumbled over them, a shield from the crazy world. She allowed no thoughts to enter her mind as he pushed her against the smooth tiles. Only feelings.

  Danger fed her pulse. Her actions were reckless, and she didn’t care. She’d spent the last four years caring, doing anything to help her get ahead. Tonight, caution be damned.

  Right now, she needed to feel alive.

  She slipped her hands into his hair, then over his slippery, wet shoulders. She needed to touch him, to feel him, to live what she’d dreamed about and remembered for far too long. Steam rose around them, making it seem as though she’d entered another reality.

  He pushed her hair back from her face, kissing her lips, her nose, her eyelids as though he couldn’t get enough. The thought that he needed, wanted her so much edged her close to the brink.

  She returned his possessive kisses, fought to keep breath in her lungs as her barren senses filled and then flooded with all that was Josh. How could she have lived without him for so long?

  She struggled to find focus when he slipped his hands beneath the elastic of her panties and dug his fingers into her ass, hauling her against his erection. The hard length of him demanded attention, and she couldn’t keep from reaching between them to encircle him.

  He hissed a curse against her shoulder and jerked her panties down her legs.

  Breathing heavily, he straightened and caught her gaze, his full of wild, dark promises that left her shivering.

  “Hang on to me,” he commanded and then gave her the briefest of seconds to wrap her arms around his neck before he lifted her. With his hands holding the backs of her thighs, he pinned her against the tiles.

  He impaled her with a swift, impatient thrust that left her breathless. She hadn’t been with another man, not this way, since Josh, and the feel of him inside her, filling every inch nearly destroyed her. “Sweet sugared Jesus,” she said with a gasp.

  “Yes,” he groaned and claimed her over and over again.

  Each movement was a delicious taste of overpowering sensations. She tugged his head close to hers, capturing his lips between her teeth before soothing him with greedy kisses.

  When he pushed her to the point she could do nothing but exist, she leaned her cheek against his, panting as her world exploded. She convulsed around him, hanging on lest she totally lose herself to their primal act.

  He gripped her tighter, pumping into her with an animalistic force until he stiffened. “Fuck, yeah,” he hissed into the steamy mist.

  He moved a few more times, but with each stroke, reality crashed down around them. When there was nothing left but their heavy breathing, he pulled away from the wall and lowered her to her feet.

  She had a moment of bliss before panic ensued like a cold splash of water to her face.

  All the reasons why she should have run emerged like a giant disaster on the horizon.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Krystal’s alarm must have shown in her expression because Josh’s shifted quickly from satisfied to concerned.

  A low tremble began deep inside her and radiated outward. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God.”

  “Krystal.” He lifted her chin with his fingers. “It’s okay, honey.”

  “We didn’t use a condom.” Her voice cracked as she spoke. Never in her life would she understand how she could have forgotten protection.

  “Shit.” He closed his eyes briefly as though he was deeply disappointed in himself.

  She put a hand on his chest and shook her head, trying to gather everything coming at her into one sentence. “This is my fault. I should have considered repercussions. I should never have thought I could…”

  “Krystal. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. It was one time.”

  She sucked in a breath, trying to focus through the daze of emotion. “It only takes one time, and I’m right in the middle of my cycle.”

  A hint of fear lit in his eyes. “But the odds are with us. It’s going to be okay.”

  She studied him for a moment, his hair plastered with water as rivulets continued to stream down his solid body. The body she’d just made love with. God, she couldn’t even go there right now. “Okay. Okay. It’s going to be fine.” She had to believe that. “I’m going to go. I need… This can’t happen again.”

  “Krystal—”

  “No.” She held up a hand when he reached for her. “I mean that. Never again.”

  He started to argue, but she picked her sodden panties off the floor and opened the door, praying no one would be there to notice her.

  Chilled air raced over her naked body, and she quickly snagged a towel from the supply rack and covered herself. She grabbed the fresh scrubs she’d acquired from the locker room and slipped inside another shower to change.

  * * *

  Josh punched the faucet handle, effectively turning off the water.

  “Damn it.” Here, he’d had the opportunity to have a second chance with the woman he still loved, and he’d completely fucked it up. Cam would call it a success because he’d scored, but Cam didn’t know Krystal like he did. Forgetting to use a condom with Krystal was like signing a death sentence. She’d never trust him again.

  Krystal was so damn certain her career and his love had to be on polar opposite sides of the damn planet. He’d had his opportunity to prove otherwise, but now she’d be freaking out that she might be pregnant and wouldn’t listen.

  Hell, he was, too, truth be told. Contrary to her beliefs, he didn’t want to be a father until she was ready, either. Nothing like an unwanted kid to screw things up. He’d witnessed that personally in his own family.

  He had to try, though. Had to make sure she was okay. Had to know if there was a way he could get through to her.

  He opened the shower door and slung a towel around his hips, but she was gone. He didn’t know where she could have escaped to so quickly. Hell, for all he knew, she’d been in such a big hurry to get away, she might have run down the hall in a towel just so she wouldn’t have to see him again.

  He pulled blue scrub pants up around his waist just as the locker room door opened, and he glanced over his shoulder, expecting Krystal had come back. Instead, he found her red-haired coworker staring at him with a wide-eyed, surprised expression.

  “Hey, Marlee,” he said in greeting as he picked up
the shirt from a bench in front of the lockers and tugged it over his head.

  She cleared her throat. “Hey.” She glanced continually in his direction as she lifted her hand to a lock, but she failed to focus on anything but him, leaving the atmosphere awkward.

  “Have you seen, Krystal?” he asked as he stuffed his feet into boots, noticing a few blood droplets on them.

  The nurse wrinkled her brow. “I think she left. Her shift is over.”

  He stood and grabbed his soiled clothes. “Thanks.” He’d check to see if her car was still in the lot. If so, he’d find her. They needed to talk.

  * * *

  Josh searched everywhere before he found Krystal walking to her car thirty minutes later, and he raced to catch up. Morning air, heavy with frost saturated his lungs. “Krystal, wait.”

  She shook her head and kept walking.

  He caught her as she unlocked her car. Red rims around her eyes told him she’d been crying.

  “No, Josh. Just no. I was wrong to kiss you, to…”

  He placed a hand on her car door to keep her from opening it. “Excuse me, but I kissed you first, so if there’s anyone to blame, it’s me.”

  “Don’t you see? I could be pregnant. You have a girlfriend.” A look of self-loathing crossed her face. “I don’t want to be that person.”

  Recruiting Paige had obviously been a huge mistake on his part. “It’s not like we planned it, Krystal. It just happened. Besides me and Paige—”

  “Please, just don’t. I caved to a moment of weakness, and it won’t happen again. I’m so sorry. You have a new life, and I have mine, too. We both have what we wanted, and this was nothing but a physical response to stress. Nothing more. Let’s not read more into it than that, okay?”

  Her words stung. “A physical response to stress? So basically you used me?”

  She bit her bottom lip. “Yes,” she blurted out.

  “Well.” When would he learn? He was exactly the dumb ass Cam had said. “I hope it was good for you then.” Cause it sure as hell had been for him, but it wasn’t worth the price.