by Amy Field
“Do you love him?”
Anna didn’t answer and her mother sighed.
“I like him and he seems like a responsible person. I also know that he isn’t going to give up so you should make your decision. I know as a mother you want to protect your child but don’t project your dissatisfaction onto your child.”
Anna listened and was going to say something when Paul came back. They chatted but Anna was too preoccupied with her thoughts. Her mother was right, she had to make her decision.
Dinner ended and they all went back to the living room where Anna fed Jacob. Her mother and Paul were getting on nicely and An na smiled. They were already behaving like old friends.
It grew late and Anna stood up.
“I should go,” she said.
“I’ll drop you off.” Paul was already on his feet.
Her mother had a smile on her face as she bid them goodbye. On the way to her house, they didn’t talk and Anna felt an awkwardness in the air. Paul was thinking about something as well. When they got to her apartment, he made to leave but she stopped him.
“Why don’t you come in? For coffee?” Anna suggested.
Paul nodded slowly and she opened her door, heading first to her bedroom to put Jacob in his crib. When she came back, he was sitting on the couch. She made the coffee and set down the mug in front of him. Paul took a sip and waited for her to speak.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what did my mother say to you?” Anna asked.
Paul gave her a wry smile. “She asked me what my intentions were.”
“What did you tell her?”
“The truth,” Paul said and added, “She told me that a mother’s heart was hardened but she thought that I had a chance.”
Anna had to laugh at that and Paul took her hands.
“Anna, you know how I feel but talking to Jenny, it made me realize that I shouldn’t pressurize you. I am asking for the last time, please marry me.” Paul’s eyes bore into hers and Anna found it hard to breathe.
This was the decision she had to take. She couldn’t push it and she closed her eyes for a second, asking her heart the question. The answer was quick.
“Yes,” Anna said tears filling her eyes.
Paul smiled and hugged her tightly. Anna felt the peace radiate through her, she was sure she had made the right decision. She had never made any allusions about her feelings for Paul and though he hadn’t been in the right those months ago, it wasn’t something that should be held against him. He had begged for forgiveness and she knew he would try to make up for it, however he could.
“Anna, I love and I’ll love you forever and ever. I’ll make up for everything I did,” Paul promised.
Anna nodded and he leaned in, kissing her with all the passion he could muster. Anna wrapped her hands around his shoulder, feeling the love that she had all but hidden inside of her for all those months. Yes, this was it.
Their moment was ruined by a piercing cry and they both parted, bursting out laughing.
“I’ll go to him,” Paul said. “I should get used to it.”
Anna linked her hands with his, “We should both get used to it.”
They smiled at each and then walked to the bedroom, where their baby was waiting for them. This was going to be the start of their life together.
THE END
Book IV
Love Child Surprise
Chapter One
Maria Adams was heartbroken.
Everything she believed in had changed and she was no longer sure what reality was. She tried to keep her hold on the scenario in front of her but like a wild butterfly, it slipped through the cracks of her fingers. Her back ached but Maria hardly felt it. The pain in her mind was greater.
She knew they wanted an answer from her but Maria was unable to give one. They were waiting, patiently, to know what was wrong with her. To know why she wasn’t on her way down the aisle, why she was on the chair motionless.
She should be getting up. She should have her bridesmaids around her, fussing over her dress and asking her if she was nervous. They would have held up the train of her dress, an extravagance, and reminded her to put down her veil.
Those were the things that would have happened.
But they were the things of a lost future, a future that could no longer be fulfilled.
If someone had asked her if this was going to happen to her, Maria would have laughed at them.
Until last night, she had been a happy soon-to-be bride.
Last night…
It was stifling inside the hall but Maria hardly noticed it as she laughed at Jaime’s joke.
Her best friend Jaime, red curls bouncing on her shoulders with the freckles highlighted on her pale face, was laughing with her. Jaime had been the one to crack the joke but like always, she couldn’t keep a straight face.
“You have the craziest experiences at work.” Maria wiped a tear from her eye.
“That’s why I love it,” Jaime said, grinning.
Jaime was the manager of a shop but she liked to walk around the floor, pretending to be a sales clerk. That way, she was aware of any problems caused by customers. Maria used to work at the same store until she graduated to the main office.
“I almost wish I was back there.”
“Says the person who has her own office.” Jaime rolled her eyes.
Maria put her arm around Jaime’s shoulder, pulling her closer. Jaime rolled her eyes again but didn’t push her hand away. The two sat down on empty chairs and Jaime looked around the hall.
“Where’s Prince Charming?”
“He is somewhere,” Maria answered.
“I have no idea why you guys have so many guests.”
“Matt had to invite his co-workers and friends.”
“But three hundred people?” Jaime exclaimed.
“Some of them are mine too,” Maria defended her fiancé.
“Yeah, like thirty of them,” Jaime retorted. “You’ll have a busy social life, that’s confirmed.”
“I don’t mind,” Maria said softly.
She tried to search for Matt but he wasn’t visible through the hordes of people. Though they had booked a large hall, it was filled to the edges with people. Jaime hadn’t been wrong, a lot of the guests were from Matt’s side but Maria had understood when he had told her that he needed to invite people. He worked in a network as their production director so he had a lot of people to take care of. Maria was used to it but now, seeing all the people, she felt slightly sick.
Jaime was chatting about the wedding and Maria nodded, distracted. She almost stood up when she saw Matt walking over to them. As always, he struck her dumb. Maria had always thought that he was good enough to be an actor but Matt had laughed at her when she had told him that. He had dark hair with chocolate brown eyes. He was tall, towering over Maria and as he stood over them, he had to peer down at her.
“How are you two doing?” Matt asked.
“Great, is your schmoozing over?” Jaime asked testily.
Matt glared at her but Maria jumped in to smooth everything over.
“It’s alright, work is work,” Maria said hastily.
“Have you seen my parents?” Matt asked.
“I haven’t, should I have?
“You should see if they are comfortable.”
Without another word, Matt had disappeared, leaving behind the two of them. Maria was used to it but Jaime looked annoyed.
“Are you marrying a person or an escort?”
“Don’t be harsh, Jaime,” Maria reprimanded.
Jaime shook her but didn’t say anything. Maria stared on at the crowd, feeling lost for the first time throughout the evening. She hadn’t expected her rehearsal dinner to be like this. Of course she hadn’t been expecting everything to be perfect but the best way to describe her feeling was to say that she was lonely. She didn’t think it would be like this.
Maria hadn’t seen her sister and she wondered where she had gotten to. Her
parents couldn’t make the wedding but her sister had come up. At the thought of her sister, Maria saw her walking towards her.
Celia, with her long dark hair and long lashes, was making her way through the crowd with grace and lightness. She had an inner dignity that Maria didn’t possess and had always aspired to. She was three years older than Maria and wasn’t married.
When Maria had told her she was going to get married, Celia had cried and promised to make it. They had always been close to one another and Maria loved her sister with all her heart.
“This is something,” Celia said. “I am hungry.”
“It’s a rehearsal dinner, the eating comes later,” Jaime joked.
“Have you talked to mom and dad?” Celia asked.
Maria shook her head. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow. I wish they could have come.”
“Dad broke his leg so you know they couldn’t have. It was unfortunate really.”
“I am really glad you took time off of work for this,” Maria said to Celia.
Celia smiled. She owned her own clothing store and was almost always busy. Maria had to beg her to come to the wedding but it was worth it. This wedding was going to be perfect.
Now if only her soon to be husband didn’t abandon her, everything would be all right.
Suddenly a silence settled into the hall and Maria stood up. It took her a second to hear the clinking of the glass.
“Everyone,” Matt’s voice echoed. “I have to say something.”
Small murmurs broke out. Everyone waited to in anticipation to hear what he was about to say.
“I know there’s a lot of people here and I am grateful for that but today, I felt as if I was ignoring my bride. Maria could you come here?”
As Maria watched a path opened up for her through the crowd and at the center of the hall, Matt was waiting for her, holding a microphone. She stood up amid all the gazes and took slow steps towards him, trying not to panic. Maria didn’t like being the center of attention so this was nerve-wracking for her.
Finally she reached Matt and he wrapped his hand around her waist, pulling her closer.
“Don’t be shy Maria, these are all our friends!”
All your friends, Maria thought in her mind and was surprised by the thought. She wasn’t usually uncharitable but she realized that she resented that so many of the guests were strangers for her. She didn’t want her wedding to be filled with strangers but it was for Matt so she would smile and keep her mouth shut about it.
“Tomorrow we are both going to be bound together as husband and wife, I can hardly wait for it. Maria, my darling, I love you and I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”
Maria forgot her initial resentment and tears sprang to her eyes. Here was Matt proclaiming his love for her and she was acting like a child. That wouldn’t do. She hugged him back and rested her head on his shoulder, reveling in the claps that followed. This was everything she could have hoped for and more. She would enjoy this day and remember it after they got married as the day before the best day of her life.
Maria felt like a fool.
She was stupid for having had such unrealistic hopes from the wedding. It served her right to have everything collapse around her. She deserved it.
“Maria,” Jaime’s’s voice was careful and slightly scared.
Maria didn’t say anything, she was still lost in the memories of what she had seen.
“You haven’t talked in an hour, Maria you have to speak. What did you see?”
Maria looked at Jaime with dead eyes. Everyone had left and Jaime had stayed behind. She was still in her bridesmaid dress, a red dress with ruffles at the bottom.
“I saw…” Maria couldn’t go on and Jaime could see that.
She reached for Maria, pulling her up gently and wrapped her hand around her shoulders.
“Let’s get you home,” Jaime said soothingly.
“No!” Maria said vehemently. “Anywhere but that place.”
“We’ll go to my place then.”
Jaime led her out of the dressing room and Maria saw that the hallway was empty.
“Where is everyone?”
“I sent them away,” Jaime said shortly.
Maria had never been gladder to have her as a friend. Jaime took her outside, to her car where she hooked the seat belt for Maria. Maria stared out, through the window, trying to stop the flow of images that had burned into her brain.
She had never thought Celia would betray her like this.
It’s bad luck to see the groom before the wedding.
Maria had a physical reaction when those words went through her mind. Now they had a different meaning, Celia had uttered those words with a purpose. She wanted to get her out of the way.
Her own sister had been having an affair with her fiancé. Maria couldn’t believe it. She tried to prove herself wrong but she had seen it with her own eyes.
“I can’t go through with it,”
“Matt, we can’t…you are supposed to love Maria.”
“Celia, you are the one I love.”
They were kissing in her mind and Maria wanted to die. She had been so blind. All those trips that Matt took, on the pretense of work, the missed calls…everything. She should have understood that there was something wrong but she as blind. She could only see him and the glamorous life that he offered her. She could only understand that she loved him and that was enough for her.
She didn’t see what lurked beneath the covers.
“He was cheating on me…with Celia,” she whispered.
Jaime jolted, her hands tightening on the steering wheel.
“Impossible, you have to be kidding.”
“I saw them together. You know I went to see him, to ask about the seating arrangements and I heard them talking.”
“Talking about what?”
“They were talking about running away together, he was going to jilt me at the altar.” She choked on her words, trying to comprehend it.
Her fiancé and her sister. It was surreal thinking about it.
“I can’t believe it. I know I didn’t like him but to think he would do something so heinous, I can’t wrap my head around it,”
Maria nodded absently, she wanted to say something but it felt like she was trapped inside her mind, like a spectator watching a show without trying to do anything to change the outcome of a situation. Jaime drove on and Maria was barely aware of when they reached Jaime’s apartment. She didn’t notice the stares she got or hear the whispers.
It was only inside of Jaime’s apartment that Maria was able to breath. She caught sight of herself, reflected from Jaime’s glass cabinets and her chest tightened. She was still inside the dress that she had bought, had spent so much money on.
“Maria…”
Maria didn’t respond, she walked straight into Jaime’s bedroom and stood in front of Jaime’s tall mirror. She saw her dark hair hair, done up in a French twist, her eyes done up with blue eye shadow which made her eyes pop. Her face was deadly pale, more pale than usual and she felt sick. Slowly, she slipped off the dress and bunched it up, throwing it to the wall with force that she didn’t know she had. Her legs gave away and she fell into a kneeling position in front of the mirror.
It was only then Maria began to cry in earnest.
Chapter Two
“Did you eat anything last night?”
Maria stopped in the middle of stirring her bowl of cereal, something she had been doing for five minutes and looked at Jaime’s concerned face.
Jaime was dressed for work and she had an empty cup of coffee in front of her. Maria looked at her with lifeless eyes and shook her head.
“I was feeling sick,” Maria muttered.
“That’s the third time this week. Don’t you think you should get that checked out?”
“I am fine,” Maria said quietly. “I am just tired.”
“Maria, you should do something. I know you have time off work but…”
Maria d
idn’t want to think about her vacation. It had been three weeks since the wedding, she had originally taken this vacation for her honeymoon, an event that was supposed to last for six weeks but that hadn’t happened. The tickets were with Matt and she suspected that he had gone with Celia. The thought was like a knife piercing her heart.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Alright but please, Maria, go to the doctor. You look terrible. I am leaving.”
Maria didn’t move until Jaime left the apartment, then she picked up her cereal bowl and poured the contents down the drain. Her stomach was queasy and Maria kept her eyes on the milk that swirled around the drain before disappearing.
She ran the tap water to get rid of the remnants and drifted towards the sofa, where she curled up on the couch. Sometimes Jaime came back home to see her on the couch, not having moved from the position. Maria was aware that she was making things harder for Jaime but she couldn’t help it. The sadness that surrounded her was a like a wall around her heart, refusing to let anyone in, even her best friend which was terrible of her. Maria didn’t want to be like this but she was trapped.
Today, however, Jaime’s words stuck to her. She was right, Maria hadn’t been feeling well. She had thrown up most of what she had eaten in the last few days and it made Maria wonder if her sadness was turning into physical symptoms. Maria doubted it.
She drummed her belly with her fingers and sighed deeply. The days that passed after the wedding, she had thought, hoped, that Matt would realize that he was making a mistake by not being with her. That, somehow, he would call her and tell her that she was the one for him.
Stupid dreams that wouldn’t go away.
Maria felt pathetic.
Maria turned on the TV, hoping something would distract her. None of the channels caught her attention and she kept on flipping the channels. She gave up after and left it on the news channel. However when it was time for the commercial break, she saw that they were advertising the drama that Matt was producing. She almost threw the remote but settled on turning the TV off, her heart pounding wildly, spreading the hurt through her body. Maria wished she could forget it like it was a dream, she didn’t want to think about but it wouldn’t leave her mind.
